Alexis Riot is reclining on a chair, reading the book "Jaws". As she licks her finger to turn a page, she looks up and sees the camera is rolling. She smiles and says,

"Well hello there Rioters! For those who still don't know me, I'm Alexis Riot, former X-Treme Champion and leader of the Riot Revolution,"

"I also got set on fire once,"

"Anyway, I'm not really sure why you guys are here to be honest. I'm just siting here reading Jaws, the novel that inspired the film that demonized sharks worldwide. So, unless you guys just want to listen to me read this classic tale, which would be boring as all fuck to listen to, you guys can just go. Besides, its not like D'Ville has said anything this week,"

"Wait... what?"

Alexis puts down her book and listens to the mysterious cameraman.

"Really?"

Alexis then laughs,

"Took the Doc long enough! Thought he was going to no show for a second! Wait... shit, I better get ready to do a promo!"


The camera cuts to Alexis a few minutes later, siting in front of the camera with a smile on her face.

"Hello again Rioters! I'm Alexis Riot and well... its time,"

"The wait is over,"

"D'Ville has stopped being a bitch and has actually said something about our match,"

"Well, Doc, you might be a little late for our appointment, but don't worry. This patient was, well, patient, and is still ready for our little match on Saturday,"

"Thing is doctor, I might be the patient, but it will be you who leaves in an ambulance,"

"Before I continue, thank you to everyone who helped spread #wherethefuckisdoc and sent me evidence on Doctor's whereabouts on www.wherethefuckisdoc.com. Sadly, because Doc remerged out of nowhere all by himself and no one really truly "found" him, I guess that means no one will get the AJ Styles cumshot T-Shirt,"

"Which is good, because that shirt is the shit, and by that I mean it's literally shit,"

To illustrate her point, Alexis picks up the shirt, crumples it up, and throws it off screen.

"Back on topic, let's see what the King had to say about little ole me,"

"Yes Doc, I am coming off a really bad week. I've lost my title, got set on fire, and now have to face off against you,"

"The thing is though, none of that weakens or discourages me though, it just lights a fire under me,"

"It makes me more determined, more foucused, and most of all more dangerous,"

"Funny isn't it? Getting set on fire only made my inner fire grow stronger!"

"And this fire is going to burn you up Doc,"

"You cite my loss against Fernando as a strike against me? Look Doc, I didn't jump into an ocean full of sharks and assume I would come out ok, I knew I would get bit."

"And I did get bit, hard, but I survived that bite, and now I'm coming back into the ocean like Quint from Jaws, looking to take revenge against the biggest shark In the ocean,"

"You are the great white, your highness, but unlike Quint, even when I get locked in your bloody, painful jaws, I won't die easily,"

"At least, I won't die without taking you with me,"

"The fact I'm still walking after the beatdown I suffered is a testament that I'm here to stay, like it or not, and that after, yes after, I'm done with you and after I win the gauntlet, I'll be stronger than ever,"

"And when people like Pest and the CCWF realize the monster that has been unleashed, it will be too late,"

"You're no steeping stone Doc, you're a boulder, one that has bested many a climber,"

"But Riot is coming at you with a box filled with dynamite,"

"The door is always open huh? Well I'm sorry D'Ville,"

"But it's closing time,"

Alexis Riot walked down the streets of Chicago, hands in her pockets from the chill in the air. It was early in the morning, so the streets were quiet, allowing Alexis to focus on her thoughts. She was heading to the "Bare Necessities," the mobile home of her friend Jethro Huffman, in order to basically be the enforcer for a drug deal. The voice in her head was really getting at her for this one,

"Really, are you going to condone this flagrant sin?"

Alexis sighed, "Hey, that's what friends are for."

"Why is your "friend" even worth going through all this trouble. You do know who he's dealing with right?"

"Yep, a representative of the Red Lions,"

"How can you be so confident? Piss them off, and they will either kill you or kick you out of this city, especially after what you did to three of them in that infamous alleyway next to the theater!"

Alexis Riot giggled to herself. Replaying the moments of absolutely destroying those three bastards and saving a family's life filled her with a sense of joy. Except the part where she got cut in the cheek, but hey, every cloud has a shitty lining, or something.

"I know the risk,"

"But why take it?"

"One, It's just one person, I can take him. Two, with your power, I could take on whatever they throw at me,"

"Only if you kill at least one of them,"

"Three, what pain should I have to fear? I've been set on fire for goodness sakes! Nothing can intimidate me or make me give up now!"

"Eh, good point,"

"Alright, you can shut up now, we're here,"

"I can't fulfill your request of "shutting up", child,"

Alexis now stood in front of the mobile home, with Jethro's car parked lazily next to it. The home itself was very old, with a broken window and rusted sides, along with the smell of drugs and god knows what else in the air. Pretty much the stereotypical home of a drug dealer, but considering Jeff hasn't run into legal trouble recently, Alexis thought it was just a case of hiding in plain sight. Taking a deep breath, Alexis walked up to the door and knocked. She then stepped back, waiting for a response. A few seconds passed, then a few minutes, but still no answer. Alexis shrugged and began to turn around to walk back home,

"Well, it is pretty early in the morning, the deal isn't supposed to start in a couple hours, I'll just swing by later and-"

Before Alexis could finish her thought, she heard a door open behind her. She turned around and saw a sight that quite frankly should never be seen,

It was Jeff holding a half eaten Jimmy Dean sandwich, wearing only boxer briefs, and with his hairy chest showing in all its "glory",

"Oh hi Alex! Didn't expect you to be here this early,"

"..."

"Oh... yeah.... sorry about that... I just woke up around half an hour ago."

"Just... get something on will ya?"


The Bare Necessities was defiantly a reflection on the character of Jeff himself. It was cluttered, with clothes, trash, Jimmy Dean sandwiches, and even a few bags of drugs lying around. It also was filled with a smorgasbord of cheap knick knacks, with an entire collection of snow globes lying on a table. Being a mobile home, it also was very small, almost claustrophobic. And the smell? God forbid the smell! How Jeff could stand living here, Alexis couldn't comprehend. Speaking of Jeff, he was now thankfully dressed, in a Snuggie.

"Really? A member of the most powerful gang in this city is coming over to purchase some of your drugs, and you're dressed in a Snuggie?"

"Hey, casual Friday. Besides, it doesn't really matter what I look like to be honest, the only thing he's concerned about is the quality of what I'm selling,"

"Speaking of which, what are you selling them anyway? Weed? Cocaine? Molly? PCB?"

"Trust me Al, its way more valuable then any of those."

"Then what is it?"

"Its a new drug that's been making the rounds, they call it "Sprinkles"."

"Sprinkles? Of all the names..."

"Don't let the name fool you bruh, its some trippy stuff. Its basically an advanced form of LCD, causing hallucinations and brief detachment from reality. The visions last longer than your average LCD, and they are WAY more wicked. Some people who have had It claimed to see outside of this universe! Heck, I heard one person claim they saw the face of God! Needless to say, its very dangerous, very rare, and very valuable. I had to sell five entire shipments of my usual drugs to afford a bag of it! It's lying on the dinner table right now. You can take a look, but no touchies, I don't want its value to lower."

Alexis was now curious, so she walked over to the table, almost tripping over a box of Twinkies left lying on the ground, and took a look at these "Sprinkles". They certainly lived up to their name, looking exactly like those multicolored capsules of sugar. It's size would make it easy to smuggle and easier to take, and if what Jeff said about its effects and its value was true, well, Jeff might have enough money to make it literally rain, provided he didn't waste it all on pool games and cheap breakfast sandwiches. Suddenly, Alexis realized a presence next to her. She turned around and nearly jumped back. It was a tall man, around 6'9, and he had a muscular but not well toned frame. He also wore a trucker cap, a sleeveless basketball T-Shirt, and a large pair of jorts with black cowboy boots. The most striking thing about the man, however, was his expression. It was completely vacant, no emotion or even thought seemed to be in it, and the man's tongue stuck out of his mouth. In fact, had the man not been obvious breathing from the rising of his chest, Riot would have thought he was dead!



"Oh... Hi Bob,"

Bob continued to not move, just staring. After a long while, he put up his hand and waved slightly before having it drop back down to his side.

"So... how has Bob been doing lately?"

"Alright, I tried to get him to speak a few simple words, but he still can't do that yet. Always ends up having a tantrum trying to pronounce the words. He can however respond to some simple English phrases via body language and can also do some simple tasks, such as getting me another sandwich,"

Jeff then clapped, the noise getting Bob's attention.

"Hey Bob, throw me a Dean will ya?"

The colossus then slumbered over to the pantry, pulling out a box of Jimmy Dean sandwiches. The man then ripped the box in half, the food spilling to the floor. After a few seconds, Bob then bent down to pick up a sandwich. He then threw the sandwich to Jeff, the bum catching it in his right hand. After this, Bob then went back to his near catatonic state, staring into space.

"Yeah... we still have a long way to go before he can live on his own, but he's still better."

"Does he still have his... outbursts?"

"Not as much as usual, I was able to convince him to not be afraid of the dark. He does, however, get very defensive if anything he consider harm comes my way."

"So, he's basically a guard dog?"

"More like a kid, a big, protective, and mentally challenged kid. Here, let me show you."

Jeff then stood up, a wave of Jimmy Dean crumbs falling off his Snuggie to the floor. How this place didn't have ants was a mystery.

"Alright Al, slap me,"

"What?"

"Don't worry, I can take it. Don't hold back ok?"

"Alright then Jeff, if you say so,"

Confused, Alexis slapped her friend directly in the cheek, the impact of the slap nearly causing Jeff to fall back in his chair. When the stinging recoil of that slap filled the air. Something seemed to snap inside of Bob. He raised his hands up, his eyes opening wide and nearly popping out of socket, and he filled the air with a mighty roar. He then looked straight into Alexis's eyes, like how a predator looks in the eye of his pray. The big men then charged at Riot, having surprising speed and agility to not trip on the absolute squalor on the floor. The enraged "kid" then raised his right hand up in a fist, getting ready to knock Alexis through the wall of the Mobile home! Alexis stood frozen not in fear, but in surprise. Seeing the once nearly vegetable of a man charge at her with the speed and strength of a tiger caught her completely off guard. She closed her eyes, getting ready to receive the biggest hit of her life, when suddenly Jeff interjected, standing between the beauty and the beast.

"Calm down Bob, calm down! I'm alright, see?"

Jeff then did some sort of bizarre hand gesture to the raving lunatic, and it somehow worked. Bob's rage began to fade away, he put his fist down and begun to back away to his original position near the dinner table. He then stopped, stood still, and his tongue begun to hang back out. He was now back to his normal, statue like self.

"Holy shit... don't do that again!"

"Don't worry Al!" Jeff said with a laugh, "It's only a last resort. If he messes with me and somehow is able to get past you, he has to answer to Big Bob back there!"

"You know... you're really smart some times,"

"It's not really intelligence, just common sense,"

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Jeff walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. After looking for a while, Jeff turned back to Alexis, a look of unusual fear on his face.

"Well, the guy's here,"

"Ok... why do you look so worried?"

"He's not alone. There's about twenty or so other Red Lions with him, and they're all armed,"

"With guns?"

"Yep, pistols,"

Alexis paused for a moment, why the hell would they be so armed for a drug deal? Jeff wasn't much of a threat, even with Bob, so what's with this near army appearing outside of his home?

Then she realized,

They didn't care about the drugs. They didn't even care about Jeff. They were only here for one reason,

For her.

"Oh shit,"

"What did I tell you?"

To be continued...

Love me? Good. Hate me? Better

Accomplishments:
1 Time X-Treme Champion
Snow Job Gauntlet Winner