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Cordon Bleu - Ham Sandwich - 01-12-2024
Sal loved the same old, same old at lunch every day. For the past fifteen and a half years, every day at work, it was a balogna sandwich with mustard and cheese. For some ungodly reason, though, Sal's lunch got ruined on the way to work when a Literal Gorilla sat on it on the bus after doing battle with what looked like a couple of Mortal Kombat characters. He walked into the office a grump that day. Hold all his calls, have to be careful with the coffee since that sandwich won't be there to balance out, and finally, Sal decided instead of doing anything productive for the day over a balogna sandwich, he would order something.
Sal opens DoorDash, something he uses seldom, but slides down looking for a deli that will be able to provide him with what he loves and craves, that same simple homemade balogna and cheese sandwich. He finds one local shop, and is delighted to see they can do that for him! He makes a few selections, agrees to pay, and goes back about his day.
The local shop gets the order, but are completely out of balogna. As a substitution, one of the deli workers uses ham, placing it on a nice roll with a slice of American cheese, a slice of tomato, some red onion slices, a smear of mayo, and a dab of horseradish.
A ham sandwich is prepared.
The deli jockey rolls the sandwich up in paper and puts a piece of tape on it, bags it, stapling it shut, then writes the number 811 on it. A delivery driver walks in, notices the sandwich, and snags it, ready to deliver to Sal.
Dionysus happens to be walking in front of a building as a DoorDash driver steps out of a car, then trips on the curb. Dion looks on in surprise as he reaches up to catch the bag, an open manhole right behind him! Dion catches the bag, and avoids the manhole. Dion helps the driver up and walks him inside, and to Sal. Sal says thanks, to the driver and Dion, and checks the sandwich. He notices it's ham, and not at all balogna. This is the straw that broke the camel's back!
Sal immediately leaves a scathing review of the deli on DoorDash then orders Chinese food through there! The DoorDash driver takes the sandwich and shrugs, and walks past Dion. Dion walks out of the building, headed on his merry way, when he misses a wet floor sign at the exact same time as the DoorDasher. They both slip, and Dion lands on his back as the ham sandwich lands squarely on his chest.
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RE: Cordon Bleu - Dionysus - 01-12-2024
KICKOUT!
…Sort of.
Dionysus grabs the ham sandwich off his chest and holds it up, inspecting it before taking a bite.
“Hmm…could use some dijon mustard.”