The scene opens to Thunder Knuckles sitting in his executive chair which is behind the-


Quit looking around my office and pay attention. You know fucking what, XWF fans? People have become pretty fucking accustomed to Ol’ Thunder Knuckles going all out. Why? Because they know watching ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles is one of the most entertaining mother fucker things this side of fucking tittie clubs and bloody bar fights.

Did you not see the Relentless recorded promos? Fucking Donovan Blackwater,


Thunder Knuckles turns his head off to another camera.


JOIN BOB,


Thunder Knuckles then looks back to the only camera you knew about, up until that point, and the only one that’ll be used again.


said it best but nobody fucking listened. He basically said If I want to show that side of ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles.

I’ll tell ya right now, I don’t fucking want to. I just had a hard-fought battle with mother fucking Chris Page. Has my buddy, Jim Jimson, done that? No. Hell, Jim, What the fuck have you been doing? You’re not even coming out and doing what you do best. Losing to far lesser talent. Then you got this useless boner of a man.


Thunder Knuckles starts to point to the bottom of your screen, but stops himself, shaking his head no.


Chokey Nipples.


Thunder Knuckles smirks.


Anytime this mother fucker got an opportunity to do any-goddamn-thing, he’s fucking failed at it.


Jimmy’s told me a little more about you now, Chokey. I must say, I am impressed. Your match with Reggie Estrada… Wow. Oh, and how you picked up the victory in that other match, what was it. It’s right there, I know it. Where you picked up the win pinning…


Thunder Knuckles pauses.


Bye-gone Marshall? Think that's right. I’ve even heard on Warfare, yeah I know. Thought I was going to shit on Warfare, didn’t you? Fucking amateurs. Now that I’m in BOB and another man who’s standing up for entertainment and full-on carnage, Robbie Mother Fucking Burbon, is on that show… Ol’ Thunder Knuckles won't be shitting on the show anymore. If you’re disappointed, have no fear, because Smoking Bob Williams is still a fat piece of fucking shit. Who owes me xbux. Just like that fat fuck Chokey. Speaking of Robbie Mother Fucking Bourbon! Didn’t he stomp your ass into the fucking ground, like a fucking seed to be fucking harvested later? Chokey, I’d say JOIN BOB but you’d somehow fuck that up.


Thunder Knuckles getting back on topic.


With those fucking credentials getting a shot at Robert Main is pretty easy. Seeing as he’s a fucking coward. Anyone who can beat him, he avoids like the plague. For fuck sakes, Chokey, if you can’t see that your fucking blind, bro. Madison Dyson had to fucking die. Next week, I bet Main calls her out. Then calls her a “fucking-no-showing-ass-bitch” for it too. Kinda like you did with your last recorded promo against Lacklan. That’s just the type of guy Main is, you two should team-up. Team Hyperball.


Jimmy starts to correct ThunderKnuckles off-screen. Thunder Knuckles instantly gives a death glare toward Jimmy, and he doesn't say a word.


What happened when you fought Main? You failed. When I FINALLY get my shot at Main. I promise I won’t fail as fucking hard as you did. Then somehow you talked your way into Universal Title shot that you were destined to fucking win, right? This was YOUR moment… Your moment to fucking fails again. Shit, how sad is it going to look if somehow ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles and…


Thunder Knuckles looks off the screen and asks Jimmy.


What’s his name again?

Johnny Legend.


Thunder Knuckles shrugs and looks back into the camera.


That guy. I’m sure Jimmy will fill me in when I need to know.

I have been! You just don’t care, right now. So there is no point.

He’s not fucking wrong. I don't.


Thunder Knuckles knows he still has to do his job and shrugs, rolling his eyes.


I do know a little bit about Johnny though because of Miss Fury’s scouting reports. Even if this fucker wins he won’t remember it. I also know, it doesn't matter if ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles wins or loses this match. Let’s take a hard fucking look at it. ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles comes out razzle dazzling fans, carrying his tag partner, the number one contender of his title. Who wants to give this clown a fucking head of steam going into our match. Not ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles, not anyone with a fucking half-a-goddamn-brain. Let’s look at the other fucking end. Give my buddy Jim “the Jim” Jimson a win. God fucking knows I’ve done it before.


Clips of Cuntfest start to play before Thunder Knuckles yells out.


Todd, DO NOT even try to make this look good.


The clip abruptly ends before seeing anything of note. Jimmy from in the background can be heard off-camera quietly saying.


Just like Jim’s career.

Back to what I was saying. What was I saying? Fuck me, now I feel like my fucking ass partner, Johnny Legend.


Thunder Knuckles looks off-screen to Jimmy. Jimmy’s voice can be heard again a little bit more loudly.


Flipside, What happens if Char-

Chokey, that’s fucking right. Chokey finally gets the main event win. It'll be because of me. He’ll fucking somehow talks his way into fighting God and fuck I don’t know, fucking lose again. So, no. I don’t give a shit. Even though Lacklan made it look fucking fun as Hell beating the dog shit out you. I’m only here fulfilling my obligations to get my check.

By the way, Vinnie I already took the Television Title back. SEVEN THOUSAND xbux. I’ll keep the tab running.

So, you fucking work really hard on those recorded promo’s boys. ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles will remain right here. Not giving a shit about you or our match. Some lessons are best taught the hard way. Oh, and Jim.


Thunder Knuckles picks up a beer and hoists it up as if to cheers his opponents and his partner alike.


One last thing. I guess I will let the XWF fans around the world have a little bit of fun. Todd, go ahead and give them a taste.