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+--- Thread: The Ridiculous Ways (/showthread.php?tid=44455)
The Ridiculous Ways - Mr. Oz - 08-31-2022
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm in what is essentially a pity match. 'Oswald keeps turning up and putting on great shows. Oh, he's getting angry at not being shown the respect he deserves? Fine. Let's put him in a prove yourself match with three other people who don't realize their role in this company. Who don't realize that this match is for nothing, has no actual stakes, and doesn't fucking matter in the long run.' I don't understand how you people are going to try as if an actual title is on the line, or like this match truly matters.
If it mattered, if we weren't just a pity show for the fans, there'd be stakes. Like, whoever wins this match, gets an Anarchy title shot. Or once they do win, they can even force the Tag Team Champions onto Anarchy for a match.
Literally anything in the match would be better than this bullshit.
LSM got pinned by a fucking idiot and lost her X-Treme title.
Cashe had so much promise and now he's fucking worth nothing.
And Ruby has definitely been nothing since she lost the Anarchy title.
I don't need titles to make people understand who I am and what I do. How good of a wrestler I am and how big of a draw my damn name alone, is.
At Anarchy, whether we win or lose, I came, I saw, I hurt them. I made them hate the very thought of my existence and made sure they understood that I am not a fucking joke. I am not the man that they want to fuck around and find out with. Do I lose? Yes.
But my opponents lose more. Their very soul. Their very physical being. I hurt people. I maim people. I make them go to the goddamn hospital a bloodied and broken mess.
I am the God Champion of the XWF. You people need to be throwing yourselves at my very feet and UNDERSTAND that my very fucking presence is what saves this show and rises it above Savage and Warfare. People flock to Anarchy to see what Big Money Oswald does. They don't chant for your names. They'll never cheer for you imbeciles. You slack-jawed, absolute late to the party, mentally, motherfuckers. You may beat me, but you will never beat me. Do you understand me? Do you actually listen when I talk or do you think of me so goddamn pitiful that I'm below you, so under your rank that you feel you don't need to hear me?
Good. Because when I'm demolishing you. When I'm rending flesh from the bone. When I am making you cry out 'STOP! STOP!', you will finally listen to me. By that time, you won't be forgiven. You won't be allowed to breathe another word, as I put your ass to sleep with the Billion Dollar Dream.
See at Anarchy. Bring your pillows."
He moves his hands into the 'go to sleep' gesture as the camera fades to black.