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+---- Thread: Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me (/showthread.php?tid=8204)
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - #MemeQueen Luca Torchwick - 11-18-2013
Come at me, pussbags.
RE: Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - #MemeQueen Luca Torchwick - 11-18-2013
(11-18-2013, 04:09 PM)Olive Pendershore Said: How could anyone pass this up?
Oh.
Because they don't need your approval for the match. They just need to get the boss to arrange it.
Way to attempt something there though champ. Now go and pass out in that garbage can full of puke you woke up next to. Someone will wake you when you can be of use.
Hey sweetheart. I know you're new here, so let me offer you a tidbit of knowledge. Scratch that, how about two?
One: I know this, and the other flunkees know this.
Two: That isn't going to stop them from lining up around the block to get their licks in at me. Because, with how much hatred a lot of this roster has for me, it would take a whole hell of a lot more than one match for everyone to be involved. Even if the boss (whichever of the twenty thousand there seem to be for some odd fucking reason) books three guys, they're still alienating a locker room full of hopefuls.
In essence, they're bowing before me. To the point where Paul Heyman let me get away with this exact same stunt the first time I defended this trinket.
I do like your spunk, however. Delivery could use a little work.
Eight out of ten. Have heard stupider. Much stupider. Congrats, you aren't utterly useless.
That's a start, I guess...
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Smoke - 11-18-2013
Hmm. How about; 'you're an asshole, I think I can beat you, let's go pussywagon'?
RE: Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - #MemeQueen Luca Torchwick - 11-18-2013
(11-18-2013, 04:49 PM)Olive Pendershore Said:(11-18-2013, 04:26 PM)Smoke Man Said: Hmm. How about; 'you're an asshole, I think I can beat you, let's go pussywagon'?
Oh look. It begins. I don't know Luca....looks like you got a real winner here. I'm not sure how anyone will top this guy.
I know, it's great! Maybe I should just give it to mouthbreather number one, seeing as though he managed to string together every fucking thing people say into one convenient package.
No no, I'll wait for a bit. It's barely even a party until Gilmour shows up to make himself look like an imbecile in an attempt to sound threatening.
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 11-18-2013
I'm surprised more people aren't stepping up to directly challenge Luca. I guess I raised a bunch of pussies. Fuck XWF. I quit.
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Wallace Witasick - 11-18-2013
Wallace Witasick rolls over in his grave and sits upright.
"Even Paul Heyman would be smart enough to see that Dean Moxley is the perfect choice for Luca's 'metaphorical dick' being as it's size is similar to that of a nine year old."
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Dean Moxley McGovern - 11-18-2013
I think I just got an erection.
RE: Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - #MemeQueen Luca Torchwick - 11-18-2013
(11-18-2013, 08:31 PM)Wallace Witasick Said: Wallace Witasick rolls over in his grave and sits upright.
"Even Paul Heyman would be smart enough to see that Dean Moxley is the perfect choice for Luca's 'metaphorical dick' being as it's size is similar to that of a nine year old."
And even Wallace Witasick's corpse would be able to realize that my "metaphorical dick" isn't flopping everywhere, as I don't need to show mine. They need to show their's. See how it works to be on the top of the mountain? Oh no? Makes sense, seeing as though your show was always six feet under. Glad to see you finally reached its level.
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Dean Moxley McGovern - 11-18-2013
Dean gets even more excited at the turn of events. He pulls his chair up and grabs a bag of extra butter popcorn. He starts pumping his fist into the air and some of his friends join him in a chant:
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
RE: Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Wallace Witasick - 11-18-2013
(11-18-2013, 08:37 PM)4 x Better Luca Arzegotti Said:(11-18-2013, 08:31 PM)Wallace Witasick Said: Wallace Witasick rolls over in his grave and sits upright.
"Even Paul Heyman would be smart enough to see that Dean Moxley is the perfect choice for Luca's 'metaphorical dick' being as it's size is similar to that of a nine year old."
...my "metaphorical dick" isn't flopping everywhere, as I don't need to show mine. They need to show their's.
"Sorry, I misunderstood, I didn't realize you were interested in an actual dick showing contest. I thought you wanted a legitimate opponent for the pay per view. My bad. Should we book you against Rose Smith instead?"
RE: Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - #MemeQueen Luca Torchwick - 11-18-2013
(11-18-2013, 08:54 PM)Wallace Witasick Said:(11-18-2013, 08:37 PM)4 x Better Luca Arzegotti Said:(11-18-2013, 08:31 PM)Wallace Witasick Said: Wallace Witasick rolls over in his grave and sits upright.
"Even Paul Heyman would be smart enough to see that Dean Moxley is the perfect choice for Luca's 'metaphorical dick' being as it's size is similar to that of a nine year old."
...my "metaphorical dick" isn't flopping everywhere, as I don't need to show mine. They need to show their's.
"Sorry, I misunderstood, I didn't realize you were interested in a dick showing contest. I thought you wanted a legitimate opponent for the pay per view. My bad. Should we book you against Rose Smith then?"
Cute. Making a comment on the only thing that you can that won't bring more shame upon your corpse than already exists. Nevermind the comments about your failure of a show, because Luca makes a couple of dick jokes, and suddenly, you attempt to twist it into something nice and "embarrassing" because you weren't all too confident with the state of your own manhood when you were alive.
Because again, as the champion, the man with the title that others want, needs to actually prove that he deserves the match (you know, or maybe not, the reason behind the metaphorical dicks comment in the first place). Fucking brilliant, Witasick! It's an utter shock that your vision of Warfare was a fucking flop, and that you're a fucking corpse now.
Oh wait, no it isn't. You'd make champions repeat their accomplishments when they already were penciled in to defend.
So, please. Go back to misinterpreting everything ever. Because at the end of the day, I'm wearing my metaphorical dick on my shoulder.
My possible opponents have yet to whip them out.
Come on, pussies! Wallace Witasick's corpse will be my opponent at this rate!
RE: Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Wallace Witasick - 11-18-2013
(11-18-2013, 09:05 PM)4 x Better Luca Arzegotti Said:(11-18-2013, 08:54 PM)Wallace Witasick Said:(11-18-2013, 08:37 PM)4 x Better Luca Arzegotti Said: ...my "metaphorical dick" isn't flopping everywhere, as I don't need to show mine. They need to show their's.
"Sorry, I misunderstood, I didn't realize you were interested in a dick showing contest. I thought you wanted a legitimate opponent for the pay per view. My bad. Should we book you against Rose Smith then?"
Cute. Making a comment on the only thing that you can that won't bring more shame upon your corpse than already exists. Nevermind the comments about your failure of a show, because Luca makes a couple of dick jokes, and suddenly, you attempt to twist it into something nice and "embarrassing" because you weren't all too confident with the state of your own manhood when you were alive.
Because again, as the champion, the man with the title that others want, needs to actually prove that he deserves the match (you know, or maybe not, the reason behind the metaphorical dicks comment in the first place). Fucking brilliant, Witasick! It's an utter shock that your vision of Warfare was a fucking flop, and that you're a fucking corpse now.
Oh wait, no it isn't. You'd make champions repeat their accomplishments when they already were penciled in to defend.
So, please. Go back to misinterpreting everything ever. Because at the end of the day, I'm wearing my metaphorical dick on my shoulder.
My possible opponents have yet to whip them out.
Come on, pussies! Wallace Witasick's corpse will be my opponent at this rate!
"Yeah I guess you're right Luca. WE can't seem to lure Moxley into opposing you. But hey we tried. I saw Moxley waving his 'real' dick around on the 'playground' the other day talking about how he wanted a title match. But apparently he doesn't have the 'testicular fortitude' to accept this challenge here. I was only trying to 'stir the pot' because I thought that was part of a GM's job description, but I guess that may have changed since I left. My bad. The big dick jokes weren't enough to get that child molester enticed in this match . As it appears at this moment he's content with sitting on the sidelines. Fair enough. As HARD as we tried with our dick metaphors they still weren't good enough. I hate to say this but I think Luca and Shane may be right. The XWF is a bunch of pussies."
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Walter "Waldo" Wilcox - 11-18-2013
I'll fight.
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Peter Fn Gilmour - 11-18-2013
luca has a metaphorical dick?! I didnt know he had one.
and still obsessed eh luca? suck my dick!! chump!!
RE: Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Tony Santos - 11-18-2013
(11-18-2013, 09:05 PM)4 x Better Luca Arzegotti Said:(11-18-2013, 08:54 PM)Wallace Witasick Said:(11-18-2013, 08:37 PM)4 x Better Luca Arzegotti Said: ...my "metaphorical dick" isn't flopping everywhere, as I don't need to show mine. They need to show their's.
"Sorry, I misunderstood, I didn't realize you were interested in a dick showing contest. I thought you wanted a legitimate opponent for the pay per view. My bad. Should we book you against Rose Smith then?"
Cute. Making a comment on the only thing that you can that won't bring more shame upon your corpse than already exists. Nevermind the comments about your failure of a show, because Luca makes a couple of dick jokes, and suddenly, you attempt to twist it into something nice and "embarrassing" because you weren't all too confident with the state of your own manhood when you were alive.
Because again, as the champion, the man with the title that others want, needs to actually prove that he deserves the match (you know, or maybe not, the reason behind the metaphorical dicks comment in the first place). Fucking brilliant, Witasick! It's an utter shock that your vision of Warfare was a fucking flop, and that you're a fucking corpse now.
Oh wait, no it isn't. You'd make champions repeat their accomplishments when they already were penciled in to defend.
So, please. Go back to misinterpreting everything ever. Because at the end of the day, I'm wearing my metaphorical dick on my shoulder.
My possible opponents have yet to whip them out.
Come on, pussies! Wallace Witasick's corpse will be my opponent at this rate!
I've made my intentions clear, Luca. I want in on this god damn thing ALONGSIDE my Lethal Lotto match. I talked about your testicles not dropping yet!! Do puberty jokes not count for anything anymore?!? Nothing?? I even plugged L'Oreal for no god damn reason, except to use it to make fun of you!! I hate French people and I hate French companies, Luca.
Oh, and fuck you. We've never faced off one on one, so why not let me embarrass you while I'm running my own little masochistic gauntlet (with the sole intention of making my turkey smothered in gravy the next day taste THAT much better)?
I want your belt, and I wanna help your balls drop by turning you in to a MAN in that ring. Oh wait, now I sound like Dean...
Well, fuck it. Get your bitchdaddy to book this shit.
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Wallace Witasick - 11-18-2013
"SUCK MY DICK METAPHORICALLY!"
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Mystica - 11-18-2013
Did someone say metaphor? Because no one consulted me.
God's sakes, Luca. Let it never be said that I don't like you. I do. I think you're a man with his eyes on the prize: the prize of...well, I don't really know. You're something of an enigma, no? A rebel without a cause. No, no. That's all...that's all cliched. More of just a rebel. Another stained tile on the bloodied bathroom floor. But that's not a bad thing, necessarily. You have guts. But some people would like to see what they look like arranged on a fine silver platter.
But...metaphorical dicks. Okay, so signifier...dicks? Right. And the signified? Open for interpretation. I'll leave that to your imagination. You have a good head. Maybe it will go the way of John the Baptist. More platter imagery. Dinner is served, mate.
I'm not going to fight you, Luca. Not in this fashion. I'm not going to grovel at your dirty feet and beg for a shot. I'll earn it in some manner. Heck, Madness isn't even my territory! Only a fool would jump in there without backup! But this is the Lethal Lottery -- quite different. Warfare's territory, if I'm not mistaken. Home turf. Safe and sound. I'm not going to beg, but I'm not going to refuse. Leave your tainted, HIV-infested needles at home. You're coming into my word. And the borders are lined with the crucified.
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - John Msdison 2.Faggot - 11-19-2013
*John pulls out his penis, walks up to Luca, and hugs him while forcing Luca's head onto his breast.*
Luca, my brother. Unlike the rest of these superstars, I'm not afraid to admit that it would be an honor to wrestle you for the European Title. In fact, it would please me so much that im willing to beg for this opportunity. Choose me, my brother.
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Peter Fn Gilmour - 11-19-2013
^^creepy
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - #MemeQueen Luca Torchwick - 11-19-2013
Well, John. I would have no qualms about going up against you, had I not made my decision already.
Tony Santos, ladies and gents.
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Paul Heyman - 11-19-2013
It warms my heart to see you all wasting your time. Luca Arzegotti is not the General Manager. Paul Heyman is.
If Tony gets to challenge Luca at Lethal Lottery, it'll be because I made that decision. Not Luca. Not Tony. Not Madison. Not even
.You can all suck my dick as I digress!
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - Miranda Tigris - 11-19-2013
OOC: Yeah guys, you heard the man! If you have any snarky comments to make toward Luca or anyone else in hopes of getting a title shot, head over to Heyman's thread located in this same forum. I would code it in this reply, but I'm far too lazy to!
Wave Your Metaphorical Dicks at Me to Prove You Got What it Takes to Lose to Me - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 11-19-2013
Watch yourself Paul or the Twinkies might suddenly be gone again. You remember that right? I could make them disappear again, Paul...