Since the day I walked out of Vinny Lane's office with the ink still wet on my new XWF contract, people in the halls have whispered the name "Cadryn Tiberius" to me as if it's one to be feared. The name "Cadryn Tiberius" echoed in my head with the same weight of the truly elite.

"He's a double champion" they had told me.

"He's beaten the Legends" they had exclaimed.

Then I found out this Brokeback Bitch beat Barney Green and thinks that means something for his legacy, and the two title belts he holds along with a $1.09 will get you something off the McDonalds dollar menu. Cadryn, I did some research on your Achey Brakey Ass and I'd be lying if I said I was impressed. Let's move past the fact that your name sounds like a rejected Star Trek character, the fact that you're an ITALIAN. COWBOY. FROM WEST VIRGINIA. which makes about as much sense as the promos you release each week. Let's forget the mullet, and the hunk of food in your teeth in those promotional banners all over the XWF website. Let's ignore the fact that you need to have Jesus Take the Wheel and drive you to the gym for some overtime, because your emmaciated ass is allowing your AIDS to show again, and let's even look past the fact that you claim to be 31 but look every bit of 55 you shot-out, dehydrated, sleep deprived relic...

Let's look past ALL of that, as hard as it may be to do, and let me ask you a question; do you really want to be respected around here? Do you really want to be a name that means something to the new guys coming in? Well, maybe... just maybe... you should kick the fuck out when Jody Madrox pins you for the Heavy Metalweight belt. Double Champion is the only thing you had going for you dummy, and now you're about to be beltless. I can't speak for Jody, but I can promise you that you're not getting this one back.

Find a plan B, Cadryn. Take the 'L', get one last look at your belt, and kick rocks. I promise you that opening your mouth and coming back for me wont end well. This was a warning shot. This was me pinning you...

1.

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Don't make me deliver a knockout blow.
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Aw, well ain't you cute!

That mask finally answers the age old question.

Will enough bukkake appaearances actually cause permanent facial damage?

Looks like it does.

When is the last time you beat a legend? Oh wait, your some type of mystery man, some asshole who wants us to believe he's been on Lane's cock longer than the herpes he got from Roxy. Nobody gives a shit about you, or your mysterious personality. You ain't worth the breath you waste bad mouthing a legend like me. Good job on the Star Trek reference considering I very recently pointed that out in my own work. If you're going to waste that much time, then just let me write your material for you, seeing as your recycling mine anyways.

And as for looking old, yeah, you right.

Laying pipe day in and day out has that effect on a man, I understand you wouldn't know much about tight skin though. You haven't been tight since your uncle fucked you. I couldn't give a shit less about your respect for me. The last person that said they didn't respect me was Chris Chaos and I beat that motherfucker like he stole something. All he knows now is respect for a man of my caliber. You're out of your league, Nate. Whether you're new school, or old school, you're shit regardless. Oh and to clarify, I lost to Chaos. But he knows what I'm capable of.

I'm a God among men here in the XWF, which is my my face adorns pretty much anything important.

Go get my McChicken, and don't fuck my order this time, scrub.

Cadryn kicks out.

You're a legend? YOU'RE a legend?! Your record is 7-6-1 you inbred hillbilly, you're literally .500 and from what I can gather it took every ounce of jaw strength you had to suck your way to that middle. You're cute, cum jokes to the guy in the mask, I get it... you can't be bothered to be creative and you don't have the intellect to do some research, so I'll give you a peek behind the curtain. I have 90 XWF wins. 90. Let that rattle around your empty skull, blow what mind you have left, and let the dust settle.

So take your 7 wins, and lets give you the other 7 matches as courtesy wins. Now multiply that by three, double it again, and you still can't touch me. Don't insult this company by calling yourself a legend. You beat Barney Green and question my resume? I beat Steve Jason, homeboy. Heard of him? You guys have him ranked as the greatest star in the history of the company. I beat him. I beat Shane . You ever heard of him? I beat him clean on the logo he now holds the rights to, and you want to question me? I've beat Cyren, Killjoy, Blizzard, Chasm, Barney Green and Peter Gilmour more times than you've finished on your cattles back, and I've won titles you only catch glimpses of when Jim Caedus carries them past you in the hallway.

I told you to take the 'L', Cadryn. I told you not to respond to me, or else you'd end up in a world of hurt, and what did you do? You fucked up. You came back at me with weak shit about how you fuck a lot and I'm a , but if fucking the chicks you do makes you look the way you look, I gotta say... I'd rather be a .

Don't try intimidating me by telling me about matches you lost.

Don't throw out some tired gay and incest jokes then profess to be some verbal mastermind when I tell you your name is .

This pin isn't over. I'm winning a title today, I promise you that. It's up to you how much cardio you want to showcase before flaming out.

First.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

That's all you've got? Phew, and here I thought this might actually be a challenge.

" I have 90 XWF wins. 90. Let that rattle around your empty skull, blow what mind you have left, and let the dust settle. "

Tell me more about the wins you probably don't have, it must be fun to manifest an entire career out of thin air like that and think that it actually has some merit!

You beat Steve Jason? I highly doubt it. I love how you continue to tell me about your greatness and how amazing you are, when all I see is your brand new little 1-0 record against some other scrub that didn't have the type of mind to combat you like I do. If you're such a goddamn allstar, why you wearing a mask, pussy? You wanna step to me and talk to me about how fucking great you are? Take off the fuckin mask and show me who you are. Show me the legend you claim to be and show me the man behind the mask. You want my respect? You'll fuckin earn it like everyone else has.

Didn't you say something about being creative and not using tired, old incest/gay jokes?

You just called me inbred, you fuckin' tit. You can't even heed your own advice.

Like I said, you either prove to me you're worthy of a victory over me, or get steppin, scrub.

You can create a whole goddamn universe based around your "90" wins here in the XWF, but from what I gather, you're just another wannabe Cadryn looking to make a name for himself, and that isn't going to happen here.

I am a legend.

I'm the reason these people watch our shows.

And I'm the most respected man in the locker room today.

A real legend wouldn't run around in a mask with his pussy hanging out like you do.

So if anyone is disrespecting the word, it's you, my friend.

Cadryn, I admire you for trying... I really do. There are a few things about this whole exchange that seem to be going over your head, though.

You are what is considered "light work". You have nothing to do with the reason I've been brought back to the XWF, nothing to do with why I'm "hiding" behind the mask, and have no factor in me taking it off no matter how hard you try. Vinny Lane doesn't want me talking to you and if I were to tell you my name, as satisfying as it might be to pop the eyes out of your skull, he'd flip his lid and this entire thing would be put into jeopardy. A real legend wouldn't hide behind a mask? A real legend does whatever the hell he needs to do for the good of the company, for the good of the fans, and sometimes for the good of himself. I can't fault you for not understanding the concept of "big picture". An ant doesn't know it's an ant.

Let me tell you what a legend doesn't do.

A legend doesn't hear a man give him fair warning, and laugh it off. A legend hears something like '90 wins' and knows its time to get to work. A legend hears 'I beat Steve Jason' and gets on google to look up how many men did that. A legend knows that barking "prove it" and "reveal yourself to be taken seriously!" won't mean shit when you wrap up with me and feel what 90 wins feels like. A legend does all of that no matter what because if it wasn't necessary then they still will, but if they don't do it and lose? Well, like I said, a legend doesn't do that.

The powers that be know who I am under this mask, and soon everyone else will too... and you're going to look stupid, Cadryn. Not because you're a hillbilly, not because you're inbred, but because you didn't realize I AM proving myself, and I AM earning it. I'm just using you to prove it to everyone else. I am the man that made the XWF you love. Every win you have you can thank me for, and every dollar in your bank account you can cut me a commission from... but I'll start with that 16 pounds of gold on your waist.

Oh, and I know you need ratings help but don't imply you're writing my material and then directly quote me in your shit. Pin bitch.

Again, I say..

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

You admire me for trying? Aw, kitten, let's be realistic. You admire me for a whole lot more reasons then that. You admire me for being the man you knew you could never be. You admire for being the #1 top rated superstar in the XWF right now, and you admire me because I am the best. I mean, yeah, I guess I could take you for your word, and actually believe the bullshit you're spewing. Also, for the record, I'm just as old school as you, partner. My daddy was here and I was along for the ride. So when you sling names at me, like Steve Jason, Cyren, etc, I know these names, and I respect them. But, I will not respect a man that doesn't have enough respect for me to tell me his real name. To show me the talent he exclaims he has, to actually give me everything he's got. I've got a ton of losses and they don't mean a damn thing to me, because I lost to men who respect the game, and respect what I've done.

I never said a word about being the reason for your return, or the reason for the mask, pal. All I said was a real man wouldn't have to hid behind one. A real man takes it off, shows his merit, and does what is necessary for the company. And yeah, you claim you're doing that with the mask on, but it's a bitch boy way to do it, in my opinion.

And no, a legend doesn't laugh off another legends warning, that's true. Which is why if you were a true legend, you'd know that as I've told you, you're fucking with the wrong cowboy.

Oh, and before I go, for you to say that you're proving yourself as a legend and earning it, and then to go back and say that it isn't necessary to prove anything to me, is a pretty big contradiction.

I'd suggest getting your story straight before rushing headlong into a situation you seem anxious to come out of with a loss.

Best of luck being Vinnie's bitch, bud.

Cadryn, be serious; do you really think saying the same things again, but louder and with more bravado, is going to convince any of us that it's true? You're the #1 rated superstar? How? In what way? Paul Heyman has you ranked #14, and if you double check your views on the promos you release each week you're firmly in the middle of the pack... right where you should be with your .500 record.

Tell me again how old school you were. I remember you. You were what, 0-7? You quit because you didn't have what it took, and now a decade and a half later you show up and pretend that means something? Go ahead, show me what you did back then that was worth a damn, and maybe I'LL respect YOU. Tell me about the times YOU beat Steve Jason, Shane , Cyren, all those names I listed, I'll wait...






... that's what I fucking thought. You don't believe I did it? I'm telling you I did. You don't believe "90 wins"? I'm telling you too bad. You don't respect me for wearing a mask and I'm telling you I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR RESPECT! I CARE ABOUT YOUR TITLE!

So you tell me Cadryn, where do we go from here? Do you have anything new to throw my way or are you continue to pick out semantics while ignoring the overlying message? You lost a title this morning. You're about to lose another. Do you have anything to say about that, or do you want to keep pretending you're the best with no facts to back you up and ignore everything credible that I say by chalking it up to "hurr durr, it doesn't mean anything unless I know your name"?

I'm the guy that cleaned up Brian Harris, and made more in that night than you've made all year. I'm "Vinnys Bitch Boy" to you because we're working together, but the higher ups barely even know your name. You're a step on my ladder, and keep convincing yourself that you're my endgame.

Sit down.

Shut up.

Or at least come up with some new shit.

Pin.

Ouch. When Cadryn wakes up, let him know I'm proud of him.

Winner and NEW Federweight Champion - Nathan Lucas