X-treme Wrestling Federation
pre-shitty stipulatoin promo-- meeting the spaceman and the chicken parm demon - Printable Version

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pre-shitty stipulatoin promo-- meeting the spaceman and the chicken parm demon - John Msdison 2.Faggot - 11-26-2013

[Int. of John Madison's house in San Diego, California.]


John Madison sets down what appears to be a glass of lemonade in front of his guest, Mr. Supernova. Mr. Supernova looks down at the drink with disgust, the substance doesn't look like something anyone should drink. Nova slides the glass to the middle of his table. John shrugs his shoulders, picks up the glass, and drinks the whole thing right there in front of him. John then sits down across from Nova.


Madison

"NOVA!"



The sound of John's demanding, impatient voice irritated Supernova. It was like listening to nails scrape against a chalkboard..


Mr. Supernova

"John, I'm sitting right here. You can just talk to me."



Madison

"NOVA!"



Nails, chalkboard.


Mr. Supernova

"What? What the fuck do you want!"



Madison

"Why is my planet better than your planet?"



Mr. Supernova

"Not this again..."



Mr. Supernova looked down at his watch, giving John a slight hint.


Madison

"Okay, Mr. Supernova. You're probably wondering right now why I brought you here to my lovely home."



Mr. Supernova

"Sure, John. And no-- I don't have any 'space drugs' that you can have."



Madison

"I don't want your illegal space narcotics, space man."



Mr. Supernova

"Okay, then what do you want?"



Madison

"I want you to give me some of that alien ass, bitch."



Immediately, we hear the sound of wood scraping against the laminate floor as Mr. Supernova decides that he's heard enough from John for one day.


Madison

"Wait-- don't go! "



Mr. Supernova

"I have better things to do with my time, John. Last time I came, we sat here for an hour while you tried to tell me that shitting in Juan Madison's mouth while he was asleep would help him win the Lethal Lottery, which was actually kind of a weird request since... well, you know."



Mr. Supernova, who was hinting at the idea that John Madison is the masked luchador known as Juan Madison, is cut off immediately by John.


Madison

"A weird request? Juan could have benefited greatly from eating your shit. I think it's weird that you refused to help him. It's just space shit, Nova. Why didn't you do it? You don't care about The Black Circle, is that it? We're not good enough for your magical space turds?"



Mr. Supernova

"I'm not going to have this conversation again, John."



Madison

"Fine, forget it. Juan was an asshole anyway."



Mr. Supernova

"Anything else you want to tell me before I leave?"



Madison

"I need help coming up with a match stipulation."



Mr. Supernova

"Hmm. Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. Good luck."



Nova tries to walk away after giving John his effortless idea.


Madison

"Oh come on. This match has to be special. What do you think about a zero gravity match? Do you think you could construct a venue which could accommodate that type of match?"



Mr. Supernova

"I could, but I'm not going to. I have my own match to concentrate on."



Madison

"Whatever, bitch. Did you at least bring me what I asked for?"



Mr. Supernova

"The elixir? Yes, but I don't think that I want to give it to you."



Now it's the legs from John's chair the screech against the floor.


Madison

"What? Why the fuck not?!"



Mr. Supernova

"I thought about it, and I just don't feel comfortable giving it to you. I cannot say for sure whether or not it's going to work as intended."



Madison

"Fuck you! Quit being a pussy and give me the elixir!"



John throws himself over the top of the table and grabs Mr. Supernova by the collar of his jacket. Oh shit, dream match-- right here, right now!


John is running his hands all over Mr. Supernova's body, trying to find the "elixir." Nova tries to fight John off. Out of nowhere, John sneaks in a kiss on the lips of Nova in order to throw him off.


Nova decides that he's had enough and drops John with a Dusty Rhodes style bionic elbow.



Mr. Supernova

"Here, if you want it so bad, then take it!"



Supernova pulls out a vial, about the size of his pinkie, and throws it down onto John's chest.


Madison

"Thank you, Nova."



John unscrews the cap on the vial of mysterious white fluid and smells it.


Madison

"What did you do, cum in this with your tiny space cock?"



Nova rolls his eyes.


Mr. Supernova

"Just drink it so I can make sure that you don't die."



Madison

"Fine. You better not try anything funny though. Or if you do, at least lube me up first."



More eye rolling.


John Madison holds the vial up to his lips, tips it back and consumes the elixir.



Madison

"Nothing is happening..."



Mr. Supernova

"Give it a minute."



John gives the mysterious potion a minute as Mr. Supernova suggests. His stomach makes a harsh gurgling sound, causing him great discomfort.


Mr. Supernova

"Relax John..."



But before John can relax himself, his body has already taken over!


John is now rolling around on the floor like he's possessed by a demon! Unknown Soldier in da house. The last time we saw a demon in an XWF promo, it nearly killed Peter Gilmour's fiance, Rose Smith. Could it be that the same demon has returned to the XWF to claim another soul?


John is now coughing up blood. Or-- if this is the same chicken Parmesan demon that haunted Peter Gilmour, then it might be marinara sauce.


If this is a demon, then it's giving John Madison an ass whippin' like a government animal. It's come to the point where John is actually smacking his own head against the cement floor of Supernova's lab.


Supernova looks down at John Madison and he doesn't know what to do!


He can't just let this demon consume John Madison...


Supernova kneels down next to John Madison and places his hand over John's chest. He has to try something!


Supernova concentrates as he keeps his hand pressed over the heart of John. John begins to shake some more, until finally...


John's body EXPLODES! Holy shit! Blood, semen, and feces go everywhere! Holy shit that's a lot of semen. Is this a preview of what John match with Theo Pryce might look like? What am I thinking? John just exploded!


Nova, what have you done? You just blew up John Madison! You fucking bastard. You evil fucking space fuck! You killed the king!


Mr. Supernova is in shock. He didn't expect that he would botch the procedure this badly.


Supernova looks like he might shit himself when all of a sudden...



Madison

"What do you think, Nova?"