X-treme Wrestling Federation
Hey Thunder Knuckles, Hold Meh Beer: The Sequel - Printable Version

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Hey Thunder Knuckles, Hold Meh Beer: The Sequel - Atara Raven - 07-11-2020

Full disclosure, I'm drunk af and when I say hold my beer, please Thunder Knuckles hold my beer because this bitch has been at the wrong end of Vinny's dick for too long now.

Let me start by saying Sarah, I love you. You're an in inspiration to the women of XWF because without you we would be still playing Roxy Cotton's 90's porno roles in this company.

Seriously, Roxy rode one of these fucker's face to win this bullshit title. I love sex as much as the next person but standards bitch and clearly Sarah has none because instead of truly rocking this shit hole companies world and really representing with, I don't know...a Universal Title reign because facts are facts, she could and would fuck the kings world over, she lays down for Right Said Fred and panders for the Anarchy crowd.

Fucking Anarchy, seriously Sar. It's not Warfare but still, that's the big huzzah for you. Slapping Ruby around. Pfft, she thinks shes a god damn super hero making a difference in a universe with time traveling assassins, clown gods, zombies, and whatever else the not Carbon Copy, Fun, edgy, creative ass hats decide to do.

Spoiler: Whatever they decide on, it will involve typical social taboos to put you on edge because they lack empathy, a moral compass, or anything resembling courage because they hide behind the old 'freedom of speech constitutional BS all bigots hold dear because American ideals are the world's ideals.

But I fucking Digress! Sarah your better than this. I'm better than this...but the point is Dove, I have to try half as hard to be just as good.Thats fact and none of the subjective bs you're going to spout back is going change that.

Now give me that belt before I smack those contacts out your albino face and red mist this floor with your blood.


re:Hey Thunder Knuckles, Hold Meh Beer: The Sequel - Lacklan - 07-12-2020


Sarah blinks several times as Atara mumbles in front of her, swaying on her feet, the stench of shitty beer wafting in her face. She looks left and right down the Federweight Hall, sees no one, and shrugs.

"Kick out?"

She shrugs her shoulders again.

"I mean, she didn't actually try to pin me? Ya know what? Whatever."

She stretches out her neck, cracks her knuckles, puts her hands on her hips JUST RIGHT so that they pop, and flashes her Billion $$$ Smile.

Hey, Atty! Know, I can totally see that you're a teeny bit tipsy on cheap booze, and therefore likely have spent the night wallowing in the pity that is your floundering career AND social life, so I won't take this personally. I mean, I've hit a bark patch a time or two, too, and have lashed out at others, so I kinda know what it's like. Well, not EXACTLY like this, of course, because MY dark patch was when I was a world champ, and not some random lowercard act who everyone excuses how often she loses because she's pretty, like you, but still, I can at least TRY to understand how the rabble feels, right?

N-E-Ways, if you are going to toss around that "ermahgerd Anarchy" nonsense at least do a little homework! I'm not saying do a deep dive into the annals of when this place had class and it was CREATIVE and FUN, but just a year ago! Anarchy was new and fresh and hip and needed a face! Needed a Queen! And that was me. And when I left....and caused a BUNCH of people to pass and moan in the process...it apparently became "Beat up Ruby Every Week!" And that just won't do! Beating up that dummy is MY job, and if ANYONE is gonna to knock some sense into her, it's gonna be me.

Along with the "ermahgerd Anarchy" take, you also want to bring up Vinnie, huh? Do you know how many times I've publicly stated that he's an idiot? That he's a shit boss? That I know he just uses me for ratings? Dude's a DICK and I hate working for him! Believe you me, I'm on the right side of his canonically-established 5 incher by being nowhere near it!

As for your boyfriend and his title? I want nothing to do with whiney, mopey, crying bitches. I had enough of THAT with the LAST Universal Champ! But I know that that's the kind of thing that gets you off, so I'll leave him to you. After all, your bag is all about forgetting to go to work, hastily getting in front of the XWF camera crew half dressed and with your hair still in a mess, blathering through half a promotional video, jobbing out to Green-level morons like the MadClan, contemplate ending it all, and then joining 27 new companies five seconds later. You guys would be a hell of a Main Event!

Oh! And! Another thing! Pigeons>Doves





Hey Thunder Knuckles, Hold Meh Beer: The Sequel - Atara Raven - 07-12-2020

Well that was a buzz kill...


re:Hey Thunder Knuckles, Hold Meh Beer: The Sequel - Lacklan - 07-12-2020



Sarah reaches forward and gives her friend a comforting hug.

It's okay, Atty. Coming to the realization that pigeons are better than doves is a sobering thing for everyone. We're still friends!"

She pushes her to arm's length.

"Now, don't forget to cut a promo on MadWoman!"



Hey Thunder Knuckles, Hold Meh Beer: The Sequel - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 07-12-2020

Greggo, standing next to Lacklan, can't help but giggle at Atty.

"Teehee, HaHa Atty. Mmmm, mmmm, MMMMM! Gurl you just got porked in a whole new way for once. Take your offensive comments and shove them at someone else. My client could walk you in her sleep."

Turning to his client, Sarah, and holds up a piece of folded paper... "We're gonna kill it at LoF, Sar! You're already as good as cashing in on Fuzz after he bests that old fart Centurion."

Greggo stands there, continuing to smile and stare for about five minutes, still holding the folded up piece of paper in the air for some reason. Then......... he disappears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


re:Hey Thunder Knuckles, Hold Meh Beer: The Sequel - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 07-13-2020

I was hoping this went on longer. Oh well.


Still Champion - Sarah Lacklan even though she apparently hates me god dang