Let me tell you a little story about Edward - Printable Version +- X-treme Wrestling Federation (https://xwf99.com) +-- Forum: Anarchy Boards (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=118) +--- Forum: Anarchy RP Board (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=116) +--- Thread: Let me tell you a little story about Edward (/showthread.php?tid=47028)

Let me tell you a little story about Edward - Mastermind - 10-25-2023 TUESDAY 24TH OCTOBER 2023 OUTSIDE CORPUS CHRISTI, TEXAS UNITED STATES The camera fades onto a road leading into Corpus Christi, Texas, as we are fast approaching Thursday Night Anarchy where a speech Halloween event will be taking place.  We find it a dark and rainy night. Suddenly with the rain, a piece of lightning rips across the sky and we see a brief shot of Mastermind standing there. He walks towards the camera as thunder bolts are now shooting out of the sky hitting the ground on both sides of Mastermind. He comes to a halt, takes off his hat, and looks at the camera. "I stand before you today to introduce you to a wrestling sensation like no other. Behold, the one, the only, Edward the Great. Yes, you heard me right,  he thinks he's great but he's nothing more than a wrestler who was frozen in ice from prehistoric times. Move over, Stone Cold Steve Austin, because we've got Edward the Great. "I know what you're thinking, 'What could be more exciting than a wrestler who's been preserved in ice for centuries?" I mean, who needs modern wrestling techniques when we can have a old man modern caveman who thinks he can wrestle, am I right? "Now, as we all know, the prehistoric era was a time of intellectual enlightenment, where the pinnacle of culture was drawing on cave walls and wearing fur loincloths. And clearly, the absolute best specimen to represent this era is our man, Edward. He's been living the dream since the last Ice Age. Forget about all those wrestlers who spend years in training and conditioning; Edward has mastered the art of lying perfectly still and being ice-cold, quite literally.  And with that he has been forced to shout all day long because he can't bear the time he was trapped in ice, and was so cold that once he thawed he had to yell to forget about the pain. "I can just picture the training regimen now: 'Step one: practice your best 'prehistoric man' grunts and growls. Step two: make sure you're always on the rocks... literally.    Step three, because you are always feeling the cold from being trapped in ice all that long, make sure you shout all the time.' "Clearly, this is what it takes to be a successful wrestler in the modern era. Who needs agility, speed, or wrestling skills when you can just bring a piece of history to the ring? "So, in conclusion, I think we can all agree that Edward the Prehistoric Wrestler is a true marvel of sports entertainment. Who needs all those flashy moves and innovative wrestling techniques when you can just thaw out a frozen caveman and let him loose in the ring? Wrestling will never be the same, and for that, we thank you, Edward, for keeping it, well, prehistoric.  And lets not forget and to keep our hands over our ears when Edward is around because there is never ever any peace or quiet. "I'm coming for the Anarchy title whether you like it or not Edward.    It's been frozen to you for quite a long time.  It's time to take it away from you. "Because I've got two words for you which you may want to heed when it comes time for doing so.  When I've beaten you up so badly that every time you keep getting up, I keep putting you down.  The last time I do it, I will tell you to:" Mastermind then smirks his infamous smirk. "I've got 6 last words left for you, but let me put it in the way that you will understand yourself.... "I WANT THE ANARCHY TITLE BACK..." Mastermind then puts his hat back on and walks back into the darkness and disappears.