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+--- Thread: The Real American Has Arrived (/showthread.php?tid=42611)
The Real American Has Arrived - Barney Green - 01-04-2022
The camera flickers on and we see Barney Green standing in front of the American Flag waving behind him in this cold day in Boston. Barney, Dressed in a red plaid suit with red shoes, goes to speak.
Barney: I know you are probably asking yourself what Barney Green can do for you, Lord Raab? Let me tell you this much. BarnCoin is slated to exceed over one billion sales this year.
Barney pauses for a second as a graph appears on the screen and he continues speaking.
Barney: I am excited for this match because I am a real American and I am here to show you why America is the greatest country on earth. After I beat you, I will offer you a special deal to get in on BarnCoin even if it means accepting your german money.
The graph fades as we see a lawyer walking towards Barney Green. The camera quickly cuts out as we see Barney Green start running out of the area. The camera turns back on and we see Barney Green sitting on a bench.
Barney: I think we lost that bozo. Alright, Let me tell you all about this wonderful cryptocurrency. It will change your life if you just invest in it. I'm coming to Anarchy and I hope to make a bunch of sales.
Barney pauses and looks around then continues to speak.
Barney: I've given you all my body over the years in the ring. Just trust me on this investment. If I didn't strongly believe in BarnCoin, I wouldn't be here talking about it today. I've got plenty of money invested in this as well.
We hear "Real American" start playing badly in the background as the camera shows footage of Barney Green wrestling in the ring over the years. The scene fades back into him inside of a wrestling ring in the remains of People Power Academy. Barney goes to speak again.
Barney: I trained many winners over my short career as a pro wrestling trainer. I was the real deal back in 2012 as World Champion of XWF. Just trust me. Look at this wonderful gym I was able to buy back then.
Barney starts running the ropes and then does a diving roll. He lands on his feet. Barney goes to speak.
Barney: Lord Raab is gonna witness the power of BarnCoin. I've got the red, white, and blue going through my veins. I may be a standby wrestler but I still got the moves.
Barney reaches into his pocket and pulls out a flask. He takes a swig from it and goes to speak again.
Barney: I'm coming to Portland, Oregon because the fans want me. Remember, I'll go wherever I am needed to fill whatever slot that may open up. A table match means nothing to me. I've fallen through many tables in my lifetime.
The camera zooms in on Barney Green as he continues speaking.
Barney: I think I know a thing or two about breaking tables as well. I've gotten so hammered in the past that I have actually fallen through a table.
Suddenly we hear a sound in the background as the camera quickly cuts out and then we see a message appear on the screen.
"Visit BarnCoin.tk to buy a true made in america Cryptocurrency. Now accepting Discover and American Express"