X-treme Wrestling Federation
Running Wild - Printable Version

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Running Wild - Bulk Logan - 09-10-2023


We open inside of a dimly lit bar that’s alive with chatter and the clinking of glasses. At the center of the room with a circle of people around him is Bulk Logan. His loud laughter echoes over the background noise as he keeps buying rounds for anyone and everyone, clearly enjoying the attention.

Bulk, with a wide grin, suddenly puts one of the younger patrons in a playful headlock, flexing his biceps for effect.

"You feel that, brother? That's the power of Bulkamania!"

Young Patron, gasping but with a smile: "I give! I give!"

The crowd erupts in laughter, clinking their glasses together. Another older patron in Hells Angels leathers nudges his friend and points at Bulk.

Hells Angel: "Hey, Bulk! Think you can take me on?"

Bulk Logan winks, releasing the young man and quickly sweeping the older guy off his feet into a BIG bear hug, lifting him several inches off the ground. Everyone around them laughs and cheers, recording the playful tussle on their phones.

"This is what happens when you challenge the Bulkster at his own game, dude!"

A woman from the back shouts: "Put my husband down, Logan! Before you force me to tag myself in!"

Bulk grins, looking towards the woman who shouted. She stands, hands on hips, wearing a leather jacket with a Hells Angels patch. Her eyes have a mix of amusement and a challenge in her glare.

Bulk gently sets the Hells Angel down, both laughing heartily.

Hells Angel, rubbing his back jokingly: "Alright, alright, you still got it, Bulkster!"

Bulk, flexing his arms: "Always do, brother!"

The woman approaches, smirking: "Just be careful, Logan. That's my man you're throwing around. And we Angels always get even!"

Bulk Logan, laughing: "Noted, ma'am. Drinks on me for the whole club! Cheers to the Hells Angels! And, uh… If you want to throw me around later…"

She grins, raising a glass, "You're on thin ice, wrestler. But I'll take that drink."

Suddenly, a voice from the back of the bar cuts through the chatter.

Annoyed Bar-goer: "Enough of this nonsense! We're here to drink, not watch a washed-up wrestler play-fight."

The entire bar falls silent for a moment. Then, in unison, the patrons erupt in boos. A couple of them throw beer at the annoyed bar-goer, forcing him to duck and shield himself.

Bulk Logan, chuckling: "Looks like someone's not a fan of the Bulkster! No worries, brother, everyone's entitled to like shitty wrestlers! More drinks on me, dudes!"

The crowd erupts in applause and cheers. Amidst the celebration, Bulk's accountant, Gary Newman, tries to navigate through the crowd to get to his client.

Gary, shouting over the noise: "Bulk! We need to talk!"

Bulk Logan, slightly buzzed: "Gary! My money man! Join the party, brother!"

Gary, pushing up his glasses: "It's about Pizzamania."

Bulk Logan, pouring a shot: "To Pizzamania and to the big payday from Relentless, dude!"

Gary, hesitating: "That's... actually what I wanted to talk about."

Bulk Logan, downing his shot: "Spill it, Gary! But first, another round for everyone!"

The crowd around them cheers, but Gary, looking more anxious than ever, leans in closer.

"Bulk... Pizzamania, it's... it's not doing well."

Bulk Logan, laughing: "What are you talking about, man? People love pizza!"

Gary, pushing up his glasses: "The thing is... it's gone under. We've had to file for bankruptcy. You're... you're broke."

The weight of the words slowly seeps in, and the orange drains from Bulk's face. But ever the showman, he tries to keep his cool.

"You're pulling my leg! I've got that big payday from Relentless coming up!"

Gary, with a pained expression: "You've already been paid in advance for that match. And that's the money we've lost."

Bulk Logan looks around, realizing that the entire bar is waiting for him to pay for all those drinks he's ordered.

"You need to sort this out, Bulk. You owe a lot of people a lot of money."

"Wait a minute, Gary. Pizzamania’s only been open for, like, a week! How in Gods name did it go bankrupt that fast?"

Gary gulps, clearly nervous about breaking down the problems, "Alright, Bulk. Let's go point by point."

Bulk, with a smirk: "Hit me."

"Firstly, you decided to open Pizzamania in a mall. Malls these days? They're pretty much dead. Foot traffic is abysmal."

Bulk, confused: "A mall is a perfect place! Kids, families... they all hang out there!"

Gary, shaking his head: "Not anymore, Bulk. It’s all about online shopping now. Brick and mortar? Especially malls? Not a good investment."

"Okay, okay, but it's pizza! Who doesn't love pizza?"

Gary, hesitatingly: "That brings me to the second point. Your price point. $24 for a slice? Even with... 'BULKED' toppings, it's a hard sell."

Bulk, laughing: "It's $24 because of my legendary 24 inch schlong, dude! It's marketing, brother!"

"But Bulk, the average Joe doesn’t A: believe you, or B: want to pay that much for a slice. Especially not in today's economy. It’s not sustainable."

Bulk grumbles, trying to find a retort, but Gary continues.

"And third, the brand image. Bulk... the general opinion about you still isn't... great. People are actively boycotting anything with your name on it."

Bulk's jaw drops, "What? Everyone loves the Bulkster!"

Gary, sympathetically: "Times change, Jerry. A lot of folks can't see past the remarks you made about women all those years ago. They'll boycott just out of principle."

Bulk, shaking his head: "I just can't believe it. I thought the Bulkamania brand was bulletproof when it came to my Bulkamaniacs."

"You've weathered storms before, Bulk. But this... it’s different. We've got a lot of damage control to do."

Bulk looks defeated for a moment, then rallies, "Well, let's get started then! But first... let me handle this bar tab."

And with that, Bulk Logan, ever the master of escape, sneaks out the side exit, leaving Gary with an exasperated look and a hefty tab to cover..

Gary, sighing heavily and checking his own empty wallet: "Every. Single. Time."

In the background, the bartender, looking furious, yells: "Hey! Who's paying for all these drinks?"

The camera pans out, showing Gary surrounded by a sea of annoyed bar patrons as the bartender steps out from behind the bar with a baseball bat.

[Image: bulkamania.jpg]

Outside the bar, in a hastily set-up promo spot, a slightly tipsy Bulk Logan rips his shirt off as XWF Cambots whiz through the air, positioning themselves for the perfect shot.

"Listen up, brothers! I've been hearing all the chatter, all the talk about the Bulkster being back in the ring after 14 loooong years. And you better believe every bit of it, dudes!"

"Some of you been saying the only reason the XWF reached out to the one and only Bulk Logan is because they're scraping the barrel for talent for their biggest show of the year. Now, don't even start with that Madness main eventing night one nonsense! Madness is alright, but let’s cut the crap, most of those guys wouldn't know what a microphone was if it gave 'em a smack upside their head, dudes!"

"The way I see it, all these vanilla midgets running around, they've got their spot, sure. XWF’s been real charitable, giving those little guys a moment to shine. But let's not get it twisted here, dudes! The people, the fans, they're here for the Bulkster! I'm the cash cow, the golden goose, the reason all of Hades is bursting at the seams! That's why I'm lighting up this show right from the start, brother!"

"So, let the kiddies have their playtime in the main event. It's cute. But here's a reality check for all of ya: Bulk's in the house, and I'm not here for games, brother! When those lights shine bright and the curtains rise, remember one thing, this big boy’s back, and he's here to take over, dude."

"Now, listen up, little Judge man! I've wrestled with the best, and let me tell you, brother, you ain't even close to being on that level. You may call yourself 'The Judge Mental,' but in the court of Bulkamania, you're just another rook tryin' to make a name off the back of a legend!"

“Not today, jack!”

"It's been 14 loooong years since the Bulkster graced the ring with his presence, and trust me, dude, the wrestling world has felt that void. But now, I'm back, brother! And I ain't just here to play. I'm here to show everyone why Bulkamania was, is, and always will be the pinnacle of professional wrestling!"

Leaning into the camera, his blue eyes glittering with intensity, he continues.

"Victor, I've seen your type before. Every time I'd lace up my boots, there'd be some new kid on the block thinkin' he's got what it takes. But when you're in that squared circle with me, brother, all your judgements, all your sentences — they mean nothing, dude! 'Cause in there, there's only one law: the LAW OF BULKAMANIA! And that law states I run wild on you, dude!"

"Judge, dude, you better have your day in court, because come Relentless, it's gonna be nothing but a reckoning. And after I'm done with you..."

"Wait, dudes! Let's not forget about the ladies! I've been getting letters, tweets, and everything in between from all the beautiful women out there who've missed seeing the Bulkster oiled up and in action. And trust me, ladies, the feeling's mutual. I predict the female attendance for Relentless will be at an all-time high, all because they wanna see the return of the real main attraction *thumbing himself*  yours truly."

Flashing a mischievous wink, Bulk seems more confident than ever.

"Oh, and there's another lady out there that I can't wait to squeeze oh so tight, dude! Let's talk about my second opponent at Relentless.”

“Oh, man, you can't make this stuff up.”

“Dolly Waters, a former child prodigy, huh? More like a child who should've stayed in the kiddie pool instead of jumping into the ocean with sharks like the Bulkster!"

Bulk shook his head, clearly amused.

"Yeah, I read her stats, I watched the tapes. All 5-foot-5 and 120 pounds of her. You’re lookin' good, kid, but this isn't a beauty pageant, this is professional wrestling! Sure, she's got some moves, but against me? All her spinning back-fists, mule-kicks, and her, what's it called...Rolling Waters? Ha! They're just a drop in the ocean compared to the power of Bulkamania, dude!"

"You see, Dolly's got some weaknesses, easily overpowered by larger foes. Well, news flash, little lady, you're stepping into the ring with Bulk Logan, the epitome of 'larger foe.' I'll be more than happy to big boot that pretty little head right off your shoulders, brother!"

"And let's talk about this BOB fella she's been slumming around with. BOB, if you're watching this, no hard feelings dude, I don't really care about you. Just like I don't care about Dolly Waters. But since the young lass thinks she's ready for the big time, I'll introduce her to her old pals, Doom and Gloom, when I crush her sternum with the Leg Drop of Gloom!"

"Look, I've seen Dolly Waters, and doom and gloom seem to be her best friends. Well, guess what, sweetheart? I'm arranging a little playdate for ya! The Bulkster loves bringing people together, you know?"

"So Dolly, lace up your boots real tight and pull that hair into the most secure bun you've ever made. Because when you step into the ring with me, brother, you're not just stepping into the ring. Nah, you're stepping into a world of hurt, a world where Bulkamania runs wild on YOU!"

"So, What’cha gonna do, Dolly, when the biggest box office draw in wrestling, the man who's gonna spike female attendance through the roof, decides it's time to add another loss to that lame prodigy nonsense? Bulkamania's running wild, and Bulk's earning that TV title shot, brothers!"

Fade on Bulk flexing