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+--- Thread: Oculus Insipid: Chapter Two (/showthread.php?tid=47807)
Oculus Insipid: Chapter Two - Prof. Bobby Bourbon - 07-12-2024
Bobby and Cyberjaw, the man with the cybernetic jaw, are both seen looking contemplative. Bobby once again lifts the strange device, what used to be the Tannamatic Sockometer. Bobby points it at Cyberjaw, who cringes.
“Don’t point that thing at me again, who knows what it will…” Bobby presses the button on the device as Cyberjaw is mid sentence.
“Dislikes buying laundry detergent.”
“Huh. Hey, get someone else in here.” Bobby looks up at Cyberjaw, who looks offended Bobby just scanned him with the weird device again.
“You’re not going to point that at me again, are you? You don’t even know how it works, what if it’s giving me a tumor? What if it’s giving you a tumor?” Cyberjaw pleads with Bobby to gain a finer understanding of the thing he’s holding. Bobby half shrugs.
“Right, I need to test it more. Get someone else really quick, we’ll see how they feel about buying laundry soap.” Bobby gestures for Cyberjaw to get a move on in this task. He leaves the office, and Bobby eyes the device curiously. He opens a drawer, knowing the coast is clear, and pulls out another device and presses a button on it, seeming to scan what used to be the Tannamatic Sockometer, and nothing happens. As he does, Diamondback, the man who can blend into any crowd, saunters in followed by Cyberjaw. Diamondback looks at Bobby with wonder.
“Hey, Cyberjaw said you had a new gizmo.” Diamondback points at the other device Bobby is holding. “Wait, why are you using your Geiger counter on that thing?” Bobby places the Geiger counter down and picks the weird device up again pointing it at Diamondback. “Wait, what does it…”
Bobby presses the button on the strange device.
“Owns a beanbag chair.”
“Wait, how’d it…” Bobby points the device at Cyberjaw again and presses the button.
“Dislikes buying laundry detergent.”
“Go get someone else, are there any more Bourbon Men around?” Bobby folds his arms across his chest, the odd device firmly in his grasp.
“What does it say when you point it at yourself?” Diamondback asks Bobby the obvious, which Bobby brushes off.
“I don’t know, it told me I don’t own tan socks a couple of minutes ago, is Axe Mannix around? Did Ash finally quit?” Suddenly, through the door to the office walks Joe Biden, President of the United States.
“Bobby, I’m calling on you to help…” Bobby points the device at Joe and activates it.
“Considers himself a car guy.”
“Yes I do.” Joe puts his aviator glasses on like he’s prepared to take a spin in his convertible and leaves, completely failing to follow up on the help he needed from Bobby.
“Huh, that thing seems to be able to determine the most boring fact about someone!” Cyberjaw is conclusive in his statement. Bobby nods in agreement, pointing the thing at himself and giving it a go.
“Eats hot dogs.”
Bobby furrows his brow.
“That’s like one of my charms, that’s not boring!” Bobby points the device at himself and presses again.
“Eats hot dogs.”
Bobby rolls his eyes as Diamondback interjects.
“Bro, you’re so exciting that the act of eating a hot dog sounds boring!” Diamondback’s enthusiasm in saying this is belied by a voice coming from Bobby’s couch.
“Hello, my friends!”
Bobby looks over at Doctor Louis D’Ville as both Diamondback and Cyberjaw are completely startled. He points the device at Doc.
“Loves the smell of fresh cut grass.”
“Well,” Doc laughs, “who doesn’t?”