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XWF Training Films: The Timestream and You! - Printable Version +- X-treme Wrestling Federation (https://xwf99.com) +-- Forum: RP Archive (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=113) +--- Forum: Archives (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=13) +---- Forum: Bad Medicine 2021 (https://xwf99.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=176) +---- Thread: XWF Training Films: The Timestream and You! (/showthread.php?tid=42255) |
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XWF Training Films: The Timestream and You! - Mark Flynn - 11-19-2021
***
Quote: “Who the fuck is Jordan Knoxville?” “I wrestled him once.” “Was he any good?” “He cut a promo in a graveyard.” “Wow, so that’s a no.” “SHHHHHHH!” Flynn and NK look down at Maria, with a finger to her lips and… where’d she get a bowl of popcorn? Quote:”YES, I CAN SEE YOU’RE A BIG FAN OF THE XWF, TIMMY!” “Sorry, hang on, what’s the implication of that last thought bubble? Why is that guy digging up bodies?” “SHHHHHHH!” Quote:Timmy kicks a toy in his room, disappointed at the thought of missing a moment of XWF action. “Oh fuck, RM was the name on the computer in th-” “GUYS! C’MON! THIS IS A MOVIE THEATER!” Flynn sighs, then leans into NK’s ear with a whisper. “I’ll tell you later.” Quote:“HAVE INNOVATED, AS ONLY AMERICAN CAPITALISTS CAN, TO GUARANTEE EACH XWF PROGRAM GOES OFF WITHOUT A HITCH AND IS PRODUCED ERROR-FREE.” Flynn whispers again... “That’s fuckin’ bullshit. Ciela and Kai botched against us a month ago. And NK, you botch his fuckin’ Jackhammer EVERY TIME.” “A Ridiculous Accusation, Mark Flynn! ...I perform my finishing maneuver exactly as I intend to.” Quote:“NOW, PERHAPS YOU’VE SEEN IN OPENING MATCHES, WHEN LESS-IMPORTANT WRESTLERS ARE COMPETING, THE OCCASIONAL MISTAKE.” “...Less important?” Quote:“HOWEVER. HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW INFREQUENT PERFORMANCE ERRORS OR ‘BOTCHES’ OCCUR IN XWF MAIN EVENTS? OR TITLE MATCHES? OR HIGH-STAKES MATCHES IN GENERAL?” “What?” Quote: “That’s gotta be Phone #1.” Quote:“RM INDUSTRIES, WHILE EXPLORING THE FROZEN FWX EVENT FOR OTHER POTENTIAL REVENUE STREAMS, MADE A FASCINATING DISCOVERY!” “What? Why would you do that?” Quote:“WHY WOULD WE DO THAT? LET’S EXPLORE A SCENARIO!” “Wait… Does that calendar say... Today’s date?” …Yes, It does. “What the fu-” Quote:Heather walks past a bunch of frozen people in the arena, to arrive safely at the exact executive suite that Flynn had broken into earlier today. She sits down at the computer and plugs in a microphone. “Okay, I think I understand.” Flynn looks at NK, amazed. “You do?!? CUZ THIS IS INSANE TO ME!” “No, I perfectly comprehend, Mark Flynn. My only question is how would one then take the repaired footage and send it back to our dimension in the future?” Quote:“NOW YOU MAY ASK, HOW WOULD ONE THEN TAKE THE REPAIRED FOOTAGE AND SEND IT BACK TO OUR DIMENSION IN THE FUTURE?” “Ah, wonderful. They’re addressing it now.” “....” Quote:“QUITE SIMPLE! RM INDUSTRIES, THOSE CLEVER EGGHEADS, HAVE PERFECTED A MATERIAL CAPABLE OF CONSISTING ACROSS EVERY DIMENSION IN SPACETIME!” Flynn’s eyes open wide. “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” His hands wrap around his temples. He’s freaking the fuck out. Quote:“WITH THE POWER OF THE BROADCAST DELAY, NO BOTCH IS UNFIXABLE!” “Ah! So, this is how Dolly Waters managed to appear on two shows in one night! The Broadcast Delay!” NK elbows Flynn, while getting a handful of popcorn in the bowl he also somehow has now. “How good a feeling it is to finally have this question answered! It’s like a huge weight has been lifted off my mind.” NK smiles, exhaling with gleeful relief. Flynn doesn’t react, because he’s too busy hyperventilating into his knees. Quote:“NOW, SOME MAY ASK, WHY WOULD WE USE THIS TECHNOLOGY FOR OPTIMAL WRESTLING PRODUCTION, INSTEAD OF APPLYING THIS TECHNOLOGY TO OTHER FIELDS?” Flynn stands up out of his chair. “YEAH, WHAT THE FUCK?” Maria looks up from her empty bowl of popcorn and goes to shush Flynn again. “YOU COULD USE THIS TECHNOLOGY TO FUCKING… PREDICT EARTHQUAKES OR… PREVENT FUTURE CRIME… OR.... END WORLD HUNGER… FUCKIN’... I DON’T KNOW! BUT YOU’RE USING TO MAKE WRESTLING ON TELEVISION BETTER?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?” Maria rolls her eyes and puts on a pair of headphones which are plugged into the wall. Quote:“SOME MAY INSIST THAT THIS TECHNOLOGY WOULD BE BETTER SUITED FOR PREDICTING EARTHQUAKES OR PREVENTING FUTURE CRIME LIKE IN THE MOVIE MINORITY REPORT.” “OR WORLD HUNGER.” “How would the Broadcast Delay stop World Hunger, Mark Flynn?” “FUCKIN’... I DON’T KNOW, MAN. BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD WHEN YOU HAVE TIME GOD POWERS.” “The Broadcast Delay.” “TO-MAY-TO TO-MAH-TO.” Quote:“HOWEVER, THE XWF HAS AGREED, IN PARTNERSHIP WITH RM INDUSTRIES… THAT THE BROADCAST DELAY IS AN XWF TRADE SECRET. AND OPENING THIS TECHNOLOGY OUT TO THE WORLD MAY LIMIT OUR FUTURE REVENUE STREAMS IF COMPETING WRESTLING COMPANIES ATTEMPTED TO IMPLEMENT A SIMILAR PRODUCTION CYCLE!” “...So, these motherfuckers are keeping this shit from the government and… the fuckin’ planet… so Wrestling Pepsi doesn’t steal out their formula for Wrestling Coke?” “How very Western.” “...NK, why are you handling this so well? This is a nightmare. I might actually be having a heart attack.” Flynn beats his chest to try and calm his heart. NK raises an eyebrow. “What’s the problem, Mark Flynn? This is all standard, disgusting, American capitalism to me.” “I’ll tell you the problem! Our entire reality is subject to the whims of fuckin’ company storylines! Free will is an illusion! We can do all we can to fight these guys and they can undo it with goddamned TIME BULLSHIT!” Quote:“HOWEVER! THE XWF HAS INSISTED ONE ASPECT OF PRODUCTION BE COMPLETELY UNAFFECTED BY BROADCAST DELAY!” Flynn’s ears perk. Quote:“OUR EVENTS!” “How very noble.” “What a crock of shit.” Quote:“IN ADDITION, OUR LEGAL TEAM DETERMINED THAT IF WE CHANGE LIVE MATCH RESULTS IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION, OUR ATTENDEES IN THE PRESENT DIMENSION MAY BE DUE LEGAL COMPENSATION AND HAVE RECOMMENDED WE AVOID SUCH CIRCUMSTANCE.” “There we go.” Quote:“THE BROADCAST DELAY IS A MIRACLE OF MODERN SCIENCE! BUT IT’S JUST ANOTHER WAY THE XWF WORKS EVERY DAY TO CREATE THE BEST POSSIBLE ENTERTAINMENT!” Maria claps for the end of the movie, with a very similar clapping technique to how she clapped for NK’s dance earlier. She tries to remove and unplug her headphones while clapping and sort of ends up tangled. She refuses to let that keep her from applauding. NK also claps. Flynn strokes his chin, rapidly blinking as a well of information just flew at him like a rocket full of cheetahs. “Okay. Fuck. Okay. So, at the very least, whatever happens at a show, it stays that way…” “Yes, that’s what the film just said, Mark Flynn.” Flynn thinks. Then sighs… “So, that means… Even if we could figure the time thingy…” “Broadcast Delay.” “There’s no way we could use it to bring Larry back.” NK squints. “Larry? Mark Fl…” Maria walks up the steps to rejoin Flynn and NK… And NK remembers their facade as the OTHER mixed-race XWF Tag Team. “I mean, KYODAI… Who are you talking about? This is the second time you’ve referred to Larry.” “Larry!” Flynn is angry, looking at NK like his confusion is a betrayal. “These fuckers not only killed Larry… But they locked his death into the fucking threads of time! FUCK, NK...” NK shushes Flynn, but once again presses his hand to Flynn’s forehead to check him for a fever. “...I’m beginning to become genuinely worried about your concussions… KYODAI.” NK winks at Maria. “Kyodai calls me NK sometimes, even though my name is RICKY GOLDHART.” “Why? What is NK short for?” ... NK clicks his lips. “...North… Kanada. Where I’m from. Because I’m Canadian XWF Superstar Ricky Goldhart…” “But Canada starts with…” “Naturally, yes, of course… Kyodai spells it with a K… Because… Of a humorous story. A delightful anecdote! No time to tell it.” Maria is confused. Then she suddenly laughs! “Oh! Like an inside joke! I have those!” … “Well, I would have those if I had someone to be inside of a joke with.” Maria corrects herself. “Okay. I love the IDEA of inside jokes. I’ve considered many times what inside jokes I WOULD have...” NK nods, pretending to agree with whatever Maria is blathering on about as Flynn continues muttering to himself. NK takes Flynn’s face in his hands and gives him a couple smacks to try to get him back to this moment. “Hey, c’mon.” He whispers, “Mark Flynn, what’s happening? Talk to me. Are you feeling well?” For a moment, Flynn seems to blink himself back to the present. He’s… sweating from the forehead, but he makes eye contact with NK again. He tries to smile reassuringly. “I’m fine, bud. You think one-half of the Tag Team Champions is gonna let some fuckin’ movie make him sick?” NK’s face doesn’t relax. And Flynn can see that. “...We’re the... Tag Team Champions, right?” “Not currently, Mark Flynn.” NK waves his hand in front of Flynn’s eyes. Flynn has no problem following it. “Okay. Um....” NK thinks, before he smiles with an idea. “Concussion test.” NK holds up three in his right hand and two in his left. “How many fingers am I holding up?” “Five.” “Good. Where are we?” “Louisville, Kentucky.” “Excellent! Who’s the Universal Champion?” Flynn squints in confusion. “...Uh.” He blinks rapidly. “What?” “Who’s the Universal Champion?” “...What the fuck is the Unversial Champion? Do you mean World Heavyweight Champion?” Flynn rolls his eyes. “Cuz that asshole Scorpio has the belt right now. Fuckin’ double cash-in bullshit at WarGames.” ... “...What year is it?” “Twenty… Uh… Twelve.” NK can see in Flynn’s eyes he’s trying his hardest to answer these questions. Flynn can see in NK’s fear that he’s getting them wrong. “...Twenty… Fourteen? I’m the… X-Treme Champion?” NK shakes his head. Flynn dry-swallows. He seems to try and measure his breath… But he’s starting to struggle… Like a head bobbing above water. Just before he dips below to the bottom of the ocean. Forever. “Um… NK?” “Yes.” “I think there’s something… really wrong. With this place. Or with me.” NK continues to pat at Flynn’s forehead. “You’re not feverish.” Suddenly, Maria stops talking to herself about whatever. “That’s not how you do that.” Maria leans past NK and places her full palm against Flynn’s right temple. For the record, her hand is still covered in popcorn butter. Flynn’s eye seems to go wonky at Maria’s application of pressure. His eyelids flicker… Maria purses his lips thoughtfully. Then pulls her hand away. Flynn collapses back into the theatre seating. “Yup. I’ve seen this before. Your friend has Time Displasia…” Maria says, licking butter and Flynn skin flecks off her fingers. NK’s eyes widen. “Time Displasia?!?!” “Your friend has been here in the past. Or the future. And the arena is trying to coalesce his identities. It’s a Classic Code 7220.” ”THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN THE MOVIE!” Maria scoffs. “Yeah, cuz that movie’s for onboarding. We have a completely different movie for emergency scenarios and safety training! Oh, and it’s starring Ted Danson from Cheers! He did it for Community Service! It’s so good! Let’s watch it!” Before Maria can run down to hit the wall panel again, Flynn moans in agony. NK grabs her by the shoulder. “So, you’re familiar with proper protocol in this circumstance?” Maria… hesitates. “...Um. Well. I’ve watched the safety training movie about six thousand times… But I’ve only ever done it to myself before… I’m worried it’ll be like putting a tie on someone else when you’ve only put what on yourself, y’know?” NK nods thoughtfully… “Hmm, yes, I can see how that would be awkward. Perhaps, there’s an alternative…” Suddenly, Flynn’s head… … Pulpates. And his right temple vibrates… Slowly expanding. NK looks at Maria. And Maria looks at NK. NK retrieves from his pocket his finger. Which he points into a gun. “On second thought... PUT THAT FUCKING TIME TIE ON MY PARTNER RIGHT NOW.” Maria gasps… And slowly raises her hands. To Be Continued… |