Sid's voice somehow is able to come through even before the scene starts to unfold before us. It's just like when he's in the room with any common performer and anything Sid does just overrides whatever the average Pryce's and mentally challenged Radio's are doing in the same room.
Once the scene has a chance to catch up with Sid Feder (something Pryce, Scorpio, Supernova and those other homosexuals have still not done) we are quickly educated to the fact that Sid is sitting on the bench after taking a long, hot shower. He's got a towel around his waist and that's exactly when we fast forward to the next scene because we already covered the homo-play in the last bit of unwanted footage where Dean McGovern tip toed into the shower with Sid like John Austin or Andrew Morrison trying to sneak their way into the relevant spotlight but failing miserably to keep that spotlight on them the moment they open their mouths.
Sid Feder is still with Dean McGovern but they are no longer slapping at each other in the shower. Dean has red marks around his neck as he sits in the passenger seat of Sid Feder's classic pink and white Cadillac.
Siddy baby you really didn't need to choke me that hard. (coughing a little) I can still hardly breathe. I'm feeling right now how I felt that time my friend Kyle wouldn't take his foot off of my throat while I was ejaculating everywhere and pretending to be a lawn sprinkler, but indoors, so I guess a butt sprinkler would be the term.
Sid slams on the breaks and Dean bounces forward just smacking his head against the dash board and almost knocking himself out. With the car stopped right in the middle of traffic and cars beeping at Sid to move, he turns to Dean and grumbles--
Ok, I don't know if you heard about me, but I ain't the one to be sharin' yer fuckin' schoolboy fantasies with. I'm the guy who's been workin' my ass off to try and make sure the guys on our team can at least have some fun and maybe get some kinda challenge even though we're walkin' into a guaranteed victory as soon as Radio got put in the first round.
Oh Sid I can give ya the lowdown on me right now and tell ya baby those stories of me and Kyle are no fantasy. Those are things that actually happened and that's partially why I came to you; I have a problem, Sid. I need help.
Cars continue to beep as Sid calmly lifts his left hand out the window and gives them the same big middle finger that Team Prince gave all of us when they decided to ignore the universal wrestling guidelines of how entertaining and relevant a wrestling promo is supposed to be.
You hear how impatient these fucks are behind us right now, Dean?
Yes I do, but what's that have to do with what I was saying?
Nothing. It has nothing to do with what we were discussin', man.
Then why say it?
To waste airtime. To fill space that otherwise would have been left empty due to a lack of substance.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ok? You've lost me, hun.
That's the point; I just princed you which is exactly what the entire team of we're facing tonight has been doing to us all week -- filling meaningless horse shit into slots that were originally intended to be watched by entertaining seeking wrestling fans who just might not be ! Can ya imagine the ratings their team is gonna get if 9/10th of the people who tune into their shit aren't gay?
I'ma be honest with you when I say I like their stuff. I thought they were really on point this week.
Sid just looks around in awe for a second with his mouth hanging open. He has to actually take his hand and shut his jaw before he can start speaking again.
Why the fuck am I not surprised? What did I just get done sayin', man? Imagine how the non- audience is going to react to the endless stream of cockblower material that Theo and his girlymen been puttin' out.
Sid, psst, hey Sid; I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm not gay.
Sid reacts like somebody just told him Mr. Radio knows English. His eyebrows raise to the roof and his eyes look so bulged that he's at risk of his glass eye popping out. Without a word, he starts to press his foot to the gas and begins to head down the street in silence.
I'm actually being serious here. I'm not gay.
Sid has that look on his face like what your grandfather might have when he's trying to remember it's not ok to just slap children in their face anymore. His lips are tight and his jaw clenched.
Why aren't you acknowledging what I'm saying? We're partners here. I'm your supervisor now after Eli James hired me to be the Congro's #1 bad boy. Not only that, but if you have any kids who you need me to babysit while you guys are ever going on about Congro Biz, just let me know and I'll be sure to clear my schedule that day. I'm really REALLY good with kids, Sid. Not sure if you heard that about me or not, but if not, just fuhget whatchu heard.
Sid calmly pulls the Cadillac into an abandoned parking lot without saying a word. He reaches and turns the old school knob on his radio and turns up what is just commercials; anything to have a sound drowning out Dean's voice right now.
Dean goes on to explain things to Sid but Sid can't hear a word of it at this point. Sid is actually nodding his head to the sounds of the commercials on the [s] ] radio -- it was speaking English so it must not be .
Speaking of ; did that short bus riding moon tranny really go out of his way to shoot a group scene with two of the other ladies on his team but fail to even try and address anything that matters, such as the fact that Sid Feder just gave Lucena the guaranteed win when he met with him in the hospital and gave away all of secrets? What did and company do instead? Go to a gay strip club? Good counter. I'm glad they know there's no point in even trying to help elevate to any chance of victory tonight -- why not just take him out after getting drunk?
At least was able to supply Sid Feder with the title to this piece we're viewing now -- "I am far superior to over half of those pathetic excuse of a wrestler" -- what a statement! Thanks, ! The same guy who accused Lucena of not being able to speak? Do you know how lucky you are that Sid didn't spend an entire promo airing every, and I mean every, piece of discombobulated diarrhea that you've ever tried to pass off as English but left everyone around you wondering what in blue blazes you just said?
Mr. Radio -- I am seriously asking -- do you realize how lucky you are that Sid didn't hand all those lines right over to Lucena for him to shoot nine promos about? I mean I'm an unbiased 3rd party here just stating a fact, Radio, and that fact is that you are one of the worst spoken individuals on the roster of this company. Not only that, but do you sometimes narrate your own material? That would be like Sid with his southern twang trying to narrate his entire promo instead of just speaking for himself when he needs to. Why not spend the extra moon gems to buy a half decent narrator who I could still poke fun at because he'd be in a much lower class than myself if he's accepting pay from you to narrate your garbage.
I'm getting off track but just wanted to try and help you out, Radio. Do as you will; I tried.
We get back to Sid Feder and Dean McGovern in the abandoned parking lot and Sid has now exited the vehicle. Dean remains in the passenger seat and looks in the rear view to see what Sid's doing -- going to the trunk and opening it up. Dean hears a bunch of clanging and heavy sounds from what must be Sid shuffling through a very crowded trunk. The grinding sounds that come next almost sound like Sid is pushing heavy things as far as he can to the very back of the trunk.
Dean notices Sid coming along over to the passenger side door with the trunk still open.
Uh oh.
Sid pulls the door open and grabs Dean's face; that's right he just palmed Dean's face like it was a basketball and shoved him back while unbuckling Dean's seat belt. Once the belt is off, Sid rips Dean from the car and throws him down onto the pavement which scrapes up Dean's right arm pretty badly on impact.
The radio is still turned on full blast but Sid easily shouts over it so Dean can understand what's about to happen--
You've got two fucking choices -- number one, I stuff you into the trunk and you take the rest of the ride in there so I'm not tempted to cut your adams apple out; number two, you don't get in the trunk and I snap your fuckin' neck right where we stand and then you end up in the trunk anyway, but for a much different ride, which won't really matter to you by then because you'll be dead. Real life dead. I can't believe I have to specify that but with joke wrestlers pretending they can die and come back, I guess I have to clarify that this won't be some shit fuckin' angle. You will be dead and gone, son.
Dean rubs his arm and pulls a Kleenex from his pocket, patting the cuts on his arm.
Look what you did. It's not a good thing when I bleed, Sid.
Did you hear what I just said or are you going to play dumb like the fuckin' rejects we're up against this weekend?
Sid slaps Dean across his face and grabs the back of his neck to lead him toward the trunk. Dean sees that a space has been cleared out and a bunch of heavy, rusted, possibly auto related parts are shoved to the back.
Are you gettin' in willingly? Or are ya gettin' stuffed in after I snap yer neck?
Fine, I'll take the trunk. Let me tell you though baby, Eli is not going to be pleased that you treated me thi--
--clunk
Sid rams Dean face first into the rear left wing of his classic Elvis style Caddy, instantly busting Dean's forehead wide open. The light on the car also falls out of place.
Look what the fuck you did to my car. It's a fuckin' pain in the ass to get a classic like this looked at with such a busy schedule like mine.
Sid punches Dean in the gut as Dean's blood spills all over.
Help! Rape!
Oh no you didn't.
Sid takes his shoe off and cracks Dean in the head with it, making Dean even more woozy. Sid takes off his sock and balls it up, stuffing it into Dean's mouth like he was stuffing cocks down Scorpio's throat to remind him it's ok to talk shit about Sid Feder when Sid still has time to respond to it.
Take it; take this sock you ! Now get in the fuckin' trunk!
Sid grabs the back of Dean's pants and the back of his shirt and just throws him into the trunk the same way he'd toss somebody back into a ring if they were trying to avoid wrestling him. Sid shoves Dean's legs and arms in all the way and then slams the trunk shut, quickly dusting off his hands and looking around calmly with a smile on his face. Sid notices some kids walking on the sidewalk where the entrance to this abandoned parking lot crosses. They're a good twenty yards away and they just appeared in view as Sid was looking around, so it's unlikely they were able to see what just transpired moments ago.
With a friendly nod and a wave of his hands, Sid appears just like any normal person who might be standing around with their car in an abandoned parking lot in the middle of the day. The kids hardly pay attention and they don't even bother waving back.
Assholes. -- Sid mumbles under his breath but in reality is glad they didn't pay much attention to him or they may have seen the blood that got on him.
Got to love how unobservant stupid fuckin' kids are. I'm not sure how this in my trunk can hang around kids so damn much and like it.
Sid gets into the car, turns the radio back down to a very low level and pulls away with a very satisfied look on his face.
One ass cockblower to go; comin' right up!
Sid exits the lot and makes his way down the street to the nearest place of business where a man such as himself can purchase some new clothes without being questioned about the blood stains he's walking in with. Surprisingly, he knows just the place and they may even be able to fix Dean up.
Yeah, Blondie? I'm comin' in with a hot one. Make sure ya open up the back fer me. You ain't gonna believe this shit.
Sid hangs up his phone and proceeds to his destination.
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Siddy baby you really didn't need to choke me that hard. (coughing a little) I can still hardly breathe. I'm feeling right now how I felt that time my friend Kyle wouldn't take his foot off of my throat while I was ejaculating everywhere and pretending to be a lawn sprinkler, but indoors, so I guess a butt sprinkler would be the term.
