Shove It: Vive La Revolution 9/22/13 Part 1

Night fell on Chateau Bonaguil and pyros shot off from the top of the castle, the townsfolk and entertainers had come to the Castle on the hill for what was promised to be an amazing night. A camera panned in on Alexandra who was sitting on a throne, in the courtyard where a makeshift ring had been set up. She smiled evilly, and turned to Joy and Payne her special guests for the evening. They smiled back and she stood, lifting the microphone to her lips.

"Welcome everyone to Chateau Bonaguil. I promised everyone a night they wouldn't forget and I intend on giving it to you all. On with the show!"

The crowd went wild, cheering for her. She waved her hands and the first event went underway, as she returned to her throne, knowing what was coming next. She smiled up at Mystica who stood next to her, taking his hand. The woman and the she/he/thing circle each other as the flames roar at ringside. They are about to lock up when the man/lady holds his hand out in front of him as if to stop Nash. He reaches for a microphone, which is thrown towards him over the flames. He wipes his already sweating brow and lifts the mic to his lips.

RAYNE: Stop, Christie sweetheart, and hear me out! You may hate me, but iAm Rayne, and iAm going to fill you with happiness through the power of song!

With that, Rayne opens his mouth and begins to sing, Nash immediately hits a superkick, sending Rayne crashing to the floor! Before another word can be said, the lights suddenly go out, and a video plays on the XTron.

The lights return to the arena, and in the ring stands Casey Jones, accompanied by Michael River! The flames have disappeared, and the eyes of everyone are on the four people inside the ring! River immediately lifts Rayne to his feet……..and delivers the Decisive Blow! Suddenly the entire XWF roster pours out of the locker room in a straight single file line! Into the ring slides Elisha, who, along with River, lifts Rayne to his feet, holding his arms back. Jones removes the glasses from his face, takes a step back………………………….AND STRIKES!

JONES JUST HOOKED RAYNE IN THE GABBER M8! RAYNE FALLS LIKE A SACK OF SHIT!

Jones and River silently exit the ring as Nathaniel Adolph Zachary Idenhaus slides in! He reaches into his pocket….AND TAKES OUT A MOTHERFUCKING STUN GUN! He immediately shocks Rayne to the floor, who twitches like a half-dead rabbit. NAZI IS IN THE MOTHERFUCKING ZONE TONIGHT! He bounces off the ropes before delivering THE FUHRER’S ELBOW! HE DAMN NEAR KILLED HIM! Now Archie Lawson has entered the ring and is accompanied by Smoke Man! Smoke Man lights a match while Archie sprays the deodorant can, creating a flame thrower-esque tool that burns the shit out of Rayne!

DID SOMEBODY ORDER BARBEQUED SHEMALE?!

Rayne screams in agony as the TIGRIS CORPORATION make their way to the ring. The roster parts as two masked men storm the ring and beat the living shite out of Rayne with nightsticks! They halt the beating momentarily as another man enters the ring and stands over the fallen Rayne…..before STABBING HIM IN THE NECK WITH A SYRINGE! Rayne froths at the mouth and convulses as the others look on gleefully! NAZI in particular stares with a fondness as the unnamed man continues the work of the famous Dr Joseph Mengele!

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?!?!?!?! HULK HOGAN IS HERE! HULK HOGAN! HULK HOGAN!

HOGAN RUSHES INTO THE RING AND NAILS THE TWITCHING RAYNE WITH A BIG BOOT! WHAT’S THIS?! NAZI HAS ENTERED THE RING AS WELL! HOGAN AND NAZI BOTH HIT THE ROPES…………………..

AND NAIL A DOUBLE LEG DROP! AS GOD AS MY WITNESS RAYNE IS BROKEN IN HALF!

Hogan and Nazi exit the ring…as JOHN BLACK ENTERS! He straps a rucksack to Rayne’s leg and exits the ring. Well that didn’t seem very violent. What a let down.

Wait a minute…WHAT’S THAT?! It’s J.I.H.A.D.!

JIHAD: DEATH TO THE INFIDELS!

JIHAD pushes a button on his wrist….AND TAKES RAYNE’S LEG CLEAN OFF! The man-lady howls in pain, crying like a little bitch! We look to the left and HERE THEY COME! IT’S THE DREAM TEAM!

BARNEY MOTHERFUCKING GREEN IS BACK, AND HE’S WITH CRIMSON DONG!

Green wastes no time in entering the ring, and he puts RAYNE IN THE ANAL SEX CAMEL CLUTCH! Rayne starts to scream in pain, but he is soon silenced…

BY CRIMSON DONG’S MASSIVE SCHLONG!

Dong cockslaps Rayne into the next motherfucking century! Holy shit! The two are really going at it, before they leave to go and fuck some trannies, yo’.

Micah and Zak Misery enter the ring and push Rayne out, blood dripping from gaping hole where his leg should be. They drag him slowly, agonisingly to the top of the stage where Alexandra has stepped down off her throne, removing the cover from the Guillotine, as if she was channeling King Madison.

HOLY SHIT! IT’S ALEXANDRA CALLAWAY! AND SHE HAS THE GUILLOTINE!

Rayne’s head is placed slowly into the guillotine as Callaway looks on with a smile. He looks up helplessly and opens his mouth. Callaway listens carefully for an apology.

RAYNE: iAm who iAm honey, iWas born this way!

"And I am who I am!"

He tries to make a heart symbol with his fingers, but Callaway pulls the lever! The guillotine blade slams down and takes Rayne’s head clean off! Archie Lawson runs up and kicks Rayne’s head to Smoke Man, who passes it to John Black. They’re using it like a soccer ball! Everyone at ringside cheers, as the screen fades to black…

WINNER:
Everyone in the fed.

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Credit to: Dr. Casey Jones