Calling all Bastards - Printable Version

Calling all Bastards - Printable Version

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Calling all Bastards - Prof. Bobby Bourbon - 07-23-2022

So, looks like a few of my partners for War Games have bitched out.

I am hereby officially asking Brother Charlie Knuckles to come to War. I am making the call to Brother Thunder Knuckles to go to War.

We are the Brotherhood of Bastards, and the failings of two others shall not be looked at lightly. Or some such.

Calling all Bastards - Charlie Nickles - 07-23-2022

I HATE that this must be done, Brother Bourbon....

But I can not refuse a bastard's call. If anyone is going to be laying hands on my daughter at War Games..........IT'S GONNA BE ME!!!!*

*pending official approval

re:Calling all Bastards - Thunder Knuckles™ - 07-24-2022

Coming "LIVE" via Satellite, TK is shown at sitting in his office at the Wrigley Gum company. He also doesn't look pleased.

What? Do you think I wouldn't show up for a call of action, mother fuckers? We call this the element of surprise!

Suddenly Jimmy bust through the door.

NO! Absolutely not! You can't enter War Games! You're risking everything!

TK smirks.

Well, I mean shit, who says I don't just get two eliminations and knock this bitch out of the park? Plus, what's more Xtreme than this, eh?

NO!!!

TK's cocky smirk becomes a welcoming smile and waves Jimmy over.

Jimmy, come here.

Jimmy walks over to TK, as Jimmy approaches TK's smile fades. With quickness, TK's open hand meets the side of Jimmy's face. Jimmy's head snaps so fast that it sends him falling to the floor unconscious.

Shut the fuck up.

TK looks back into the camera.

Who's afraid of a roster that's been too goddamn afraid to try and pin me? I'm fucking in, Bobby.

*pending official approval

re:Calling all Bastards - Prof. Bobby Bourbon - 07-24-2022

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re:Calling all Bastards - Mercy - 07-24-2022

Hey all, Madison Dyson speaking on behalf of Mercy again.

Ya know, I've never seen the integrity of a pro wrestling event absolutely fucking PLUMMET as hard as War Games 2022. First we see former Universal Champion Thad Duke sub in for legit waste of oxygen Savannah Knightly, and now we get pissy piggy Bourbon hand picking replacements for the shitty end of his team, filling the slots with his own faction mates.

Miss Machina, it probably would have behooved us just to have one of your team mates fail to promo. We probably could have scored Alias as a replacement.

What a fucking joke. This whole event should just be advertised with a big ol asterisk next to it.

re:Calling all Bastards - Prof. Bobby Bourbon - 07-24-2022

(07-24-2022, 05:07 AM)Mercy Said: Hey all, Madison Dyson speaking on behalf of Mercy again.

Ya know, I've never seen the integrity of a pro wrestling event absolutely fucking PLUMMET as hard as War Games 2022. First we see former Universal Champion Thad Duke sub in for legit waste of oxygen Savannah Knightly, and now we get pissy piggy Bourbon hand picking replacements for the shitty end of his team, filling the slots with his own faction mates.

Miss Machina, it probably would have behooved us just to have one of your team mates fail to promo. We probably could have scored Alias as a replacement.

What a fucking joke. This whole event should just be advertised with a big ol asterisk next to it.

I agree. If only Mercy was half good at what she did she wouldn't have to rely on someone else failing.

Tell your client I said to get good, you can blame Marfolomew and Cholo for pulling a disappearing act, and it ain't pissing and moaning if you're actually solving a problem.

Sorry some of us solve problems a little more creatively than others. Not sorry.

Tell Tommy I said hi!

re:Calling all Bastards - Mr. Oz - 07-24-2022

(07-24-2022, 05:07 AM)Mercy Said: Hey all, Madison Dyson speaking on behalf of Mercy again.

Ya know, I've never seen the integrity of a pro wrestling event absolutely fucking PLUMMET as hard as War Games 2022. First we see former Universal Champion Thad Duke sub in for legit waste of oxygen Savannah Knightly, and now we get pissy piggy Bourbon hand picking replacements for the shitty end of his team, filling the slots with his own faction mates.

Miss Machina, it probably would have behooved us just to have one of your team mates fail to promo. We probably could have scored Alias as a replacement.

What a fucking joke. This whole event should just be advertised with a big ol asterisk next to it.

"You know nothing of what moves I made behind the scenes. I wanted to give Cholo a chance. After all, if someone is unknown, might as well see if they can hang with the big boys. Marf failed us as well. Mercy or you, don't get to complain, because your fucking team came through. As always, I can only count on the Bastards."

re:Calling all Bastards - Mercy - 07-24-2022

Oh boy, I'm so glad I have Bobby Bourbon to explain to me that circumventing the entire point of War Games and failing upwards is just being CREATIVE. Thank you for that Bobby Bourbon. And thank you for revealing that you have no problem skirting the rules of an entire event so long as it's to your benefit. You fucking ass jack.

And it's so totally squares that a sad sack "5-D chess master" like Broken Oswald would try to play off his lack of draft skills like some kind of strategic masterstroke. Bitch, you're blatantly cheating not pulling a brilliant powerplay.

re:Calling all Bastards - Prof. Bobby Bourbon - 07-24-2022

Cool story, Madison. You know, I get you're worried for your client and all, but I will say, those bits with you and Tommy in his promos? The best you've ever looked on screen. Was it the lighting? I dunno.

Also, feel free to pull your client, I'm sure Alias will step right in for her and get the results she won't. Kinda weird how both you and that Corey Smith fella seem to think Alias is like Superman, I thought you two were opposites!

But, on that note, since when is asking your friends for help actually cheating? I have no idea that the brass will allow them into the match, but no idea why they wouldn't want the guy who had the guts to square up to Alias multiple times and the current Xtreme Champ on one of their yearly pay-per-view events. They seem a lot more relevant than Mercy.

re:Calling all Bastards - Mercy - 07-24-2022

You are literally subverting the entire concept of the PPV in an attempt to secure a win. There is nothing you can say that makes that provably untrue. Nothing.

But hey, if you and management is okay dokie with that, not much I can do about it.

re:Calling all Bastards - Latina Submission Machina - 07-24-2022

(07-24-2022, 05:07 AM)Mercy Said: Hey all, Madison Dyson speaking on behalf of Mercy again.

Ya know, I've never seen the integrity of a pro wrestling event absolutely fucking PLUMMET as hard as War Games 2022. First we see former Universal Champion Thad Duke sub in for legit waste of oxygen Savannah Knightly, and now we get pissy piggy Bourbon hand picking replacements for the shitty end of his team, filling the slots with his own faction mates.

Miss Machina, it probably would have behooved us just to have one of your team mates fail to promo. We probably could have scored Alias as a replacement.

What a fucking joke. This whole event should just be advertised with a big ol asterisk next to it.

We're wasting our time finding serial killers, when we could've been killing off our weakest links LIKE serial killers! AY DIOS MIO! My great leadership is actually HURTING our team now! Dyson, I'm shocked Mercy didn't come up with this murderous idea earlier, before it was too late! Alias would have been a fine replacement...but personally, I'd rather have Atara Themis join the team! She's fuego! And maybe we can kick off Soldier and get Lacklan in here! #TEAMAMIGA