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+---- Thread: Getting boys to do what I want is easy (/showthread.php?tid=3621)
Getting boys to do what I want is easy - Dean Moxley McGovern - 06-12-2013
(is another punk's gain)
Time: 11:25AM
Date: June 12 2013
Location: A counselor's office
Subject: “Bill” the cameraman
Our subject “Bill” has decided to wear a mask in order to avoid being hassled by people out in the public. Since most people never see the faces of the cameramen, he'd like to keep it that way and we're going to respect that.
Here he is in his mask:
And here's what he looks like without the mask:
Oopsie...sorry Bill.
Hi, I'm Bill and I'm a cameraman for the XWF. Been working here for ten years and I love it. Well...most of the time.
So here's the deal, ok, I'm scheduled to meet up with Dean Moxley McGovern in a few minutes so I can film him delivering what he calls a very special promo that will change the wrestling business as we know it. I arrive at the address and it's an old abandoned house with boarded up windows and a door that's been sealed up by wood and 2x4's. I get out of my car and stand there thinking to myself that I must have the wrong address but then I hear a voice from up above...
So I look up and it's Dean McGovern in a friggin' tree house. I never realized that the address was for the gigantic tree in front of the house. He's wearing some kind of tropical shirt and has really short shorts on. Music is coming out of the tree house and it sounds like the Piña Colada Boy song is playing now. Dean starts yelling down to me to bring my equipment up so we can get rolling. He says he wants me to be his Piña Colada Boy for the day...
He throws down a rope ladder to me and I just look at it. Seriously? He wanted me to climb up with my camera and everything? Obviously I told him I can't do that so he started heckling me and calling me names. Some kids inside the tree house also started yelling down rude comments to me. He finally told me that he'd pay me $100 cash if I climb up there and film him and I decided to give it a shot. I threw my camera and other equipment inside of a very large duffel bag, slung it over my shoulder, and started to climb up the rope ladder. As luck would have it the wind started to pick up right as I was climbing and I started swinging back and forth, almost losing my grip! Dean and his friend were all yelling down at me to encourage me to climb faster but it was just distracting me and making me nervous. All of their constant yelling and the wind blowing harder finally cracked me - I fell off the ladder. It was about a six foot drop with the weight of my duffel bag making it much worse.
I was in a lot of pain right after the fall and I didn't want to move yet. I laid there looking up at Dean and his friends peering down from the tree house and I tell them I think I might be seriously hurt. They start laughing at me! Dean tells me he's fallen off of that ladder plenty of times and fallen out of the tree house itself and he's perfectly fine. He assures me that I'll be ok and asks if this means his promo isn't going to get filmed. My camera got cracked in two different places and some of the other equipment got damaged from the fall and from a lot of my own weight landing on the bag. There was no way I was going to be able to film anything.
I guess that made him angry?
Because next thing I knew I felt warm droplets hitting me that quickly increased to several steady streams of hot piss! Dean and his friends were all pissing out of the tree house right onto me! I hurried to my feet and ran to safety with my bag and Dean thought it would be funny to scream “It looks like you're feeling ok!” Not only was I aching after the fall but my equipment suffered hundreds of dollars of damage AND I had to get pissed on. I'll tell you this much - I am never going anywhere near that scummy pedophile. Why the hell should I need to risk my life climbing some stupid makeshift ladder so I can be in a tree house with a bunch of brats? Why the heck is a grown man up in a tree house with some stupid kids anyway? Isn't he in his 30's or something? I'm afraid to even try and guess what was going to go on if I DID make it up there with my camera. Dean and his bratty friends probably would have tried to push me out of the tree house or something. I don't need that kind of crap; my job is to hold the camera and make sure a promo gets recorded properly. It's bad enough where some of these guys on the XWF roster end up taking us cameramen but this one takes the cake. This is the straw that broke the camels back.
_____ _____ _____
Time: 11:40AM
Date: June 12 2013
Location: XWF News Source
Subject: Following up on the McGovern story
Following the alleged tree house incident, XWF cameramen have been refusing to meet with Dean McGovern at this tree house location. As of ten minutes before this airing, the latest news is that Dean McGovern has officially gone on record as saying he'll PAY for a special cameraman to come and film him on location.
That's right baby the rumors are true - Nobody's got the courage of a lion or the heart of a tiger because they won't come record me doin' what I do best up in this tree house. You might be thinking that I'm running out of options but believe me I've got a stack of em...In fact let me go ahead and make this special offer.
CM PUNK
I will officially pay you one hundred dollars to hold the camera and be my cameraman for my tree house promo. I need you to get back to me as soon as possible and I'll give you the address. I'm actually thinking myspace or facebook would be the best bet, but you can also tweet me. If I need to, I MIGHT be able to be convinced to up the pay for around $110 but that would be stretching it just for you to be my Piña Colada Boy for one shoot. Anyway man just hit me up and let's get it all worked out ASAP! I'll be waiting!
Will CM Punk agree to be Dean's cameraman? Is the pay enough, or will Punk demand more?
_____ _____ _____
Time: 12:20PM
Date: June 12 2013
Location: XWF News Source #2
Subject: Following up on the CM Punk/European title story
Sometime within the last hour, the headline on the XWF's official website was updated to read:
EUROPEAN TITLE ON THE LINE AT 6/15 SHOVE IT
WAITING APPROVAL FROM PAUL HEYMAN.
At press time, there was no word from Punk.
It would appear Dean McGovern was unaware of this as he seemed very surprised when told the news.
- Do you mean to tell me it worked? I hounded that poor boy into the ground and broke him already? How exactly did the European title come to be on the line? I bet he called up Archie Lawson begging to put the title on the line because he was so upset about me exposing him like I did. That homo will probably take that line where I said “exposing him” and try to use it against me to make me look sick, but all he's doing is trying to distract from the real story - his inability to be a fighting champion. I won't believe the title is on the line until I see it with my own two eyes because I know Punk feels outmatched in this contest.
He feels outmatched by me, but more importantly...
He feels outmatched by Chris Legend.
That's right...CM Punk knows Legend has his number. The two of them are evenly matched except Chris is richer, better looking, and is a real fighting champion EVEN IF the title he's defending isn't a real XWF championship...just look at it. Here's a shot of when Chris first unveiled it to the world.
It's still obviously an expensive piece of jewelry judging by the sparkly looks of it, so I'll gladly accept Chris Legend's wish to put it on the line. It doesn't NEED to be officially sanctioned by Archie Lawson or the XWF; Chris and I both know his Legendary title belt is up for grabs just like the other small detail.
What small detail?
Let's not forget!
(06-11-2013, 09:59 AM)ChrisLegend Said: Everytime my Legendary title is up $20,000 is as well....
I accept
Straight from Chris Legend's mouth himself. So that means this Saturday Chris is willingly putting up MORE than CM Punk if you go by personal possessions and wealth. CM Punk, much like myself, is only putting up a championship belt that the XWF technically owns...while Chris Legend is putting up a gold and diamond belt he PAID to have made AND he is voluntarily putting another $20,000 on the line in this match!
That boy is confident!
And I can tell you why - 2 reasons.
#1 - He doesn't know me. I'm relatively new around here and he doesn't have much reason to fear me. Makes sense.
#2 - He DOES know Punk. Punk is very well known around here already and Chris knows he's the better wrestler. Makes sense.
As far as I'm concerned Chris Legend is coming into this match like the perfect fighting champion and the ideal man's man. He's gone out of HIS way to put HIS own gold and his own green on the line.
Punk on the other hand had to be hassled, hounded and almost bullied into it. I almost felt like I was chasing that poor boy into a corner and exposing myself to him or something with the way he was ducking and dodging the sentiment of defending his title. Not that I'd KNOW that feeling...but you know...just sayin'.
The way this has all unfolded couldn't make me happier. I'm fine with Chris thinking he's the better man between he and I, and we all already know Chris is better than Punk. This sets up the perfect situation for me because...well...you'll have to wait and see. I don't want to spoil all the fun too early.
Hey, Punk - Can I ask you to take our match even further another step? Chris is already putting up 20K and a belt HE paid for. All you're putting up is a title that you don't even want and doesn't belong to you anyway. I'll tell you what playboy, I'll match that $20,000 if you will also match it.
Chris already has 20K on this match; how about you, Punky? Are you in? I'll throw down another 20K myself if you are.
Just think of it... or look at this graphical display I'm presenting on screen since you're not the best at the whole “thinking” game...
THE $60,000 CHAMPIONSHIP CHALLENGE
Dean Moxley McGovern w/ $20,000 + the X-Treme title on the line!
VS.
Chris Legend w/ $20,000 + his custom made Legendary title on the line!
VS.
CM Punk w/ $20,000 + the European title on the line!
Winner leaves with all the gold and all the money!
- You in, Brewster? That vision can only happen if YOU make it happen, you sweet cheeky bottom Piña Colada boy.
_____ _____ _____
Since Dean's immediate response was recorded, word has come in that the European championship match is official. It would appear that both Archie Lawson and Paul Heyman have come to terms on the official championship of Monday Madness being defending on Saturday Shove It.
But that's not enough in Dean's opinion.
Will CM Punk accept Dean's proposition and turn this into a $60,000 challenge, or can't Punk afford that much money? Will CM Punk help raise the money by accepting Dean's offer to be his private cameraman for a special shoot? Dean has given CM Punk a lot to contemplate here today.
All eyes are on Punk.