Sunday, January 19th, 2014 - 3:50 PM PST - Secret Underground Bunker Thing - Secret Town, Mexico


"And when will it be ready?"

Surprise: we took a fucking detour! Right, the Organizer decided he couldn't stifle his fucking hardon for checking on every single person under his power long enough for us to leave. So, instead of doing a whole myriad of other things I could be doing, I'm stuck here in the office of some shmuck with a barely pronounceable name while he's trying to explain the scientific reasoning behind why the stupid little device he's got in his hand works to do whatever menial task it's designed to in a slightly more efficient way than the conventional, accepted way of accomplishing that same goal. Lots of theorems and equations that ultimately mean nothing to a guy like me. Half paying attention to what's being said for the sole purposes of making sure I hear him say it's time to go, I lean against the wall, watching as Professor Puberty struggles with the weight of his dropping balls long enough to say a sentence without his voice cracking.

"Uhm, it'll be ready in a couple months at the least. There's quite a lot of tests we still have to run," the shaky shithead remarks, twiddling his thumbs and looking anxiously at the ground. Slouching slightly, he nervously looks back up only to see presumably disappointed face of the Organizer staring down at him.

"Unacceptable, utterly unacceptable."

I snicker.

"Contain yourself, Lazarus."

"Yeah yeah whatever, go back to being an Asian parent."

He shakes his head, but nonetheless returns his attention to the trembling man in a white coat slumping before him.

"You assured me months ago that it would be ready for mass production by this very date."

"That was months ago man! Things happen!"

"Excuses, typical."

"Oh shit, are you going to hit him?" I ask, barely able to contain my laughter. Pushing my palms off the wall, I use the momentum to start my walk over to where the two are. The scientist or whatever he was starts to shake harder, and the Organizer shoots me a dirty look before once again looking back at the man he's currently ranting to.

"No. I don't subscribe to the school of thought that states violence is capable of solving every problem."

"Pussy-" I say before he backhands me across the face. "Ow! What the fuck happened to your pussyfest antiviolence preaching?"

"I said it didn't solve all problems, not any problem. Also, it's pacifist."

"I know." For everything he was capable of, detecting sarcasm wasn't one of them. I rub the side of my face, grimacing in feigned pain to fuck with the shaky motherfucker a little bit more.

"Anyway," he begins, straightening his tie. "You can expect a severe cut in your funding as a result of your lack of punctuality."

"With less funds, it'll take even longer to get it out!"

"Time you've already wasted."

"Come on, man. We need that money." I can't believe he was actually pleading so easily. What a little bitch.

"That's something you should have thought about before you decided my time was something you could waste without repercussion. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter if you ever produce this pipe dream of yours now. I could easily contract your research to a different group and tell them to produce it with all of your funds and do you know what would happen?"

"Wuh-what?" Was, was he crying? Tears were definitely welling up in his eyes. Come on you pussy, there's no crying in science!

"They would get it done on time without question."

"Please man, I'll get it done as soon as possible. Just let me stay on the job. I need the money though."

The Organizer sighs, looking up, above the shrinking man before him before ultimately dropping his head back down so that the two were looking each other in the eye once more. "Alright. This is your last chance [NAME EXPUNGED]. One more failure and you will be relieved of your duties."

"Wait, you fucking underground societies just fire people? What if they need to go on unemployment? Former employer: oh right there was that one stint I did where I worked on a fucking light up, robot dildo for an organization with plans on taking over the world and making the Matrix a real thing."

"Hey!" the scientist says, awkwardly hiding the prototype of whatever it is he's working on behind him. "It's not a dildo..."

"What's that? I can't hear you. Open your closet door maybe."

"Also, the word relieved means much more than a simple firing..."

"Oh, Christ."

"Yeah, you're in it with us. According to a priest I barely listened to, God isn't listening to you anymore."

"That's rude."

"That's religion."

I back up from the pair, cracking my neck. The scientist takes one more look in my direction before almost breaking his neck looking away when I decide to take a mock step in, fists clenched and raised. I drop my arms back to my side and start laughing as the Organizer and him wrap up their conversation in hushed whispers that I'm just out of earshot of. Though I'd love to hear what the latter's saying to make the former on the verge of shitting himself through the roof, I couldn't be bothered enough to step back in and seeing as though they're already whispering, they would probably just walk out (or maybe send me away) so they could finish in peace.

Fuck, maybe I should just jump in.

"Attention! Attention! Intruders found on Level Alpha!" squealed a voice over the intercom. None of us had time to react before...

Boom.

The device in the scientist's hands explodes, knocking the Organizer and I in two separate directions across the room. Smoke fills the room, making it impossible to see clearly a few inches in front of my face. Though, my field of vision was also likely clouded by the fact that I smashed my head against the wall and would likely be bleeding like a motherfucker if it weren't for the mask over my face. Despite the lack of clarity, I could definitely make out the glow of orange-ish yellow and the heat was undeniable.

There was a fucking fire. Just my luck.

The smoke flooding the room seemed to be endless. No matter how hard, how fast I wave my hand around to make it dissipate faster, it seemingly flooded faster and harder. It danced around my mask clad face, and along with the head wound, the sudden influx of Carbon Monoxide made me tired.

Like, ready to fall asleep and never wake up tired.

This wall is kinda comfortable...