X-treme Wrestling Federation
Weekend Warfare - April 8th - Printable Version

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Weekend Warfare - April 8th - Liam Desmond - 04-09-2023

04 - 08 - 2023



- vs -
Singles Match

- vs -
Singles Match

- vs -
Falls Count Anywhere Match

- vs -
Singles Match

- vs -
Singles Match

- vs -
Extreme Rules Match

- vs -
Champion's Advantage - Dolly Waters will name the stip in her first promo!

Lords of Iron By Antti Martikainen plays

Michael McBride makes his way to the ring

Orgasmatron by Motorhead plays

Orgasmatron by Motorhead begins blasting through the speakers, the stage is engulfed in flashing purple, red and green lighting. Out walks Taylor Rabid, wearing his classic patched leather jacket. He jumps up and down excitedly and bangs his head to the music, his mane of hair thrashing around. He begins quickly stomping towards the ring.

He jumps up on the apron, and takes a second to look at the audience and then shouts at them to make some noise,
hyping up the hardcore fans by asking them if they wanna see violence. He jumps over the top rope and then goes to the corner of the ring and sits on the turnbuckle, waiting for his opponent excitedly.

- vs -


The bell rings, and the two sides share a smirk with each other as they begin to visually relax while circling around the ring. The fans are hot from the get-go, and rumblings of noise and hype can be heard throughout.

HHL: It’s the age-old conflict of old school versus new school here in our opening match! Michael McBride making his first appearance back within the halls of the XWF after over a year since his last showcase, and Taylor Rabid here with his own debut and looking to start off strong!

Pip: We’ll see if an old dog can learn some new tricks, but I dunno…

The two sides circle around the ring, before meeting in the middle of the ring. McBride is the first to make a move, seemingly holding out his arms and looking for a test of strength? Taylor gives a look at him, before nodding and grabbing on! The two lock hands, before pushing against each other with all their might!

Considering McBride’s height and weight advantage, him beginning to take control of the test of strength is a natural course here as he begins to apply a lot of his power down onto Taylor. Taylor’s gritting his teeth, refusing to really give in here as the fans seem split down the middle between both McBride and Taylor!

Finally, Taylor seems to be forced onto his back by McBride! The ref slides in to count it as a cover, but Taylor raises a shoulder before bridging up onto his neck and shoulders! McBride grits his teeth, trying to bring Taylor down, but Taylor refuses to buckle at the towering sight of McBride and hangs in there!

HHL: What sheer grit from Taylor Rabid! He’s giving up over a half a foot and several pounds to his opponent, but he’s still hanging in there!

Pip: If I were him, I wouldn’t have even take that stupid test of strength in the first place. What was he thinking? Now he got himself placed on the back foot for no reason!

McBride tries to go for a stomp to the gut to break the bridge, but Taylor whips into action as McBride places himself off-balance! A lightning-fast arm-drag gets McBride flying to the ground, and Taylor keeps control of one wrist to work with as the sides come up.

McBride tries to drag Taylor in close for a quick elbow, but Taylor ducks underneath! A BIG punch to the back of the neck has McBride wincing as he comes around, and Taylor uses that opportunity to bring McBride over to the corner - Taylor hops off the corners - Tornado DDT!

Quick pin attempt by Taylor Rabid!




HHL: With how McBride landed on his skull there, that was impressive of him to manage to kick out. Guess he hasn’t gotten too rusty since his days away from here…

Pip: Well, now he’s going to need to show what he can do and try to turn this thing around! You’d think with McBride’s experience that he could be doing a lot more here!

Taylor is quick up to his feet, pounding on the mat before coming up to McBride and grabbing him by the neck! He looks to dart ahead to land a bulldog, but McBride uses Taylor’s energy against him by throwing him off and to the mat below! Taylor lands hard on his backside and sucks in air through his teeth, but he doesn’t stay down for long!

McBride looks a bit surprised at how much energy Taylor is really spending as he lunges at him again, but the Irishman manages to adjust quickly. He throws a hard lariat at the newcomer, but Taylor manages to slide underneath seamlessly! McBride turns as Taylor comes the other way, but now it’s McBride’s turn to show some of his age and wisdom as he hits the mat by ducking down to try and trip up Taylor!

Taylor hops over though! He jumps over McBride, and hits the opposite set of ropes as McBride is back up onto his feet! He begins to duck down slightly to keep running, but McBride manages to hit Taylor in the gut with a kick - snap DDT gets Taylor down and counting stars!

HHL: Well, I’d say that’s an impressive show of experience there! Usually in a match, after the drop down to try and trip your opponent up, you’d leapfrog over them to keep them guessing and set up for a reversal as they come back around! Taylor anticipated the leapfrog as McBride got back up to his feet, but the grizzled veteran made Taylor pay for that mistake!

HHL: He’s still got plenty to do in this match, though…

McBride picks up Taylor by the hair, looking for the Semtex Suplex! He hooks Taylor’s leg - ELBOW! ELBOW! ELBOW! McBride’s jaw gets jacked by the hard blows as Taylor manages to push him off, creating some separation as sweat is already pouring off of Taylor’s face. McBride smirks in recognition of that fact, and Taylor just gives a confident smile right back before wiping the beads of perspiration off of his skin.

McBride moves in, going for a quick snap jab! Taylor manages to weave out of the way, but that leads him open to a stinging hook to the body! Taylor doubles over from the impact, allowing McBride to hit an uppercut that has Taylor rolling! Taylor moves back to the ropes, trying to get his breath, but McBride is already there for an Irish Whip for him that has him running.

Taylor comes alive again though as he’s running! Springboarding off of the second rope, he turns to McBride in mid-air - MASSIVE UPPERCUT OF HIS OWN LAYS OUT MCBRIDE!

Pip: It’s a miracle this kid hasn’t completely gassed himself out with how fast he’s running, let alone bringing the fight as he has so far.

HHL: Gotta give Taylor Rabid credit - he might be pouring through his energy rapidly, but he’s using it to great effect with how he’s using that high-octane offense against McBride! The veteran’s gotta come back fast if he wants to stay in this contest!

Taylor picks up McBride by the neck - but McBride uses a burst of energy of his own! Taylor is both too winded and too caught by surprised to counter in time as he uses his shoulder to bring Taylor into the corner! Massive shoulder thrusts come out, forcing Taylor to double over from the assault as more air leaves from his body.

McBride stands now, hitting a BIG uppercut to Taylor! Taylor winces at the impact, but shoots McBride a big smile, before-


HHL: Taylor Rabid just placed Michael McBride’s head on a swivel there! I don’t think the Irishman expected such a swift response there from the Wildman!

Pip: The Irishman and the Wildman… almost sounds like a musical duo.

Taylor comes alive again, not wasting even a second, stamina be damned as he comes back up to the second rope! He sets his sights on McBride, before leaping off - DIVING CROSSBODY! Taylor is-


HHL: MASSIVE Semtex Suplex from Michael McBride! Can he finish this match here and now?!

McBride hooks the leg, trying for the ending pinfall as the referee counts!




Pip: I’ll give credit where credit’s due - Taylor’s still hanging! That’s better than I would have thought, coming into this match. But we’ll see if McBride can put Taylor away, because it’s not going to take much at this rate.

McBride gets a confident smirk on his face, clearly loving his time in this match and seeing what his opponent has had to offer. He wags his finger, trying to bring Taylor Rabid back onto his feet. Taylor is slow and shaky as he comes back, but it’s enough of an opening for McBride to hit the ropes!

McBride has his arm outstretched, looking to end this match with a vicious Clothesline from Hell known as the Celtic Clothesline! He comes to Taylor Rabid-



McBride is stunned, falling back a few paces and crumbling to a knee. Blood is eagerly trickling from his nose, and he looks stunned and dazed, not having expected that impact.

Pip: Holy crap - did Taylor Rabid stuff his boots with metal or something?! That kick looked lethal!

HHL: It stopped Michael McBride in his tracks, and now Taylor has all the opening he needs!

Taylor shouts to the fans to get them riled up, as he runs at the ropes full steam ahead - and hits a MASSIVE Shining Wizard to the face!

HHL: Michael McBride might be having a ‘Damaged Case’ after that massive Shining Wizard Taylor just knocked him out of his socks with! If you didn’t think his nose was broken before, you might be in for a surprise now!

Taylor leaps onto McBride, looking for the exclamation mark on this win as he hooks the leg! The referee counts as the fans count along with him!





HHL: Massive win here for Taylor Rabid on his first outing in the XWF! We’ll have to see if he parlays this success into something further, but with how quickly he turned the tides against Michael McBride in that closing sequence, you have to think his odds at doing so look very good!

Pip: We’ll see, we’ll see indeed - but I’ll say this much. I’m very interested to see how this will go.

The lights in the arena shut off, causing the fans in the arena to scream until the opening chords of Pomp and Circumstance played and images of the finals of March Madness V flashed across the screens in the arena.  The scenes of Sidney Grey not only becoming ‘Lady’ King of the XWF, but also the new XWF Universal Champion was put on display for all to see.


HHL: Seriously, Pip?  Isn’t this going a bit overboard?

Pip: After such a historic win, I don’t think anything is enough to properly honor our new King!

HHL could only sigh as the scene continued.  The fans erupted in a thunderous chorus of boos as a horse-drawn carriage appeared in the entranceway with Sid sitting in the rear, clad in a formal business suit with her newly minted Universal Title in hand and Gina Van Zyl by her side.

HHL: Okay, I thought these two hated each other?

Pip: Hate? Sure, Sid and Gina had there problems, but I think Gina has seen the light and she’s more than willing to sit under the Learning Tree of our great Universal Champion!

HHL: She’s paying you to say all this, isn’t she?


The carriage made its way down to ringside, with Sid and Gina waving to the crowd, ignoring the hurricane of boos and jeers.  As the carriage came to a stop, attendants hurried to open the door and help the pair out and into the ring.  Sid was handed a microphone and she stood in the center, waving like the fabled Queens of old as the masses voiced their displeasure.  Sid ignored it all, handing off her Universal Title to Gina, who took it, admiring its gleaming surface.


The fans booed even louder.  Sid looked at Gina and rolled her eyes.

Sidney Grey: I understand your disappointment.  There are probably a legion of Nedaphiles out there who are sad about how I singlehandedly destroyed Nedamania!


Sid paraded around the ring, chanting right along with them for a moment, then she abruptly stopped, sarcastically wiping her eyes.

Sidney Grey: Uh, too bad!  Nedamania is DEAD and BURIED, just like I said it would be!

The boos rose and Sid smiled, enjoying them as she nodded to Gina.

Sidney Grey: Maybe you’re upset that there’s no King Cunt of the XWF!


Sid paraded around dancing to the chants for XWF’s sickest cunt, until she grew tired of it and cut them off.

Sidney Grey: WELL, SORRY…NO HAPPY ENDINGS THERE EITHER!  I suppose he’ll have to find some other way to impress dear old dad!

The boos were deafening, and Sid closed her eyes as she seemed to enjoy every moment of it.  She walked back over to Gina, reaching out to caress her Universal Title.

Sidney Grey: Then…there’s Mr. Bourbon…


Sid allowed these cheers to go on a bit longer as she walked to the ropes and leaned against them.

HHL: Say whatever you want, but what Bobby did at March Madness was one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen!  Sid should be thanking him for the gifted opportunity!

Pip: What do you think she’s doing?

Sid nodded as she looked around at the cheering fans.

Sidney Grey: Yes, thank Bobby…thank him for being the biggest idiot in the company for thinking that there was no way in hell that I wasn’t walking out of March Madness V without being a goddamn champion!  FOUR MATCHES!  Count them…1, 2, 3, 4!  Bobby was trying to take advantage of me, but I could have wrestled 100 matches that night and won every last one of them!  Believe me, if it hadn’t been for some clown in a mask, I would have left the PPV as your Universal Anarchy Champion!

More boos thunder down, but Sid only shrugged.

Sidney Grey: March Madness is over and now everyone wants to know, who’ll be first to challenge for my title.  Well, I find it hilariously fitting that all you jackasses who called Anarchy the ‘B Show’ will now have to actually tune in to find out who it is!  Just like I made all you idiots tear up your March Madness brackets and cry in your beer, now I’m going to force you clowns to tune into the ‘A Show’ to see who I get to make famous next!

Sid dropped the microphone in the center of the ring as she took her title back from Gina and paraded around the ring, soaking in the boos from the fans as her theme music played.

Pip: The ‘Lady’ King has spoken.  I guess it’s time to start watching Anarchy!

HHL: God help us all.

Art of Blade plays

The strong beat of Art of Blade begins to reverberate throughout the arena as the fans begin to get on their feet and cheer for who's about to come out. Before long, the sight of the King in Rags, Finn Kühn, comes out to a strong ovation. He looks out amidst the area, his kingdom for tonight as he smiles.

His pace as he comes down to the ring is slow, even and measured. As the commentators discuss amidst themselves about recent events and the upcoming match, Finn surveys the area one last time as he steps into the ring.

As Art of Blade reaches its chorus, Finn thrusts his arms up to the air, posing passionately for the fans as afterwards he settles into a game face, picking a corner and getting ready for what is to come.

'Ready or not' by the Fugees plays

The hymn-like hum vibrates through the area before Lauren Hill soundfully brings in the chorus. Jason Cashe comes out from the back with Josslynn Spencer holding his hand. His eyes are covered by sunglasses. Looking around the arena at the live audience, his eyes stay hidden behind the shades. Taking a long drag off an air joint, Cashe howls up into the sky, a few fans howl with him. Josslynn gives him a 'good game' slap to the butt and they head down to the ring.

ANNOUNCER: From Houston, Tejas by way of Decatur, Georgia.. A truly Troubled One they call DiOGee.. Jaaaassoooon! CAAAASHE!!

Stopping as the aisle turns to ringside, Cashe drags a foot creating an imaginary line. This is the line where when passed, the talking stops. Giving Josslynn a kiss, she heads around the ring as Cashe steps into a jog, leaping up on the apron onto his left knee. He stands, ducking under the top rope to enter the ring. Taking off the sunglasses as he enters, he rushes across the ring and launches them deep into the crowd. Growling a roar to the live audience, showing he was ready to scrap.

- vs -

The moment the bell rings, Cashe comes out of the gate with pair of right-handed slap boxing-strikes. Finn, out-of-shock, back-pedals out of step. He pats his face like… ‘wait, did he just *slap* me?’ As Cashe keeps his hands up, ready to do it again.

HHL: The unorthodox fighting style of Jason Cashe has thrown even the strongest competitor off their game!

PIP: You train all day for years to prepare for getting punched, kicked or slammed… Then, a man slap-boxes you and suddenly it’s new territory…

Finn cracks his neck, ready to go again… He steps in!

Cashe swings another slap-box!

But Kuhn ducks and delivers a double leg takedown! Cashe winds up on his back!

HHL: Oh my! This is not where you want to be if you’re Kuhn’s opponent. He can win a match with a single well-placed strike!

Kuhn mounts Cashe, reeling back a knockout punch…

But from his back, Cashe slips in a snap jab to Kuhn’s skull! Kuhn gets rocked… Just enough for Cashe to somersault back onto his feet!

The crowd pops for this very physical opening… Kuhn cracks his knuckles… Cashe seems conscious of how little match there might be left had Kuhn hit that mounted punch, and stretches his shoulders, ready for more.

HHL: Kuhn and Cashe might be kindred spirits. They’re both very capable of grappling with the best of them… But they do seem most at home when they’re repeatedly slamming their fists into their opponent’s face!

Sure enough, Cashe comes in with another jab flurry… Only for Finn to bob and weave under the blows!

Kuhn drives his shoulder into Cashe’s ribs, looking for another takedown… But Cashe keeps his footing this time! And he drives his fists downward onto Kuhn’s back! Standing axehandle! Kuhn is struck down onto his knees!

HHL: Some might call this a physical chess match, Pip!

PIP: Or two trucks ramming into each other to see which one breaks, Heather!

Before Kuhn can recover a step, Cashe lifts a knee straight into Kuhn’s face! Kuhn backs up into the corner… And Cashe follows it up with an ear clap!

PIP: Discombobulate!

Kuhn indeed looks thoroughly discombobulated, stumbling forward… Straight into Cashe’s hands, who clasps his arms around Kuhn aaaaaaaaaand FLAWLESS T-BONE SUPLEX!

Cbridgessinto aa pin Marinara counts!!



THR-NO! Finn Kuhn heaves a shoulder off the ground.

Cashe peers up at Marinara, like, three? Marinara side-eyes him angrily, implying that if Cashe has a problem with his counting, they can take it outside.

Cashe yanks Kuhn off the ground by the back of the neck…And opens his palm.

SllllllllllllaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAP! A large red  bear paw from Cashe’s chop is left on Kuhn’s chest. Kuhn doubles over, sucking air, after all the wind was knocked out of his lungs…

HHL: Oh my God, what a palm strike!

Cashe shoves Kuhn back against the ropes… He reels his palm back agaaaaaaaain…

But Kuhn forward rolls under the strike! Cashe spins ‘round… Straight into a dropkick!

Cashe gets rocked against the turnbuckle… As Kuhn agilely cartwheels backwards, then launches a SCISSORS KICK that catches Cashe right in the chin!

PIP: Ooh, what a shot to the bread basket!

HHL: …Pip, Kuhn kicked him in the face. That’s not the breadbasket.

Cashe flops face-first to the floor… Kuhn crawls into the cover!

Marinara counts!



THR-NO! Cashe shoves a shoulder off the mat!

HHL: Incredible toughness by Jason Cashe.

PIP: Cashe, somehow finding the wherewithal to force his breadbasket off the mat!

HHL: …Colder, Pip.

Cashe scrambles up to his feet… But Kuhn catches him with a debilitating kick to the knee!

Cashe winces, dropping to one knee, as Kuhn catches him with a spinning roundhouse to the skull!

HHL: Cashe is learning firsthand how deadlyKuhn’s highly-educated feet are!

Cashe flops down again, as Kuhn hooks the leg. Marinara counts…



THRE-Nooooooo! Cashe refuses to lose!

Kuhn’s face develops a sneer, irritated.

HHL: Kuhn is known for having a temper… He clearly didn’t enjoy being smacked around.

PIP: Cashe’s striking style is psychological, Heather. Clearly, the DioGee has gotten under the breadbasket of the King in Rags.

HHL: …

PIP: So, ‘breadbasket’ doesn’t mean skin?

Cashe, despite forcing himself off the mat, struggles to work to his feet…

Kuhn raises his arm, circling like a shark, calling for the end…

Cashe grabs the bottom rope… Clambers up with his hands on the second rope…

Kuhn is poised, ready to finish this…

Cashe juuuuust gets to his feet.

Kuhn sprints in! SPINNING BACKFI-

Cashe ducks! With one last burst of energy, Cashe runs for the ropes!

Kuhn overshot his back fist, looking for a knockout blow. He spins ‘round just as Cashe shoots off the ropes…

BULLHAMMER ELBOW FROM JASON CASHE! Spit shoots out of Kuhn’s mouth like a Rocky movie!

The crowd screams! What a STRIKE from Jason Cashe!

Cashe exhaustedly limps, dragging Kuhn away from the ropes… he leans backwards, hooking the leg! Marinara drops to count, the conclusion being all but academic…




Somehow, some way, Kuhn refuses to die!

Kuhn’s lockout shoves Cashe onto his side. Cashe’s eyes widen as he grips his temples, like ‘what do I have to do to keep this guy down…’

The crowd rises to its feet, screaming dueling chants for both men.

[ref]HHL: We’ve got a capacity crowd, and not one ass is its seat for this match![/red]

PIP: Nor is there a bread in its basket.

HHL: Pip, at this point either Google it or give up.

Cashe pushes onto his weakened knee as hard as he can to work his way up to his feet…

Kuhn… Still on Mars after that elbow knocked him to the stars, scampers up to his feet…

Cashe swings a haymaker! Hits!

But Finn stays on his feet! Kuhn delivers a right haymaker!

Cashe rebounds into the ropes… But stays on his feet!

Kuhn backpedals toward the ropes… As Cashe charges forward! They both have the same idea at the same time!


And both men collapse backwards!


Muscles Marinara meanwhile starts a ten count…




Cashe, like a bear itching his back on a tree, scampers backwards, using the corner turnbuckle…




Kuhn shakes his head from the mat… He slaps the mat, gathering himself…



Cashe works himself out of the corner… And onto his feet!

Just as Kuhn kips up to a vertical base!

Marinara stomps the 10-count! This fight will continue!

The two meet in the center of the ring, less by will, and more it just seems where gravity takes them, destined to battle…


Finn and Cashe share a smile with each other, having laid so much on the line here in battle tonight! There's a sign of respect shared between them, but they won't let it get in the way of what needs to be done as they bring their heads back-


The fans AUDIBLY gasp at the impact of what just happened as both sides step back, looking at each other - before they march back in!









Pip: Look at them! They're just beating their skulls together like a bunch of savages!

HHL: It's just a battle of wills in there! They're gonna be feeling the effects of this match for a while, but to them, I imagine it'll be worth it if they can get the win!


The two sides stagger back from each other, blood trickling down both of their faces into an eerie crimson mask. The crowd comes alive once again, this time chanting 'C-T-E! C-T-E!' Finn is the first to step in, circling around slowly as he revs up for a SWAN SONG DISCUS ELBOW-


HHL: SADRIVER! SADRIVER! Jason Cashe just spiked Finn Kuhn's skull into the mat!

Pip: Sometimes, I wonder about those guys and what they end up doing in there...






HHL: What a brutal contest by both men here tonight! Finn very game in his return to action, but Cashe showing why he's now a tag team champion! Both men don't have much to be ashamed of in there, but Cashe barely shows why he was the better man tonight!

Pip: Let's just hope they won't be stuck in the hospital long after that one...

We cut to a shot of a red hummer limo pulling up curbside. A gaggle of fans rush to the stretch limo only to be held back at the last second by Little Feather’s security team. The limo’s back door opens and you see three of XWF finest step out one after the other.

HHL: “It looks like the Brotherhood has arrived!”

PC: “BOB has some huge matches on the card tonight: it looks like all three of the Brothers are locked in!”

Bobby, Charlie, and TK all walk past the cameras as paparazzi lights flash and adoring fans scream.

HHL: “But Pip, aren’t they too white to all be called ‘Brothers’?”

PC: “You’re right, Heather! No wonder they’ve been going by ‘bros’ lately!”

HHL: “Well either way, this Brotherhood of Bros is in the building- and that means we have some more great action coming to your screens next up on Warfare!”

TK, Bobby, and Charlie slip into an arena’s side door before the limo finally pulls off the curb to go find a proper parking spot. The arena door slams shut behind the Brotherhood of Bros as we cut away from the scene.

As the XWF Cameras come into focus backstage, you see the Saga logo plastered on a back wall with faded images of the current members of the group surrounding it. Think American Idol Auditions with past winners in a collage on the back wall. Talk about description. Visualize that.

Jason Cashe: "This is what I'm talking about! Now we're official!"

Clapping his hands together as he enters the room. Cashe was fresh out of the shower after his match, now with a thick bandage around his skull, but ready to go! The set up was perfect. Nothing fancy but enough decor to be credible. A stage was placed in front of the backdrop mentioned before and across from that was a desk. One of those old school desks where the chair is connected to the table. As he begins to take in the scene, Cashe is joined by another man who approaches Cashe with a hand extended, ready to make introductions.

"Hello! Hi, I'm Samuel L Reporter and I am your Host for these Mascot Auditions!"

Cashe nods to greet him as the two shake hands.

Jason Cashe: "Good to meet ya! You remind me of someone.. Can't quite put my finger on who though."

Samuel L Reporter: "Hashtag This Just In! Someone you like, I hope?"

Jason Cashe: "Odds are probably not.. Shall we get started? Who's up first?"

Heading over and taking a seat at the desk. Samuel L Reporter presents him with a folder containing all the profiles of the Mascots that will be seen today. Cashe opens the folder and pulls out the files.

Jason Cashe: "Let's bring in the first one, yeah?"

Samuel L Reporter: "Right away!"

Scurrying away towards the side of the room where the door was located. Samuel L Reporter sticks his head out of the doorway and calls in the first audition. Entering the room was an inflatable T Rex Dinosaur. It flopped and made that rubber against rubber shuffling noise as it waddled to the stage floor.

Jason Cashe: "Heh.. Alright! What is your Mascot name and why would you be the best choice for the Saga Mascot?"

Blow Up Rex: "I'm Dorkasaurous!"

There was a cute cheerie voice underneath the suit. Cashe's eyes squint as if he recognizes it.

Jason Cashe: "And.. Why would you make a good Saga Mascot?"

Dorkasaurous: "Because I am grrrreat! Watch this!"

The lady T Rex named Dorkasaurous begins to trot around, waving her small arms around as she makes growing sounds and roars. Cashe was stuck in stare with a mouth dropped open and eyes sitting wide. Samuel L Reporter was laughing with a hand to his chest.

Dorkasaurous: "See my arms? I can even hand jive, watch!"

Cashe watched as he was certain he recognized the voice inside the suit.

Jason Cashe: "Do we know each other? You sound familiar.."

The Lady T Rex stops bouncing around.

Dorkasaurous: "Noooo…"

That wasn't believable at all. Cashe grins and begins to play a little game.

Jason Cashe: "This job isn't just for the role of Saga's Mascot but it will require road trips and long nights with me and of course the other members of Saga. You and I might even become Best Friends!"

Dorkasaurous: "Boooooshit! You already have a Bestie, jerkface!"

There was no longer a doubt as to who was inside the inflatable Dinosaur costume. Cashe knew but still wanted to play along. Looking down at the file on the contestant, Cashe shakes his head. None of that info was real, he was sure of it.

Jason Cashe: "I do, you're right. I have a Best Friend but she is kind of annoying.. Always rude as hell. Never says nice things about me so maybe I need an upgrade in that department?"

Dorkasaurous: "...."

Jason Cashe: "Everything okay?"

There was movement inside the inflatable costume but no response to Cashe's comments. Samuel L Reporter shrugs as he and Cashe give each other a stare. After a brief moment, you hear her voice again.

Dorkasaurous: "Yeah, Thad? Launch the Glitter Missiles.. It's time!"

Leaping up from the old school desk, Cashe blurts out and points at Dorkasaurous.

Jason Cashe: "Ahhhaaaa! I knew it!"

Dorkasaurous: "You didn't know anything, shut up!"

Moving in a hurry towards the stage, towards the auditioning Mascot. Cashe reaches out to grab the costume. Dorkasaurous slaps his hand with her little T Rex hand.

Jason Cashe: "Take off the costume, lemme see your face!"

Dorkasaurous: "No!"

Jason Cashe: "Yes.."

Dorkasaurous: "No!"

Jason Cashe: "Why not?"

Dorkasaurous: "It's hot in this thing and.. I'm not wearing a shirt."

Taking a step back, Cashe gives a bothered expression. Looking back to Samuel L Reporter, Cashe nods to him.

Jason Cashe: "You take a peek inside.. If she is blonde and has horror movie eyebrows, she is instantly disqualified."

Dorkasaurous: "What?! Why?"

As Samuel L Reporter moves in to do the deed. Cashe explains to her why.

Jason Cashe: "You can't be the Mascot. You're about to kick Chris Page's ass in DCW. You have just gotten back in the ring and Sebastian Bryce Everett would be highly suspicious if you were a part of a group that is or has technically feuded with the group he is part of.. That's just the minor reasons why the answer is no."

Dorkasaurous: "You're no fun.."

She was giving up as she turned and waddles towards the door. Samuel L Reporter tries to still complete the task asked of him but Dorkasaurous shoves him to the ground.

Jason Cashe: "Bye Sloane.."

Dorkasaurous: "Bye jerk…"

As she squeezes her fat ass dinosaur suit through the doorway, the door closes. Cashe helps Samuel L Reporter to his feet and informs him of who that was.

Jason Cashe: "That was Sloane Taylor. Best Friend. Pain in the ASS!"

Heading back to the desk, there were other contestants waiting for their chance to audition. Real contestants. [/color]

The arena lights turn gold as the intro of “Soldier Dream” by ROOT FIVE hits the PA.

HHL: Here comes Raion Kido! A former Universal Champion, and currently one half of the XWF Tag Team Champions!

PIP: And a tentacle porn-loving weirdo!

HHL: Come on Pip, he's a known Anime fan, but not all of it is like that!

Raion Kido appears on stage, letting out a lion’s roar, and holding the XWF Leap of Faith briefcase.

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Mezasu kiboo no iro wa
Kedakai hodo utsukushii…”

The young Saint of Athena walks towards the ring, trying to reach out to the fans' extended hands with his own free hand.

PIP: Him and his briefcase that he never uses got me tired, Heather! I hope he's not just here to run his mouth!

HHL: I think we're getting an answer to the briefcase question right now!

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Tsubasa wa ten wo kakeru
Erabareta moushigo no you niiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

The ring announcer hands the Lion a microphone as the crowd finishes cheering, and the Lion begins to speak.

“As you all know, it was at Relentless that I lost the XWF Universal Title, and ever since then I have gone back from square one in the hopes of reaching that stage again.”

One more positive reaction from the crowd as the Lion finishes these words.

“Lots of good things happened along the way, there was also Peter Vaughn cheating at the Warfare before March Madness, but hey, I now stand before you as a Champion once more!

But even if it's good to hold some tag team gold, I have not forgotten where it is that I really want to be - and now, one more time, things have changed. It was meant to be me and Mark Flynn, but Bobby Bourbon and Sidney Grey had to get in the way, and so it's time to make things right.”

HHL: Here it comes, Pip!

PIP: About god damned time!

The Lion raises the 24/7 briefcase above his head with both arms.

“And that is why I have decided - I am finally going to put this briefcase to good use! Next Weekend Warfare, it will be time for the Gold Saint of Leo to get the Universal Championship back!”

The crowd answers the Lion's announcement with a huge pop!

HHL: And here we go! Next Weekend Warfare, it's Raion Kido vs. Sidney Grey for the XWF Universal Title!

PIP: Well finally! I just hope Bobby Bourbon beats his ass!

And with that, the Lion finally leaves the ring, before the feed cuts to commercial.

'Since I'm a bastard' by This Grey City plays

Charlie Nickles makes his way to the ring.

"Moonlight Sonata (Lacklan Version)" by XWFO$ plays




The lights go out as a red spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp as a metal version of the Moonlight Sonata plays. Sarah calmly walks out onto the ramp and stops, taking the time to look at the crowd. As the guitars play, she slowly walks down the ramp, careful to avoid the touch of any fans, with an arrogant sneer on her face. As she approaches the ring steps, she carefully climbs them before entering the ring. She then climbs onto the closest turnbuckle and sits on top of it, waiting for the match to proceed.

- vs -
Falls Count Anywhere Match

The bell rings, and an eager Charlie Nickles charges at Sarah Lacklan, trying to blast her into the corner of the ring. But Lacklan is able to avoid, she turns and swings a leg toward Charlie’s back, but this time it’s Charlie avoiding the blow. As Lacklan’s leg smacks into the middle turnbuckle pad she’s sent off balance, allowing Nickles to ram her skull first into the upper pad, over and over.

PC: There’s absolutely no love lost between these two…

HHL: The Night 3 Main Event of Relentless ‘20 saw Sarah Lacklan defend the Universal Championship against a rookie Charlie Nickels in one of the most brutal contests we’ve ever witnessed, Pip. Tonight, these two appear to be picking up right where they left off!

PC: Falls count anywhere is a perfect stipulation for these two, I doubt this match stays in the ring for long.

Lacklan staggers back out of the corner, and Charlie begins working her over with a series of punches to her ribs. Lacklan tries using her elbow to block the attacks, while simultaneously covering up her head, but Nickles is relentless, punching the sharp joints of Lacklan’s arms and driving them deep into her ribcage. Lacklan is against the ropes, howling out in pain when Charlie swings with a wild left hook, but Lacklan is able to block it perfectly!

Only it completely opens up her right side. Nickels smiles, slides and levels Lacklan with a disgusting elbow to her right temple. The audience lets out a collective groan. Lachlan is wobbling, Nickels turns around, runs to about the center of the mat before turning back and clotheslining both he and Sarah over the top rope.

As the action spills onto the floor, Nickels is laughing, he pulls Lacklan up by the hair and wastes no time running her into the steel ring steps. The top portion explodes off-place from the impact, while Lacklan is seated on the arena floor, her head seated in a dangerous postion between the steps and the ringpost. Nickels takes off running toward her and yells as he sends a big knee RIGHT INTO THE EXPOSED STEEL!

PC:Lacklan avoided that running knee just in time, Heather!

HHL: That might’ve been an early victory for Nickles here, but Sarah Lacklan showing why she’s still one of the best wrestlers on the planet, able to avoid such a dangerous attack.

Charlie falls over the steel steps, holding his knee, he tries scrambling up to his feet, but immediately the damaged knee gives way and he tumbles back over. Meanwhile Lacklan has recovered, she has Charlie in her sights. After stepping up onto the bottom portion of the steps, she sizes the Nickleman up, and as soon as he rolls back over into position Lacklan sends an elevated dropkick right into his damaged knee. Sarah stands to her feet and begins stomping on Charlie’s knee. She pulls him by the leg, and sets his foot up onto the apron, steps back a few feet before delivering a nasty running kick to the elevated knee.
PC: Charlie Nickles is in a bad way here Heather. He’ll have to find a way to fight through the pain of that injured knee if he’s going to continue on in this match.

HHL: If this one thing we know about Charlie Nickles, he’s a glutton for punishment. He’s going to have to really suck it up here and fight through.

Even with Nickles reeling, Lachlan doesn’t go for the pin outside of the ring despite the Falls Count Anywhere stipulation. Sticking to her traditionalist roots, Lachlan starts pulling the much heavier Charlie up, trying to roll him onto the apron, but as he knee gives way again, Sarah struggles more than usual in getting him situated.

After a few moments, she's finally able to get him onto the apron, she tries to roll him under the bottom rope, but Charlie is now finding some strength, gathering up onto his good knee, forcing Sarah to climb onto the apron with him. The two start exchanging blows as they both stand. Lachlan with palm strikes, Charlie with jabs. Each of them yelling in the others face as they connect.


His arms fly back, his eyes roll back, BUT HIS HEAD WHIPS FORWARD!



Sarah’s head is split open, Charlie’s nose is split open. THey’re both reeling on the apron, but Lacklan grabs Charlie’s arm, looking for an armbreaker BUT CHARLIE PULLS HER IN AND COUNTERS!






Somehow Lacklan kicks out, but a reinvigorated Charlie is already yanking her back up and planting her back onto the floor with a suplex, the back of her knee smacking the corner of the steel steps on her way down.

Charlie hooks the leg again!




Charlie starts laughing and pulls Lacklan up again whipping her toward the ramp where she trips and falls over. Charlie rips at the ring apron and pulls a steel chair out from under the ring. He starts limping over toward Lacklan and swings wildly with the chair.

She’s able to roll out of the way, but Charlie swings again, this time partially striking her in the lower back. Again Charlie swings as Lacklan rolls to her back, but she grimaces and catches the chair with her hands, and yanks Charlie toward her. The bad knee gives, and Charlie falls over easily, allowing Sarah to throw the chair out of the way and mount Nickles. She begins striking him with more palm shots before dropping a series of elbows, but Charlie covers up with
his forearms and thrusts his hips, knocking Lacklan off balance.

Nickels rolls Lacklan over now and delivers some strikes of his own, but Lacklan uses her incredible lower body strength to return the favor of the hip thrust. 

The two start rolling all the way back toward the ring apron, with neither wrestler able to get an upperhand.

PC: With these falls count anywhere rules, the match should be favoring Charlie Nickles, Heather but this thing appears to be a stalemate right now.

HHL: Should being the keyword there, Pip. Being a traditionalist, Lacklan isn’t getting into the weeds with Charlie in this match, she’s determined to finish this thing in the ring which is making it harder for Charlie to take full advantage of the stipulation.

The two begin standing again, each with a hand grasping the other's shirt. Lacklan kicks Charlie in the mid section, and plants him with a drop toe, this might be where she locks in a submission hold, but again, Lacklan starts lifting Charlie up, trying to get him back into the ring.

This time she pays for it right away, and a big back elbow cracks her in the head, as Charlie limps away to grab the steel chair. He runs at Lacklan, chair in his hands and swings with a wild shot looking to decapitate Lacklan.


The chair hits the bottom ring rope and rebounds, cracking Charlie in the head!

Nickels is down!


She pulls Charlie up and rolls him up onto the apron, this time actually getting him in the ring, but she’s wasted so much time! Just as she climbs the apron herself, a staggering Charlie Nickles inadvertently falls backward into Lacklan, knocking her back to the floor where she crashes onto the steel steps.

Charlie’s eyes go wide. He knew this would be a difficult task putting Lacklan away, but he’s up for the challenge. With Lacklan reeling on the bottom portion of the steps, he spots the top portion on the outside. He climbs back to the outside, grabs the top portion of the steps and then climbs back onto the apron. He sizes Lacklan up and runs down the apron with the steel steps in hand, HE DIVES AT LACKLAN!


The impact of steel on steel jars Charlie!

He stands to his feet and turns around…


Lacklan rolls Charlie into the ring!





Sarah looks stunned!

She stands up and circles around Charlie stomping away at the joints of his body, focusing especially on that bum knee. But to her surprise, the gritty Charlie Nickles begins screaming and fighting through the pain of the stomps while climbing up to his feet. Sara steps back, her eyes going wide, she shifts around, getting behind Charlie now she’s about to lock in the PIGEON WING!











Winner- Sarah Lacklan

Sarah falls over, completely gassed, laying right next to Charlie on the mat. The two warriors are gasping for air, but somehow, miraculously, Sarah isn't the first person to move as she ends up falling into a stupor on the mat. Charlie is instead the first person to move, looking downright angry at himself as he rolls out of the ring and barely onto his feet.

PC: That was an absolute war, Heather!

HHL: Every time Sarah Lacklan and Charlie Nickles get together, they always bring their A-game. Hopefully this wont be the last time we see these two fight!

Charlie lumbers over towards the ringside apron, still groggy and slow-moving from the brutal match. The Nickleman lifts up the apron and fumbles around the mat for a few seconds before pulling out his favorite toy and showing it off to the 'oohing' and 'ahhing' crowd.

HHL: "Charlie was storing a barbed-wire baseball bat under the ring this whole time!"

PC: "He always has an arsenal of tricks up his sleeve, but the match is over! He doesn't have a use for something like that anymore!"

HHL: "Oh but I think he plans on finding one, Pip!"

Charlie Nickles staggers over towards an unsuspecting Sarah Lacklan with the barbed-wire bat in hand. The crowd goes wild as he lifts the baseball bat up over his head, preparing to bring it down on Sarah with skull-shattering force.

HHL: "Once a bastard, always a bastard!"

PC: "Charlie Nickles just can't help himself, he's a monster at heart!"

The bat starts to fly down towards Sarah's unsuspecting skull- but at the last second, Charlie pulls it back. It looks like he's having second thoughts.

HHL: "Wait, what's going on?"

PC: "He's probably just playing with his food before he maims it!"

The Nickleman shakes his head solemnly as the crowd cheers on the assumption of untold violence. Charlie sighs before staring down at the ground, dropping his weapon to the floor. The crowd slowly quiets to a shocked murmur.

PC: "Wait, where's he going?! I didn't think he was done yet, I mean he hadn't even really started!"

Charlie turns around in dejection, leaving his favorite weapon on the floor as he slowly drags himself back up the entrance ramp. The crowd is left in a state of confusion, not quite sure what to think of the action they DIDN'T just witness!

The strings only version of 'Eleanor Rigby' plays

Mark Flynn comes out in a dazzling blue robe. Across the back, it says "King of the Midcarders". He has no expression and makes no eye contact with his opponent. When the bell rings, he shifts gear and a snarl comes across his face.

'Brotherhood of Bastards' plays

Twenty midgets with sparkers in both hands held as high as their little arms can reach, line both sides of the entrance ramp. Thunder Knuckles walks out with his Xtreme Championship over his shoulder, an arrogant smile emblazoned on his face, and bobbing his head back and forth to the music. The sparkers ignite as he walks past the midgets. Once Thunder Knuckles is down to the ring he rolls under the bottom rope and in one movement he pops up to his feet. With his back turned towards the camera, he raises his right fist in defiance. As soon as his fist goes up, counterfeit XBUX with Thunder Knuckles' face on them falls onto the crowd.

- vs -

As the bell rings, Mark Flynn drops to his butt, grinning! TK looks confusedly at him, wondering what kind of ploy this was! Flynn retrieves a can of cooking spray, and starts hosing down his own boots!

HHL: Some kind of ploy by Mark Flynn early on!

PIP: Flynn is making it so there is no way Thunder Knuckles can even grip his boot to drop a Thunder Strike on him!

The referee looks baffled, but will allow it and TK looks unamused. Having emptied an entire aerosol can of nonstick cooking spray on his feet, Flynn stands. Flynn immediately slips and falls, having absolutely no footing due to the application of so much cooking spray! Flynn uses the ropes to prop himself up in the corner, but TK has rushed in, and he’s not holding back! TK unloads with rabbit punches into Flynn’s midsection! Flynn finally blocks one, throwing a forearm back at TK, but slipping again and crashing forward into TK! TK reflexively, and completely accidentally, throws an overhead belly to belly suplex to Flynn! Flynn is stunned on the mat! TK is stunned he did that! TK scrambles and goes for a pinfall early on!



Flynn kicks out with authority! Flynn scrambles to his hands and knees, and throws a back heel kick from this position into TK! TK seems to have been struck by a gunshot! Flynn sneers and throws another kick at TK, sending TK rolling across the mat! Flynn again attempts to get to his feet, and maintains his footing, his steps seeming much heavier than normal on inspection! TK slowly makes his way to his feet as Flynn kind of wobbles around on his slippery shoes. Flynn approaches TK and places his foot on TK’s right hand! TK howl’s in pain as Flynn smiles! TK yanks his hand back, out from under Flynn’s boot! Flynn stumbles and falls on his behind! TK reaches into his trunks and pulls out a lighter!

PIP: Is TK going for a smoke break mid-match?

HHL: No, Pip, that cooking spray is flammable!

TK ignites Flynn’s feet! Flynn howls in terror from the shock of it, and starts kicking his feet up to put them out! Flynn nails TK with a burning front kick to his chest! TK again rocked like it was being hit by a truck! Flynn flails and throws his other foot, but TK catches it! TK lands a snap Thunder Strike to Mark’s foot while it’s on fire, effectively stomping it out! TK rolls away as the referee works to extinguish Flynn’s other foot! The referee stops the match, and medics rush the ring to see if everyone is okay! Flynn is fine, the effects of the Thunder Strike almost null! TK is baffled by all that’s been happening, muttering about how this is all a bunch of absolute bullshit! The medics remove Flynn’s boots, and drop them, where they land with an incredibly loud thud!

HHL: Mark Flynn loaded his boots tonight!

The referee signals to the time keeper that a point will be deducted from Mark Flynn.

PIP: Wait, since when are there points?

The time keeper actually marks something down. The team of medics have applied the spare pair of wrestling boots to Mark Flynn from under the ring. The referee restarts the match! TK and Flynn meet in the middle of the ring. Mark seems to be laughing in the face of TK, but TK just throws an open handed slap cracking Flynn across the jaw. Flynn retaliates with a forearm! TK throws a left! Flynn shoots back with a right! TK ducks it, and scoops Flynn, planting him with a massive scoop slam! TK looks and points to the top rope! TK climbs!

HHL: This doesn’t look good for Mark Flynn!

TK flies, looking to land a knuckle strike! Flynn gets a foot up, and counters, cracking TK in the jaw! TK recoils as Flynn scrambles to his feet to perform a double leg takedown of TK! Flynn sets in a toehold on TK! TK looks like he’s in insane amounts of pain! The referee leans in to check to see if TK is going to tap out!

…TK almost slaps the mat, but fights off the pain! Flynn sinches in the toehold further, really wrenching that toe!

…TK looks like he’s going to tap! Flynn torques the toe!

…TK retaliates by grabbing Flynn’s toe, and each man has the other in a fierce tug of war of toe! Finally, neither man can bear it anymore, and the stereo toehold struggle stops! Both men struggle to get back to a vertical base. Once there, TK hits a double axe handle blow to Flynn! Flynn doubles over, and TK goes to give Flynn a vertical suplex! Flynn counters, and won’t be lifted! Flynn throws a snap suplex to TK! The referee was there in the way, and gets taken out by TK’s flying body! Flynn sees this and a grin creeps across his face! He grabs TK and drapes him over the middle rope by the neck, then pulls up, choking TK with the rope itself while the referee is out! TK flails around while Flynn sadistically pulls up on the rope, cutting off TK’s circulation! Flynn then rushes to the other ropes, rebounds, and comes back with a leaping stomp onto TK’s back, forcing the rope deeper into TK’s throat! TK flails back and onto the mat, grabbing his throat. Mark Flynn slides out of the ring and retrieves those heavy boots! He puts them on his hands, and now he’s got boots on his hands and feet, and he enters the ring! He rears back, looking to clap the loaded boots on either side of TK’s head!

HHL: Oh my god, he’s going to crush his melon like a grape!

PIP: Mark Flynn is going to turn TK into fruit salad!

At the last minute, TK nails Flynn with a key low blow! The crowd loves it! The referee starts to stir, and TK stands and hits Mark Flynn with a DDT, and the boots on Flynn’s hands skitter off! The referee slowly approaches and counts the pinfall!



Flynn kicks out after the slow count due to the referee still coming to! TK is frustrated, and Flynn sees the frustration and swiftly rolls TK over in a quick gotcha pin!



TK kicks out! However, Mark Flynn sinks in the Fujiwara Armbar as soon as the kickout happens! Flynn sets all the pressure in, and TK looks like he’s about to tap out! He reaches out to the ropes, but can’t get to them! TK keeps fighting, and fighting, but gets nowhere! The referee checks in on him!

HHL: Thunder Knuckles refusing to quit here tonight!

PIP: He’s a moron if he doesn’t!

Finally, after some time, TK actually passes out! The referee calls for the match, and TK never tapped!

WINNER: Mark Flynn

'La Gazza Ladra' plays

As La Gazza Ladra blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon. He looks out at the crowd in the arena, cold and stoic, surveying his surroundings. He stops and raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops.

'Soldier Dream' by Root Five plays

The arena lights turn gold as the intro of “Soldier Dream” by ROOT FIVE hits the PA.

ANNOUNCER: “And now, standing tall at 6'0" and weighing in at 227 lbs., from Osaka, Japan, “The Lion”... RAIOOOOOOOOOOON… KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Raion Kido appears on stage, letting out a lion’s roar.

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Mezasu kiboo no iro wa
Kedakai hodo utsukushii…”

Raion spreads his arms and breaks into a bird run towards the ring, slapping the fans’ hands along the way. He slides into the ring on his belly and springs into his feet.

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Tsubasa wa ten wo kakeru
Erabareta moushigo no you niiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

Facing the camera, Raion throws a one-two punch forward, his final pose as the music dies down.

- vs -


Bobby and Kido leave their corners and circle one another, each a little wary. The lock-up into a collar and elbow tie-up which Bourbon gains control of pretty easily and shoved Kido away and onto his back as Raion sits back up quickly as Bobby allows him to get back to his feet; Kido shakes out his arm as he stalks Bourbon who gets low into a Greko-Roman wrestling pose and Kido tests the waters putting his fists up with a jumpy front forward and feigns kicks as Bobby bats away at the air, disarming the incoming strikes.

HHL: Both men playing a little cautious from the get-go here.

PC: Could be a show of respect, both guys know how good the other is OR could be a knock of confidence from each man after certain losses.

HHL: I'm gonna say it's respect.

PC: Then I'll go with the other thing I said to spice things up.

Kido leaps in faking a forearm and catches a ducking Bobby in the jaw with a rough kick; Bourbon stumbles and is knocked as he goes to his hands and knees briefly as Kido rushes in and lands a knee into Bobby's temple and immediately grapples him to get him to the mat but Bourbon wakes up and reverse the hold, scrapping with Kido and managing to transition to Kido back and plucks him into the air with a German Suplex, locking the hold in tight Bourbon manhandles Kido and uses immense strength to flip him around into a tight bearhug before running him into the corner, Raion's spine smashing into the turnbuckles!

Raion drops as Bobby releases his hold and Bourbon Irish Whips Kido into the opposite corner and follows up with a big splash crushing Kido before grabbing his ankles as Kido grabs the ropes and drops Raion onto his back with a splat!

HHL: Bobby taking control of the early game here.

Bourbon steps over Kido and gets to the second turnbuckle with haste and pushes himself off with a big splash onto Kido's prone body and the ref rushes in for a count!




Kido pushes Bobby off him and clutches his ribs as he makes some room away from the Big Bro. Bourbon closes the distance with a forearm before whipping Kido into the ropes and getting low throwing Kido into the air looking for his patented Dinosaur Extinctor but Kido goes higher then expected and counters bringing Bourbon's head down into a single knee facebuster and Bourbon drops to the mat as Kido pumps himself up with the energy of the crowd.

Bourbon shakes the cobwebs and gets a hand on a raising Kido which is quickly batted away as Raion lands a brutal kick to the thigh and Bobby's leg crumples under him and Kido takes advantage with an Uranage! Both men drop to the mat and Kido kips up with his fists pumped to the roar of the crowd, he turns egging Bourbon to get up as he makes some distance.

HHL: Kido looking to end things here and now!

Bourbon gets to his feet drunkenly and turns into a screaming Saint!


Kido runs in for his signature heart punch!

HHL: Bobby drops to the mat!

And Kido is forced to leap over Bobby and turns.

PC: Kido should really stop announcing his moves like that, easy counter!

Bobby gets to a knee and charges upwards into a roundhouse uppercut!


And Kido barely gets his chin out of Bobby's reach!

PC: What did I just say!

Kido forces his back into the ropes and bounces back with force as Bobby lands back to his feet!


Kido's lariat ruins Bourbon as it connects with his throat and spins Bobby out! Kido quickly drops into a tight cover and the ref rushes in!




Kido kneels up as the crowd pop and gives a nod of his head before grabbing Bourbon by the collar and forcing him up pushing Bourbon's back into the corner and channelling his energy with the crowd before unleashing a nasty chop across Bourbon's sternum!

Followed by a big right hook!

And a left!!!


Bourbon back in the fight catches the fist!

Nasty headbutt from Bourbon!

Followed by a knee to the gut!


But wait just as Bobby goes for the BOBBYBOMB Kido suddenly counters with a FRANKENSTEINER and transtions into HEAVEN'S TREASURE in the center of the ring.





The night carries on as the cameras cut backstage once again to find Jason Cashe sitting at his desk, still running auditions. There have been some good ones and some bad ones and you could see that Cashe was tiring in the process.

Samuel L Reporter: "Come on in.. Stand over there!"

Looking up from his desk, Cashe sees his Co-Host welcoming in the next Contestant.

Jason Cashe: "Whoa! Hold up! I need some assistance with this one.."

Patting his pockets, Cashe finds his phone and digs it out. Swiping through screens, he gets on a call and puts the phone to his ear. Awaiting the pick up, it finally comes and he speaks into the cell.

Jason Cashe: "Yeah, I'ma need you go come down here.."

Holding up a finger to give him a minute. Cashe gets up from the desk as he continues his phone call.

Jason Cashe: "No, I need you to see something. I'm serious, man! Come down here or I will call you for every shit I take for the next month.. With pictures and video calls… Cool, see you in a bit!"

His call ends as Cashe moves over to Samuel L Reporter and the two stare at the contestant and whisper amongst themselves.

Samuel L Reporter: "Really?! I wouldn't have guessed he used to wrestle."

Jason Cashe: "Yeah he seems like a marshmallow these days but the guy could go at one point. I don't know who this dude is though.."

As if there was an immediate urgency to get to the auditions. Theo Pryce barges into the room through the same door where contestants entered.

Theo Pryce: "I'm here, no midnight shit calls!!"

He seemed a little out of breath. The man ran here so Cashe wouldn't call him during shit breaks. Fantastic! Cashe will probably still call him..

Jason Cashe: "Look!"

Pointing over at the contestant standing where the dance floor esq stage was set up. Theo's jaw drops as he sees something he immediately recognizes even from a side view. Moving quickly to the front of the stage, the Contestant and Theo Pryce stare at each other. Theo steps closer and now the two are face to face.

Theo Pryce: "Who are you?"

The man or flat chested woman was wearing a whole dark getup but it was the mask that grabbed Theo's direct attention.

Masked Man: "Enigma.."

Bouncing in place, Cashe clapped and seemed to be highly entertained by this moment. Samuel L Reporter watched like he wanted some popcorn as Theo Pryce and this 'Enigma' remained eyes on one another.

Theo Pryce: "What is this, Cashe? Did you do this?"

Jason Cashe: "Me? I wish! I been asking you to give me your old mask. That must be a replica!"

Theo Pryce: "It looks authentic to me.. Did you steal my mask and give it to this.. Imposter?"

Enigma: "I am not an imposter, I am Enigma!"

Jason Cashe: "Yes you are!!"

Cashe hurries over and forces himself in between Theo and the contestant. Walking Theo back, Cashe has a great idea.

Jason Cashe: "You should stay! Help me judge and decide on this one! Maybe you can pass the torch?"

The smile on his face said enough about his interest in this situation but Theo was looking past Cashe and staring a hole into this copycat.

Theo Pryce: "I told you, Saga doesn't need a Mascot! It sure wouldn't be this ripoff if we were to have one!!"

Throwing a finger and pointed hand towards Enigma, Theo blurts out at the man.

Theo Pryce: "You're not me! You can't fit in my shoes or my Mask! Take it off!!"

Jason Cashe: "Whoa! Calm down, Staff member! You don't want to get your ass whipped by the guy who is wearing your old mask! What if he is like Boyka and is the Most Complete Fighter in the World?!"

Theo Pryce: "Who?"

Waving off Theo's lack of movie knowledge. That couldn't be helped. Cashe turns and motions to this Enigma.

Jason Cashe: "He connects to Saga because of you! We could call him E2! Ooohhh daaang! That's nice right?"

Frustrated, Theo Pryce pushes past Cashe and heads to the door. He was ready to leave. Cashe jogs to catch up with him and cuts him off at the door.

Jason Cashe: "Plot twist! What if he is your illegitimate son?"

The look that Theo gave Cashe was not that of a face that was amused.

Theo Pryce: "We're not getting a Mascot. I have shit to do, don't call me again."

Pushing through the door, Theo leaves the room. Cashe left with a touch of disappointment heads back to his desk to officially conduct this audition.

Samuel L Reporter: "Do you want me to show him the door as well?"

Jason Cashe: "No, I have questions.."

Putting his gaze onto the Enigma in the room. Cashe did have a few questions.

Jason Cashe: "Have you or have you not had sex while wearing that mask?"

Samuel L Reporter sighed and let his head drop as the scene cuts from the backstage.[/color][/color]


'Unsainted' by Slipknot plays

Announcer: About to enter the arena, standing in at 6’4 and weighing in at 239 pounds!!!

The words fade as we hear the Church bells cling before the guitar riff starts playing along with the choir singing. The music builds up to where finally Corey Taylor can be heard. The name Goth emerges upon the titan tron, but the man only walks out after Corey Taylor can be heard screaming the words: “I’m finally holding on to letting go!!” As explosions go off on the side of the entrance stage. Goth stares at the crowd as his fiancé Melissa emerges behind him.

Announcer: Currently residing from Manhattan, New York!!! He is the King of Kings!! Goth!!!!

Goth lifts his head upwards to the ceiling while extending his arms, a smirk emerges upon his face as he listens to the mixed reactions. After a few seconds he looks back ahead of him towards the ring walking slowly, totally ignoring the fans who are trying to touch him as he walks to the steel ringsteps. He gets on the ring apron before opening up the top and middle ring rope for his fiancé Melissa as she steps through them. He then steps in the ring and stares down his opponent/awaits his opponent as his music slowly fades.

'Old Town Road' by Lil Nas X plays

The overhead lights in the arena go dim as strobe lights begin to flash in rhythm to the sound of thunder crashing in the distance. The crowd goes wild as the fog rolls thickly from the top of the ramp as Cadryn Tiberius slowly makes his way out of the back. He stands tall in the midst of the fog as a storm rumbles behind him. Cadryn begins walking down the ramp, slapping the hands of fans on the way down. Cadryn climbs the apron and enters the ring, pausing for a moment in the middle before tossing his white Stetson cowboy hat into the crowd.

- vs -
Extreme Rules Match

The referee holds the XTreme Championship up into the air before handing it over to the time keeper, and calls for the bell.

Goth and Cadryn circle in on one another slowly. Cadryn, being more of a gentleman in the ring, tries getting Goth to meet him with a test of might, but Goth isn’t having it! A gothic discus elbow cracks Cadryn in the nose. Cadryn stumbles toward the ring ropes where he’s tackled from behind, and falls throat first onto the bottom rope. With Cadryn dangling in an awkward position, Goth leaps in the air. A BIG GOTHIC STOMP ACROSS CADRYN’S SPINE!

The champion goes for the early pinfall!



But Cadryn gathers and kicks out.

PC: An early kickout here for the challenger, but one must be concerned with Cadryn’s lack of aggressive nature in the ring in this XTreme Rules match.

HHL: There’s a definite, clear advantage here for Goth, but we need to keep in mind that Cadryn has seen his fair share of xtreme contests in the XWF, and has won his fair share, despite always doing his best to play by the rules.

PC: well, that just sounds stupid Heather. The rules of XTreme Rules are that there are no rules! If Cadryn plans to win here tonight, he’s going to have to get his hands dirty against a competitor like Goth.

Goth pushes Cadryn under the ring ropes with his legs, sending the challenger falling out to the floor. Goth grabs the top rope and vaults over, crashing down onto Cadryn with a Gothic Splash. He then lifts Cadryn again, showing incredible strength and dropping the challenger throat-first across the guardrail with a Gothic Military Press.

The challenger is struggling to find his footing. An eerie knee from Goth catches Cadryn in the ribs, followed by a series of Barbaric mounted punches, and even though Cadryn has taken an incredible amount of punishment, he’s still fighting to his feet. Goth scowls and turns to lift the ring apron, he starts digging under the ring, looking for a weapon. He pulls out a table, the fans cheer. He pulls out another table, and the fans cheer louder. Then a chair, another chair, and a bat…

Not a baseball bat though.

HHL: Oh my god, Pip! That’s an actual bat inside of that little cage!

PC: What in the gothic hell is going on here?

Goth pulls the large bat from the cage, holding it by its feet and swings it toward Cadryn’s head. The bat clings onto Cadryn who screams and starts flailing around. This gives Goth all the time he needs to start setting up the tables. One stacked ontop of the other!
Finally, Cadryn gets the bat unlatched from his head, and it flies away into the rafters.

HHL:Cadryn is going to need rabies shots after this match!

PC: Rabies will be the least of his concerns if he doesn’t turn things around here!

A 17th Century Lariat from Goth levels Cadryn, followed by a chair shot. The Champion is having his way here, as he climbs up onto the apron and leaps off with a diving accursed axe handle smash! Goth rolls Cadryn back into the ring, and slides under the ropes with a steel chair. He sizes the challenger up, just as Cadryn gets to his feet, Goth rushes in and swings with the chair, but Cadryn rolls out of the way! He hits a dropkick to Goth’s back!

Goth falls on his own chair, and feels the impact of the steel even more when Cadryn lands an running leg drop. He covers the champion!



Cadryn scoots back on his rear, a horrified look on his face as Goth stands up, looking almost unaffected by that damage. Cadryn stands at kicks at Goth, but the champion grabs his leg, and lifts Cadryn, planting him with a Grave Fishermans Suplex, right on the steel chair!

Goth covers!




Goth is looking annoyed. He stomps up to his feet and grabs the steel chair, wedging it between the top and middle turnbuckle pads. He grabs a reeling Cadryn and whips him into the corner!

But Cadryn reverses!

Goth slams into the steel chair, and Cadryn hops into the corner before Goth can even fall out! He mounts the champion and punches him in the head











10! 11! 12! 13! PUNCHES!


The challenger covers!




HHL: Cadryn has definitely turned the tide in this matchup! Now he needs to capitalize!

Cadryn begins scaling the turnbuckle. He reaches the top rope just as Goth is standing…




After 10 orbits, Goth releases Cadryn, sending him flying through the ropes where he spills onto the the apron. Goth goes for another 17th Century Lariat, but Cadryn side steps! The Essence of Excellence steps back through the ropes and starts pummeling Goth with a beautiful boxing combination. He grabs Goth, throws him into the ropes and


The trademark Superkick lands flush. Cadryn covers!




The crowd is going crazy as Cadryn has fought all the way back, and finally appears to have a real shot at winning this match. He stands to his feet again, and notices that Goth is still down. Cadry again climbs the turnbuckle, ready to dive off with a hurricanrana as soon as the champion stands to his feet.

Goth is up, bent over, his back toward Cadryn.



Goth connects with a nasty chair shot, and just like that, Cadryn’s momentum is gone as he’s mangled by the chair mid-air and falls to the mat.

Goth falls on Cadryn…




PC: I have no idea how Cadryn continues to kick out here!

HHL: I don’t know either, Pip! But Goth looks really angry! I think he’s ready to put Cadryn away for good.

Goth stands and lifts Cadryn…






Cadryn unbelievably kicks out of the Goth Drop!

Goth is beside himself. After scolding the ref for a moment, accusing him of a slow count, Goth rips Cadryn up from the mat again, and walks him over to the turnbuckle, setting the challenger up on the top rope. Goth climbs along sid him and balances out on the ropes.

PC: This has been such a gritty match, Heather, but it looks like Goth really is about to finish things here!

HHL: …no, NO! Do you think he’s about to…

Positioning himself next to the double stack of tables he setup on the arena floor earlier in the match, it looks like Goth is planning to Chaos ADDT Cadryn from the top rope through those tables.

But there’s a struggle!

Cadryn punches Goth, and Goth punches back when suddenly…





Goth falls from the turnbuckle and crashes through both tables.

Cadryn looks stunned. He crawls down from the top turnbuckle. The crowd is roaring!

He gets Goth back in the ring…


The Crucfix Piledriver plants Goth!





Winner and NEW XTREME CHAMPION- Cadryn Tiberius!

The end of the night was approaching. The matches have come and gone except a few left on the lineup. A handful of people have already left the arena but not Jason Cashe. He was dragging along with these Mascot Auditions and have gone through a good 15 of them just tonight. You could tell based on the dread on his face as the cameras come backstage and focus on him.

Jason Cashe: "A lot of rejects. Oklahoma is a terrible place for Mascots.."

Not alone, Cashe was sharing the load with Samuel L Reporter. A co-host that has far more interest in still being on the job than Cashe seems to have.

Samuel L Reporter: "What about that Robin Hood one? He had a spiffy Bow & Arrow that shot T-Shirts! That seems useful to The Saga does it not?"

Jason Cashe: "Yeah and if he didn't shoot me in the face with one of those ugly yellow Ruby T-Shirts, I'd have agreed. That was when he fucked up!"

Samuel L Reporter: "Isn't Ruby a Superhero?"

Jason Cashe: "Allegedly."

Samuel L Reporter: "Well what about that Trojan Horse? That kind of connects with you doesn't it? A guy who seemingly slides in unnoticed and discredited as a real threat.."

There wasn't a response. Cashe just gave him a long stare that might be deciding where to hide the body. As Samuel L Reporter notices this look, he scrambles to change the topic altogether.

Samuel L Reporter: "So.. We should have a few more auditions. Want me to send in the next one?"

Jason Cashe: "Yeah let's go with that.."

Twirling a finger, Cashe was ready to be done with the night. Before SLR gets to the door to welcome in the next contestant, the door opens and in walks Ned Kaye.

Samuel L Reporter: "Terrible costume."

Unsure if SLR knew who Ned Kaye was or was making an attempt at sarcasm. He ignored the comments and looked around at the design of the room. It was a lot different than it looked last week and Ned realizes just how serious Cashe was at finding the perfect Mascot. Struggling somewhat at first, Kaye attempted to treat the situation with a hint of tact as he came to terms with Jason's dedication.

Ned Kaye: "How are we doing? Any closer to a choice?"

Sighing before he responds, Cashe extends a fist and Ned bumps them with his own.

[color=#df401]Jason Cashe:[/color] "Not even an inch closer. Out of all the people and costumes I have seen tonight, I just have one that has made it to the next round. This is a lot more time consuming than I would have guessed."

Ned searches for a compliment for the absurd situation, hesitating slightly as he nearly comes up short.

Ned Kaye: "The… set up looks good! I saw Theo and he said something about you messing with him. I figured to come and see how things were going before I took off for the night. Did you watch Kido vs. Bourbon?"

Shaking his head, he's been swamped since his own match earlier in the night.

Jason Cashe: "No but you should stay! Stay and help me with these last couple."

Ned Kaye: "Yeaaaaah.. No."

Jason Cashe: "Ohh come on! Don't be a Ho, Neddo!"

As the two negotiate for Ned to remain, the doors open. Both Ned and Cashe turn to look and see Samuel L Reporter enter the room with a smile on his face.

Samuel L Reporter: "Theo made everyone leave!"

Jason Cashe: "That dirty rotten scoundrel!"

Ned just laughs.

Samuel L Reporter: "Have no fear though! I went and chased one of the contestants down!"

Jason Cashe: "That's that shit right there!"

Standing up from the desk, Cashe gives SLR a good standing ovation before pointing at Ned.

Jason Cashe: "Ned's gonna help judge this one! Let's get them in here asap!"

Ned Kaye: "But I.."

Sighing, Ned Kaye just let things go. Helping with one wouldn't hurt anyone.

Jason Cashe: "Now I'm excited! I don't even want to sit down anymore, take a seat Neddo! Let's do this!"

A newfound energy in the DiOGee as Samuel L Reporter returns to the door and holds it open for the final audition of the night. The anticipation started to build, waiting those mere seconds before they got that first impression and it didn't disappoint.

Ned Kaye: "What the hell, Cashe?!"

Through the doors and entering the room was someone on all fours. Walking on their knuckles as they almost galloped onto the makeshift stage. A thick body of white hair covering everywhere you could see. Pink nose and face, immediately Cashe was impressed. Ned, not so much as this was an Albino Gorilla. Not a real one of course but someone in a costume and the costume was niiiioce!

Ned Kaye: "Really? A gorilla? This is a horrible joke.."

Jason Cashe: "I swear I didn't set this up! I didn't even know you were coming! Hell, I didn't know you were here tonight! It's not like you had a match.."

Ned Kaye: "No, this is just my luck. Makes total sense."

Hovering down on all fours, this Albino Gorilla was completely in character. Blowing air from the nose, snorting and making faint ape sounds.

Jason Cashe: "Fun fact: You can technically get a Gorilla pregnant. Like you can put human sperm in Gorilla eggs and make a baby. It would work vice versa as well but.. Ouch.."

Ned Kaye: "Information I didn't need to learn for 500, Jason."

Samuel L Reporter: "Fascinating!"

Jason Cashe: "Right? Changes the whole dynamic of Tarzan!"

Both Cashe and SLR laughed but Ned was making strong eye contact with the Albino Gorilla. He had a little history with this breed of animal. The process of the audition was still without the proper start so Cashe kicked it into gear.

Jason Cashe: "Tell us your Mascot name and why you would be THE choice for the Saga Mascot?"

To everyone's surprise, the Albino Gorilla stood on his hind legs and began using hand signals. Sign language. ASL which Cashe was fluent in. He was hella bilingual in Gang Signs and the deaf people's version of communication.

Jason Cashe: "Awwww daaang! Are you deaf?"

The Gorilla throws his hands around some. Cashe interprets.

Jason Cashe: "No, I am a Gorilla you dumbas.. Wait, what?!"

Ned Kaye laughs. This causes SLR to have a giggle as well.

Samuel L Reporter: "Well played!"

Jason Cashe: "You shut your face!"

Samuel L Reporter: "Noted."

Scratching the jawline of his beard, Cashe buried the insult that the Gorilla had made in sign.

Jason Cashe: "What is your name?"

Again, the Albino Gorilla goes into hand motions. Cashe nods and translates the response.

Jason Cashe: "His name is Vanilla Gorilla! Hahahahaha!"

Ned Kaye: "Wow. That almost rhymes."

Continuing to talk with twisted fingers and hand motions, the Vanilla Gorilla goes into why he would make a good Mascot for the Saga.

Jason Cashe: "He says that he doesn't take shit but will fling some if it calls for it to protect and serve The Saga members. Quality traits right there!"

Ned Kaye: "Fling shit? Like.. the genuine article?"

Jason Cashe: "Flinging fake pooh is just lazy.."

Ned Kaye: "How about no?"

The Vanilla Gorilla snaps towards Ned, giving him some grunts as he lowers his head and drops back down to his knuckles. Reaching back, he acts like he is about to collect some fresh pooh to fling.

Ned Kaye: "Let's not do that and say we didn't."

To divert a situation from forming, Cashe jumps back into the questions.

Jason Cashe: "What was your last job?"

The excitement on Cashe's face faded as he interpreted what the Vanilla Gorilla was telling him.

Jason Cashe: "You were a what?!"

Again, the Gorilla makes the same signal. He surely didn't stutter in Sign Language. That was impossible to do unless Michael J Fox was trying to sign. Get it? Cause he has the shakes? Laugh or it makes me seem like a dick.

Jason Cashe: "Poacher? You were a fucking Poacher?!"

Ned Kaye: "What?"

Samuel L Reporter didn't have a quick verbal response but his eyes got so big that he was stuck on stunned. The gorilla nods his head.

Jason Cashe: "What did you poach?"

Sign language wasn't needed for his reply. The Vanilla Gorilla simply palm slapped his chest a few times.

Samuel L Reporter: "Motherfucker…"

There was silence that fell over the room as Ned, Cashe and SLR all looked at each other. This was a wild change of pace and not anything any of them would have expected. The Vanilla Gorilla stood on all fours with no shame.

Jason Cashe: "What kind of piece of shit hurts animals in general? I can get humans, adults, teenagers and a boot to a baby by accident at ringside, sure but Animals?!"

Ned Kaye: "Did you wear the costume while doing this job?"

Cashe snickered at the thought of it but again, they were surprised by the Gorilla nodding yes to the question.

Jason Cashe: "I'm about to contact Peta.."

Ned Kaye: "Frankly, this sounds like a lie to try and garner up some controversy. It's the most conspicuous disguise I've ever seen! Not a good call."

This made the Vanilla Gorilla angry. He began leaping up in place and slamming his fists into the ground as Gorillas do at times. Cashe thought how that couldn't feel good on the knuckles but fuck this Mascot.

Jason Cashe: "I don't think he likes you Ned.."

Ned Kaye: "I don't think I like him."

Jolting from the stage, the Vanilla Gorilla lunges at Ned Kaye! Pounces on him like a tackle hug and at first.. Cashe laughed! As the man in a White Gorilla costume started hammerfisting down at Ned on the ground, Cashe laughed. It was a dick move, sure.. But I mean.. That's funny! It took Samuel L Reporter shrieking like he was bent over getting a prostate exam before Cashe shook away the giggles.

Jason Cashe: "Hey! That's enough!"

Reaching to grab the Gorilla, Cashe didn't expect any kind of altercation. That was until the Vanilla Gorilla pushed the wrong button. More backhanded the wrong button which was Cashe's caaaawk piece. Right in the balls and Cashe buckled at the knees, stumbling back and having to grab the desk to keep himself from falling over. Nut shots hurt.

Samuel L Reporter: "I'm going to get security!!"

Out the door SLR ran. Cashe wasn't wanting security and as Ned shoved the Gorilla man off him, Cashe could see a rage in Ned's eyes.

Jason Cashe: "Fuck this.."

Grabbing the desk with both hands, Cashe lifts and swings it off the ground, overhead and brings it crashing down against the back of the Vanilla Gorilla. It causes the white hairy beast man to fall onto his stomach. Ned got to his feet and along with Cashe, the two started stomping away at the costumed Gorilla like it was a copy machine and this was Office Space. Damn it feels good to be a Gangsta!

Jason Cashe: "Poaching ass Vanilla Gorilla! Poach these size sixteens bitch!"

Ned readies himself before leaping onto and nearby table and drouble stomping the Gorilla! Cashe fell back dying with laughter! This was as wild as a zoo during a riot. Scurrying forward, Cashe punt kicks the Vanilla Gorilla to the side of his masked face and the man inside the suit goes limp.

Jason Cashe: "Bitch.."

Helping Ned to his feet, the two stand over the downed Albino Gorilla as a small security team barges into the room followed by Samuel L Reporter.

Jason Cashe: "All is good! Get this trash out of here!"

Ned Kaye: "This mascot shit is a disaster already."

Ned shook his head, facepalming while he chuckled at the absurdity of it all. Cashe patted Ned on the back as security gets the costumed man off the ground, dragging him towards the door. SLR was doing his part and holding it open and as they passed through to leave, he gave the Gorilla some parting words.

Samuel L Reporter: "Take that L Motherfucker!"

Jason Cashe: "He says Motherfucker pretty well.. Maybe he will end up having his own Invitational one day."

Samuel L Reporter: "Really?! You think so? HASHTAG THIS JUST IN!!"

The three of them laughed as the scene and the Auditions for Oklahoma Warfare come to an end.

'Ode to joy' plays

The stadium spotlights rush up toward the ceiling and Waters appears under the XTron. She marches to the beat of Ode To Joy, the crowd roaring, her gaze set squarely on the squared circle. She climbs through the ropes and takes the center of the ring. Raising a single fist into the air.

King's Affirmation by Iniko plays

The stadium falls into silent as a spotlight flashes onto the top of the stage, revealing the silhouette of Isaiah King, head bowed and wearing what looks like a leather jacket open at the front. As the base hits the speakers, he raises his head and takes a big breath. He slowly raises his fist into the air and his adoring fans scream in support. His mouth curls into a smile as he starts walking down towards the ring.

Introducing YOUR "Heir Apparent", Isaiah KIIIIIIIIINNNGGG!
He walks up to a fan wearing his merch, pressing his forehead up to his before continuing his way to the ring. Sliding under the bottom rope, he raises both hands to his side like a cross, palms open and challenging his opponent.

- vs -

The stadium falls into silent as a spotlight flashes onto the top of the stage, revealing the silhouette of Isaiah King, head bowed and wearing what looks like a leather jacket open at the front. As the base hits the speakers, he raises his head and takes a big breath. He slowly raises his fist into the air and his adoring fans scream in support. His mouth curls into a smile as he starts walking down towards the ring.
Introducing YOUR "Heir Apparent", Isaiah KIIIIIIIIINNNGGG!
He walks up to a fan wearing his merch, pressing his forehead up to his before continuing his way to the ring. Sliding under the bottom rope, he raises both hands to his side like a cross, palms open and challenging his opponent.

The stadium spotlights rush up toward the ceiling and Waters appears under the XTron. She marches to the beat of Ode To Joy, the crowd roaring, her gaze set squarely on the squared circle. She climbs through the ropes and takes the center of the ring. Raising a single fist into the air.

As Dolly is headed to the ring, a hooded figure hops the barricade and stands blocking her way! They’re accompanied in short order by another hooded figure, then another! Her music stops as she points to the TV title then at them menacingly. Two more hooded figures hop the barricade, and they have baseball bats. Dolly looks on, knowing she might have to defend herself. Suddenly…

The crowd starts going absolutely bananas. These hooded figures have been showing up in so many XWF matches, and now it looks like something is bound to change. Or Dolly is toast before her match. Either way, Thunder Knuckles struts out, grinning, holding a barbed wire baseball bat, pointing it down the ramp. Dolly glances back, knowing the score. This music means BOB is going to murder someone. The crowd sings along.


The hooded figures also look disoriented by the happenings, this wasn’t on their itinerary at all. As they glance around, from behind, Bobby Bourbon and Charlie Nickles attack! TK and Dolly charge the two hooded figures with bats as Bobby and Charlie clear the other three in short order! The Brotherhood of Bros annihilate the hooded figures along with Dolly! After they finish, Bobby, Charlie, and TK escort Dolly into the ring!

HHL: What’s happening here, Pip?

Bobby reaches into his pocket and pulls out a BOB shirt. Dolly puts it on!

PIP: Oh my, Dolly Waters has just joined the Brotherhood of Bros!

HHL: Ugh, that name is so grating.

As Thunder Knuckles, Charlie Nickles, and Bobby Bourbon continue to beat the crap out of more and more hooded figures, brawling away from the ring and out of the arena, the match gets underway!


As Isaiah King looks to tie up with Dolly, Waters rolls out of the ring, looking to chew up some time!

HHL: Waters is really doing this? She’s the one who thought up the time limit here!

Dolly rolls back in and glances up at King, stretching her neck. Dolly stands and faces King, and they both tie up! King presses the size advantage, but Dolly squirrels into a top wristlock on King! King transitions into an arm wrench. Dolly counters into a drop toe hold, and she rolls into a headlock! King slides Dolly back into a pinfall!



Dolly quickly moves to her feet, keeping the headlock on. King pushes off, shooting Dolly into the ropes! Dolly slides under the bottom rope and back to the outside!


The crowd turns and starts to boo Dolly heavily for taking another powder to the outside. King rolls out of the ring and gives pursuit to Dolly outside! Dolly rounds the ring and evades Isaiah, sliding into the ring! Isaiah rushes in, and before Dolly can powder out again, King grabs her by the scalp and pulls her back in the ring! King with a bulldog to Dolly to keep her from sneaking off again! King goes for a quick pin, trying to finish this up!



Dolly manages a shoulder up, and King realized she has more work to do here. King transitions into a chinlock, looking to wear down Dolly Waters.


Dolly struggles, and gets to her feet, still in a reverse chinlock, trying to fight back against King’s superior size. Dolly with a sneaky low blow to get out of the hold that Referee Muscles Marinara misses!

PIP: There’s the human game of chess, Heather…

HHL: I think Waters just played checkers.

Dolly turns and smiles at the referee, pointing at Isaiah King, then shrugs. Dolly is admitting she performed the low blow and is asking the referee to disqualify her so she can retain. The referee checks in with King to see if he can continue, and he nods. Isaiah King won’t give up! Flustered, Dolly rears back to kick King in the the dingaling again, right in front of the referee! The referee shouts at Dolly not to, but she throws the kick! King catches her foot! He throws the foot aside, causing Dolly to spin, and King connects with a gut punch! King follows through, landing on his back, and completing the Blade Sharperner!


Dolly stumbles back into the corner, and King stalks her. King goes in and throws another body shot, followed by another! King dumps Waters out of the corner, and sets to climb the turnbuckle! He’s slow going, still dealing with the pain of the low blow! Finally set on the top rope, King looks to fly, but Dolly rolls away and outside of the ring again, laying on the ring apron. King looks pissed and climbs down onto the ring apron. King raises Dolly up and throws a right! Dolly keels, holding on to the top rope to keep her balance, and comes back with a left! Another left from Waters! Dolly hops on the second rope, and springboards onto King with a headscissors, and both go to the arena floor! Both competitors are sprawled on the floor!

HHL: The champion once again taking this out of the ring!

PIP: That’s her plan, Heather, she can’t lose the Television Title on the arena floor!

Muscles Marinara starts his ten count!



King starts to pick himself off the floor. Dolly seems content to be content lying there, not making any effort to get up!



King slides back in the ring, but Dolly is still out there, and the referee continues to count! King looks frustrated, and looks down at Dolly, who is smiling back up at him!



King slides out of the ring and motions for Dolly to get back up! Dolly flips him the bird! King throws a stomp to Dolly!



King hoists Dolly and tosses her back in the ring, and he slides in right after, beating the count! Dolly runs from King, but rebounds off the ropes back towards him! King hits the deck and Dolly leaps over him, hitting the other ropes! Dolly rebounds, and King catches her, looking for a hip toss! Dolly flips through the hip toss and lands on her feet, continuing towards the opposite ropes! She leaps and connects with the Ode to Joy onto King! King goes down, and Dolly takes a breather, just standing in the corner, glancing at the clock ticking down on the XTron!


Nice. Dolly just shrugs and watches the clock tick as Isaiah King stirs after the Ode to Joy. Dolly turns and jaws with some fans, smiling the entire time. King finally gets to his feet, and Dolly gingerly approaches. Dolly with a leg kick to the reeling King. Dolly with another leg kick, sending King back down to a single knee! Dolly shoots off the ropes and comes back with a Yakuza kick! King doesn’t go down! Dolly looks flustered, and goes for another! King ducks the second Yakuza kick attempt! Dolly turns and is flattened by a discus punch! King with a swift pinfall attempt!



Kickout! Dolly looks shocked and appalled! King transitions into joint manipulation of Dolly’s hand! Dolly hollers in agony!

HHL: King has to be careful, dissecting an opponent when you’re on the clock is ill advised!

PIP: He’s working against himself playing the slow game!

King peels Dolly up to a vertical base, and boots her in the gut! King with a good old fashioned piledriver to the champion! King goes for another pin!



Dolly gets a foot on the ropes! King looks up in shock at the referee, then notices the foot on the ropes. King shakes his head like he can barely believe it!


HHL: We’re coming down to the wire here! Dolly’s shown multiple times she’s fine with whatever happens so long as she walks away with the title, but Isaiah King NEEDS to get the victory if he’s going to take the title for himself here!

Pip: That desperation is going to be King’s downfall, I can tell you that right now!

King moves forward, booting Dolly in the gut, and it looks like he’s trying to set up for the Guillotine of Destruction! He’s got his massive arms wrapped around Dolly’s face, and he’s about to jump back for the DDT - but Dolly manages to bring her hand up, jamming her thumb right into the challenger’s eye! King gasps out in pain as Dolly keeps pushing it in!

Referee Muscles Marinara finally gets involved, having to literally separate the two and keep at least some semblance of dignity intact for this match! He verbally berates Dolly, who’s coughing for air and shoving him off. King retreats to the corner, falling to a knee as he tries to get his vision back, and Dolly smirks as she knows what to do! She lunges in for that classic signature -



And now, like a shark, Isaiah King lunges in, bringing her right back to the center of the ring, wrapping his arms around one more time-


HHL: King trying to make a statement with this win! He had nothing but contempt for Dolly Waters coming into this match with her cheating ways, and he’s looking to try and put her in her place here!

Pip: Yeah, that’s cute and all from Isaiah King, but does he even have the time on the clock to even try and do something like this? If Dolly doesn’t tap, King might as well come out of this match with a loss, because he’s not walking away with that belt!

The fans are on their feet, chanting ‘TAP! TAP! TAP!’ at the top of their lungs! The ref slides in to take a look at the hold and ask Dolly if she’s tapping, but the TV champion replies by holding her hand up to the ref’s vision and wagging her finger ‘no!’ Still, she’s coughing and sputtering more and more by the minute - who knows how long she can last!

King’s veins are practically bulging out of his skull as he tightens his grip, really trying his best to suffocate the life out of Dolly! Dolly tries reaching around for the ropes, only to realize she’s in the middle of the ring! Nowhere to go! Do or die situation for the Television Championship and all the pride in the world!

But even with the high stakes, Dolly’s beginning to fade! She’s not having as much speed to her movements here, and her garbled chokes are starting to become more and more audible from within the hold! King isn’t letting up for a moment, letting that killer instinct take over as needed to take what’s rightfully his! The referee checks on one side to see if Dolly’s tapping out-




HHL: King needs to either force that submission or break the hold as soon as possible!






HHL: What happened?! Who won?

Pip: Can’t you see, Heather? It’s obvious! Dolly got the three count!

HHL: Oh, Pip, shut up for once! It’s clearly not so black-and-white here!

King keeps the submission applied for a few more seconds, not having realized what just happened as Referee Muscles Marinara has to get involved again and break the hold! King stares at him as Dolly tries coming to again, and it seems there’s a bit of confusion as to what’s going on!

Finally, the referee comes over at ringside, grabbing the Television Championship, before rolling into the ring and… awards it to Dolly?


HHL: King VERY clearly isn’t pleased with the result! He had Dolly tapping out in that hold!

WINNER and STILL Television Champion - Dolly Waters…?

HHL: Wait, Pip! Look at who’s coming down the ramp! It’s Head XWF Referee Chaz Bobo!

Pip: Oh, this oughta be good…

Chaz slides into the ring as Dolly gets to a seated position, hiding in the corner as she holds onto the title like she’s Gollum. King shoots her a dirty look, before turning his attention to the referees who are deadlocked in a heated conversation.

Pip: So, Heather. As the official ‘lips reader’ of the XWF, what are the refs talking about…?

HHL: I think there’s a discrepancy here between the refs. Muscles thinks the three-count had to have happened before Dolly tapped out to the Guillotine, while Chaz thinks Dolly tapped out before the three!

Pip: Oh, c’mon! This is cut and dry! Dolly clearly won, so she should be crowned already!

HHL: I dunno about that, Pip. With the roar of the crowd and your oxygen supply cutting off, it’d be very easy to miss a three-count happening beside you. If Dolly didn’t think she had the pin applied, there…

Finally, the refs seem to nod in agreement, and King has a clouded face as he overhears what the judgment is. Chaz takes the lead and talks quietly talks to ring announcer Tig O’Bitties, explaining the situation to her. Finally, she takes the mic-

Tig: Ladies and gentlemen, we will be conducting an official replay review to determine the proper winner of the main event!

The fans cheer as they realize there’s a chance Dolly might not be walking out of here, after all! Dolly scowls at the ringside officials, before she tries to slip out of the ring! She’s got her prize, and she’s trying to walk off with it-

-but not before Isaiah King grabs Dolly Waters by the hair and THROWS her back into another corner! The two lock eyes, and it’s clear to see King isn’t letting Dolly slip away like this if she didn’t win!

HHL: This is certainly unprecedented territory for the XWF, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a shrewd decision here by the Head Referee Chaz Bobo here!






[red]HHL: Yes! You see it before the hand slaps down again! Dolly tapped out before the three-count!

Pip: What utter horseshit! Dolly’s getting screwed!

The referees slide into the ring, taking the championship from a flabbergasted Dolly Waters and handing it over to Isaiah King!

Winner and NEEEEEWWWWW Television Champion - Isaiah King!

King takes a good, long moment in the center of the ring to stare down at his new prize with the crowd popping and erupting around him! Two times a Television Champion, and well-deserved here after the hardship tonight! King looks over his shoulder, seeing a very cross Dolly Waters arguing with the refs, and smiling at her misfortune!

Holding the belt to the sky, King then walks to the back, turning back to a clouded demeanor as he knows he has more targets to stay focused on after this. With King beginning his walk to the back, that leaves Dolly throwing a small temper tantrum in the ring, punting the bottom turnbuckle before grabbing a mic from ringside and speaking.

You know what? Fine, you piece of trash! Enjoy that TV title, it's beneath me anyway because I've got a HUGE announcement to make!

The crowd continues booing over Dolly.

That's right fatsos, boo all you want!

Boo until you choke on yer’ hotdogs!

Yer’ all just mad because not a single one of you in this crowd, and not a single wrestler in that locker room can shut me up for good! So go home and take it out on yer’ wives and children for all I care…

The arena is nearly shaking from the roars of disapproval,


You jack-wagons LOVED IT when Isaiah King was talking about child abuse in his promos, I’m just out here trying to relate!

Trying to lower my vibrations to meet you all on an even plane of reality!

I’m an empath, after all!

See how kind I am?

See how considerate I am?

I put on wrestling clinics, devoid of all of those clown-show stipulations week after week, I show you all what REAL wrestling is about, and you people STILL don’t get it! You idiots buy wrestling tickets and come boo the only actual wrestling you’ll see on XWF programming.

Hell, there’s an entire locker room of “wrestlers” in the back who don’t get it either. An entire corporate office of XWF management doesn't get it…

So allow me to display my kindness, my givingness, my selflessness once again! I’m going to do those “wrestlers” in the back a favor, because right here, right now, I’m officially announcing that I, YOUR the greatest Television Champion of all time, Dolly Waters will be captaining a team for XWF WarGames!

PC: whoa! Sign me up, Captain Waters!

HHL: For the first time ever, Dolly Waters will be a WarGames captain! Two years ago she helped lead Charlie’s Carnies to the finals, and last year was bounced early by the historic SpeedRun team. It’s one thing to participate in WarGames, it’s another thing entirely to draft and captain a team.

PC: Dolly Waters is a born leader, heather! A two time tag champion, a lethal lottery and war games finalist, and not to mention the head coach of LFL’s first place New York Pride! If I’m a competitor in WarGames this year, my fingers are crossed that I get drafted by Captain Waters!

…but that’s not all!

My kindness, my light, my positivity, my VICTORY knows no bounds! Captaining a team at WarGames is a gift to the wrestlers in the back, sure, but I also have a gift for all of the REAL wrestling fans in the world:

In four weeks, the shit show circus act also known as Weekend Warfare will be suspended and replaced by…




PC: Holy shit, heather!!!!

Hosted by yours truly!

Live, Again!

From Ye’ Ole’ fuckin’ Commune in Coreytopia, Florida!

HHL: MayDay! Two years ago, that free wrestling show hosted by Dolly went down as arguably the gold standard of talent-ran super cards!

And the first official match for MayDay2?

…The WarGames Captain Match!

PC: Whoa! The all important match that will determine the draft order for WarGames is going to be held in Dolly’s back yard!

HHL: I don’t know if I like this, Pip. Seems unfair

But the fans seem to love it, the announcement of MayDay 2 has them shifted into an uproar of applause!

Who else will be joining me in the Captains match? Well I’ll leave that up to XWF “Management” but in the meantime and just like last time, MayDay will be totally free to the public!

More applause!

Its my way of giving back, fer’ everything the XWF, and you fans have done fer my career, only…

None of you-

She points around the stands

-spiritually sick, soda pop chugging, circus wrestling loving, disgusting slobs in Oklahoma are invited!

This will be a DIVINE program, brought to you exclusively by: Dolly’s Divine Timing!

Dolly holds up a box of her new Divination Tea product. She poses and smiles for the camera.

Ode to Joy hits the speakers as she tosses the mic to the ground and makes her exit from the arena.

Special thank you to all Match and Segment Writers for this show:

The GM Team
Mark Flynn
Dolly Waters
Bobby Bourbon
Charlie Nickles
Jason Cashe
Jenny Myst
Raion Kido
Sidney Grey

And everyone else who RPed for this show!

RE: Weekend Warfare - April 8th - Raion Kido - 04-09-2023

“There is here a lesson in humility, but it is one for me to learn. 

I had sought this win for a year - and now that I have finally obtained it, I am at peace. Mr. Bourbon - this was my honor. Let us do it again down the line!"

RE: Weekend Warfare - April 8th - Prof. Bobby Bourbon - 04-09-2023


Dude, you put me in a submission hold with my belly on the mat, and a fucking three count hits?

If you're proud of that, you're a piece of garbage.

RE: Weekend Warfare - April 8th - Cadryn Tiberius - 04-09-2023


You proved to me tonight that you are more than your words.

I respect you, and you'll always have a seat at my table.

Well done, tonight. As I said, I don't make enemies, I make memories, and that as I predicted, was as memorable as a match can be!