Masturbation, Mockery, and Moxley -- OH MY! (Trio titles)

Masturbation, Mockery, and Moxley -- OH MY! (Trio titles) - Printable Version

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Masturbation, Mockery, and Moxley -- OH MY! (Trio titles) - Unknown Soldier - 07-12-2013

I do appreciate a dirty slut....
♫ ♬
You and me Deano
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
Ain't nothin' but

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
So let's do it like they do
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
with a spit and a swallow?

The dull and dilapidated clouds hanging over the sky on a rich Wednesday afternoon flooded with rain fall and humid air following a very hot Tuesday. The scene of attention is not what takes place outside this large superstore, but rather inside a large strip mall from which the panoramic sky view is brought down towards eye level. It is here where the bustling parking lot filled with anxious shoppers loads people in and out of this giant shopping center. The doors fly open automatically by the prescience of either your body or the camera man operating this scene. The flowing red carpet with gold diamond shaped patterns laced with silver octagon prisms filled the floor of the entire superstore and invited guests to follow the pattern, like we were now in the Wizard of Oz. A sign at the end of the hallway draws our attention and focus as we seemingly float and/or walk down this path at a brisk pace; weaving in and out of the crowds of human shopping drones.

The sign reads....

'Car Insurance Taste Test -------->'

Naturally this arrow directs us to the attention of the majority of the crowd, as many others weave in and out of the stores, more pedestrians seem to be conglomerated in an area directed at this arrow pointing towards our immediate right. Why are we following this arrow? What strange force brought us to this mall to witness a rip off of a Geico commercial?

But this isn't just any commercial...

It's got two special guest actors portraying the salesman, in this brief stint of television that could only be broadcast on SATAN! TV.

Dante Kyllen and Gregoo both stand behind a small fold up table with two small clear cups that are half filled with some type of clear/white soupy mixed substance. I'm sure you already might guess where this is about to go...

Dante Kyllen: "Step right up ladies, gentlemen, and children of all ages and learn how to save thousands of dollars by switching to Geico for car insurance!"

A small green lizard comes crawling out of Greggo's pants. The two foot tall, cartoon lime green colored lizard, stands at attention and salutes Dante and Greggo then scampers out of sight.

A small crowd begins to gather as a heavy set middle aged woman slowly walks up to the table; somehow not disturbed by their odd appearances and behaviors. Being as that Greggo was the only person wearing pants and the (booty) shorts he was wearing were higher than his testicles which slightly draped outside the leg holes.

Chubby Lady: "What's this about saving money on car insurance?"

Greggo: "Howdeh.... Fat Pam, that's right and we are offering you a chance to taste exactly how much savings and benefits you'll receive from switching to Geico."

Fat Pam: "My name is Sarah."

Greggo doesn't seem to care or respond to that statement, and decides that for all practical purposes to just continue calling her Fat Pam from now on. The bitch didn't seem to care as long as she was on television.

Greggo: "This first car insurance will call 'Insurance XX', here give it a try."

Greggo hands the overweight lady a small glass with about six ounces of liquid. Tilting this cup backwards the contents slowly starts dripping off the bottom of the cup, down the head, and into the mouth of this overgrown pig of a woman. Greggo reaches across the table and begins lightly tapping on the bottom to make sure all of the sticky substance makes it's way down her throat.

Fat Pam: "Not bad... A bit salty and tasting of slime but overall a good sample."

Greggo: "Why thank you Fat Pam, this is generally the more accepted choice after all. In fact, 5 million people switched to this car insurance just last year and saved on an average $5,000 a year on car insurance. "

Dante Kyllen: "Give her 'Insurance XY!'"

Greggo: "Calm down Dante... Sorry Fat Pam, he gets really excited about Insurance XY... It's not as much savings but...."

Greggo hands over the second cup and that dirty bitch guzzles it down quickly stopping Greggo from continuing his sentence. Putting things in her fat mouth was more important than conversation. She gargles it in the back of her throat for a brief period, then swallows....

Greggo: "And what did you think of that car insurance Miss Fatty Mc-Fat-Fat."

Fat Pam: "It tasted exactly the same..."

Dante Kyllen: "So you can't decide between the girl or the boy?"

Greggo is infuriated at Dante's statements and acts out in frustration.

Greggo: "Dante! Why did you ruin it!"

Fat Pam: "I'm sorry, I don't understand... Girl or boy tasting?"

Greggo: "Yes ma'am, you see just like car insurance and taste testing, this silly commercial combines two elements of opposite appearances to such an odd degree of indifference; which then provides for a very humorous setting. The first cup that you swallowed (XX) will provide you a girl; while the second (XY) will provide you with a boy. So I ask you again Fats Waller, which one was more delectable on your palate?"

Fat Pam: "I had a feeling I knew what that was..."

Greggo: "Oh, so you've tasted it before then? Slutty Fat Pam."

The woman runs off screaming while both Dante and Greggo laugh hysterically. They look back down at the empty glasses that now sit on top of the table...

Dante Kyllen: "Time for a refill!"

Greggo: "REFILL!"

Both parties then whip out the other's fully erect penis and help the other reach climax again to fill the cups for the next (un)satisfied customer.

This naturally scares off the majority of those standing in line waiting to get on television for the next shot in the commercial. Is it really worth drinking that just to get on television? Well, this old and senile couple must still think so as they walk to the front acting as if they hadn't seen a thing. Which they probably didn't by the appearance of obvious Alzheimer disease of some kind.

[Image: 1280-geico-taste-test-campaign.jpg]

Greggo: "Howdeh... would you like me to show you how you can save money on car insurance today..."

Old Lady: "Absolutely sonny, the premiums for us elders are through the roofs!"

Greggo: "Just listen and learn Old Mother Hubbard."

Old Mother Hubbard: "My name's Grace."

Greggo: "Do you still live inside that shoe?"

--------------------

Unknown Soldier: "Well it's about time folks. Dean Moxley opened his mouth and unfortunately it wasn't so that I could turn it into a 'fap fap' machine with my penis. That's the running joke ain't that right Deano? Let's see who can be the bigger

? Now we're even sitting here singing popular rap and R&B songs to our gayest little rhyme or tune. Just remember before I rape you worse than I already have Hunter Payne, that it was YOU who started this whole self radicalized image of a homosexual spreading his 'gayness' about to then make fun of the straight population. Oh, that and the infamous 'Gilmour is fat jokes.' A job well done by all three of you gimps this week by the way, to point out how plump and piggy that fat son of a bitch is. It's about time somebody told him the truth because it's NEVER happened before. Just like Hunter Payne, Dwayne Johnson thinks he can toss up random images of fat people dancing in thongs. I mean, that's just lazy my friend. How hard is it to come up with a decent fat joke these days? Even Seth Rogan can make one of those funny."

Tee hee...

Ha fucking ha...

Unknown Soldier: "Congratulations guys... You're officially as mean and hurtful as an eight grade girl cyber bully. I hope you're all proud of yourselves. That shit might work against Peter Gilmour, but I'm going to officially pull the wool over everyone's eyes on all your pathetic horse shit. I'm guessing Dwayne Johnson knew that and that's why he hasn't had much to say about me, most likely saw me rape Hunter already... Good call Schlongy boy.... Because if you think you're looking brilliant with your... duh her de derrrr deerrp 'His first name is Unknown and that's the proper name because I've never heard of him' you've got to be kidding yourself even? But then again I guess we all need to realize that you're nothing but an unoriginal piece of trash, so maybe I shouldn't have expected much to begin with."

Unknown Soldier: "So, let's get back to the ignorant walking male chromosome consumer known as Deano Moxley McGobblern. I know your game Dean, because I play to the same fiddle as you but the only difference is I don't just do it to be an attention whore. You know, the part where you appear to be as flamboyantly gay as possible."

Unknown Soldier: "Just like it's helping many around the world to 'come out the closet' to get some notoriety. Hell, it's worked for you now hasn't it... European Champion.... Xtreme Champion... Good Job Deano. You're such a good little

and you didn't even know it. Because it's funny right? To call someone a

because their watching a

doing

things."

Unknown Soldier: "You know, the constant gay jokes over who can suck dick the longest or... Who's got the ripest ass for fucking? Or maybe which one of our ball sacks hang the lowest? I'm sure you and I could go on for hours and hours naming off random sexual encounters... You already tried that counter once when you couldn't come up for anything better for the 'fetus raping' incident..."

Quote:Deano Moxley: "Well he can rape a fetus, a cactus, a Prius, and even his own phallus but it won't make him any hotter than Dean, baby.

Unknown Soldier: "How about a hedgehog, frying pan, dental hygienist, leapfrog, or a unicorn. I always wanted to rape and be raped by one of those. Let's throw out some more ridiculous things... oh.... except this time get really fucking gay with it. I'm talking gayer than that Will and Grace show gay."

Quote:Deano Moxley: "Get me that info on the Unknown Soldier so I can properly prepare for the right angle to enter him from. He's the type that's going to come into the match liking the sound of a sexual encounter and he'll have to act super dooper sick and scary to try and 1-up this straight up mack daddy playboy before you..."

Unknown Soldier: "OH, I see what you did there... You thought this statement might be able to save your ass from me '1 upping,' you by getting gayer and more flamboyant than you. HaHa! I guess you fail to realize that the truth of the matter is you can't admit I'm actually better at your own gimmick than you are. Did you already know this and that's why you decided to respond in such a fashion? I tell you what then Deano, I promise that when it's Hunter Payne and 'Shlong Patrol' out in the ring I'll rape them. But when it's just me and you Deanny Boy I'll make sweet, sweet love to you in the ring. I'll let you hold onto the one thing you've got... Your homosexual but incredibly homophobic gay bashing persona."

Quote:Deano Moxley: "BUT A REAL MATCH. When? Where? Who was in it? Who won? Who died? Who got fucked in the ass? I want details and I want them now, mister!"

Unknown Soldier: "I can't tell you the last time I had a match to be honest. That's at least five hundred acid trips, seven thousand bottles of vodka, and a half pound of meth ago. But what I can tell you was the last time I BAILED on a match. That was never. Sure, gave up a title to Crimson Dong to make a mockery of the belt that you brag about taking from him. But then couldn't cut the cake and pulled the same stunt as me and dropped the title on Matt Ward. By also looking like a coward and bailing on the match at the same time. Ran away from a match like a coward so that you could... what was it again... 'take the weekend off.' Ha! The same person who has the nerves to call me a 'part timer.' Did the 'big bad' Steve Davids scare you off?"

Quote:Deano Moxley: "Oh man that's so true but more importantly he is a part timer who is probably two slams away from being permanently crippled and forcefully taken out of wrestling forever."

Unknown Soldier: "Maybe I wouldn't have to be such a part timer if it only took half the effort to decimate a gimmick that's fueled through the sexual frustrations of a pathetic frat boy who suddenly turned gay after three beers and a pillow talk session with one of his brothers."

------

The scene fades back into the mall where the older couple is now walking away from the table of our two disgusting semen salesmen. The mall is beginning to close and they are running out of time and customers. Eventually it is evident that the final two cups might be going to waste. That is..

until...

Both men grab hold of one cup..

Raise their glasses and with a very fucking gay looking smile.. Greggo proclaims a toast.

Greggo: "To Dean Moxley!"

Dante Kyllen: "To Dean Moxley!"

The two then tap glasses and intertwine their arms so that they are now serving the other person the glass they are holding. Both men glurp down their own man juice (or they could be enjoying each other's) and let out a long belch. Greggo coughs up a wet bubble that floats us away from the scene like a child using a bubble shooter gun.

The Cum Lust

1. Deano Moxley McGobblern
2. Dwyane 'The Schlong' Johnson
3. Hunter Payne