X-treme Wrestling Federation
Another Jason in the Cashe - Printable Version

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Another Jason in the Cashe - Jenny Myst - 02-08-2023

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH

Boots hitting snow, lifting, and hitting snow again. It was a blistering cold day in central nowhere Canada, and it was far from anywhere considered "civilization". The wind howled, creating rosy cheeks and chattering teeth, and two small women trudged through the unforgiving landscape towards seemingly endless nothingness.

"I PROMISE, it'll be better than the raw bar. PROMISE."

Blonde hair snuck out from under the purple snow cap. The woman accompanying her was dressed in a red snowsuit. It was magnificent.

“Are we there yet, Jen? We’ve been walking for an HOUR!”

“Patience, commish”

*winks*

“Oh Lord, don't even get me STARTED on that…”

Jenny finally slows down.

“I think it's right…….about……here!”

She brushes some snow off of what looks like a giant rock, only to reveal a large metal……..box?

On it was a padlock. Jenny removed one of her snow gloves and pulled the key out of her bra, unlocking the box and pushing the creaky top open.

“I needed your opinion on a few things……"

"Finally! You've been needing advice on your aesthetic for YEARS! Let's start with your-”

She reaches deep into the box and drags out, a man. A burley man, with tattoos and a beard. He has a cigarette frozen into his hands.

"...hobo? You have PEOPLE in there?”

“Its my Cashe. These are my Jason’s.”

"I...wait...wut?

“They all look the same, act the same, talk the same, smell the same. There is no difference between these Jasons.”

She pulls out more and more of the people in the crate, all identical. All of them a perfect match to Jason Cashe.

“They all look the same, act the same, talk the same, smell the same. There is no difference between these Jasons.”

She pulls out more and more of the people in the crate, all identical.

"....you...you have a cache...of the 4CW guy?"

“Never know when I’ll need a jobber to beat on! Best be prepared, ya kno? I pull one out every week for practice purposes. Do you have one you like best?”

Lacklan blinks many, many times.

"All Jason’s are the same, Sar. There is nothing different or unique about him. Just another tatted up cowboy with an unearned ego and the absolute NEED to rub in our faces being the third wheel in Theo's 'over' orgy. Nothing like having colorful tattoos to cover up a beige personality....”

Sarah grumbles something about "...nothing wrong with tats, Jen..." as she looks at the pile.

"Bleh...what a pile of blandness. Over a year in XWF and the best he's got to say for himself is that his girl is hot and he's part of a stable no one cares about. Ummm..."

She points at them randomly.

"Eenie, Meanie, Minnie, #TallerThanThad, MOE!"

“PERFECTO. This particular Jason is……oh what can I say they all suck. They all suck just.....so....so bad.”

She smiles.

“I need to make some room in the box for my Noah Jackson collection. After Anarchy, my Jason's will be Jackson's and I'm not quite sure how I'll handle the change........"

*Sniffles, but it could have been the cold*

"Wanna help me dispose of the rest?”

“How?”

*shrugs*

“Woodchipper?”

Sarah's eyes bug out behind her glasses as she throws up her hands and spins away on her heel.

"NOPE!"

“Suit yourself” the woodchipper turns on as Sarah walks away.

Jenny can be heard singing "Let It Go" from Disney's "FROZEN" as the squeal of the chipper and the crunch that follows means another Jason gone from the cashe.

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH

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“You’ve made quite the career for yourself over here on Anarchy, Jay Jay. One of the focal points of every show, with exciting matches and rich-as-molasses rivalries. You’ve really become a staple to the brand. Surely you’d get rewarded for your efforts of keeping this bargain basement brand afloat, wouldn’t ya? One would think.

But here is Jason Cashe, aimlessly floating around the mid-card with no direction or purpose whilst providing some of the best content on the show. What gives? Surely, by now, you’d have elevated to the top of the card and be competing for the brand title night in and night out, and providing a little ‘stability’ to the ‘anarchy.’ But you aren’t, are you? You are meandering around while Ruby, Mastermind, Centurion, Tommy Wish, you name it, dominate the Main Event scene. I know, I know, you beat all of them.”


*aggressive eye roll*


“You weren’t in a single Main Event in 2022, yet you are the one getting this title shot? You’re first Main Event since being too far back to remember, and it's you who has to fall on this sword? You may look at this as an honor Jason but it's clear as day that Vinnie fed you to the hungry lion. You were the expendable piece of meat he could afford to sacrifice so that his real ‘talent’ didn’t spend time on Injured Reserve.

So welcome to the Main Event, welcome to X-treme rules, welcome to real competition and welcome to your untimely demise. Maybe if you put up a good fight, Theo will come save you from the doldrums and give you a real fightin’ chance at being something besides Vinnie Lane filler talent.

You had a chance to be a champion, and you lost to a fucking caveman (who isn’t even on the roster anymore). You’ve never been champion here, and never will be. You’re just a run of the mill, same-old-tired nobody whose trying to make his name at my expense.

You had your Super Bowl victory when you pinned me at War Games. That victory was the pinnacle of your career, the peak of the summit, the absolute ceiling for you. Hell if I were you, I'd get a still image made of it, frame it, and put it on the wall in your single wide trailer. It may be worth something someday. Then again, how many times have they said that about you? 


You did. 
THEY. NEVER. HAVE.

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