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+--- Thread: The latest induction into the jobber hall of fame (/showthread.php?tid=40890)
The latest induction into the jobber hall of fame - Jim "the Jim" Jimson - 05-24-2021
Jim Jimson is shown in his hospital bed, in a suit & tie, the camera is shakey.
Jim Jimson: Greg, I swear to god, just do this one thing for me, you clearly are gay, because you are making it look like it is impossible to hold that camera straight!
?: I’m your nurse, not a professional cameraman.
Jim Jimson: Just do it well for me, think of the importance this has for the future jobbers, think of the boys & girls who are wondering what has happened to Jim, I know that you used to be a marine biologist turned into the “sexy male nurse that is just forced into giving a sponge bath, but oh no the patient has a chubby, what oh what is he supposed to do now?” cliche, but COME ONNNNNNN, stop thinking about all the dolphins I’ve killed & do the job well.
Greg the sexy male nurse that is just forced into giving a sponge bath, but oh no the patient has a chubby, what oh what is he supposed to do now?: You may have paid me $600 to hold the camera & shut up, but what the hell makes you think dolphins are communist? I studied them for years, YEARS and I know for a fact, they are NOT weird nuke communists trying to take over the world, Mr. Jimson. And why the hell do you keep on implying that I’m a gay, Im in a happy 7 year marriage with 3 kids that have only brought me joy.
Jim Jimson: Great, so now you’re a closeted sexy male nurse that is just forced into giving a sponge bath, but oh no the patient has a, massive, meaty, throbbing erection from hell, what oh what is he supposed to do now? He has a family and loves them oh so much, but what does he love more his wife or that massive fucking-
Greg the closeted sexy male nurse that is just forced into giving a sponge bath, but oh no the patient has a , massive, meaty, throbbing chubby, what oh what is he supposed to do now? He has a family and loves them oh so much, but what does he love more his wife or that massive fucking- : FUCKING GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!!
Jim Jimson: I’M TRYING TO, BUT YOU KEEP ON INTERRUPTING ME!! '
After all of the outcry, after so many letters asking for the induction of this particular competitor and oh boy, were there alot of letters. You have a new record of letters being sent to us about a specific competitor! Thats right a whole 8 letter were sent regarding the induction of this man, the embodiment of young boys & girls begging on their knees for Big Daddy Meat Jimson to give them the induction they want so badly in written form. Don't worry, I will answer your pleas
Greg: Woah, I don't think you should use "boys & girls" in the same line as "Big Daddy Meat Jimson"-
Jim Jimson: As the leader of the jobber community, I am offically inducting a new member into the jobber hall of fame. The next
Greg: ..........
Jim Jimson: ...........Drumroll please!
Greg: .........
Jim Jimson: ............ DRUM-ROLL PLEEEEEASE
Greg: Oh? You waiting for me to do something?
Jim Jimson: Oh for fuck sake, Greg, I'm never going to sleep with you if you keep acting so hard to get, the next inductee is Demos. It's Demos. You sucked all the fun out of it with the words coming out of your succulent lips, Greg.
Jim unenergetically pulls a lever next to his bedside, a single strand of confetti falls down from the roof alongside a banner saying "YOUR A JOBBER, DEMOS"
Jim Jimson: Is your smoking hot ass, happy now, Greg? You made a new induction be the 2nd most boring thing on earth, the first most boring thing is a 7 year marriage.
Greg: Do you HAVE to make everything gay, Jim!
Jim Jimson: Some may see this as a surprise, I of all people are bestowing this medal of dishonour onto Demos, my tag team partner, but the thing is, I was never really in a team with Demos. I was apart of a team with Charlie Nickles, NOT Demos. Me & Nickles gained number 1 contendership, me & Demos walked into a championship match, "DDS" was doomed to fail from the beginning. Demos & Charlie may have been in the same body, but they were not the same person, not by a longshot.
If it wasn't clear for the people watching that Charlie & Demos were not the same just look at their win records. Demos is on an 8 match losing streak, with performances like that it was a no-brainer to accept him into the jobber hall of fame, it's hard to imagine that Charlie was at some point undefeated, looking at what Demos is doing.
But maybe, we haven't given Demos a chance yet, it must just be because Demos hasn't had his big moment yet, we need to wait for the next Relentless, to see Demos go after Universal title and lose in a star making performance, just like ol' St. blood-magic wifey Nickles did. Eh, or more realistically, we could wheel out the Canadian championship & have him face a dead moose, that way we can get over the moose as a strong champion and give Demos a soul crushing performance only a true jobber could watch with a straight face.
Charlie was a wrestler with an actual future, he would have never ended up on a list like this, but look where we are, sometimes things just go for the worst huh
And thats all we got guys & the one gal forced into watching this by one of the 8 guys watching this, see you next time, I got a fateful spongebath which will unlock new emotions a sexy male nurse has never felt before ahead of me.
Greg then proceeded to throw the camera at Jim so hard that, it spilt Jims' skull in two.