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+--- Thread: 001;001 The Beginning - An Introduction (/showthread.php?tid=48535)
001;001 The Beginning - An Introduction - Tropical Punch - 02-19-2025
The car wash. We see Tropical Punch pulling his humvee in, caked in mud. It’s his birthday, today, and he’s celebrating via getting a car wash. He looks warmly at the camera as it catches up to him, the crew of the wash all taking point and moving his vehicle along as he stands, smiling his big gap toothed grin at the screen.
Hi, I’m Tropical Punkth, it is tho good to be in the EkthWF. I have entered the Ideth of Markth tournament, becauthe I know I am dethtined to be one of the betht.
Tropical Punch’s high pitched Brooklyn accent touched with a lisp graces your ears.
Lithen, I don’t know what you guyth think of me, thinth thith ith my firtht match ever. I have been training, night and day, moving up in bingo hallth, flea marketth, and carnivalth. I knew in my thoul it wath what I needed to do, to thign the contract to go out and thock the world by becoming King of the Ring.
Tropical Punch puts on a conic birthday hat. It’s his birthday, after all, he’s getting a car wash. He pulls a sandwich out of the pocket of his overalls and munches on it favorably. It must be one of his favorite foods.
Peanut butter and thtrawberry jam, my favorite. It’th thimple but delithiouth.
Oh, we were right, it is one of his favorite foods! Look at us looking at the adorable man with the cutest lisp. The car wash staff lead approaches TP. TP shakes her hand.
Oh, Mr. Punch, we’re glad you’re back for your fifth wash of the week.
TP nods.
You know, I gotta take the big truck out into the mud and drive around, it’th why I have thith for!
TP laughs, bits of gnashed peanut butter and jelly in his teeth. The car wash staff laughs as well. It’s a good time.
Well, Mr. Punch, we’re all really impressed and quite proud you won the tournament at the local flea market to get a chance to compete in the Ides of March tournament! I mean, you’re no slouch.
Well, thank you, Pauline.
Pauline, the car wash staffer, nods a silent ‘you’re welcome’.
I apprethiate the thentimentth, but to the retht of the field in the tournament, well, they didn’t have to wrethle at a flea market.
There’s Atara Raven, the’th been in this thport a very long time, the’th accomplithed a lot, but thethe dayth, who knowth. The is going head to head with Matthiath Thyn, who hath been Revoluthion Champion forever. Tough, tough competithion.
Larry Tact ith well known throughout all of wrethling, he’th ath much a houthehold name ath anybody, you know? Tharah Wolf ith ath real ath it getth. Thcoopth McGee ith a living legend, ethpethially at flea markets. Kieren King ith the reigning King, he’th been to the mountain top before, he can do it again. Tholomon Kline ith thuppothed to be a big deal, Tommy Gunn ith a wealth of informathion in the ring, Aurora ith a former Tag Team Champion, Yelena Gorgo ith a threat, Tatiana Jolee hath defeated people who’ve never even heard of me, Dickie Watthon hath been everywhere in wrethling. Enigma ith well ekthperienthed, and Charlie Nickleth is a thtaple of the EkthWF.
Then there’th my opponent, Luthy Wilde.
Pauline, who patiently listened to TP as he talked about the Ides of March tournament, looks quite happy for TP.
Well, you’re no slouch, Mr. Punch. You’ve earned your place in the tournament, and on that note, we’d like to say happy birthday to you by giving you this car wash for free!
Hey, who thayth there’th no thuch thing ath a free lunth, or in thith cathe, car wath?
The bright blue humvee pulls up beside TP and Pauline. Another staffer hops out of the truck. TP gets into the driver’s seat and peels out of the parking lot. Other cars in traffic swerve and blare their horns at the horrible driving of TP. He pulls down the block and to the right is a huge flat area of mud. Just mere seconds after getting the free car wash, TP is deep in the mud, riding around and splashing it up in his massive vehicle, looking all too happy while still noshing on a peanut butter and jelly.
Suddenly, we hear “Party Rock Anthem” coming from one of TP’s pockets. His ringtone is set to max because we hear it over an engine and marshland getting splattered around. TP pulls out of the bog, back onto the main road, once again nearly causing a collision as he retrieves his phone from his bibbed denim.
Hello?
TP listens inquisitively.
Oh, look, I’m thorry but you got the wrong number. No, that’th okay, it’th nithe to meet you, my name ith Tropical, but I get callth for Gary all the tho it’th no biggie. Yeah, I think he had thith number before.
TP listens to the other person, a random stranger who dialed him by mistake.
Oh, what? Gary maketh thculptureth out of chocolate? Man, that guy thoundth awethome!
TP pulls back into the car wash. He waves at Pauline, who waves back.
Mr. Punch, back so soon?
TP points to his phone, letting her know he was on a call.
Well, it wath nithe talking to you, Thawn. Give me a call later or thomething.
TP disconnects with Shawn, or maybe Thawn.
Hi, Pauline, I get a free wath becauthe it’th my birthday?
Pauline smiles and nods.
All day, Mr. Punch!
TP exits his vehicle again as we happily watch his car get washed. He departs, and goes to a parking lot where someone, for his birthday, has hired TP several strippers, clowns, and even a few stripper clowns and clown strippers (and we all know the difference between those). They all lob gallons of cake, so much cake, which is a solid, it’s measured in liquid measure, at his truck, causing the third wash of the day. Upon leaving, TP goes to a farmer’s market where someone has a baseball pitching machine set up, filled to the top with fresh tomatoes. The tomatoes pelt the truck, and in short order, TP gets his fourth wash! TP then drives to an abandoned drive-in movie theater, where the stripper clowns (NOT the clown strippers) douse his vehicle with honey then feathers. TP gets his fifth car wash within 45 minutes. He chomps down on another peanut butter and jelly sandwich, then departs, headed to his very first XWF Press Conference. He exits the vehicle, rolling up the sleeves of his black long sleeve t-shirt, and walks up to a podium after making a dramatic entrance in his humvee.
Hence why it needed to be so clean.
Hello, EkthWF. My name ith Tropical Punkth, and there are many people who jutht want to make fun of my name, becauthe they never heard of me, becauthe they’re inthecure, and becauthe they jutht can’t beat me.
I am proud to be the newetht thignee to the EkthWF, I am honored to rethieve an opportunity to compete for the crown ath King of the EkthWF.
I hope I don’t let the fanth down in the ring, becauthe while I acknowledge they’re there, I kind of thilenthe them when I wrethle.
The thame way Luthy will thilenth herthelf when the ith fathing an opponent the is afraid of.
Thee, if you feed Luthy thomebody the thinks the can beat eathy, well, Luthy will talk about it.
I ekthpect Luthy to have plenty to thay about me while the goeth off about her whole life while glothing over anything embarathing.
TP looks frankly at the camera while you use your context clues to determine when he’s saying ‘the’ or ‘she’ like a grownup.
I don’t come to the ring with drama. I don’t come to the ring with ithues. I don’t come to the ring with thome inthithtanthe that I detherve recognithion for a career you haven’t theen with linkth to Ekth, because Elon Muthk is a lother and I won’t uthe hith platform, putting money in hith pocket, while dithagreeing with hith politicth.
I feel like Luthy ith trapped here.
The thinkth the offithe ith here to do her favorth.
Really, tho, the ithn’t here to be coddled, nor given favorth.
Otherwithe, the wouldn’t be thtuck in the ring with me.
Theriouthly, who put a fourty-year-old lady into thith tournament thinking?
Not thinking thith or that, but thinking anything?
Luthy doeth all the betht flea market moveth.
Pele kick? Yep, I have theen it and beat it.
Wylde Liberathion? Everybody on the flea market thiurcut doeth that.
Luthy ithn’t anything thpethial. The’s jutht a name inthithted on by thome patht, if the had a future, the’d have accomplithed it already.
It’th cute Luthy went and ethtablithed a career in UGWThee.
EkthWF ith where I went becauth thothe people are jutht another extenthion of the flea market.
Hell, Thenturion won a title there, and when he came to the flea market, I threw him around the ring with thuplekthes.
I can throw thuplekthes better than any other wrethler, and when you watth Warfare, you’ll thee for yourthelf.
I’m a thuplekth mathine.
Luthy, after I pin you, I ekthpect you to potht thomething on Ekth about you and THEB being dominant in UGWThee, becauthe you don’t care about winning in the EkthWF ath much ath I do.
I will prove I am worth my name.
You prove you’re worth thomething thomewhere elthe.