X-treme Wrestling Federation
The Biggest Of Thunder Mountains - Printable Version

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The Biggest Of Thunder Mountains - Centurion - 07-20-2021



(Centurion is now in a position that he never thought he would be in.

After several weeks of begging for a win, Centurion was finally able to get a massive victory, and win a championship title in the XWF for the first time since losing the Hart Title a year ago. He proved to the management, the fans, and to all those who wanted to bury his career that he was still a top notch competitor, and he was capable of beating anyone in the XWF, given the right day and circumstances.

Problem is, that victory came at the expense of Ruby and her Anarchy Title. Now, the Anarchy reign of the Banana Lime Blur is over, and it wasn’t ended by Miss Fury or the rest of BOB, but rather by the person closest to her. Thanks to Vinnie Lane abdicating his role of General Manager and allowing Miss Fury to take over the show, Centurion has a title he never wanted to fight for, and did so by beating a person he never wanted to fight.

We open up inside the Grand Californian Hotel in Disneyland, the site of this weeks Wednesday Warfare. There, we see Centurion sitting alone in a chair in front of a fireplace in the massive lobby of the luxury hotel. On the table in front of him is his laptop, which he types away at. Next to the laptop, out of the way but still in sight, is the XWF Anarchy Championship. Centurion looks rather serious as he types into his laptop before reaching for a glass of scotch that is sitting on an end table next to him. He takes a sip of his drink and sets it back down, but before he can get back into typing, a familiar voice calls out from behind him.)


Voice: What a rather glimmering piece of hardware you have there.

(Centurion looks behind him, and walking toward him with his own glass of scotch is the mysterious Mr. Blue. Centurion closes his laptop and angrily glares as Mr. Blue as he walks closer to where Centurion is seated.)

Blue: Pretty dangerous to keep something like that just lying around. I’m surprised you don’t have that in some industrial, steel case. Then again, I guess it’s not impressive if no one can see it.

Centurion: So you’re stalking me now?

Blue: Humph.

(Mr. Blue sits down in a chair next to Centurion and takes a sip of his scotch before setting the glass down on his own end table.)

Blue: Don’t flatter yourself. You’re scheduled to wrestle at Disneyland. This is the most expensive, most luxurious hotel in the resort. I know you hate being called “boring”, but if there is one thing you definitely are, it’s predictable.

Centurion: Sure, but I could have flown in the day of the event. I didn’t need to stay overnight. That was a choice I made.

Blue: True, but given your…

(Mr. Blue picks up his glass of scotch and nods over towards the Anarchy Title.)

Blue: …current relationship status, I figured it was a pretty good bet.

(Mr. Blue takes another sip of his scotch as an irate Centurion snaps back.)

Centurion: You know absolutely nothing about me, and you know even less about Ruby! There’s nothing wrong with the two of us, and anything you heard to the contrary is just BOB trying to start more shit. Besides, I don’t see that is any of your fucking business to begin with.

Blue: Take is easy, cowboy. I didn’t “hear” anything, but you’re wrong – dead wrong, in fact – about one thing. I do know you. I know a lot about you. I know you’re the kind of person that will internalize feelings of guilt and shame, and would rather run away and drown yourself in alcohol and gambling than openly talk about it. I know you’re the kind of person that would tell everyone that everything is fine, while also allowing it to eat you up inside. And I know you’re the kind of person that would fly to Disney three days before the actual wrestling event because you would rather be alone and wallow in your own self pity than look Ruby in the eye and know you hurt her.

(Centurion puts his laptop in his suitcase and grabs his scotch. He takes a giant gulp of it, leaving a small amount at the bottom of the glass.)

Centurion: Last time I checked, I didn’t come to you so you can be my fucking therapist. You have until this glass is empty before I get up and walk away, and if you decide to follow me, so help me God, I’ll shove your ass down an elevator shaft and worry about the consequences. Please, try me. I’d honestly love to do it.

Blue: That’s another thing I know about you – you would. In fact, I know that that glass will be smashed into my face within the next 30 seconds if I don’t tell you why I’m truly here, and it’s this.

(Mr. Blue unbuttons his jacket and pulls out a file folder that was tucked under his arm. He slaps it down onto the table before taking another sip of his scotch.)

Centurion: Let me guess – more contacts? More cryptic information regarding our “mission”? I didn’t sign up for this, you know. I want you to help me extract revenge on Sands, not psychologically torture me over the course of several months and string me along while you get some sort of sick pleasure out of speaking in code.

Blue: Maybe you should be quiet for a moment and just open the folder.

(Centurion glances back over at the table and opens the top flap of the folder, and inside, instead of information regarding their upcoming plans, it’s a picture of Giovanni DeSantis on his throne, surrounded by many of his guards and servants.)

Centurion: …GD?

Blue: Keep looking.

(Mr. Blue takes another sip of scotch as Centurion flips some more papers. There are more photos of the compound Giovanni is staying in, as well as pictures of the mysterious woman entering the compound. Scribbled alongside the photos are various notes, as well as notecards stapled to them. Centurion picks a few of them up and looks them over before glancing over at Mr. Blue.)

Centurion: What is all of this?

Blue: It’s DeSantis’ compound, and information on every single person that has walked in and out of there over the past three months. It’s biographical information on all of his slaves, his schedules, his incoming and outgoing phone calls…

Centurion: How did you get all of this?

Blue: At a certain point, you’re going to stop being surprised by the things I can and can not do. I have someone on the inside, obviously. Come to find out, when everyone around you is working as slave labor, they will very easily sell what they know about you, and you don’t even have to offer them much to do it.

Centurion: Yeah, but this…this isn’t some low-level grunt stuff. This is top brass stuff. This is someone extremely close – someone in his inner circle. And he’s a paranoid fuck, so it has to be someone he has known for years. Decades even.

Blue: Sometimes, you amaze me with how observant you are.

Centurion: But why? What does GD have to do with anything?

Blue: I know you like to see me as some sort of evil bastard, but surprisingly, I don’t care much for creepy slavers who think they rule some sort of magical kingdom. They give the rest of us who choose to live our lives in the shadows a bad name. Getting your casino back? That’s all business for me, but if I’m going to use you to make a profit and stuff our pockets to the brim with cash, the least we can do is take out scum who sit upon thrones created by hands that were not his.

(Mr. Blue’s little speech shocks Centurion. For someone as calculated and, to an extent, manipulative as he is, the idea of Mr. Blue doing anything out of the “goodness of his heart” seems completely out of character; and yet, Centurion believes what he is saying. Perhaps he is gullible and is being tricked, but there’s something about this man at this moment in time that seems to make sense.)

Centurion: Alright, so what do we do?

Blue: In order to take him down, we’re going to have to find out who his benefactor is. Throughout the course of my research, I learned many things about this man and those he has around him, but the identity of the benefactor remained a mystery. DeSantis himself may not know who he is. All we know is that he is someone inside the XWF.

Centurion: I could have told you that already.

Blue: If this benefactor has been able to stay hidden from my contacts, and they’re able to keep DeSantis on a leash, then it has to be someone with either a lot of money or a lot of power, or both. This isn’t someone who didn’t like the way you dressed so they decided to hire a hitman. This is someone who can take a person nicknamed the “God of Death” and get him to do their bidding. That should narrow it down.

Centurion: Yeah, you’d think, but it really doesn’t. There are a lot of really rich bastards in the XWF, and a lot of people who wield incredible power. Can we be sure they’re even a roster member? Maybe they’re staff, or an ex wrestler who hangs out, or someone in management.

Blue: All of these are possibilities.

Centurion: So I go back to my original question – what do we do?

Blue: Well, you could play this one of two ways. The first way is to play it slow. Watch DeSantis’ movements, see who he enters the arena with, get your match with him, and hope eventually the benefactor eventually emerges from the shadows in order to take credit for your demise. Or…

(Mr. Blue takes another sip of his scotch before leaning in and speaking in a low tone to Centurion.)

Blue: You go on the offensive. You take down DeSantis’ entire army and let the pieces fall one by one. Eventually, he will be forced to give you the information that you seek. He isn’t going to risk losing it all for the sake of one person he doesn’t even know. Take him down, and all will be revealed.

(Centurion glances over at Mr. Blue again before grabbing his Anarchy Title and tossing it on top of his suitcase. He stands from his chair and goes to walk away, but faces Mr. Blue before he does.)

Centurion: Buy me another drink, and start from the beginning.

------M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E------

(We reopen inside The Happiest Place On Earth, Disneyland – more specifically, right outside the exit of the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. As people spill out from the ride, some stop to purchase souvenirs, while others walk to the desk to see the picture that was taken of them on the ride. Into frame steps Centurion. If you couldn’t tell it was him by his grumpy demeanor, you definitely could by the fact that he is wearing a full suit and sunglasses in an amusement park. He walks toward the camera as he speaks.)

Centurion: This fucking company.

Not Disney…though, I could also go on a rant about the horrible corporation that is Disney and how it was not only founded by a bigot and a Nazi sympathizer, but the values he preached still exist within the company today as it continues to hoover up as many independent properties as possible and builds it’s corporate empire to the point where it is able to direct public policy in not only the United States, but the whole of Western society. No, I will save that for another day.

I am referring to the Xtreme Wrestling Federation in this case. This fucking company. They book a card at Disneyland. Weird, ok, but fair enough. The place is known for its wacky locations and themed events. They then book a triple threat match featuring an XWF Legend, one of the hottest up and coming stars in the business, and a superstar who has established a huge name and impressive resume at a very young age. Great, awesome, that will sell some tickets. And then what do they decide to do?

They put those three on a fucking amusement ride.

What is the point of that? What skills are being shown by fighting in the middle of a rollercoaster? When two of us ultimately get tossed off this ride, and hopefully none of us end up breaking our fucking necks, what will it prove? Is the winner truly going to be able to walk out to the ring and gloat about how they beat their opponents in a wrestling match? They will try, sure, but whichever one of us does it will end up looking really foolish.

Seriously, XWF, you had me, Vita, and Betsy booked for this show, and you couldn’t put us in a ring? Hell, you couldn’t even have us do some sort of modified street fight? Did everyone in management sit around a boardroom one day, tossing out ideas for special events that can happen when we go to Disney, and the dumbest one you could come up with was what was decided on for this match? I mean, shit, it’s an opening contest! You’re forcing people to buy tickets, sit down in an arena, and immediately after the show starts, they have to look up at a screen and watch a match they are unable to see live. Who runs this God damn place these days?

Oh, right. Hi Theo!

Whatever. You want to fight on a train, I’ll fight on a damn train. You want me to attempt to end the careers of two of the most promising wrestlers you have on the roster? I guess I’ll do that, too. It’s not like I’m not used to management using me to stop the momentum of younger stars.

This collection of talent is really interesting. I am facing two women that I have a history with – a rather combative history, even – but with whom I couldn’t hold anything but respect for. I know Vita may be a bit surprised to hear that, but I genuinely believe that. Hell, I’ve always believed that about her. The issue with Vita was never in how far her career could take her if you decided to dedicate herself to her craft. She has the potential to be a Universal Champion, and that is not an overstatement. She is that good.

Vita’s problem is that she can easily be manipulated. The people she chooses to have in her life often send her down the wrong path, and that is when she gets sidelined. The last time we fought, it was because she was set aside her goals and aspirations in favor of being Noah Jackson’s side piece. She got herself jacked on roids and acted all hard and tough, but all it did was set her back in her progression. This pattern is repeated over and over again when it comes to Vita – she gets a bunch of wins, people start to sweet talk her, she falls for it, and back down the ladder she goes.

I want to believe this time. I hope, perhaps to my own detriment, that this cycle has been broken, and we are seeing the resurgence of Vita Valenteen, this time on HER terms. I would love nothing more, but I need to see it to believe it.

I will see you again, Vita. I know that for a fact, and if I were a betting man (which, of course, I am), I’d bet that it was going to be sooner rather than later. We’re wrestling on Warfare, but your true home is Anarchy. And sure, you’ll bounce around shows a bit, as long as you remain in demand, but I know for a fact that you’re eventually going to come home, and you’re going to want another shot at the Anarchy Title, and when that day comes, I’ll be waiting.

But of course, we are but afterthoughts in this match. I know what people are saying. I read what they put on the internet. No one is going into this match talking about me or Vita. The conversation completely centers around the Impossible Traveler. “What’s Betsy going to do? How is Betsy going to respond? Can Betsy get a big win before War Games?” Look, I get it. I’ve been in the business long enough to know how this shit works. Of course everyone is going to be watching Betsy. Out of the three of us, she’s the one who has been closest to the Universal Title recently. She’s the one that actually has something to do at the next pay per view, while Vita and I are going to be taking that night off. She’s not just the favorite, but the OVERWHELMING favorite to win this match.

And I’m sure she’s coming in with all the confidence in the world. After all, last time we faced off against each other, she beat me, clean, in the match that is my specialty, and she did that just weeks into her career. It’s absolutely impressive, and that big win should have lead to bigger and better things for Betsy.

…they keyword there is “should”.

I’m going to be honest, folks – I have my concerns about Betsy. I worry that she may have already “peaked”. After all, she was on an absolute tear when she first started, but after getting the Shooting Star Championship, she hasn’t been able to replicate that success. She couldn’t capitalize against great competition, and when her back was up against the wall and she had to face Atara Themis, she folded. Betsy was set to be the future of this company, but that’s the thing about professional wrestling – you can be the next Universal Champion one week, and completely forgotten about the next. Just ask Charlie Nickles about that.

Of course, I know the future is still bright for Betsy, as long as she keeps her head above water and doesn’t try to overextend herself. She’s talented, and she doesn’t need to prove that to me or to anyone else. She, along with Vita, can go as far as they want to go.

However, there’s only one person walking into this “match” with gold around their waist, and that’s me. Sure, say whatever you want about Anarchy. I’m sure you’re all sitting around with your friends right now, writing some really witty one liners about the “C Show”. Go ahead, crack your jokes, but in the end, there is a harsh reality that you’re going to have to face, and that is for all the people who claimed my career was over, and that I was being passed by and should just walk away, I’m the one representing a brand in this company, not you two. You all can stop talking about me in past tense, because I have proven, week in and week out, that I am not going anywhere.

I’m not the one entering this match with any pressure. I’m not the one who has anything to prove. No matter what happens on Warfare, I’m still going to hop on a plane and land in Chicago with the Anarchy Title over my shoulder. Win or lose, that is set in stone. But Vita, if you don’t win? Then you’re going to have people questioning whether or not you’re here for the long haul, or if you’re just going to be some part timer who comes around when she’s bored. And Betsy, if you don’t win, you’re going to have people asking “what happened to Betsy?” while all of your War Games team mates question whether or not having you on their side is an asset or a liability.

So enjoy your stay at Disney, ladies. Soak in the sights, ride all the rides, see all the shows. Have yourself a wonderful time. Then, make sure you grab your Fast Pass, and meet me right here, at the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Buckle up, hold on for dear life, and get ready for the biggest ass kicking you’ve ever received on an amusement park ride – yes, even worse than that time you accidently headbutted the steel bar on the Jack Rabbit at Kennywood.

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
Make sure you watch Warfare on Wednesday
Betsy and Vita, headin' my way
Only for them to meet their…


FINAL FANTASY!!!



….yes, I know that doesn’t really rhyme. Fuck you, I thought it was clever.