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Kuda · (03-29-2019)

"That trap couldn't have worked better even if we put a fleshlight molded from a little boy's anus inside a bear trap by a big, neon sign that read 'undeserved egos only.'

The Dollar Store Drew Archyle finally decided to open his mouth, and even with the bar set impossibly low he somehow managed to slither underneath it. There's no point in wasting time or energy on addressing someone whose career ceiling is being the sobbing boyfriend in the background of a cuckold video. May as well change his name to Justin Seminate-my-girlfriend.

Kid Kool has come out from hiding to show all of us the dangers of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. It takes true developmental stunting to cause a grown man to speak in emoticon, every time he opens his mouth he's basically narrating a teenage emo girl's Xanga posts. Might we suggest that the next time you go in front of that camera, Kool, that you do so while listening to 'Last Resort' and butt chugging a bottle of chloroform. The fact that you haven't ended your mistake of an existence is an affront to humanity, you are beyond redemption. Kuda is going to treat you like polio does an unvaccinated child.

John Rogan...Jesus fuck, man! It's like someone sauteed hippo shit in hobo urine and used them for your gray matter and cerebral fluid. At what point in your day do you think its a good idea to step in front of a camera and decide you want the whole world to look at you with the same pity they would a Make-A-Wish child talking about growing up? Do you honestly think Kuda and I are going to drag our asses in front of a camera every time you have a linguistic abortion? We don't care about promoting this match because it's not one that should be promoted; you five don't have a chance in hell of walking out of the arena with Kuda's title, to call this match a formality is putting it lightly. If you weren't too busy trying to get Kuda to massage your uvula with his dick you'd see that ya big, creepy queer. We get it, every time Kuda gets on camera your nipples get all tingly and your asshole gets 3 fingers up to the knuckle, but your mancrush is gonna end at March Madness when Kuda stomps you to death like Brandon Teena.

Could someone please pinpoint the moment that just being adequate stopped being a junior college requirement and started being a personality trait to be celebrated? Ned Kaye is so proud to regurgitate what little he remembers from his 9th grade psychology class and then pass it off like it's a Sun Tzu approved war strategy. Ned Kaye has what every vanilla, boring ass white dude in America wants: A platform where he can hide the fact that he isn't the best by celebrating the idea that he's just not the worst. Aiming for second place? Fucking pathetic."

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Still not even trying.
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