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Shocker · **03-30-2013, 11:12 AM**

Every day that goes by, someone seems to underestimate my abilities. Everyone only worries about those steroid injected blunders they call "Superstars". Regardless, I feel like this is an opportune time to show them how NOT to ignore someone like myself.

As I sat on the bed with my computer, I began watching a movie on Netflix. It was the movie Godzilla; you know, the one with Matthew Broderick and Jean Reno. Actually isn't as bad as some people say, at least in my opinion. Anyways, I kept watching until I got a call on my phone...

Hello?

Are you serious? What channel?

OK, bye.

I just got some pretty interesting news from one of my old friends. He told me to turn on the TV, and change it to the channel 4 news. Its nice to have such a big TV to see all the crap I'm about to hear.

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Keme Nzerem of channel 4 news with some breaking sports news. This Sunday, the XWF will be hosting its PPV, Gauntlet City, from the Wembley Stadium. Since late Friday night, Superstars have been arriving in London for the event. Earlier today, multiple incidents occurred at Heatrow Airport involving one superstar with superstars in two separate occasions. The first incident occurred within the airport, while the other occurred a few hours later in the parking lot. Police released the name of the aggressor in both incidents, 24 year old wrestler known by the ring name "Shocker"...

I proceed to shut the TV off. As much fun as it was I don't know what was funnier. The fact that it happened, or the fact the local news felt it was important enough to make the newscast. Either way, its still comforting to know I made an impression. That has been my goal all along. Everyone is worried about everyone else, when they should fear the unknown. Suddenly, there is a knock at the door. I guess it might be a good idea to put on some pants.

Who is it?

*muffled through the door* It's Paraic O'Brien. I'm a reporter for the channel 4 news. We ran a story on you...

Yeah I know, I just saw it...hold on.

I proceed to get off the bed, and head to the door. After unlocking the lock and chain, I open the door see a man in his mid 30's He had his suit and tie, while I'm standing there in my jean pants and no shirt. I guess a shirt might have been a better idea before I opened the door.

What can I do for you?

Well I was wanting to do a follow-up interview with you about your match at the PPV.

Really? Sure your not here to do a police statement?

No, I'm actually a big fan of the XWF. Plus we are running a special on our channel about the PPV beforehand. So I actually wanted to get your thoughts on the match and the PPV in general.

OK, but lets make this quick. I don't have all night.

Sure no problem. Can I come in?

Sure, just take a seat at the table.

After about five minutes of getting situated, we began the interview.

Lets start with the champion, Angelus. You recently attacked him backstage at an event last week on Shove It. Although you didn't attempt a pin. Were you just making a statement for Gauntlet City?

I wouldn't say that exactly, but it seems like that's how it ended up. I actually give him some credit, in regards to holding his title for so long. I mean, 56 days itself isn't that impressive, the conditions themselves warrant someone that loves to fight. I feel the same way, but I'm more prone to just beat the living crap out of someone.

Then you actually don't want to win the title this Sunday?

No. I'm planning on destroying everyone in that match. Everyone is gunning to win the title, while I planning to cause pure chaos and destruction. If in that process, I decide to end the match and make a pin, then yes I'll be taking that little 24/7 Xtreme Championship.

Is there any reason to think you can't win this match?

Are you serious? I'm up against three little girls as far as I'm concerned. I mean we have Angelus who like hits on some barfly who eats meatloaf every Tuesday night. I mean I had him laid out after attacking him. He may have come to, but I barely did anything. He's up for a real challenge from me, so he needs to be careful.

OK, now how about your other opponents?

Well lets see. First there's this Luca guy. He reminds me of that weird vampire from that movie Twilight. I'm sure he knows exactly who I'm talking about. The poor bastard lost some people close to him, but he's way too depressed to be taken seriously. That makes him the weakest link in the bunch. If he wants to boast over a win over an overrated wrestler, that's fine. I guess women need something to be proud of. Hope he doesn't have one of his hormonal outburst...then again, he might actually fight back if he's having one of his "on the rag" moments.

What about your other competition, John Black?

Who? Oh that dumb f**k who I smacked around at the airport? I'm not even concerned with him. He has two things wrong with him. He's more worried about Luca then Angelus. That right there proves he's no threat. If he's threatened by a little bitch who glitter-glows in the sun, he's got more problems then Luca. Secondly, who wants to date a prostitute? I mean, if your that lonely, you need to rethink your lifestyle. I mean, come on, look at him. He's only gonna be able to get laid if he paid for it, and it wouldn't come cheap either.

OK, I think were done here. I'd like to thank you....

Whoa, hold on there buddy. What give you the right to just ask your little questions and just walk off. I'm not done, so I would suggest you sit back down.

OK, fine. Can we at least get something to eat?

Really? If your buying, I have no problem with that.

Where should we go?

How about some shitty meatloaf from the bar down the street...oh wait its not Tuesday...

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