Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Lacklan · (03-31-2019)

Hey there! Ashley Allen again, So, TECHNICALLY, my little “break” from being the personal assistant to both of the Grey-Lacklans is at an end, as I report back to work full time on Monday, but I have a little more time to make EVERYONE happy! You see, my inbox has been FLOODED with request for ONE MORE batch of comparisons, and while I hadn’t intended on doing any more, bosslady basically wanted to take the rest of the day off after her...lets go with less than successful...driver’s test today.

One last time!

- #CoolRankings, in association with Dark Goddess Productions, presents -

The Final Four of the King of the Ring Tournament represented as:

Candy Bars

Sar: Snickers - Because they nailed that perfect combination of salty, sweet, and chocolatey, plus both creamy and crunchy texture, and are the KING of what a candy bar should be.

Lux: Pay Day - By contrast, you take one big bite of a Pay Day, your mouth gets all dry, and you really need a glass of water. You set it down and don’t bother taking another bite.

Game Girl: Hershey Bar - I mean, it’s tasty and all, but you move past it after you’re, like, six.

Dolly: PBMax bar. Bitches are DEAD!

The Final Four of the King of the Ring Tournament represented as:

Disney Princesses

Sar: Rapunzel - Magical hair that glows and not only the BEST modern princess, arguably has the best movie EVER.

Lux: Snow White - Has anyone ever watched any scene with her a second time? Ever?

Game Girl: Aurora - Only palatable because of the adorable fairies and badass villain.

Dolly: Pocahontas - Bitched dies of smallpox in the Old World! LOVE the sequel!

The Final Four of the King of the Ring Tournament represented as:

Holidays

Sar: Christmas - People give gifts, get along, spread cheer and joy, and its to celebrate the birthday of the person who saved all of mankind!

Lux: Black Friday - A pretend holiday that you go to one time, see how fucking stupid it all is, and never go again.

Game Girl: Valentine’s Day - Completely manufactured and a FUCKING WASTE OF TIME because FUCK that guy who stood me up this year. Fuck him IN THE ASS

Dolly: Columbus Day - Quickly losing its acceptance, which means the bitch is dead!

The Final Four of the King of the Ring Tournament represented as:

Breakfast Cereals

Sar: Honey Nut Cheerios - LIterally everyone’s favorite and go-to, a perfect balance of sweet and healthy.

Lux: Franken Berry - Jesus CHRIST that shit is disgusting. Can you even get through the first bite?

Game Girl: Honey Smacks. Unnecessarily sweet, literally a full 60% of its calories comes from sugar.

Dolly: Urkel-O’s - Created for the WORST character in television history, this bitch is DEAD

The Final Four of the King of the Ring Tournament represented as:

Hair Metal Bands (Special Guest vlogger: Vinnie Lane)

Sar: Guns n’ Roses - Dude

Lux: White Lion - Dude.

Game Girl: Winger - Dude.

Dolly: All of Glam Metal - Dude.

BIG shout-out to the bossman for that RIVETING and IN-DEPTH analysis! Well, that’s all from me, folks. It has been a LONG couple of weeks for everyone, and I’m sure we’re all looking forward to a little time off. Enjoy March Madness! Especially when my boss raises the King of the Ring trophy into the air!

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode #FuckDollyVer4
Author	Message