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Scorpio · (03-12-2014)

Our scene opens as we see the XWF's only master of Dick Fu looking very confused as he makes his way through a Chuck E. Cheese parking lot. Scorpio approaches the front door of the restaurant but before he can get there he is greeted by four kids who are about ten years old or so and are wearing black suits.

Kid: Follow us, the bosses have been expectin ya.

Scorpio nods and follows the four children into the Chuck E. Cheese. Once inside the kids lead him across the dining area to a table where both of his sons are sitting down and enjoying some pizza. Scorpio's sons are also wearing the same black suits as the other kids. His nerdy son Alex looks as though he was born to wear it however his other son Chuck Jr. couldn't look more out of place since he's the spitting image of his old man. There's just something about a nice suit, bleached blond hair, and multicolored face paint that doesn't look quite right.

Kid: Please, have a seat.

Scorpio sits at the table across from his two boys as the other four black suit wearing children stand around with their backs to the table as if they're acting as body guards.

Scorpio: So would you little brahs mind telling me exactly what's going on here. You can start with how you got to Chuck E. Cheese and how you can afford to be eating the pizza you're eating.

Alex: We got grandpa to bring us.

Alex points over to a row of games where we see Scorpio's father pounding on a whack-a-mole machine.

Alex: However I paid for everything myself.

Alex reaches into his pocket and pulls out a huge wad of cash causing Scorpio's eyes to widen.

Scorpio: Where did you get that kind of money lil brah?

Alex: New government contract, they want me to further develop my transporter ray.

Scorpio: Oh you mean the same one THAT SENT ME INTO POKEMON WORLD FOR YEARS!

Chuck Jr: It was two days brah.

Scorpio: Not in Pokemon world it wasn't!

Alex: Still the point is you haven't shown any adverse side effects from that experience and that isn't why we called this family meeting.

Scorpio: Well by all means lil brah, fill me in on why you called this family meeting.

Chuck Jr: I WANT A ROCKET LAUNCHER FOR MY BIRTHDAY!

Scorpio: No.

Chuck Jr: Why not brah?

Scorpio: You'll shoot your eye out, along with anything within 15ft of you.

Chuck Jr: But Mullah Khan Hassan from school got one from his parents for his birthday.

Scorpio: And if Mullah Khan Hassan blew up the world trade center would you blow it up too?

Chuck Jr: NO! This is messed up brah, I thought this was Murica! I have the right to bare arms!

Scorpio: Redneck rhetoric doesn't work on me lil brah plus in case you forgot, YOU'RE STILL TEN!

Chuck Jr. slumps down in his seat with a scowl on his face as he pouts.

Alex: Anyway, the real reason we called this family meeting is to talk to you about your upcoming match.

Scorpio: Mkay, what about it little brahs?

Alex: Well dad...

Alex adjusts his thick rimmed black glasses.

Alex: We're going to need you to take a dive.

Scorpio: Sure no prob.... WHAT!?!?!

Chuck Jr: A dive brah, we're asking you to take one.

Scorpio: I know that both of you are opening your mouths but something must be wrong because all I hear coming out is insanity. Why on Earth would I ever throw a match especially one this big and why the hell would you two even want me to?

Alex: It's simple really, Mandii Rider.

Chuck Jr: Don't listen to him brah, the answer is Ann Thraxx!

Scorpio begins rubbing his chin as he squints at the boys. Next he holds up his index finger and moves it back and forth before finally putting his hand back down on the table.

Scorpio: What do either one of them have to do with me taking a dive?

Alex: Because I'm making damn sure you don't harm a hair on Mandii's pretty little head.

Chuck Jr: That's right brah don't touch my lady Ann either!

Scorpio: Oh I see what's going on here, you've both got crushes, and horrible taste in women.

Alex: Horrible taste in women? Have you seen Mandii? She's a goddess,but you two? Shana and Ann Thraxx? We all know that my brother is just like you dad and It would seem that he inherited your horrible taste in women as well.

Chuck Jr: WHAT!?!? How can you talk badly about Ann? She's a completely sexy tsundere, you just don't understand her complex emotional workings!

Alex: Me? I'M THE SMART ONE, you don't understand a complex anything! Besides she looks like my sack.

Chuck Jr: Brah.... I never knew you had such a pretty sack. I mean for Christ sake Ann and Angelina Jolie could be sisters!

Alex: Sisters that look like my sack, sack sisters?

The two of them are about to start fighting but a couple of the other suit wearing boys step in and break it up before they have a chance.

Scorpio: Alright lil brahs, I know you don't want your old man to beat up on the women you like but you've got to realize that they're big girls and they knew what they were getting into when they signed up for the match. I can't just go easy on them because you've laid to rest hundreds of now crunchy socks under your bed in their honor. Things just don't work like that, I've got millions of people looking for me to entertain them by putting on a good show like I always do, not to mention all of the people on my team that I'd be letting down if I didn't put everything I had into trying to win. Understand?

Alex: Oh yes, we understand and we knew that you might say something like that.

Chuck Jr: Bring out the Russian.

Scorpio: The what?

They both just ignore him as one of the black suit wearing kids walks into the men's bathroom. Scorpio keeps his eyes fixed on the bathroom door and a few moments later the child emerges. However he isn't alone...

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A huge hulking man who appears to have been in the middle of shaving when he was interrupted stomps through the restaurant behind the child. The man continues to shave his face with his axe as he arrives at the table, towering over Scorpio.

Alex: Father, we'd like you to meet Ivan.

Chuck Jr: We knew you wouldn't listen to us brah so we figured we'd get Ivan here to make you see things our way. By force if necessary.

Scorpio: You two are so grounded.

Alex: Perhaps but that's a sentence that will be hard for you to enforce if you're in a coma. Plus all you have to do is come to your senses father, there's no need for Ivan to rip your spine from your body and floss his teeth with it.

Chuck Jr: That's right brah, all you've got to do is take a dive, there's no need for violence.

Scorpio: NEVER!

Scorpio stands up and blasts the monstrous Russian with a big right hand causing him to drop his axe. That however is the extent of the damage, the large man just shakes off the blow and stares daggers at Scorpio as if looking into his very soul. Scorpio responds by throwing another big right hand which doesn't faze the beast of a man one bit. Ivan then grabs Scorpio who tries to free himself from the Russian monster's clutches but can't shake himself free. With an effortless flick of the wrist Ivan sends Scorpio sailing across the restaurant but luckily for Scorpio he lands in the ball pit and doesn't sustain any significant damage. After seeing what is going on parents run around the restaurant grabbing their children before finally heading for the exit. The restaurant practically clears out in a matter of moments except for the black suit wearing children, Scorpio's children, the Russian mastodon, Scorpio's father who continues to play whack-a-mole without a care in the world, and a few staff members who look on as they call the police. Meanwhile Scorpio tries to make his way out of the ball pit before the Russian behemoth can lumber over and continue the attack. He almost makes it too.... almost. Unfortunately for Scorpio, he climbs out of the ball pit just as the big ogre arrives. The massive brute wraps both hands around Scorpio's throat and lifts him up off of the ground. The Brah Brawler responds by delivering two head butts. Scorpio can immediately feel the effects of crashing his skull into the skull of the seemingly unstoppable goliath that stands before him. However all the big man does is smile as a little blood begins to trickle out of his nose. With another flick of the wrist the Wendy's Warrior is sent sailing through the air yet again but this time his landing isn't so graceful. His back smacks off of the whack-a-mole machine right beside the one his father is playing and he ends up in a crumpled heap on the floor. Tokens then begin spilling out of the machine burying him alive. Scorpio's dad doesn't even flinch as he keeps right on playing whack-a-mole in spite of Scorpio trying to reach out to him.

Scorpio: Hey old brah, a little help?

The colossal Russian grabs Scorpio by the legs as Scorpio's father speaks without so much as taking his eyes off his game.

Old Brah: Uh... fight your own battles, it'll make a man out of ya, yadda yadda. Now leave me be little bro I GOT MOLES TO WHACK!.

Scorpio: I hate you.... so much.... so very much.

The over-sized neanderthal starts to drag Scorpio away until...

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Scorpio delivers a kick RIGHT IN THE BABY MAKERS! He then quickly jumps up and delivers a couple of knees right to the big man's face followed by multiple elbows to the side of his head which finally send the brute down. Scorpio however isn't finished, he picks up one of the tokens and slides it into one of the whack-a-mole machines. The game starts going as Scorpio grabs the Russian savage by the back of his neck AND STARTS BASHING HIS HEAD INTO THE OUT POPPING MOLES. After repeatedly bashing the mans skull for what seems like an eternity the game ends, Scorpio drops the man onto the floor, and tickets begin to shoot out of the machine. Scorpio's father slowly turns his head as he looks back and forth between Scorpio and the tickets.

Old Brah: You gonna use those tickets?

Scorpio just shakes his head as he staggers back towards the table where his two sons are still siting.

Scorpio: We're leaving, we need to get home so you two can hurry up and start being grounded for life.

Alex: I can't believe you just wouldn't take it easy on our women.

Scorpio: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS HIRED A RUSSIAN ASSASSIN!

Alex: What do you mean an assassin?

Chuck Jr: Yeah brah, he's in our class.

Scorpio: WHAT!?!?

Scorpio looks over at the beast of a man he just defeated.

Scorpio:He looks forty at least!

Alex: Russian.

Scorpio: Shit.....

With that the cameras fade to child abuse, freakishly big Russian child abuse but child abuse none the less.

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