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HardKurr Fuck Shit - Printable Version

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HardKurr Fuck Shit - John_Black - 08-24-2021

We see Jim walking down the street to his local bar, he get's his favorite drink and get's himself slightly buzzed. After he finished his fifth drink, he stumbles around a bit and he bumps into one of the bar patrons, who felt offended and breaks a Pool Cube and threatens to beat him with it. JB suddenly appears behind the fella.

"Hol up patna, leave dis cowboy alone.. sucka"

"Who the fuck are you, boy?"

JB then punches the patron out, which in turn caused a bar fight out of nowhere, where JB takes the guy and tosses him into the bar itself. The on of his biker friends try to get involved, but JB pulls out a strap from his pocket and shoots it in the air.

"KING KONG ANIT GOT SHIT ON ME!"

Then the patrons all calmed the fuck down, as he looked at the slightly buzzed Jim, he then takes him outside the bar, as he tries to break off from him. JB then got annoyed and he pushed him on the side walk on the ground.

"Damn man, you can't check your six nor your liquor... fuck dis shit, you on your own, patna."

JB leaves him on the ground, about some time later he got back on his feet and JB then see's the title he drags on the ground as he drove around. Then he comes out the car, and he clocks him with a crowbar and stomps on him for good measure.

"No hard feelin G... but you got sumthin i'd want, patna!"

Then he goes for the cover, but instead of full body, he uses one of the homeless man's cardboard to cover him with as a local ref count this fall...

1..

2..



re:HardKurr Fuck Shit - JimCaedus - 08-25-2021



Leon Merchant (mare-shon) had led a hard life...


He'd been an unplanned pregnancy, the end result of an ONS, so his biological father had been absent post conception and his mother, well, she did the best she could with what the state could provide and the monies cajoled from the revolving door of men she attempted to hook for a commitment.


His schooling had been a tragic tale revolving around low grades and bullying; first throughout elementary for his awkward and bizarre behavior around female classmates and then by the time high school arrived, his mother the "trailer trash whore" was added to the subject matter. Needless to say, he narrowly graduated and did so the same sad loner he'd spent the last 12 years being.


Shortly thereafter, still living with his mother, he discovered professional wrestling and attempted to dabble in local indy promotions. It quickly became clear a career in the business was not in his future but he refused to give up, discovering he had a gift for impersonation and was a hit at all the neighborhood birthday parties, edging out the local clowns by making appearances as Stone Cold, Triple H and so on and earning a fair near minimum wage in the process.


In early 2018, word spread of the "Be Caedus For A Day" contest and Leon Merchant saw his opportunity to bring his talents to the big-time in the XWF.


It was not to be, however, and he came in a close second to the actual winner (a blessing in disguise, that guy ended up wrestling Engy I as "Jim Caedus" then getting murdered by Chris Chaos after the match) and returned home defeated.


Leon became an alcoholic after that, frequenting the bars downtown paying for drinks with what he stole from his mother's purse and earned via his impersonator gigs, Jim Caedus having been added to the repertoire. With the return of Jim to the XWF in 2021, he saw an increase in business but other than paying to have a replica Xtreme Title made, all his extra cash continued getting sucked up by the bottle he couldn't help but suck out of. And then...one fateful night, lugging around his replica title in full Caedus cosplay, Leon found himself the victim of XWF-staple, the "Unknown Thug" (though dead-ringer for Wu Tang's very well known Method Man, go figure) John Black.


Time skip through a bar fight and a parking lot assault; Leon- covered by some poor cowering homeless man's cardboard the super gangsta JB had commandeered and pinned him with -watches the neighborhood referee (a local Irishman named Patty 3-Count, he handles all the street fights that spill out of the bars) slap his hand down for the three-


KICK OUT!!


Leon KICKS OUT as all eyes turn to see the REAL Jim Caedus dismount his parked Harley Ewrecktion and walk over to the scene.


Jim pulls a rolled up wad of bills from his pocket and hands it to the homeless man JB had so cruelly robbed of his only source of cardboard shelter. Here ya go brother. Get some food and a room to stay for a few nights.


The transient's eyes well with tears of gratitude. He thanks Jim and shuffles off.


To JB. These people deserve kindness and a leg up John. Bein' homeless is no picnic, I should know, I've been there. To Leon as he helps him to his feet. You look awfully familiar... "Be Caedus For A Day" contest runner up, amirite? I'm sorry things in life ain't workin' out so well for you bro. Go home and sober up. Jim hands Leon some cash. Take a cab.


Leon drunkenly wobbles his way out of frame as Jim returns to Ewrecktion. Mounting and igniting the engine, Jim shakes his head in JB's direction and proclaims loudly over the rumble- Maybe next time cuz. Tell Tommy I said good luck with Lycana.


And with that, Jim roars away leaving John Black alone in the parking lot.