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+--- Thread: Can I get some Feedback? Please... (/showthread.php?tid=5081)
Can I get some Feedback? Please... - AlexandraCallaway - 07-31-2013
Can I get some feedback or constructive criticism for my Warfare rps for this week?
First
Second
Third
Can I get some Feedback? Please... - Jessie-ica Diaz - 07-31-2013
Really liked all three pieces, but there's two complaints that I have with them. I'll air them here, if I may.
1. Using colored text for dialogue is good and fine (I use it for all my dialogue, except small characters, fuck them) but using colored text and putting the character whose text color it is' name with it is overkill. Pet peeve, really.
2. The subtle actions in the middle of pieces of dialogue could use more in the vain of splitting the paragraph into two, and giving the action a line on its own. Again, pet peeve.
So yeah, my two cents on the matter.
I think I'm broke by now though.
Can I get some Feedback? Please... - John Msdison 2.Faggot - 08-02-2013
I'd lighten the text color a bit too. I never liked dark on dark, it's a bit unpleasant to read at times, especially if it's paragraphs.
I liked your third though. It was a solid trash talk piece.
I noticed that you don't really come at your opponents that hard in the other two pieces though. That's cool, but I would try to get a better story going in the background and not just a standard sit-down interview. Mr. Satellite is a good example of this. He'll have some crazy story going on but then he transitions into a sitdown interview with Steve Sayors.