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~~Dean Moxley McGovern~~ · (03-12-2014)

“From a tot to a lot”

Time: Mox'o'clock
Date: 3/11
Location: LA, Californicatia

Everyone grows up. Every boy. Every girl. Every child. Every little kid grows.

I'd like to tell you a little story about a man who still grows,

and grows and grows and grows.

His name?
Dean Moxley McGovern

His growth spurt?
Still happenin'

His length?
If you've got to ask it must mean you can't see the end

His interests?
Here's where it gets complicated and I'm just going to need you to take my hand and accept me for who I am because guess what kids!
{in Mario voice} It's-a-me! Deany!

(Love that!)

Right then the intro music begins to play and the names scroll up of everybody who has taken part in this production. There are a lot of names and it seems like the vast majority are men. While the theme "Sexy Nerd" which is sung by Dean McGovern himself plays, clips of Dean in precurious⁽¹⁾ positions with all kinds of different people, animals, plants, food and even some unidentifiable things.

⁽¹⁾ pre·cu·ri·ous [pre-kyoor-ee-uhs]
adjective
1.
eager to learn or know more about pre-teens; inquisitive about young growth.
2.
arousing or exciting speculation, interest, or attention in minors through being inexplicable or highly unusual; odd; strange: a precurious sort of person; a precurious scene.
3.
done with painstaking accuracy to age or attention to young detail: a precurious preschool inquiry.
Origin:
1275–1325; Middle English age of XWF

As many clips play by that definitely could be considered precurious, a title slowly rises up to the middle of the screen and says: Growing With Dean McGovern

Psst, hey, hey you.. didja hear the news? Well didja? Yup yup yuuuuup there is no doubt about it, THE MOX is back like a heart attack and that's a fact jack, ain't no whack ass crack in this black pack on my back but I got the knack to mack on these little zacks.

A bunch of kids who are all named Zack all run onto the set and start hugging Dean McGovern like he was Shawn Michaels back in the 90's getting trampled by fans after the guard rail tips over.

(Was there for that!)

Dean starts to lose his balance as these kids all ranging from age 8 to 12 just keep hugging and pulling and tugging on any part of Dean they can get their hands on.

Tonight we get to talk about one thing that is very important in a child's life and that would be, say it with me children.. Growing.

Dean walks along as the boys all follow him onto the Mr. Rogers set complete with the trolly tracks behind him. The little trolly comes out of its tunnel and it happen to be carrying a pair of latex gloves on top of it. It blings at Dean and he giggles, reaching over and plucking the gloves with glee. He pulls them over his hands and wiggles his eyebrows at the camera with a big shiteating grin.

You know boys and girls. Whoops, did I say girls? Teehee. Aaanywayyys I just want to break it down to some XWF jive real quick before we cross into this story of mine, kaaayyy? Thanks! Now what I want y'all to do right now is say hello to the newest member of what? Who? Where? Right over here! That's right you're looking at Eli James IV's newest recruit!

The kids all start screaming! They start slamming into Dean as he starts to bounce up and down, singing as a hard guitar riff kicks in from out of nowhere!

♪Oh shit! God damn this Eli's got in to me bad. ♫Oh shucks! This sucks I'm likin' this dude a little too much. ♪♪Oh snap! What out I'ma tellya what his thing was all about! ♫Now jump to the right, right right and watch me hop skip and jump all night. ♪Do a little booty shimmy to the left so tight and let me hear ya say hallelujah! ♪♫♪♫

A snap of those fingers. That flick of his wrist, and ooooh la la that clean 360 spin. Dean dances around, tosses off his baseball cap and starts unzipping his white and red windbreaker jacket to reveal a Congregation shit under it with Eli James IV's face on it.

Not only are you looking at the newest addition to the team for this World War but you're also looking at Eli's hand picked assistance principal of the Congregation and head of the babysitting committee. Yes! No longer will any of the Congregation need to worry about who will watch over the youngins because uncle Deany Weeny is here! So from what Sid Feder has edumacated me to so far in this whole team situation is that this Ann Thraxx chick is going to need to be babysat real hard by THE MOX! I'll tell you right now hunny if I'm given the word I will lay a lickin' on you that will have you hurting for hours.

Even more important though is me making sure that I am ready to bend over a dozen people over my knee this weekend and spank them till the cows come home. You kids think I can do it? Can I help take down the lines of Cam Lang and Mr. Radio?

One of the kids tugs on Deans wee wee to get his attention and tell him Mr. Radio is in round one so he won't be involved in round two with Dean. Dean just giggles and shrugs his shoulders, hardly knowing what that even means.

Baby I'ma just lay it down like this okay; I really don't know squat about this match other than that I am going in on Eli's team and I'm entering whenever they call out me out there from the back. I'm going to be in the building early to do a little bit of running the stairs to get these legs pumping and my heart racing.

The kids all start giggling and pushing Dean telling him they will get his heart racing. He nods his head adamantly up and down with a cock gobbling grin and eyes like he's looking at a pile of diamonds.

Ohh ooh I know you guys can get my heart pumping but that's not the only thing. For now though I we have to cut to commercial break and when we come back I'll be ready to tell my story about how I've finally grown up!

♫To♪be♪growntinued♫

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