Hot off the presses, this is a fresh news alert! We have breaking news on our bastard's bulletin!

Centy laid down and let the youngster pick up a much deserved championship reign. We were all getting second-hand embarrassment watching Elijah Martin blow title opportunity after title opportunity. Centurion is turning over new leaves every day, and I applaud him for that. It's noble of Centurion and Ruby to let shitty wrestlers beat them on the first show of the year! They're really setting the bar high for all the would-be jobbers out there, I don't even know what Jim Jimson can do to win back his #1 jobber status after that performance from CentRubion!