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~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (07-23-2016)

LIVE FROM THE 02 ARENA IN LONDON, ENGLAND! It's LEAP OF MOTHER FUCKING FAITH, Y'ALL.

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Xtreme Title Match
Unknown Soldier
- vs -
Chris "MacBitch" MacBeth
Chris MacBeth picks the stipulations!

LEAP OF FAITH MATCH
Luna Hightower
- vs -
Peter Fucking Gilmour
- vs -
Christopher Isles
- vs -
Dimallisher Professor of Insanity
- vs -
Tush
- vs -
Alexis Riot
- vs -
Woman From St. Louis
- vs -
Morbid Angel
Leap of Faith match: Takes place inside of a cage with no roof. There are pods suspended over the ring, you must climb the cage, and leap off to grab a pod. One pod contains a case, the other pods contain random items, such as weapons, instant elimination, and in one case is a needle that sticks into the person and terms them into Mark Whalberg for 3 weeks. That's right, Mark Whalberg. The match is over when someone gets the case and escapes the cage.

MAIN EVENT
UNIVERSAL TITLE MATCH
LOVERBOY VINNIE LANE
- vs -
Scully
Triple Tall Ladder Lumberjack match
The belt is suspended from a hook 55 feet in the air.
You have to climb a 50 foot ladder to get it down.
Lumberjacks stand outside the ring.
For Scully they are:
Chris MacBeth, Ted, Dave, and Tush
For Lane they are:
Frodo Smackins, Thomas Girard, Ghost Tank, and Abbadon

Xtreme Title Match
Unknown Soldier
- vs -
Chris "MacBitch" MacBeth
Chris MacBeth picks the stipulations!

MacBeth and Unknown Soldier are stood in the dining room of Nandos, each independently waiting for their orders. They lock eyes, and begin to stare each other up and down. Chris is mostly confused and slightly repulsed, as Soldier stands there in a black speedo with a rubber dildo hanging out, and nothing else. Not even shows. Come on, bruh, that's just unsanitary. Soldier winks and humps towards Chris as he points to the rubber phallus. Chris shakes his head and turns back to his order as Soldier blows kisses to him. Dewey walks over to a table holding both of the fighter's orders.

Dewey: You

need to get this over with. This is the match. Go.

Just then PA system began to play Fucking in the Bushes by Oasis. The song drags on and people begin to pelt Dewey with food. He doesn't seem to notice as he just begins to hit shitty chicken.

The song ends and it begins to play Hail Satan! by Crucifyre. People just begin to leave the restaurant at this point. Soldier picks up a chicken leg and takes a bite out of it. Some fat english cunt walks in and tries to take the chicken back from him, until Soldier snarls at her. He knows she's unclean, and is hoping that she has that sweet sweet Diff he longs for. Chris is bored of playing this game, and just decks Solider in the face, forcing the chicken bone down his throat. Soldier starts to choke and gesture for help, but Chris kicks him in the face with a well place spinning heel kick, and then he walks to the counter and jumps onto it. Chris steps down and begins to examine it for the belt. He turns to see Dewey giving Soldier the Heimlich, and dislodging the chicken bone. Chris ignores this as he begins to tear through the entire kitchen of Nandos. Soldier casually takes another bite of chicken. Chris has thrown racks onto the floor, and probably some grease around as well. Which is totally unsafe. He is furious, but Soldier is waiting patiently, almost as if he has a sense for where the belt is.

Chris is storming to the front of the restaurant where Soldier's holding a tray of chicken as if he's offering a sample to people. Chris tries to leave, and Soldier smacks him in the face with the tray. Sending him to the ground. Soldier then dips his fake penis on Chris' chin, before walking out of the shitty chicken place and going to something more his speed. Five Guys... No jokes, guys. They make the best hamburgers in this whole shitty arena. Seriously, fuck this arena. If they ever do another show here this narrator will refuse to work. Unknown begins to munch on overpriced, but fantastic, burgers from disgusted English slags who look like they might shit themselves. HE NEEDS THAT DIFF. Chris comes charging in, and clocks Soldier with a spear that sends them slamming into tables. A scrawny and uppity looking cunt slacks Chris with her purse. He backhands her, and gets to his feet.

Soldier is up and is preparing to steal more food, when he catches Chris trying to go for the belt. He decides he doesn't want to let Chris get away with that, so he pulls a condom full of frozen shit out of his speedo, and throws it directly at Chris. It splatters and knocks him down. Soldier then casually walks to the back, stealing fries from a bloke who decided the shit show wasn't going to ruin his meal. Chris starts to stir, Soldier is throwing things around in the back trying to find the belt. Chris is charging at Soldier, but the fat sad sack of wasted chromosomes that is the british man eating throws his fries in Chris' face. He then storms off, finally having have had enough. MacBeth decides he's had enough of this yank food and leaves to find a pub. He needs a drink. Soldier is pissed off because he knew Greggo would have hid the belt in here. Fuck Greggo for that. Chris is sat in a Becks Vier drinking a pint of bitter when Soldier smells him, and heads towards that way. Some woman tries to cover her kid's eyes so he doesn't have to see Soldier's pale ass cheeks flapping out of the speedo, but it's no use as the kid moves his mom's hand. Poor decisions, as the light reflecting off of them has probably blinded him. The door to the bar is open when Soldier arrives. He finds this to not be up to standard so he walks in, grabs the doors and closes them as he steps out. The bar is broadcasting this on the telly, and Chris just buries his head in his hands in shame. On the TV the patrons see Soldier run dildo first into the door and push it open. The crowd cheers.

Chris runs to the back to try and hide slash search for the belt. Soldier scans the horizon for MacBeth. When he doesn't see him he lets out a blood curdling scream, causing the patrons of the bar to flee in terror. Except Shaun Crowe who's trying to chat up some nasty looking blonde with big tits. Soldier sees this and snarls. Shaun gets to his feet and runs as fast he possibly can. He really can fly, nigga. In the back Chris is throwing things around trying to find the belt in the back. Soldier walks into the back, holding a stool. He slams it down onto the ground, and it breaks. He picks up a piece of the wood and slams it into Chris's shoulder, piercing the skin. He turns and walks out of the bar while Chris stands there looking dumbstruck. Soldier is pissed, and walks to the nearest Starbucks, where there's white girls there's bound to be gold. He walks in, and a swarm of thirsty white girls flock to him, allowing him to spot the belt hanging up behind the counter. A blonde girl who looks like a cleaner version of Roxxy Rotten begins to fellate the dildo. Soldier has no time for this. He strips off the speedo and walks to grab the belt. A bell rings, and out of nowhere Dewey slams a vente grande dildo sized coffee down.

Dewey: Your winner, and still Xtreme Champion is Unknown Soldier.

Just then the flock of white girls all run out of the Starbucks holding back their vomit. Soldier turns to see why, and there standing by the door is Thomas Girard, Frodo's personal bitch. He's holding a 24/7 case, and has a rather disgusted look on his face. He walks to Soldier, who's cuddling his belt like Smeagol.

Hello, Soldier. Please, take these.

He stops and tries to hand pants to Soldier, who just swats them away.

Fine. Suit yourself, but take this. It's a second 24/7 case. You've held the title for 8 weeks, and had five defenses. The case is yours.

Thomas walks away in disgust. But not before Dewey hits a button and Girard convulses on the floor.

Dewey: Forgot something, rapist.

Thomas looks up in shock.

Vous avez un bouton?

Dewey: English, man. We are in England.

You have a button?

Dewey: Goddamn right. Tell them about the tag titles.

The tag title is stripped from that Nègre Makavelli, and passed onto Michael "McPotato" McBride. Happy, now can I go?

Dewey: Nah.

Dewey shocks Girard and walks off leaving Girard twitching on the ground as a naked Soldier steps over him to go to the back.

LEAP OF FAITH MATCH
Luna Hightower
- vs -
Peter Fucking Gilmour
- vs -
Christopher Isles
- vs -
Dimallisher Professor of Insanity
- vs -
Tush
- vs -
Alexis Riot
- vs -
Woman From St. Louis
- vs -
Morbid Angel
Leap of Faith match: Takes place inside of a cage with no roof. There are pods suspended over the ring, you must climb the cage, and leap off to grab a pod. One pod contains a case, the other pods contain random items, such as weapons, instant elimination, and in one case is a needle that sticks into the person and terms them into Mark Whalberg for 3 weeks. That's right, Mark Whalberg. The match is over when someone gets the case and escapes the cage.

Back in the ring, the competitors stand around in amazement as the pods are lowered from the rafters, and a cage encircles them. As it lowers, Alexis gets her leg caught, and it's snapped under the weight of the cage. They have to lift the cage to save her leg. She's pulled out of the ring, and taken to the back. Christopher Isles takes this chance to run to the back, and smoke a bowl. While he's gone the cage is lowered, and the bell rings. Morbid looks around and eyeballs Dim who is eyeballing Peter with a real lust in his eyes. Tush and Kendall Sawyer lock up and begin to trade blows while Peter Dim, and Morbid move towards each other. No one notices that Luna is making her way up the cage walls like a spider monkey. Dim is behind Peter trying to protect him from invading foes. Morbid is walking to Peter, who is inching towards the Morbid one. Luna is at the top of cage, and Tush has Kendall in a headlock. He's punching her in the face while Dim slaps Peter on the ass. Peter turns around and hits a Gilmour Cutter on Dim, which drops him and shakes the match. Right as Luna leaps from the cage wall, and lands on a pod.

She disconnects the clamps from the pod, and it collapses to the mat, with Luna riding it Dr. Strangelove style. The pod smashes into the mat, and throws chunks of glass everywhere. Inside the pod is...A soda. It's all shaken up and fizzy. She picks it up, and tosses it in the air once, twice, thrice. On the third toss, she throws it hard against Dim's head. The can explodes as it contacts with Dim's thick skull. He turns around to see who threw it, and Luna points to Tush. This enrages Dim who charges at the Lounge Lizard. Tush is shocked to have a big boot connect to his face, throwing him against the cage. Kendall gets up from the mat, where Tush was stomping on her and charges at Luna. Kendall hits a bulldog on Luna that drops her, hard. Peter and Morbid are locked up in a battle of chest chops. One of Peter's chops gets caught on Morbid's Cocklace, and pulls it down breaking it. Morbid is furious as this happens. The Morbidest Angel grabs Peter by the long girly hair and throws him straight into the air. Peter gets stuck in a pod, and Morbid howls as he drops down to the mat to collect his dicks. He's wildly grabbing for the dicks, and attempting to swing his arm to keep people away from his dick collection. The Dicks are too many for his hands to hold and start to fall to the mat. He has a plan, one by one he places each and every one of them inside of his mouth like a squirrel stockpiling nuts for the winter.

Peter tries to free himself from the pod, but instead he manages to wiggle it loose, and both Peter and the Pod come crashing to the mat with a massive thud. The pod comes crashing open, and inside is Mariah Dinkey. In nothing, at all. Mariah is just standing there majestic and nude as everyone stops and looks at this scene in pure shock. And then, Mariah kisses Peter on the mouth. Peter tries to fight back, but Mariah holds him too close. Dim, who is holding Tush and punching him in the face, sees this and runs to save Peter. Mariah sees the large Dim running towards her, and goes to hit her with a giant spear. But, Morbid steps in the way, and grabs Dim by the arm, and just whips him into the ropes. Tush is quick to cash in on this opportunity and hits a spinning heel kick right into Dim's dopey smile, taking a few teeth with it. Dim is down like a sack of C.Diff.

Luna is back on her feet trading blows with Kendall Sawyer, while Morbid has moved over to fight Tush, he has the man by the hair and begins to pummel the Lizard's face with his giant monster hands. Peter pushes Mariah off of him, and notices that everyone is distracted, so he climbs the cage wall. Spider Gil Spider Gil does whatever a spider can, suck his dick. He's up the cage, and looking at the pods. PETER LEAPS! Mother fuckers, he leaps so goddamn majestic it feels like an eagle has come down from the heavens and shat Abe Lincoln into the middle of the arena for him to piss all over England. That majestic. He lands on a pod, and unhinges it. He drops down, and lands directly on Tush and Morbid taking them both out as the pod shatters. Inside is a naked and shivering man. The lights dim in the arena and focus on the man in the middle of the pod. Peter looks confused as he starts to stir and wake up. He stretches, and stands up. It's Shaun Crowe. He begins to do toe touches in the middle of the ring while Peter watches in confusion. Morbid and Tush get out from the shards of glass. Just in time for boot to the face courtesy of Kendall Sawyer and Luna HighTower. Peter is laying into Shaun Crowe with a barrage of rights and lefts, which force Shaun back towards the ropes. He's trying to guard his body, but Dim is right behind him, and grabs him. With a mighty heave Dim throws Crowe against the wall of the cage, and he begins to flop like a fish for a good 45 seconds, before yawning and going to bed.

Everyone gives a collective shoulder shrug, and goes back to duking it out. Morbid has Kendall by the hair and is slamming her like Bam Bam. Luna is beating the living shit out Tush with chops and kicks, and even bit him on the eye. Peter is trying to push Dim off of him as Dim tries to hug Peter. Tush gets a hold of Luna in a headlock, and runs headfirst into the cage, splitting her head open and dropping her. The lounge lizard begins to climb the cage. Mariah is screaming for Peter to love her, but Dim shuts her up with a massive backhand to the face. She goes down hard, and not the way Peter likes it. Tush is atop the cage, and flies. The audience cheers for him as he flies and drops a large amount of Lizard Semen on the competitors below. He touches a pod, and pulls himself on top of it. Boom, the Lizard uses his functional legs to knock a second pod off while straddling this one. He drops this pod, and rides it down. There's shards of broken glass and plastic everywhere. Morbid punches Tush in the face after wiping Lizard Semen off of his face. Peter is standing there in disbelief as the contents of one of the pods is revealed. Oh our fucking god. It's mother fucking. Cock Sucking. Jesus Christ Humping. Rose Fucking Smith. That's right people. Rose Smith is now standing in right there in the ring. And standing next to her is Kendall Sawyer with a smirk. She's holding something. Oh my god. She got the Mark Wahlberg Syringe. She stabs it into Rose Smith's neck. And Rose starts to smoke. It's green smoke. The whole arena is filled with green smoke. It begins to dissipate, leaving the ring barren. All competitors are scrambling up the cage wall trying to get the pod. Standing where Rose was is...

.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
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[Image: actor+mark+wahlberg31.jpg]

Mother fucking Mark Wahlberg. The audience begins to chant something we haven't heard in a long time.

ROSE SMITH IS A MAN!! HAHAHA ROSE SMITH IS A MAN!!

Peter is furious at the chants, and loses his balance. He falls to ground. Only to be attacked by a half asleep Shaun Crowe who thinks Peter is a dragon. Morbid sees a pod hanging just on the edge of the cage. He leaps for it, while everyone else leaps for pods completely in the cage. Everyone drops at once, and lands together in a mess of broken plastic and garbage. They survey what they got. Kendall got a CD player blasting Peter Gabriel's SledgeHammer. Luna got a literal sledgehammer. Dim got a toothbrush. Good, he needs it. Tush got a sword, for some reason. And Morbid got. The Case. And he's outside of the cage. The bell is rung.

DEWEY: Your winner, and the new Mister 24/7 Briefcase Holder is Morbid Angel. The

.

Morbid opens the case and spits his dicks into them, before locking it tight. Frodo Smackins walks to the front alongside Thomas Girard.

"Good job, Morbid. You got a new pussy to fuck, you got new earbuds, and a 24/7 case. Oh, and your dose of semen. Good. Now, before we move on to the finale of the show. I need to address something. Thomas is holding the list of those who tested positive for Chlostridium Difficile Collitis. Hand it over, boy."

Thomas does as he's told, and Dewey still shocks him. Hahaha. Good times.

"If your name is on this list, you have the Diff. Ok.

Frodo Smackins.

Loverboy Vinnie Lane

Thomas Girard.

Shade

Drezdin

Fuzen Sephtis

Alysia Sephtis

Ginger Snaps

Mia Yim.

That is all of the afflicted, as far as well can tell. Someone please tell Soldier he still doesn't have the Diff. Goodnight."

With that Frodo walks to back while we cut to commercial.

Mr. Oz · **07-23-2016, 03:25 PM**

Ghost Tank listened to the results, and growled. After the break, he began seeking out Frodo, and when he does, his injured arm is in a sling,

"Alysia never submitted a sample, Fred. Since I don't have it, she doesn't have it. And since all of my servants came up clean, there's no way in hell that my daughter has it. So stop fucking with my family. Your problem is with ME, not them. Don't you dare bring my family into this shit."

Shaun Crowe · (07-23-2016)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Disniggamad.

**Vincent Lane** · (07-23-2016)

So did Girard get it from Ginger, or vice versa? Will we ever know?

This is why assplay is a bad idea on a first date, dude.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · **07-23-2016, 03:32 PM**

(07-23-2016, 03:25 PM)Ghost Tank Said: Ghost Tank listened to the results, and growled. After the break, he began seeking out Frodo, and when he does, his injured arm is in a sling,

"Alysia never submitted a sample, Fred. Since I don't have it, she doesn't have it. And since all of my servants came up clean, there's no way in hell that my daughter has it. So stop fucking with my family. Your problem is with ME, not them. Don't you dare bring my family into this shit."

"We have a sample that clearly states Alysia Sephtis, and one clearly from your daughter. Both are positive. We didn't actually test your servants. Just the ones that were labeled in connection to you. We had to be certain. I'm not exactly sure how you don't have it, though. You can either be a giant cry baby about it. Or deal with it like an adult. The choice is yours, crybaby."

Shaun Crowe · **07-23-2016, 03:34 PM**

(07-23-2016, 03:28 PM)LoverboyVinnieLane Said: So did Girard get it from Ginger, or vice versa? Will we ever know?

This is why assplay is a bad idea on a first date, dude.

Only if you a hashtag weak nigga like Tommy Gayrod.

Mr. Oz · **07-23-2016, 03:35 PM**

"Or, how about I break both of your fucking legs, then you actually do your fucking job? Y'know what? I'll do your job for you. I'll have them tested by doctors I trust, doctors that will actually know what they're doing, instead of whatever hacks you sent the shit to."

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (07-24-2016)

"You couldn't beat me before, and you're running scared from a challenge I laid out. You're a giant crybaby pussy. Your wife and kid have it. Deal with that shit, or I will rape you. I will seriously rape you. You miserable cunt. Maybe if you actually were half as good as you think you are you wouldn't be the only champion that no one respects. In a list including Peter Gilmour. Let's put that in perspective 'Monster' YOU ARE LESS RESPECTED THAN PETER GILMOUR. YOU ARE LESS TALENTED THAN PETER GILMOUR. YOU ARE LESS THAN MARIAH DINKY."

Rapist Shane · (07-23-2016)

Rapist Shane looks up from raping Shaun Crowe.

"Someone say rape?"

He goes back to raping YA BOI.

Shaun Crowe · **07-23-2016, 03:46 PM**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHATDAFUKKISDISSHIT?!

YA BOI is den visited by da muhfukkkin ghost 'a his old man like he was on dat Maverick grind.

"Shhhhhhhhh, just let it happen nigga."

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · (07-24-2016)

ooc: Lost segment from after the Leap of Faith match

Peter is in the back holding his head in his hands, knowing another opportunity went through his hands. Mia Yim is standing over him rubbing his back, giving him a sexy massage. Peter lifts his head as it seems he likes it.

Peter: I can't believe I lost AGAIN! I had that case in my hands but that devil worshipping cock sucker Morbid took my case. And what's worse, my ex Rose Smith got turned into Mark Wahlberg for 3 weeks. And now you got C-Diff. Im so sick of Frodo Smackins.... fuck this..

Peter gets up and throws his chair clear across the room. Peter is PISSED as Mia looks on with a smile on her face.

Mia: Uh babe...

Peter: I'm going to kill Frodo on the next Warfare. I'm done putting up with his shit! I'm gonna end his ....

Mia: BABE!

Peter: WHAAAAAAAAAT!

Mia pulls Peter close and kisses him passionately. Peter pulls back and wonders why Mia kissed him knowing she has a very bad disease.

Peter: What a minute. You kissed me. But...

Mia pulls out a bottle from her back pocket and it seems it has urine in it. We can see her name is on it. Did Mia pull a switcharoo on Thomas Girard? She begins to smile wickedly as Peter does the same. He hugs his new girlfriend as he looks into the camera.

Peter: Hey Girard! Nice try! I'm always one step ahead.. You tested Apple Juice you stupid

. My girl is perfectly healthy just like she is the perfect woman. So Frodo, Girard.. all I can say to you two fags is..

SUCK

MY

Mia: DICK!

Peter and Mia laugh wickedly as they leave their locker room.

~~Frodo mother fucking Smackins~~ · (07-25-2016)

"Peter. We didn't test urine. We tested shit. And we took her shit without you guys knowing. Mia got the Diff."

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **07-24-2016, 06:09 PM**

and u aint got shit bitch. Mia aint got the Diff. so fuck off!

Mr. Oz · (07-25-2016)

(07-24-2016, 06:09 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: and u aint got shit bitch. Mia aint got the Diff. so fuck off!

"I have to deal with my daughter having this bullshit. You can deal with Mia having it. If you ask me nicely, I'll pay for the treatment, as I have to pay for my daughter's."

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **07-25-2016, 11:57 AM**

50k.for the treatment and a title shot

Mr. Oz · (07-25-2016)

"You'll pay me fifty thousand XBux and give me a title shot at the tag belts, assuming that you keep the titles? If so, done. I've got the resources outside of the XWF."

Felix Braddock · **07-25-2016, 01:06 PM**

Here we see Ghost Tank trying to buy a tag title shot to compensate for his buddy club's lack of combined talent.

~~Peter Fn Gilmour~~ · **07-25-2016, 03:30 PM**

No.deal..I get the hart title or ill beat it out of u

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Leap of Faith Day 3!!!
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