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+--- Thread: Read This... Or don't. that's fine too (/showthread.php?tid=39092)
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Thaddeus Duke - 12-05-2020
So...
To kinda preface this post, I'm not looking for more congratulatory messages or anything of the sort. I've had plenty of that and I continue to appreciate all of it. I got some things I need to get off my chest, and I've started writing this post like 13 times since the results for High Stakes went up and any time I try to do this, I get all up in my emotions and can't find the words.
First of all... I need to thank Doc D'Ville. He and I have talked about working together for years and it was always supposed to be OG Duke and Doc, not the boy wonder. Yet here we are with a tag team that on paper... doesn't work. It shouldn't work. It's a young kid that's all smiles and lighthearted joking, the good guy, the hero. And the manifestation of evil in the human form of an old man. But somehow, someway it works and I told him that even if we lost the tag match I couldn't be more satisfied with the results of the work we put out. That shit was the ultimate fun to plan and write (also fucking exhausting). Working with Doc has absolutely been one of the highlights of my time in the XWF. No regrets whatsoever, even if we'd have lost.
If y'all aren't hooking up with someone else to explore your creativeness with others, then you're playing the game wrong. Some of the most fun I've personally had in this game was working closely with others. [Theo,
, J Mad, Griff/Az/Nate, Dolly, Corey, Doc, Caedus, Gravy, probably a slew of others]To the emotional part... Seriously for like the last year I've been a highly emotional person and I fear I may be turning into a pre-menopausal woman. I'll let you know for sure when I find out.
I've been part of the XWF off and on for 8 years. I've done a lot of fun things, cool things, had a lot of different characters, but the one constant has been Duke. The saga started 8 years ago with the old man and continues on today with Thad. No matter what I did or didn't accomplish with OG, no matter his place on the all time list or in the Hall... that character fucking sucks compared to Thaddeus. I put a lot of me into Thad, the real me. From his personality and juvenile sense of humor, to his sexuality, to wearing his heart on his sleeve. All of that mirrors his handler, current day at least. Despite the backstory, he's far more easily relatable to every day people than OG ever was. I've put a lot of time and effort into creating the universe in which both characters live, and Thad especially, means a lot to me. To me at least, he's perfectly imperfect. OG was cold and ruthless, very seldom showed emotion. With Thad, he tends to hold back on the ruthlessness and when he doesn't, regrets it soon after and searches his soul for what the hell that means to him.
Kinda like real people. None of us are perfect and we make mistakes that we come to regret and seek redemption, forgiveness, absolution.
Anyway, I love Thad. He's easily my greatest creation and again, that character means the fucking world to me. So, winning the Uni title against that particular field of awesome writers has legitimately been a humbling, emotional experience and I can tell you with absolute certainty, winning the Uni the hard way versus cashing in a briefcase... There is no comparison. I've done it both ways (go figure) and doing it the hard way means so much more. There was no euphoria. I mean, when I can separate myself from the character, yeah I'm totally stoked for Thad, but as the handler... I was only shocked, and sigh emotional.
I debuted Sebastian Duke at the 12/12/12 ppv in a fucking squash loss to Soldier. The first Savage after the ppv is on 12/12... I don't believe in gods or anything, neither does Thad, and I don't know if fate is actually a thing, but I have a really hard time seeing it as a coincidence where I get to march Thad's pretty boy ass onto Savage as World Champion 8 years to the day OG made his debut.
Maybe it's like one of Bob Ross' happy little accidents?
Anyway, thank y'all for letting me play with all of you.
In closing: Try not to take shit too seriously. I know its hard sometimes because a lot of us can get emotionally invested into what we're writing or the characters we create. We win some and lose some. Losses can sting like hell sometimes and sometimes a win can hit you right in the fucking heart and make all those painful losses mean something after all.
That sounded like one of Jerry Springer's 'Final Thoughts'
Take care of yourself... and each other.
TL;DR version: Just read it, you're probably taking a shit anyway.
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Peter Fn Gilmour - 12-06-2020
youve been a good man dude. i remember coming here i think back in 2010 or so not knowing what to fuckin do then I got put in the Dynasty with Trent Gein and I forgot who else was in that group and learned quickly how to mold my character but as of late my character is getting stale and I dont know where to take him. Im trying to do this demon love angle with peter and his demon assasin where they fall in love but on his bday his wife Maria Brink shows up and they have a lovely 3 way dance of death if u know what I mean. That might be the last you see or hear from maria as I will try to push her out of storylines unless needed like if a new tour comes out or album. But i want to focus on peter and valerie a bit more and try to delve into the dark realm of things kinda like how Rosemary is right now, not as evil as she was in Decay but she talks about the shadow realm and talks very evil. its hard to portray valerie in her sense but i try to throw a few lines rosemary might say in.
Ive been here for a long time as well and Ive made friends and enemies here but Im just trying to have fun. It sucks when I lose cuz i feel my work is good but could be better and im really trying my best. I hit a peak in 2013-14 with winning the SOTM and winning a ton of titles in that span. but lately I just dont have the drive that I had back then. I feel like im just putting up bullshit every show. With my work schedule easing up until xmas and new years, i can focus more on my rps. I mostly work on weekends now but when xmas and new years come ill prob be a busy guy but at least i get off on xmas eve and maybe xmas (boss told me im off xmas anyways but i asked for my bday off and could work xmas if needed though i just hope im off both days then go in after xmas and work through new years into 2021.
but duke u been a good friend thru the years and im glad we worked together in matches or storylines.. hope we can maybe do it again for old times sake
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - SavannahKnightley - 12-06-2020
When I opened this I was all ready for this to be a "sorry I have to quit" post so was glad to see I was wrong and it wasn't as you are a talent that couldn't be easily replaced and I can't wait to see what you do next now that you are a double champion.
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Ash Quinn - 12-06-2020
You actually have kept me from jumping off the ledge about this or that around here. I appreciate everything you tell me and have taken it all to heart and mind. Thad is a well deserving champ as you can tell you have built him up. Hopefully Ash can get her shit together and be half as great
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Brooke Hernandez - 12-06-2020
Thad,
From the time I came to XWF you were someone I admired the work of. You and Centurion gave me hope with Geri.
You most definitely deserve this. A few months ago, I decided to retire Geri. Seeing your work made me want to come back!
Thanks for being an inspiration!
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Theo Pryce - 12-06-2020
tl;dr
re:Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Corey Smith - 12-06-2020
![[Image: giphy_9.gif]](https://www.out.com/sites/default/files/2016/04/26/giphy_9.gif)
re:Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Unknown Soldier - 12-06-2020
I knew 8 years ago exactly that this would happen. Congrats duke. As someone who definitely remembers your first match here, you’ve come a long way and definitely deserve this moment. You’ve grown so much as a writer it’s insane. Big props from the guy who first saw you in action here in xwf.
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Thaddeus Duke - 12-06-2020
Gilly: guys i got Gilly all up in his feels! I deserve another accolade for that alone. For real tho Pete, a lot of people may not know this, but you are a hell of a lot of fun to work with.
Ash: keep your head down and your eyes up. Not everyone "gets it" out of the starting block. Keep trying and working hard, it'll start clicking soon.
Savannah: One thing about making him "real," is it's given me a ton of material and ideas. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.
Geri: ...wow thank you. As a writer, there is no better compliment than to have someone tell you that you inspired them to do what they love.
Theo: you read it on the shitter, don't lie.
Corey: get nekkid
Soldier: i should have brought this up and now i feel like crap. I was in Ash Quinn's position once. I didn't really know what to do because things just weren't clicking. It was Soldier that kept chirping in my ear. It was him that kept giving me advice on writing and how to do it better. It was a slow process but it did finally click... then OG became the first mother fucker to ever pin Soldier and I'm still proud of that fact.
Guaranteed, without Soldier in my ear, there's no way i stick it out.
TL;DR... Theo likes chicks with dicks and i promised I'd never tell anyone so I'll just keep that to myself.
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Atara Raven - 12-06-2020
Thad, I have a short list of people I absolutely have to read. You're on it. Here, discord, Twitter, you're always fun to interact with. A real asset to the community. Thanks.
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Dolly Waters - 12-06-2020
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Charlie Nickles - 12-07-2020
Hey Thad, heard you were fishing for more compliments and congratulations!
Congrats bro!
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Thaddeus Duke - 12-07-2020
I hate you Charlie
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Centurion - 12-07-2020
You're alright
re:Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 12-07-2020
They said it couldn't be done, but by god we just saw a man blow himself.
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Centurion - 12-07-2020
*First Half Of This Thread*
"Awesome, Thad! Congratulations! You deserve it!"
*Second Half Of This Thread*
"Go fuck yourself, Thad"
re:Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Thaddeus Duke - 12-07-2020
(12-07-2020, 06:42 AM)Centurion Said: *First Half Of This Thread*
"Awesome, Thad! Congratulations! You deserve it!"
*Second Half Of This Thread*
"Go fuck yourself, Thad"
I know right? God forbid a guy have some feelings and want to share them lol
Read This... Or don't. that's fine too - Centurion - 12-07-2020
Also, go fuck yourself, Thad.