FROM THE ROYAL FARMS ARENA IN BALTIMORE, MARYLAND!
Big Money Oswald - vs -
??? Open Challenge!
Oswald will take on ANYONE!
The FIRST person to post a1,000 word RP marked for the open challenge, from any brand in the XWF, will come face the Anarchy Champion!
Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif
Big Preesh
- vs -
Elijah Martin
Referee: John X
Bianca McBride
- vs -
HGH
- vs -
Jack Inthebox Triple Threat! Referee: Chaz Bobo
Terry Borden
- vs -
Thias Watts Baltimore Street Fight!
Match takes place in an alleyway behind the arena, and the cops have all been told to not answer any 911 calls!
SPECIAL GUEST Referee:
THAT GUY THAT PLAYED BUBBLES ON THE WIRE!
Sonya Benson
- vs -
Jax Hart X-Treme rules!
Referee: Virginia Hymen
CONTRACT SIGNING!
ANARCHY COMMISSIONER DOLLY WATERS PRESIDES OVER THE SIGNING FOR THE RELENTLESS MATCH-UP PITTING CENTURION AGAINST GOD OF DEATH!!
Latina Submission Machina
- vs -
Miss Fury
- vs -
Ruby
- vs -
Tommy Wish
- vs -
John Caedus
Gauntlet Match for the Number One Contendership!
At Relentless, Big Money Oswald has demanded he defend the Anarchy Title - but who will be the challenger???
Entrance into the gauntlet will be randomized and an algorithm will be applied to adjust scoring based on "fatigue" after advancing.
Referee: Ari Silverstein
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
No one is really sure if it’s pyro or gunfire… because WE ARE IN BALTIMORE MARYLAND, BABY!
Fire and lasers and explosions galore fill the air of the arena, and soon we settle on “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane sitting at his desk tapping a pen like crazy.
Vinnie Lane: “FOLKS! We are live and electric right here in the home of Edgar Allen Poe and actual murderer Ray Lewis! We’re coming up FAST to Relentless, the biggest show of the year… three nights of action in Chicago Illi-NOIR… get it? Ha! I kill me!”
Vinnie mugs.
Vinnie Lane: “But our Anarchy Champ Big Money Ozzy needs a challenger, and we’ll be determining that RIGHT HERE TONIGHT in our main event gauntlet match! We’ve also got a Baltimore Street Fight between Terry Borden and Thias Watts, an intense contract signing between XWF legend Centurion and the man who wants to end his illustrious career, the God of Death… all that and more! But first, we’re going to the ring to see who answers Big Money’s open challenge! Let’s get to it!”
Big Money Oswald - vs -
??? Open Challenge!
Oswald will take on ANYONE!
Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif
His music hits, soon the ramp opens up and slowly Oswald begins to rise. His ornate cane planted in the platform, dressed to the nines like always. The crowd starts to chant "MAY-HEM, B. O. B.! MAY-HEM, B. O. B.! MAY-HEM, B. O. B.! MAY-HEM, B. O. B.! " Once he stands on equal footing with the stage, he flung open his arms to form a t, letting out a loud roar, before grinning as he steps forward. He makes his way down the ramp, slowly unbuttoning his suit jacket, his tie, his dress shirt. Finally, he unbuttons the XWF Anarchy Championship belt, handing it, his clothes, and the cane, to one of his servants. He stands in the center of the ring, ready to face off against his opponent.
Vinnie Lane: "Wow dude! We’ve got our first match of the night and it’s an open challenge! Money Oswald, possibly listening to Dolly Waters after their in-ring discussion about the Future of Anarchy, is ready to take on any comer!"
The crowd excitedly murmurs, waiting for Oswald’s opponent!
…
…
The crowd pops!
EDWARD steps out from the curtain wearing an ill-fitting suit and sunglasses as his boy EDWARD Jr. follows out behind him hopping around the stage like a monkey boy.
Vinnie Lane: “Gnarly! Edward Junior is answering Money Oswald’s open challenge! He was mondo impressive in his debut victory over HGH! And his team only lost in his second match due to some bogus miscommunication!"
EDWARD shouts and points to the ring, directing JUNIOR to head down the ramp. EDWARD follows behind as JUNIOR bounces from one side of the barricade to the other slapping hands and interacting with fans before finally climbing into the ring and bouncing all around it with some hyper energy that must come from hard life on the island.
A projector rains light down from above and the projection of Holoref Dot Gif appears… A very gentle mist get blasted into the ring so Holoref Dot Gif can operate in three dimensions of administration!
Holoref Dot Gif points at the timekeeper!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Big Money Oswald
- vs -
Edward Junior Open Challenge
Oswald will take on anyone
Edward Junior rolls around the ring, circling around Oswald… Oswald bends his knees and circles facing his opponent.
Vinnie Lane: "Dude! These two could not have more different in-ring styles! We’re about to see an embodiment of strength versus speed! Power versus agility! Righteous!"
Junior cart-wheels, somersaults and backward rolls, seemingly calling on an endless supply of energy. Just looking at this is raising Holoref Dot Gif’s CPU usage!
Suddenly, Junior bounces off the ropes, springboarding himself onto Oswald!
Oswald catches him in a bear hug and… Heaves him up in the air! Then plants Junior into the mat with a Double A Spinebuster!
Vinnie Lane: "Man, I stand corrected! People forget Oswald can be surprisingly quick!"
Oswald drops into a cover. Holoref Dot Gif drops to the mat to count...
1!
2!!
Junior kicks out!
Vinnie Lane: "And Junior is no weakling! It’s no small feat just to kick out of an Oswald pin! That’s 326 pounds to lift!"
Oswald grabs Junior by his hair and drags him to the corner. He corners Junior in the turnbuckle and drives his knee into Junior’s gut, again and again. The referee begins the 5 count… Of course, helpless to actually physically prevent Oswald from this attack because he’s incorporeal.
Still, at the count of 4, Oswald backs off Junior and steps back to the center of the ring… He sprints from the center to resume the attack with a shoulder tackle…
And Junior catches him with a leaping knee! Oswald gets caught on the chin and staggers backwards!
Junior takes advantage and springs up to the top rope! Oswald tries to go back on the offensive by charging the corner… Junior boots him in the face and catches him in a front-face lock! Then swings through the air and drives him headfirst to the mat! Swinging DDT!
Vinnie Lane: "Wow! These dudes are wasting no time rolling out high-impact moves!"
Junior tries to crawl into a pin… but Oswald is already rising to his knees, admittedly on a shaky pair of legs.
Vinnie Lane: "Oswald, not taking even a moment of recovery time to get his bearings!"
As Oswald shakes off cobwebs, Junior leaps onto the back of his neck from behind! He’s going for a reverse rana! He leans back!
...
Oswald resists through pure strength!
Vinnie Lane: "Yikes, Junior maybe overestimating just how woozy Oswald was after that last move!"
Junior is caught on top of Oswald now, trapped… Oswald takes a running start toward the ropes…
Junior grabs onto the top rope and twists his body! The leverage topples Oswald over the top rope… But he lands on his feet on the outside!
Vinnie Lane: "Bodacious feats of agility from both competitors!"
Junior still wrapped around the top rope, leaps onto the apron, his back to Oswald… He springs up to the middle and flips! SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT ONTO OSWALD!
Oswald, once again, immediately tries to get back up… but winds up sucking air on his back! Advantage Junior!
Junior grabs Oswald by the neck, barely dragging him back to his feet and rolls him into the ring…
He drops into a cover!
1!
2!!
OSWALD KICKS OUT!
Junior scratches his head, rising, considering his next move… Oswald starts stirring, trying to get back to a vertical base…
Both men stand at the same time. Junior punches!
It connects with Oswald’s jaw, but he’s still standing…
Another punch! Oswald swivels, his arm rotates to maintain his balance!
Junior winds up another big haymaker! He swings…
IT CONNECTS! Oswald falls backwards into the ropes…
HE REBOUNDS and connects with a running big boot!
Junior does a full 360 degree flip, landing on his face…
Oswald keeps shaking off cobwebs, but momentarily, has the advantage.
He stands over Junior and drops a knee straight into Junior’s chest, driving the oxygen out of his lungs!
A second!
A third!
Vinnie Lane: "Oswald, beating the life out of Junior here! Junior needs to take back control soon or this fight party is over!"
Oswald backs up to the ropes and goes for another knee drop to Junior’s skull!
...Junior rolls out of the way at the last second! Oswald grips his knee in pain!
Junior sprints back to the ropes and catches Oswald with a diving dropkick! Oswald gets propelled through the ropes and outside the ring… Again, landing on his feet!
Vinnie Lane: "Oswald, looking dominant out here! Junior has had difficulty just taking the Anarchy champion off his feet more than once or twice..."
Junior runs back to the ropes… Sprints across the ring! Then dives! He lands gripping Oswald’s neck, then pulls himself into a headscissors!
Junior and Oswald start spinning… Is this a tilt-a-whirl headscissors takedown?
Oswald… Through Sheer Strength, He Resists the Takedown! Junior and Oswald keep Spinning! Junior at first looked like he was in control and is now dangling for dear life...! Oswald’s feet get shaky, his spinning clearly taking a toll on his balance!
Three rotations!
Four rotations!
Five rotations!
Six rotations!
Vinnie Lane: "Who is driving this tilt-a-whirl? Something’s gotta give!"
Seven rotations!
Eight rotations!
Nine…
Nine?
NINE!
Just barely completing the ninth rotation, Oswald collapses backwards dizzily, with Edward Junior landing onto his chest…
Vinnie Lane: "Both these dudes are stubborn as hell! It’s hard to tell who got the better of that exchange, but it took a serious chunk out of both these hombres’ fuel tanks!"
Holoref Dot Gif begins the 10 count…
1!
2!
Edward Senior runs up to his exhausted son, still atop Big Money Oswald, he clubs Junior across the back!
“NO NAPS! FINISH MATCH!”
Junior scratches his back, and dizzily rises to his feet…
3!
4!
He starts walking… the wrong direction! Towards the crowd!
Edward Senior runs up to Junior and starts trying to spin him the right way!
Vinnie Lane: "Dude! Junior has no idea where he is right now!"
Oswald is still laying outside, finally starting to stir…
Junior, meanwhile, is crawling along the audience barrier trying to enter the crowd…
5!
6!
Senior finally just grabs Junior by his hair and flings him toward the ring! Junior hits the apron, pawing at the ring’s side…
Oswald manages to sit up. And get to one knee…
7!
8!
Senior shoves Junior under the rope!
9!
And at the last possible moment, Oswald dives into the ring beside Junior!
Holoref Dot Gif waves off the 10 count… The match resumes! The crowd applauds the fighting spirit of both these competitors!
Vinnie Lane: "Man! It seems like both these guys started this matching in Fifth Gear! It’s anybody’s game right now!"
Junior and Oswald both rise to their feet!
Junior punches Oswald! Oswald staggers back and goes for a clothesline!
Junior ducks it! Dropkick! Oswald takes on the chest and howls, still standing!
Junior dives against the ropes to build momentum!
Oswald delivers a dropkick of his own!, dropping Junior!
Vinnie Lane: "Insane!"
Oswald heaves Junior off the ground! He wraps him in a waistlock… GERMAN SUPLEX!
He maintains control of the waist, deadlifting Junior to his feet! SECOND GERMAN SUPLEX!
He refuses to release, working he and his opponent to their feet… Junior paws desperately to escape the grip! THIRD GERMAN SUPLEX!
Vinnie Lane: "He’s going for that Sextuple!"
He’s going for it… Number 4…
Holy cow! Edward Junior flips over Oswald’s back and locks in the rear-naked choke! NITE NITE!
Vinnie Lane: "It just might be Nite Nite time for Oswald!"
Oswald desperately shakes, rotating his body, trying to loosen Junior’s grip! But, Junior, running on pure adrenaline, holds on for dear life!
Oswald drops to one knee… He’s fading… He’s fading...
Then, out of nowhere, Oswald runs backwards into the turnbuckle!
Edward Junior gets smashed… but still hangs on!
Oswald takes a couple steps forward… Smashes backwards again!
Edward still hangs on!
Oswald collapses backwards… But Edward’s shoulders are on the mat!
Holoref Dot Gif counts!
1!
2!!
Junior rotates his body, forcing his shoulder up! And that shift is all Oswald needs to reach the ropes! The Holoref Dot Gif starts a count of 5, but Junior quickly releases the rear-naked choke!
Junior seems exhausted and puzzled. Oswald withstood his finishing move. Suddenly, he gets an idea! He rolls Oswald to the center of the ring. He slowly but surely climbs the top rope!
Junior climbs to the top! And delivers a double foot stomp! EDWARD SMASH!
The air knocked out of his lungs, Oswald seems completely out.
Edward crawls on top of him, laying backwards…
1!
2!!
THRNOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Oswald comes to life and locks in a Kirifuda Clutch!
Vinnie Lane: "The Billion Dollar Dream! He usually likes to do it after his sextuple german, but desperate times, dude!"
Oswald cranks the Kirifuda Clutch!
Junior fights, he scratches and claws for a way out…
His movements… gradually slow…
Until his arms fall slack…
Holoref tries to lift his arm once… Again, not possible because he’s incorporeal…
1!
Attempt 2… His hand goes completely through.
2!
Attempt 3!
…
…
NO RESPONSE!
3!!!
Winner: Big Money Oswald
Big Money Oswald tosses his opponent away… He immediately tries to sit up, but then ends up on one knee. Clearly, this battle took a bigger toll on him than he might have counted on.
Vinnie Lane: "A mondo impressive showing by Edward Junior here! No shame in coming up short against the Anarchy Champion! And for that matter, a very impressive showing by Money Oswald! Proving tonight, he’s a fighting champion, ready to take on any competitor!"
Big Preesh
- vs -
Elijah Martin
Referee: John X
Vinnie Lane: "Whoa, what a crazy opening to the show we just witnessed. But now we have to move on. This upcoming match is a clash between different worlds. The Bronx versus Booger Hole, West Virginia! The big city, versus b.f.e. Elijah Martin, versus the infamous Big Preesh."
Big Preesh struts to the ring throwing his hands up in the air in time with the music. He holds out the front of his BOB tee shirt and shouts about how much he loves being a part of the best group in pro wrestling. When he gets to the ring he punches the top turnbuckle like a speed bag and then shouts "YEAH BITCH!" with his arms raised before waiting for the bell to ring.
Vinnie Lane: "Big Preesh looking big confident here tonight!"
The lights on the entrance way go dark as "Blueprint 2" by Jay-Z begins... as the song reaches the 21-second mark and the beat drops, an explosion is heard and the stage lighting comes back up, revealing Elijah Martin standing at the top of the entrance way.
After about ten seconds of standing still to take in the crowd in the arena, Martin casually makes his way to the ring, yelling some random things at the crowd on the way.
He walks around to the hard cam side of the ring and hops onto the apron towards the end of the first verse of the song. When the song transitions into the chorus with the beat drop at the 1:25 mark, Martin raises both arms in the air and yells
"I'M THE KING, MOTHAFUCKAS!"
After a couple of seconds taking in the mix of cheers and boos, Martin steps into the ring and just paces around a couple of times before stopping at his corner and taking an ass bump to sit against the bottom turnbuckle.
Vinnie Lane: "I like this Elijah Martin dude. He shows a ton of promise. Also his five o'clock shadow goes all around his head!"
Referee John X, looking annoyed as usual, stands between Martin and Preesh and calls for the bell.
Preesh squalls out like an angry hog and bulrushes Martin with a lock up, pushing the beefy Bronx big man into the corner of the ring. Preesh pushes Martin up into the corn and chokes him, but Martin is one tough son of a gun. He fights through the choke and blasts his knee up into Preeshs’ gut.
Vinnie Lane: "Elijah Martin is a big man, but everyone looks small next to Big Preesh. It was impressive to see Martin fight out of that so easily."
Preesh cripples over and howls out from the knee strike, and while bent over, Elijah takes advantage, sending some well placed haymakers to Preesh’s temples.
BP stumbles back and Martin takes his turn bullrushing him. He pushes BP back into the opposite corner across the ring, leading him there with a series of knife edge chops across the chest.
BP stumbles back into the corner, his shirt partially ripped open and his chest purple from the chops. Martin’s hand looks red and swollen from the chops too. He closes his fist and begins a series of 10 consecutive short arm lariats into Preesh’s chest. The crowd counts along with each strike.
Preesh is starting to fall forward out of the corner, Martin goes to lift the big man, but nothing doing. The big man falls forward on Martin as he tries a belly to belly suplex.
Vinnie Lane: "Preesh has Martin pinned!"
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!
Martin is able to slide a shoulder up under Preesh who is just starting to catch his breath.
BP notices he has Martin down, and is ready to capitalize. BP goes for one of Ghost Tank’s moves, but Martin sends another strong knee into the big man’s stomach. BP cries out and goes for another choke, but Martin, still on his back, sends another knee, and another! BP is gasping for air and rolls off Martin.
Martin gets up to his feet and immediately dives onto Preesh, displaying his brawling skills and connecting clean forearms and fist strikes to the big man. Martin stands up and steps away to the corner of the ring, sizing Preesh up, waiting for him to stand.
Preesh rolls over onto his gut and labors his way up to one knee. Martin charges him just as Preesh finds his other leg. A huge running big boot from Martin!
The strike only staggered Preesh. Martin hits the opposite ropes, and connects flush with another running boot. Same result, except this time Preesh stumbles over into a set of ropes. Martin doesn’t stop sprinting after the boot and runs towards the ropes opposite Preesh, he springs off and charges again.
A third big boot rocks Preesh. The badass from Booger Hole is still standing though, swaying back and forth, seeing stars. Martin leverages into Preesh and whips him off of the ropes. Preesh’s run to the other side of the ring is slow and awkward. Martin springs from the ropes again, charging the now rebounding Preesh and…
Vinnie Lane: "Holy cow!"
Martin uses his momentum, snatches Preesh up, and LIFTS HIM!
Vinnie Lane: "An amazing belly to belly on the 650 pound Preesh!"
Martin covers!
1!
2!!
NO!!!
Preesh just gets a shoulder off of the mat! Martin rises from the pin, and immediately falls onto BP with a viscous elbow to the skull. The impact splits Preesh, his Cherokee blood spilling out and onto the mat. Martin rises again for another elbow, but Preesh squeals out again like a warthog and uses his main strength, his strength, to roll Martin over.
The big man is mounted onto Martin, choking the XWF newcomer. Martin again sends a knee at Preesh but the big man anticipates this one and scoots off from the mount, his knees now on the side of Martin. He starts slamming Martin’s head into the mat as he continues to choke down.
Martin’s arms fling from the impact and he swings up in desperation connecting with his swollen hand to Preesh’s nose. BP falls backward and Martin rolls over trying to catch his breath while favoring his battered hand.
Vinnie Lane: "Martin has great instincts as a brawler, and that’s exactly the remedy when being so undersized in a matchup like this one. But sometimes those brawling skills can cost you, right now it looks like Martin’s right hand is completely out of commission."
Martin stands up, still holding his hand, flinging it and trying to shake off the pain. He’s hunched over watching Preesh. Martin’s face turning angrier and angrier as Big Preesh reaches his feet. He charges the big man!
BUT PREESH MAKES AN ACROBATIC ROLL OUT OF THE WAY!
Vinnie Lane: "What did I just witness?"
Martin keeps running, he bounces off the ropes, sizes Preesh up again!
PREESH SWINGS WITH A GHOST TANK HAYMAKER!
BUT MARTIN!
Vinnie Lane: "The D.B.F!"
Elijah slides in, dodging the haymaker and bashes Preesh with a perfect running forearm to the back of Big Preesh’s skull!
BIG PREESH IS DOWN!
MARTIN COVERS!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Elijah Martin
Bianca McBride
- vs -
HGH
- vs -
Jack Inthebox Triple Threat! Referee: Chaz Bobo
Bianca McBride and Jack Inthebox both wait in the ring already as HGH struts to the ring. HGH looks REALLY confident... probably because he's the only one who got his entrance music played! Everyone is eyeing each other up as all star referee Chaz Bobo is getting ready to start the match.
Vinnie Lane: "Time to get rockin’ with this triple threat! I’m kinda stoked!"
HGH eyes up Bianca and Jack while they both do the same. Slowly they all begin to circle each other. Jack runs over and kicks HGH in the shin. He shoves Jack backwards and directly into Bianca who grabs him and hits a belly to back takedown then transitions into a modified cross face. HGH immediately breaks it up with a kick to the side of the head. He pulls Bianca to her feet and hauls her up for a powerbomb but she counters into a DDT then makes a quick cover.
1!
2!!
HGH throws Bianca off of him. He sits up and is drilled with a drop kick from Jack out of nowhere. Jack runs over and scales to the top rope. HGH rolls away and Jack shrugs in disappointment. Bianca runs up and hops up top with Jack and then brings him off with a huge overhead belly to belly suplex to the delight of the fans. No sooner does Bianca get back up HGH runs her over with a big clothesline. He continues running and bounces off the ropes then comes back and hits a splash onto Jack followed by a pin attempt.
1!
2!!
Broken up by Bianca!
Vinnie Lane: "Well this rager is off to the races!"
Bianca pulls HGH up this time and cracks him in the face with a forearm. He fires a punch back but she catches him with an arm trap neckbreaker. She gets back to her feet and goes and grabs hold of Jack now. She hauls him up in the air with a standing vertical suplex. Bianca displays her strength by holding Jack up there for almost a minute but then HGH barrels into both of them and all three competitors collapse to the mat. Bianca pushes herself up, seething and goes for a kick but HGH catches it then yanks her forward and drops her with a short clothesline.
Vinnie Lane: "The power of HGH might be a bit much for Bianca and Jack."
Jack gets back up and spins HGH around only to be met with a big headbutt. Jack stumbles back but HGH grabs him and pulls him up high, spins and hits a devastating spine buster. HGH stands up and roars while the crowd mostly boos him. He turns around and Bianca drills him with a running big boot that sends him reeling backwards into the corner. Bianca runs to the opposite corner and then races at HGH, going for another running big boot but he moves out of the way and she slams into the corner, her leg tangling into the middle ropes.
HGH now goes to the opposite corner while Bianca is trying to free up her leg. HGH rumbles over and hits a massive avalanche into the corner, squashing Bianca into it. She crumples to the mat with her leg still stuck in the ropes. HGH turns around as Jack is trying to pull himself back up. HGH walks over and scoops the dazed Jack up and hoists him over his head with a gorilla press. HGH walks around the ring slowly while holding Jack up there with ease. Finally he stops in the middle of the ring and brings Jack down with a vicious slam. He makes the cover while Bianca is still trapped in the corner.
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by pinfall, Harmon Grayson Hays!
Vinnie Lane: "Well that was quicker than a Def Leppard comeback attempt! Impressive win for HGH!"
Terry Borden
- vs -
Thias Watts Baltimore Street Fight!
Match takes place in an alleyway behind the arena, and the cops have all been told to not answer any 911 calls!
SPECIAL GUEST Referee:
THAT GUY THAT PLAYED BUBBLES ON THE WIRE!
Vinnie Lane: “This is the greatest thing ever, dudes! We got a guy straight off of the Wire… not the one that died last week, because then there’s no way we’d get our deposit back… but the OTHER guy. We got Borden. We got Watts. We got these Baltimore Streets… now it’s time to…”
A crewman walks up to Vinnie and hands him a note.
Vinnie Lane: “Uhh… wait, what? Terry called the Baltimore PD and said Thias was making him feel in danger for his life? Seriously? He went full Karen Borden?”
The crewman shrugs.
Vinnie Lane: “Show me the video feed!”
The camera cuts to out back behind the arena, where a bunch of squad cars have their lights flashing.
To one side is Borden, dressed in a Thin Blue Line variant of his usual Americanmania gear. A cop is rubbing his shoulders while another jogs up to give him a bottle of water. They all seem really concerned with his well being even though he doesn’t have a scratch on him.
Meanwhile on the other side, about twelve officers are repeatedly tazing, pepper spraying, and night sticking Thias Watts who lays motionless on the ground while all the cops keep shouting “STOP RESISTING!” over and over.
The scene cuts back to Vinnie, whose face has gone white.
Vinnie Lane: “Uhhhh… I’m just gonna declare the guy from the Wire to be the winner.”
Winner by Non-Refundable Deposit - Bubbles from The Wire
Vinnie Lane: “Anyway let’s go to a totally unrelated commercial…”
Sonya Benson
- vs -
Jax Hart X-Treme rules!
Referee: Virginia Hymen
Run It by DJ Snake hits the airwaves and Jackson Hart comes out from behind the curtain to the cheer of the crowd. Jax spends a few seconds at the top of the stage going from side to side playing to the adoring crowd before slowly walking down the entry ramp, slapping as many hands as he can. So ya, already in the ring holding a steel chair, watches him impatiently. Once Jax finally hits the ring he rolls under the bottom rope and again plays to the crowd before taking up residence in one of the ring corners as he looks over at Sonya.
Vinnie Lane: "Well duders and duderettes it seems Sonya Benson is eager to get to the extreme part of the match!"
The referee, “by the book” Virginia Hymen, calls for the bell and the match begins. Sonya screams out like a wounded banshee and charges at Jax with the steel chair. Jax somersaults out of the way as Sonya swings the chair with all her might. It hits the ropes instead and rebounds back, cracking her in the face. Jax hops over and drives his knee into her ribs. Sonya drops the chair and doubles over while Jax positions himself perfectly. He catches her by surprise and hits the Royal Flush spin out powerbomb onto the steel chair. Jax makes the cover as Virginia Hymen slides into position.
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by pinfall, Jax Hart!
Vinnie Lane: "Bogus! Sonya just blew it!"
Jackson Hart celebrates as Virginia Hymen raises his hand but it is cut off when Lights in the Sky hits and Marf begins making his way to the ring. The fans cheers for Jax have turned into very heavy booing as Marf walks around the ring and goes to the timekeeper to grab a microphone. Marf looks over and nods to Vinnie Lane at the announce table. Vinnie looks confused and a bit nervous.
Vinnie Lane: "Oh no…what is Marf doing out here?"
Before Vinnie can protest or react, Marf suddenly tosses him a bag of Doritos and a Dr. Pepper while smirking. Vinnie, still looking confused, gives Marf the horns before diving into those Doritos. Marf rolls into the ring while looking over to Sonya Benson who is trying to pull herself back up with the ropes and struggling. Jackson Hart is looking at Marf as he walks over to Sonya. Marf turns and looks over at him.
Piss off, this doesn’t concern you…
Marf turns his attention back to Sonya but Jax walks over to him. He goes to grab Marf but gets hit in the throat with the microphone instead. Jax stumbles back holding his throat and Marf turns and kicks him swiftly in the balls. Jax howls in pain but Marf just pulls him in and nails the Sway, knocking him out cold. Marf gets up and picks up the steel chair while Sonya is finally back on her feet. Marf looks at her and nods to the fallen Jax while extending the chair. Sonya reaches for it but Marf viciously swings it out of nowhere and cracks her across the skull.
Vinnie Lane: "What the what!? Why did Marf turn on Sonya? We’re going to need to help her out fast! Man these Doritos are addictive…"
Sonya crumples to the mat, a stream of blood beginning to leak from her hairline. Marf tosses the dented chair aside and drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring. He kicks the top half of the steel steps over before reaching into the ring and dragging Sonya out to the floor while a streak of blood stains the mat. Marf lies Sonya onto the bottom steel steps before turning around and lifting the top half of the steel steps over his head. Fans in the front rows gasp and scream as Marf brings the steel steps down and crushes Sonya’s head.
Marf tosses the upper steel steps aside and stares down at Sonya coldly. He slowly goes to the ring apron and reaches into the ring and grabs the microphone. Marf leans against the ring while staring down once more at what he’s done. Marf smiles proudly while the crowd boos him loudly.
Sorry Sonya, time's up. Guess we can’t work together anymore…for now why don’t you just focus on being able to walk again one day. And I’ll focus on bigger and better things…
Marf drops the microphone while staring at what’s left of Sonya in amusement. Marf kneels down beside Sonya’s unconscious body and lifts her head up. At this point her face and hair are covered in blood. Marf leans in and gives her a kiss on the forehead before dropping her head and laughing, blood dripping from his lower lip. The tardy but always hard working officials finally make their way out as Marf simply walks away laughing while the crowd rain boos upon him.
Vinnie Lane: "I can’t believe it dudes…I just can’t believe this at all…I ate the whole friggin' bag already. Not bodacious at all. Oh, and that’s probably the last time we see Sonya Benson, right…"
CONTRACT SIGNING!
ANARCHY COMMISSIONER DOLLY WATERS PRESIDES OVER THE SIGNING FOR THE RELENTLESS MATCH-UP PITTING CENTURION AGAINST GOD OF DEATH!!
Vinnie Lane: "Alright everyone, welcome back to XWF Anarchy. Coming up next we have a contract signing for a rivalry that has been brewing on this program for months. Standing by in the ring is our XWF Anarchy Commissioner, Dolly Waters."
The shot cuts to the ring where we see Dolly Waters standing against a desk that has been setup in the middle of the canvas. There’s a look of stoic concern creeping onto her twisting lips. Dolly shakes her head and pulls a microphone up to her mouth.
Hello XWF fans of Baltimore. What’s getting ready to transpire in this ring is the prelude to a match that I’m not sure I agree with… it’s not that I don’t understand the stakes involved between these two men, it’s that I’m genuinely concerned about their well-being.
I will go on record saying that while I disagree with such a sordid stipulation, it is my job as Anarchy Commissioner to give you fans, and these competitors the matchups they desire. Because sometimes the only way to resolve a conflict like the one these two men are starting down, is with a little bit of Raw Brutality!
So without further ado… allow me to introduce to you all, the former Anarchy Champion, the legendary Centurion!
Centurion's music hits and the XWF legend steps out from the back. He has no joy in his face, and is wearing a black suit. His eyes do not leave Dolly or the ring as he walks down the rampway. He walks up the ring steps and steps into the ring, and immediately goes to sign the contract, but Dolly puts her hand up to stop him and says "not yet". Centurion backs off and leans against the ring ropes, looking as if he wants to get this over with.
...and with that, allow me to introduce his opponent.
A man who loves misery and suffering.
A man who hates life, and laughs in the face of liberty.
A true monster, and down right horrible human being.
The GOVERNOR of the State of Florida…
THE GOD OF DEATH!
RON DESANTIS!
Only no music hits, Centurion is giving Dolly a most incredulous glare. Dolly looks confused and scurries to her note cards on the table…
Damnit, Lane! Did you change my notes?
Vinnie Lane: "I have no idea what she’s talking about..."
My apologies to everyone.
Keep everything I said, minus the Governor of Florida, though I do have a sneaking suspicion that these two might be related, and allow me to introduce…
THE GOD OF DEATH!
GIOVANNI DESANTIS!
"Five Finger Crawl" plays as the crowd immediately begins to shower the arena in boos. Out from the back steps Giovanni DeSantis, wearing a long, black trench coat. Flanking him are a young Asian man and the mysterious woman, hooded and robed. The three slowly walk down to the ring as the boo's of the crowd block out the sound of the song. GD reaches the ring and steps onto the apron, and his two minions go to do the same, but Dolly leans over the ropes and puts her hands out. She yells something at the two of them, then points to the back.
Vinnie Lane: "Dolly's banning the henchmen from ringside!"
The Asian man points at the ring and yells something back, but Dolly just shakes her head, and the two dejectedly turn and walk back up the ramp. Meanwhile, GD stands directly in front of Centurion and flashes a wicked smile. Centurion slaps the hood off of GD's head, causing GD to shove Centurion.
Now wait a second!
Dolly stamps her foot between the two men looking to tear each other apart.
We’re not doing this tonight. No raw brutality here tonight gentleman. This is XWF Anarchy, not bWo.
So if I could, PLEASE, get you two to sign this contract stating that you waive all medical and protection rights as XWF competitors, and that you agree to the terms laid out in the sanctioning of your match for Relentless.
Dolly hands the clipboard over to Centurion. He looks it over for a few seconds before quickly scribbling his name down and handing the contract back to Dolly.
Dolly hands the contract over to DeSantis,
DeSantis looks at the clipboard, and before he signs it, he grabs the mic out of Dolly's hand.
GD: When the sun has set on Relentless, I want you to remember who it was that made this a Raw Brutality match. I was not the one that made such a demand. It was you. As every drop of blood leaves your body, I want you to remember...this is all YOUR doing.
GD signs his name on the contract and tosses the pen over to Dolly. He then brings the clipboard back and goes to bash Centurion in the head with it, but Dolly quickly steps in between the two and snags the clipboard out of GD's hands.
GD angerly stares at Dolly, who does not back down and glares right back. GD flashes one last smile, and suddenly the lights cut. The crowd let's out an "ooo", but when the lights come back on, GD is nowhere to be found.
Centurion shakes his head, and leaves the ring as his music hits.
Vinnie Lane: "More mind games from DeSantis. Centurion doesn't really seem like himself. Is he letting his rival get into his mind before Relentless? Questions like these, and more will be answered at the biggest event in the wrestling world. The XWEF's own, Relentless Noir! We're sold out at all three locations, but be one of the millions at home streaming live on PPV to see Centurion finally get his hand on The God of Death, and so much more!"
Dolly looks annoyed and sits down at one of the chairs in the ring. She produces a Snickers bar and begins eating it as XWF Anarchy goes to commercial.
Latina Submission Machina
- vs -
Miss Fury
- vs -
Ruby
- vs -
Tommy Wish
- vs -
John Caedus
Gauntlet Match for the Number One Contendership!
At Relentless, Big Money Oswald has demanded he defend the Anarchy Title - but who will be the challenger???
Entrance into the gauntlet will be randomized and an algorithm will be applied to adjust scoring based on "fatigue" after advancing.
Referee: Ari Silverstein
Vinnie Lane: “Folks I hope you’re ready for our main event of the evening, because I sure am! We need an Anarchy Title contender for Relentless in two weeks… so what better way to do that then to pit a couple of the top names against a couple others who’ve had some big wins recently in a GAUNTLET MATCH?”
Vinnie mugs for the cameras as the crowd cheers.
Vinnie Lane: “You never know who’s going to come out on top in a match like this… not only are all of these competitors elite, skilled to the max, and overflowing with desire to become the face of the franchise… but they’ve got to deal with the random nature of the draw! It would take someone with superhuman ability to get through four matches back to back…”
Miss Fury steps out onto the ramp, clearly upset about being number one in the gauntlet.
Vinnie Lane: “Or maybe it’ll take a VILLAIN!”
Fury waves off Chris Page, who tries to walk her to the ring. She sneers at Vinnie Lane as she walks slowly to the ring, making sure to drill her piercing evil eyes right through him the whole way. She enters the ring and starts angrily kicking at the bottom rope.
Vinnie Lane: “No love lost from Jess, it looks like. Now, I bet she thinks I played the same games she’d have played in my position… but I can ASSURE you, that these entry orders were completely random! Besides, Miss F did me a solid last Anarchy… we’re all good now! I’d never intentionally screw her over.”
The camera catches Fury as the music hits, shouting “FUH-” right as the shot switches away to the entrance ramp.
The crowd goes bonkers as the former three-time Anarchy Champion appears at the top of the ramp. Two spotlights, one yellow and one green, converge on the ring. Ruby then waves to the crowd and takes off in a sprint, hopping up to the apron and then front flipping over the top rope. She lands in a superhero pose in the middle of the ring
Vinnie Lane: “Just to reiterate… this was TOTALLY RANDOM and NOT my idea. That said… GO GET ‘ER, RUBES!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
Fury once again shoots an angry grimace towards Vinnie at ringside as Ari Silverstein calls for the bell. Ari gives Fury a big wink but Fury isn’t in the mood for it and once again gets her mouth blurred out from the telecast to protect the underage fans of Anarchy from deciphering the rude, crude, and for some reason antisemitic comments from the XWF’s resident villain.
Ari looks genuinely hurt and caresses the star of David hanging around his neck before standing aside so Ruby and Fury can square off for what feels like the ten thousandth time.
Ruby slaps her shoulders and locks up with Fury, who screeches and does her best to push back against her arch nemesis. Ruby looks strong, maintaining a low center of gravity and keeping her leverage while Fury tries to knock her back. Fury drops to a knee and slips around behind Ruby, locking in a rear waist lock and dragging the Blur down onto her banana lime belly. Fury spins out and around and grabs Rubes by the chin, then flips over her into a last chancery!
Ruby struggles and fights, eventually making her way over to the bottom rope and getting a break, but comes up looking like her neck is feeling the wear and tear from the hold. Fury comes in hot looking for a clothesline but Ruby ducks it and hooks Fury up from behind, drilling her rival with a chaos theory suplex!
Vinnie Lane: “Bad neck or not, Ruby is always dangerous! These two know each other better than just about anyone, too, so those big moves are hard to come by clean!”
Ruby follows through with the suplex by back rolling over Fury and using her legs to hooks Fury’s… one back bend later and Ruby has the BOB leader pinned in a bridge!
1!
2!!
Fury powers out!
Vinnie Lane: “Great pinning combination by Anarchy’s Sweetheart Ruby, but Miss Fury said not today!”
Miss Fury is up quicker than Ruby expects and sends her to her knees with a kick to the midsection. Fury then locks in a facelock and pulls Ruby up… swinging neckbreaker! Ruby grabs at her neck as Fury leans over the top rope to shriek at the fans in Baltimore.
Fury turns around into a backslide!
1!
2!!
Ruby points at the ropes… she’s showing Ari Silverstein that Miss Fury has her foot on the rope!
Silverstein breaks the count and Ruby gives him a thumbs up for calling it correctly.
AND GETS DROPPED WITH A LEAPING NECKBREAKER!
Vinnie Lane: “Miss Fury has really zeroed in on Ruby’s neck, which, legend has it, Ruby has an extra cervical vertebra. I can’t confirm or deny that, but that’s the rumor, dude!”
Miss Fury gets to one knee behind Ruby and applies a wrenching chin lock, dragging Ruby down onto her side as she applies more and more pressure onto the hold.
Ruby stretches her legs as far as she can and nearly gets her toes onto the bottom rope, but Miss Fury spots it and drags Ruby further away. She presses Ruby face first into the canvas and holds her down by the back of the head, then does a handstand and comes crashing down with a knee right to Ruby’s neck.
Ruby wails and tries to squirm away, but Miss Fury mounts Ruby’s back and then sinks in a deep rear naked choke! Fury wrenches as hard as she can on Ruby’s neck, and Ruby’s face goes beet red from the blood restriction as well as just the pain from the focus on her weakened neck.
Vinnie Lane: “Ruby’s in a really bad spot folks! The Super Dear’O can’t possibly handle this kind of pain for long…”
Ari Silverstein gets in close to see if Ruby loses consciousness, ready to call for the bell. Ruby kicks and flails her arms, but soon she slows, and her hands droop down onto the canvas.
Ari Silverstein grabs Ruby’s hand and lifts it, then lets it go…
It drops!
But then Ruby somehow finds the strength to roll backwards, kicking her legs up over her head and pinning Miss Fury’s shoulders down!
Ari drops down for a count!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Vinnie Lane: “Ruby survives! WOW!”
Eliminated by Pinfall - Miss Fury
In the ring, Fury is livid! She attacks Ari Silverstein and lays him out with a lariat, then crams her fingers down his throat, locking on the Scream For Mercy!
Referee Chaz Bobo runs down to the ring as Fury lets go and rolls out of the area, heading to the back as Bobo checks on Silverstein.
Meanwhile, Ruby has still not managed to get herself off of the mat, still cradling her wounded neck after all the damage she took from Miss Fury.
Vinnie Lane: “Miss Fury may not have made it through this gauntlet but she left her mark either way… I guess she fired Ari from the bWo! We’ve got a new referee in position, though, now all we need is Ruby’s next opponent…”
Vinnie Lane: “Uh oh…”
Darkness washes throughout the arena and "End of Line" by Daft Punk begins to play. In sync with the beat, spotlights flash on and off with silver filtered illumination; John Caedus steps from behind the curtain and makes his way to the ring with purpose and murderous intent, ignoring the fans completely. Stepping up onto the apron, he swings a leg over the top rope and enters the ring.
Chaz Bobo checks on Ruby who has gotten up into a sitting position in a corner. Ruby nods and gives a thumbs up, so Chaz Bobo calls for the bell!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Caedus looks tentative, since Ruby is already in bad condition. Ruby, though, fights her way to her feet and puts her dukes up, telling John Caedus to bring it on!
Caedus flattens Ruby with a shoulder tackle!
Vinnie Lane: “Ruby’s got no evasiveness or speed, her neck is too beaten up! Ruby at 100% would have dodged that move easily!”
Caedus clubs Ruby across the back and she drops to her knees again. Caedus then pulls Ruby up to her feet… and Ruby executes a dazzling standing drop kick that wobbles Caedus!
Ruby comes up gripping her neck, though, and then she hits the ropes… and the whiplash on her neck clearly makes her wince and slow down a step!
Caedus sends a big boot right into Ruby’s gut and folds her over… POWERBOMB ON RUBY!!!
Vinnie Lane: “Ruby took all of that impact right on her neck, dude! That was nasty!”
Ruby is a heap on the mat with Caedus telling the ref to check on her. Chaz Bobo does but Ruby shakes her head and waves him off, and Bobo lets Caedus know that the match has to continue.
Ruby struggles to her feet and lunges at Caedus, grabbing him in a lockup. Caedus quickly overpowers Ruby, though, and soon lifts her over his head in a suplex… but he holds it… and holds it… and holds it… until FINALLY dropping her into a brainbuster!
Caedus motions for the ref again, but once more Ruby waves him off.
Vinnie Lane: “Ruby will NEVER give up… but she might should maybe sorta kinda consider it! She could be really hurt!”
Ruby crawls toward Caedus and grabs him by the knee pads, trying to pull herself up. She once again gives a burst of energy and executes a backflip kick!
But Caedus is able to step back and away as Ruby’s speed is still massively hindered.
Ruby lands on her chest and Caedus then grabs her and yanks her to her feet and then lifts her up… RUNNING POWERBOMB INTO THE CORNER!!!
Vinnie Lane: “He calls that the Harbinger’s Call! Ruby’s head really whipped backward on that impact!”
Ruby’s eyes roll back into her head and she lands awkwardly on the canvas, trembling and convulsing.
Chaz Bobo rushes in and checks on Ruby agan, and this time he quickly turns to the timekeeper and waves off the match!
Winner by Referee Stoppage - John Caedus
Vinnie Lane: “This is the right call by the official. Ruby was in no condition to continue after all that damage to her neck… we have to look out for our performers’ best interests even when they would rather fight til the death!”
Medics show up to the ring to help Ruby out and to the back. Centurion is out there as well checking on the love of his life.
Chaz Bobo and John Caedus watch on as Ruby is tended to, then they step into their positions and wait for the next entrant to arrive.
Vinnie Lane: “Here comes the Billion Dollar Champion, the Latina Submission Machina!”
"Salió El Sooooollll"
Green and red pyrotechnics shoot up about five feet in the air on either side of the entrance platform as Latina Submission Machina pops out of the tunnel. The masked wrestler bounces around just outside the tunnel for a moment, her red hair flipping from side to side. She crouches slightly and begins overhead clapping along to the music as she steps forward. Some of the crowd begins to clap along as the luchadora descends down the entrance ramp. The latinx music continues to blast through the speakers as the woman in the green and red wrestling outfit rolls beneath the bottom rope and into the squared circle.
"La pistola, chambonea"
The crowd begins to clap along to the rhythm of the music with greater enthusiasm as Latina Submission Machina performs a modest belly dance in the middle of the ring. Moments later Latina Submission Machina quickly breaks away and starts running the ropes of the ring, testing out the squared circle and getting a feel for it's qualities. Content with it's fitness, the luchadora grabs a hold of the ropes and comes to a controlled halt. She turns to the referee and tells them she's ready to go. The luchadora heads to the corner as instructed and begins rolling her shoulders and neck, stretching in preparation for the coming battle.
Vinnie Lane: “Mamacita Machina is bound and determined to go up against Big Money Oswald and take another title from him!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
Chaz Bobo starts this match and John Caedus wasters no time charging across the ring at top speed looking for a big clothesline!
LSM flattens to her belly and then takes Caedus down with a drop toe hold, rolling over his back and applying a side headlock while still horizontal on the mat.
Caedus powers up to his knees, then lifts LSM up and drops her in a back suplex!
NO!
La Machina rolls through and lands on her feet, and quickly applies a headscissor on the mat. She squeezes her powerful thighs on Caedus’ head and neck, but the big man once again manages to roll over and get the leverage back, this time pulling LSM up off the mat and into a listed powerbomb position!
LSM scrambles down behind Caedus’ back and locks a body scissor on, then applies a sleeper!
Vinnie Lane: “Latina Machina is putting on a clinic of how to subdue a bigger opponent! She’s using quickness and leverage to neutralize the massive size differential!”
Caedus lets out a roar after struggling in the sleeper for a few moments. He runs backward into the buckles, but LSM slips off just before the impact and Caedus ends up drilling his own spine into the corner.
Caedus falls onto his butt and LSM takes a running start from across the ring… double knees to the face!
Machina pulls Caedus out of the corner by his foot and then moves to his side, grabbing his wrist and falling back in an armbar!
NO WAY!
Caedus manages to link his hands just before LSM falls back, and she can’t get the arm extended!
Caedus rolls over and pulls LSM off of the mat, and this time he makes sure to move fast enough that LSM can’t counter… running powerbomb from Caedus!
Vinnie Lane: “I think I felt the ground shake!”
Caedus holds on for a pinning combination and Chaz Bobo hits the mat!
1!
2!!
Kickout from the Latina Submission Machina!
Caedus pulls LSM up by the hair and leans back into the ropes, rebounding with a big running clothesline - but LSM hops up and hooks his arms in a crucifix, trying her damndest to pull him backward into a pin…
NO DICE!
Caedus steadies himself and drops backward in a modified Samoan drop, staying on top of LSM and hooking a leg for good measure!
1!
2!!
Shoulder up!
Caedus slaps the mat in frustration but quickly gets to his feet, pulling LSM up by the hair once again.
IMANARI ROLL FROM LSM!
La Machina takes Caedus down and grabs his foot in a deep heel hook, and Caedus grimaces in pain. She has it on tight and manages to maintain her grip even when Caedus tries to shove her off with his other foot, and Caedus has no choice but to drag himself backwards until he can reach the bottom rope for a break.
Vinnie Lane: “Great submission attempt by LSM right there, folks. If John Caedus was a smaller man, I’d say that would have been the end of the match right there!”
Caedus gets the break and is back up quickly, though he walks gingerly on the foot LSM had in her heel hook. LSM doesn’t want to waste time and keeps the pressure on, walking up Caedus’ torso with a step-up enzuigiri!
CAEDUS CATCHES LSM BY THE FOOT!
Now it’s Caedus’ turn to demonstrate his tactical submission prowess, as he practically has LSM’s foot turned around backwards in an ankle lock!
LSM screams in pain and tries to pull her way toward the ropes but can’t move the bigger opponent anchoring her in place. Her eyes turn to slits behind her luchadora mask, and she even raises a hand a few inches off the mat, looking like she’s about to tap out…
LSM desperately contorts her body until she can reach her trapped ankle, and she starts yanking at the strings on her wrestling boot…
LSM pulls her bare foot free from the boot! Caedus is left dumbfounded, staring at an empty boot as LSM hops around on one foot, rubbing a swollen ankle.
Vinnie Lane: “Oh geez dude don’t tell me we’re going to see another injury stoppage here tonight… La Machina’s ankle is turning purple!”
Caedus isn’t waiting to find out. He barrels into LSM after tossing the boot aside and knocks her to the mat. He then drags her into powerbomb position and lifts her up for his patented dominator variant, the BROKE!
WAIT!
Caedus stops the move in mid air for some reason, and his knees start to wobble…
LSM has a gogoplata locked in on John Caedus!
Caedus loses his balance and goes down to his knees, allowing LSM to squeeze the gogoplata even tighter, pulling Caedus’ head forward with both hands as her shin digs into his windpipe.
LSM lets out a warrior’s howl as she arches her back, trying to put even more pressure onto the hold, but Caedus stubbornly refuses to tap out… he just stays on his hands and knees trying to weather the storm…
Until he falls forward, unconscious!
Chaz Bobo checks Caedus and then waves his arms, ending the contest. He pulls on LSM’s legs until she lets go of the gogoplata and lets Caedus slump over onto his side.
Winner by Submission - Latina Submission Machina
Vinnie Lane: “What an incredible match! I am certain these two are going to see each other again in the future… but tonight belongs to the technical prowess of the Latina Submission Machina… and, of course, her one remaining opponent…”
The lights start flickering in the arena, and we see smoke blowing out from the stage, and we see Tommy coming out in a light jacket with the hoodie on his head. He then comes out, and he does some shadow boxing on the stage. Then he walks down to the ramp, and he looks at the fans and gives them all a fist bump as he's walking down. Then he slides into the ring, and stands in the middle of the ring poses to the crowd as his theme fades off.
Vinnie Lane: “Here comes one of the true originals for XWF Anarchy… the Warden of Wikifeet, Tommy Wish!”
Tommy stares down LSM from his corner as she gets her ankle checked by Chaz Bobo. Bobo seems satisfied by her status and he calls for the bell!
DING! DING! DING!!!
LSM limps out from her corner with one bare foot, and Tommy can’t peel his eyes away from it.
Tommy locks up and muscles LSM into a corner, then cracks a hard chop across her chest that knocks the wind out of her. He then drapes her bootless leg over the second rope and takes a step back, then kicks the rope hard! LSM grabs at her swollen ankle and falls to the mat and Tommy walks in a circle pointing at his dome because he’s so damn crafty.
Wish puts one foot on LSM’s good leg and pulls the other up straight, then falls backward until LSM is in a full splits, snapping her hamstring with a wishbone!
Vinnie Lane: “Did anyone else see Tommy give Latina’s foot a quick sniff before that move? Can we get a replay?”
No replay happens but you know he did it. Anyway, Tommy stomps the bejeezus out of LSM before dragging her all the way from one side of the ring to the other and then placing her wounded leg across the bottom rope. Tommy then steps up and off the second rope and comes down hard with his backside hitting LSM right behind the knee, bending her leg in an ungodly position.
LSM wails and crawls away, but Tommy is on her in a flash. He gathers her up from behind and pulls her up to a vertical base… atomic drop onto La Machina, and she ends up hopping off into the corner while grabbing at her tailbone.
Wish comes flying in with a splash but LSM drops off to the side and Wish eats the turnbuckles!
Backstabber from LSM!
LSM rolls onto Wish’s back and tries to grab him in an armbar, but she can’t get hold of him. She settles on locking in a guillotine choke, but Tommy doesn’t just sit there and get choked out - he lifts his foe up off the mat and drops her abdomen first across the top rope, breaking the hold!
Vinnie Lane: “Smart move from Wish! Now he’s got LSM out on the apron!”
Tommy rushes LSM but she drops down and pulls the top rope down, causing Tommy to go over… but he lands on his feet! That son of a bitch has balance like a stray cat on its last life!
LSM is snared and has the back of her head sent backward into the ring post with a vicious running STO from Wish, and then he shoves her right back through the ropes into the ring.
Tommy Wish climbs to the top rope!
Wish leaps from the top with a double ax… LSM puts a foot up!
The bad one!!!
And Tommy lands on his feet, grabbing the injured object of his deepest desires… and LSM holds her hands up while on her back, begging off of Wish. She starts saying something to him over and over.
Vinnie Lane: “I think she’s saying… besos? Besos? Someone tell me what that means?”
But Tommy seems to fully understand… he stops his attack and instead brings LSM dainty foot up to his lips! He kisses her little toes and then licks his lips.
LSM nods in approval from the mat and then pulls herself up, getting into a seated position in a corner, sitting on the second buckle. She beckons Tommy, holding her foot out to him as his eyes glaze over.
Vinnie Lane: “I don’t like this one bit.”
Tommy gets down on one knee, opens his mouth… and sticks all five of LSM’s toes into it!
The man is in heaven!
AND THEN LSM DROPS HIM WITH A JUMPING KNEE STRIKE TO THE TEMPLE!
Tommy Wish is on his back, and Latina Submission Machina pounces, leaping onto him and clutching his wrist before falling back with a fully applied Fujiwara armbar… and Wish immediately starts tapping!!!
Winner by Submission and Number One Contender to the Anarchy Championship - LATINA SUBMISSION MACHINA
Vinnie Lane: “LSM did it! She tricked Tommy with the one thing he can’t resist, and she’s become the challenger for Ozzy’s title at Relentless… all on one leg! WOW!”
LSM limps to the center of the ring as her theme plays, and Chaz Bobo holds her arm up as the winner of the gauntlet.
Vinnie Lane: “That’s it tonight from Baltimore, kids! I’ll see you at RELENTLESS!”
Anarchy fades from the airwaves as LSM happily celebrates in the ring.
SPECIAL THANKS:
Centurion
Dolly Waters
GoD
Marf
Mark Flynn
Jordan Knoxville
The following 8 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post:8 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post (09-17-2021), ALIAS (09-18-2021), Dolly Waters (09-17-2021), JimCaedus (09-17-2021), Marf (09-18-2021), Miss Fury (09-18-2021), Mr. Oz (09-17-2021), Tommy Wish (09-17-2021)
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
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