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Lil Problems, Big Solutions - Printable Version

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Lil Problems, Big Solutions - Ned Kaye - 03-31-2021

Standing in his still destroyed lab, several days later, The Nefarious Scientist looks crazed as he finishes tightening something on a futuristic looking gun, his eyes wide at his triumph. He holds it up to the camera, his hair still covered with a bit of ash, his mad scientist look nearly complete.

“Now, this! This is what I was talking about! My ultimate weapon that shall defeat Lil W and destroy the lumberjacks that wish to stand between myself and victory! My new Shrink-O-Matic! Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Ned, why shrink a little person?” You idiots! It’s not for him! By shrinking the lumberjacks, I shall eleminate their ability to impede me and I shall obtain my ultimate victory! And it will all come back to me! It will all be mine! AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!”

Ned laughs maniacally before stopping abruptly, all emotion leaving him for a blank void face.


“Ethan left.”

“He said he needed a better mad scientist who would listen to his suggestions and that maybe we were just a bad fit.”


He looks down, placing the shrinking ray aside and walks out.

Later, at the evil bar.

Ned sits alongside famed evil emperor Dolottle.

“Have you ever lost a minion, Doug?”

“Not by anyone’s hands but my own. You’d be best served just finding someone else to do your bidding, Ned.”

Ned’s eyes widen as he exclaims.

“You’re right! I shant waste time moping on the past when a bright future sits ahead of me! I shall search for a sidekick!”

A voice rings out behind Ned's excited shout

"Can you keep it down? I'm trying to weaponise diabetes here!"

"Sorry."