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John Samuels · **10-02-2014, 07:23 PM**

"Hey there Vinnie boy! I just wanted to say that I'm admiring what you're doing. Huge fan. I mean, to leave your house every day looking like a glitter-sprinkled, Pat Benatar bowel movement takes some serious courage. Bravo, bra-vo.

But we've got just the teensiest, tiniest little problem, hombre.

Ya see, a little birdy told me that you named your penis after me. At first I couldn't believe it, but then I dared to look through some old Vinnie Lane promo footage and sure enough, you called your unit 'The Senator.' Thankfully you did it fairly early in your promo, because my God you're about as insightful as a Special Olympics debate team. No offense.

You seeing where I'm heading with this? It's really flattering that you'd want to use my name and considerable clout to mask that little underwhelmer of yours, but I'm gonna go ahead and say it's time you cut that shit out. I understand that you need some kind of gimmick to get these syphallitic soccer moms to experience the "Vinnie Lane Half Minute of Pain," but you're really just not relevant enough to be using my name. How about calling it 'The Arzegotti' instead?

I'm already anticipating some snarky, barely intelligible response from you so why don't we just skip the part where you make yourself look like an idiot and just have a match? I'm slightly busy fighting McBride and whoever the fuck Maverick is this week, and leading Team Whoever-Gets-The-First-Pick to victory at War Games next week. But afterwards, I would greatly appreciate it if you gave me the opportunity to boot your manhood so hard you'll have to name it 'Sweet Cherry Pie.'

Oh, and careful Vinnie Boy. I've got some magic tricks of my own."

Samuels reaches towards the camera and pulls back a closed fist, a small flesh-colored object poking out between his index and middle fingers. He holds it in front of the camera for a moment before opening his hand and pointing to his thumb.

"Just joshin' ya, your nose is still there. It was actually my thumb the whole time! Ya silly bitch."

**Vincent Lane** · **10-03-2014, 04:33 AM**

Man, what is it with you old-timers always popping up and immediately coming after me?

Is it because I remind you of when you were young and cool, and capable of getting through a wrestling match without having to top off your Low T with a few extra hard-on pills?

I tell you one thing dude, my Senator has been in a LOT of mouths, but never one of a cigar chewing, ten gallon hat wearing, wannabe J.R. Ewing. But man, I don't get how even someone with a head as thick as yours could possibly think the word "senator" could only refer to you, dude. I mean, besides your little one man costume ball there and the 100 ACTUAL senators in the United States, there's also the hundreds of others that have existed here and even thousands of years ago! But you think it's you? A guy I'd never even heard of until your name dribbled out of Pest's mouth like his step-dad's jizz? That's some next-level self-centeredness, man.

I'm gonna let you simmer for a bit and really think about what you're asking for, dude, because I don't want to get accused of abusing the elderly without an iron clad waiver signed off on by your legal guardian or whomever has your right of attorney at the home. Keep in mind, we might be on the same team on the 15th, if you're REALLY lucky, but we'll probably be on opposite sides. You'll get a little sneak preview that way, gramps. Then, you can take a little extra time to get out the ol' Hoveround and try to work that... body... you got there into something close to ring shape.

In the mean time, keep my name, and my cock, out from between your gums. Got it? Good. Now go take your pills.

John Samuels · **10-03-2014, 08:39 AM**

"Thanks for the reminder, little lady."

Samuels pops a couple Viagra.

"Wait a fucking minute! Vinnie did you... Hold on."

Samuels pulls out a pair of reading glasses and pulls out his cellphone. He hits a few buttons and holds the phone 2 inches from his face.

"Hmmm... Oh here we are! 'A flatulent-sounding explusion of air from the vagina...' Vinnie! It appears you just queefed, you man-sized fuck pocket! Look here, sissy britches, I understand being afraid of me and all but to outright duck me? Bitch move. I tried to do this the easy way, the alternative is going to be so much worse."

**Vincent Lane** · **10-03-2014, 02:27 PM**

Duck you?

Dude, I've never ducked anyone and I've seen scarier guys in line at Wal-Mart. Seriously, have you seen some of those people?

Now, dude, I know it's getting late and you want to be able to get up early enough to make the breakfast special at Golden Corral, so I'll keep it short. We can have your match, just not, like, TOMORROW, man.

I know you like to live every day like its your last because... well, it really might be... but still. You waited all this time to finally give a damn about showing up, right? Surely you can hold your shit for a few more days.

John Samuels · **10-03-2014, 02:44 PM**

"Uh oh Vinnie! It looks like I caught you slipping. I think you must not have heard me when I said:"

(10-02-2014, 07:23 PM)John Samuels Said: " I'm already anticipating some snarky, barely intelligible response from you so why don't we just skip the part where you make yourself look like an idiot and just have a match? I'm slightly busy fighting McBride and whoever the fuck Maverick is this week, and leading Team Whoever-Gets-The-First-Pick to victory at War Games next week. But afterwards, I would greatly appreciate it if you gave me the opportunity to boot your manhood so hard you'll have to name it 'Sweet Cherry Pie.'"

"Maybe it's that hippy mane of yours blocking your ear holes? Cut your fucking hair, you useless libtard. Christ Almighty, if I knew you were a

too I would never have bothered..."

**10-03-2014, 02:46 PM**

What's the matter, Vin? You get challenged by real opponents, you don't even have to challenge someone for once! And you turn down both of them. In less time than it took you to get pinned by ponies and lose your title. Goddamn, you are a bitch.

**Vincent Lane** · **10-03-2014, 03:00 PM**

Good point, Johnny, since I totally meant "tomorrow" literally. Not like I hadn't totally already mentioned the War Games or anything... you totally got me good, man!

Oh, have you met my stalker? The dildos are actually there on purpose.

**10-03-2014, 03:09 PM**

John and I have had a few dealings. How is Fairchild, John?

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Vinnie, we need to talk.
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