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+---- Thread: Estos son mis pensamientos... Tómelo o déjelo. (/showthread.php?tid=42864)
Estos son mis pensamientos... Tómelo o déjelo. - Reggie Estrada - 02-08-2022
This is a shoot, this is how I am feeling at this moment. Right now, I’m at my home thinking about committing suicide, but god told me not to pull the revolver out of my bathroom drawer, load the bullet in, and cock it to my temple to blow my brains off my walls in the bathroom itself. What caused me to go to these extreme measures?
Well, it’s my shitty family situation… then being on a long flight to Iceland, which was a pain… then losing the fucking X-Treme championship at that pay per view. From that point on, my whole life was built around this false notion of me being able to hold a piece of tin, that even someone’s grandma can hold for price of ten cents to a dollar. A belt, that I worked hard to get and all that cliché shit, now just gone.
Fuck it, I was going to straight up quit without a two week notice at the XWF offices, fuck fillin out the left over dates it’s not like they would notice me gone off the roster. To be honest, I made the mistake of tryin to become this superhero of the X-Treme division, tried to be the man of the division and shit; when in reality they already had set a stone to be the one running that fucking division itself. You know who you are, and I hope you enjoy the sloppy fourths and fifths that whore of a championship that’s been passed around before it even existed on your waist. Am I bitter over the belt being gone? If the suicide was an indication, then I was at that moment in my life when I got back from Iceland.
I didn’t know that I would be so overly reliant on a belt, that now just thinking about it makes me sick to my gut. It makes me wish that I should have just let another person take it away from me in the X-Treme hallway many weeks prior, just so I would have been able to roam the place knowin that I have managed to become a three time X-Treme champion, that neither Tommy or JB could image ever happening to say the least. It’s like when I meet my first baby mother in San Diego, it was all happiness and sunshine, I was in trance of a false happiness when secretly I knew that me and her weren’t going to get along. I even thought about marrying her in order to set a family to her first born, but I decided against it.
Now, I’m all alone in my home talking to a camera, feeling alone and abandoned in my own sense of negative thoughts and energy. It’s like, I feel that I am no good for this world without being able to feel complete with either hoe or a material good that’s just going to mean nothing in the end. I mean, look at me, I’m all a mess, my hair is a mess, I haven’t showered in over about a week and everything. I just am in a point where I can’t seem to dig myself up from the beach sand, just waiting for a riptide to just take me away or kill me off.
I know all this talk about death, abandonment, and other negative terms of endearment I place on this video might not be a cause of concern, or maybe it’s more like “woe is me” type of shit. Well either way, this is my message to the XWF fans, that Reggie Estrada is a broken man. A broken afro-latino man who’s more broken then Big Money Oswald’s bank account. A broken man, who’s just isn’t afraid to call it quits and just pull the trigger. What you see, is a so called former three time X-Treme champion in his home being all sad and shit. I am not proud of it, but this is an awakening for me honestly.
When the chamber missed the bullet that night, it was some kind of divine intervention of a higher power telling me that it’s not the time for me to see the other side, just yet. I live in sin, but that how it always goes for me. I didn’t go to no church, but I do have a bible on my nightstand I like to read as I say my prayers, and I think it helped me to not see my brains splattered. If I did do what I had done, no more pain, no more THUGS, and not being able to not show my face at Savage against HGH. Maybe, he would have won by straight up forfeit over me pulling a benoit on myself, and been sent to the shadow realm like others before and after me on the XWF shit list.
I might not be the best wrestler on the planet, but I know how to handle myself with any situations in front of me. This was a minor setback, and it’s time for me to move on into something more better for me, which is just me focusing on kicking people’s asses with no title on me, I already had my time now it’s someone else to be dealing with the burden I had to hold onto. Now, it’s time to let my new side of being a Filthily Animal blossom, and show the world that I am back to rip shit up.
HGH, you don’t know that you are facing a new man who’s ready to tear that MJF looking Burberry wearin bitch who needs a side piece to be at your corner. Slavino is the name, right? If so, then all I see is a man who once rolled with a failed bWo show that went nowhere that you had some dealings with? If so, then great, if not then oh then I am hella wrong. I don’t really need to fear a man who needs to rep a dead set that happened to be once a big deal many years prior. I know you are a confident bastard, who thinks the world should kiss your ass for being overly privileged and rich. Manservant, and all those things don’t make you nothin in my own eyes. I know for a fact, that if you poor and in my position, you’d end up taking cocktail of pills to forget that you even are on this earth. I hate to bring death in this, but sometimes you got to know when it’s time to go.
I know for you HGH, you might have bright career here within this fed, and I will not hope you have a downfall but I know for a fact, that you will end up going to find out that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, when all it is shitty gardens. This match might be on nobodies radar of importance, but for me, this is a turning point for me to just beat people up and have fun at someone else’s expense. This is a new chapter in my career here, and you are just stop gap between the next chapters and beyond. As I write my words with your blood, it’s just a way to get the story told out there.
It’s still unwritten for me, it’s still has yet to be truly completed for the world to read what I have to say. I know this tape might not be shown anywhere, but I don’t care. This match I have against this wannabe meathead is going to be breeze for me to handle, and I can’t wait to smash him in the teeth and deflate his arms like if he’s spongebob with the fake muscles on the beach. He’s nothin to me, including his side piece Slavino who needs to watch his back this coming Savage.
All I will say to HGH is this, he might have the looks, he might have what all the dudes want, and what the ladies want in their bedrooms at night. He might have a shot on taking me out, and leaving his bloodstained memoirs to himself. He might use Tommy to have him cheat to keep the match in his favor, whatever the case that might be I’m all ready for nothing but warfare and breaking hearts of the masses who want to see this former jock get his head caved in.
This Reggie, and these are my thoughts…. I’m done.