X-treme Wrestling Federation
The Christmas Spirit - Printable Version

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The Christmas Spirit - Chris Chaos - 12-24-2019

God the holiday's sucked. People lost their minds around this time of year. Spending money they don't have on things people didn't need, and ready to get into full blown fights about it. Not to mention that Santa Claus dressed dude standing outside the store with that bell.

That fucking bell.

Always would try to guilt you into putting money into the tin. Would stare at you as you walked by, minding your own business, and even if you didn't make eye contact you could tell they were staring.

Chris had left a Zales store on Gulf to Bay Blvd in Clearwater, trying to get back to his truck as quickly as possible. As much as he loved the Tampa area and appreciated his fans, he hated "people", especially this time of the year. The back seats in the truck were loaded with bags, and this tiny little addition would be life-changing when presented at the right moment.

He got back to his truck, and swiped his hand over the door handle. The key was in his pocket so the door magically unlocked. Ahhh, technology. Getting into the truck and sliding his white Oakley sunglasses down over his eyes, he pushed the button to start the truck and put it into drive.

Something felt different about this Christmas. It felt more meaningful, more important, yet oddly less stressful. What he would have given to feel this way last year....

This holiday was so crucial to everyone, every year. People ran around like chicken's with their heads cut off in order to make all the final preparations.

Chris Chaos didn't feel the need to do that this year. He felt relaxed, like the world was resting on his shoulders but it felt lighter than air. Turning his radio on, he opened the window. It was sunny, the weather was in the 70's, a slight breeze from the south. His hair swayed in the wind from the moving vehicle as he watched the world go by him.

He thought he was going to die here. He thought he was going to see the same thing, everyday, until the end of time. He thought he was retired far too young but up until today he had been too ashamed to show his face around the XWF.

Now, he felt like he owned the place. (Vinnie and him did have very similar, very beautiful hair).

The letter, with the kiss seal, sat on his dashboard. His invitation back home. His sanity. But who kissed it? It was signed by Vinnie Lane, but even as ambiguous as he was, he had a sneaking suspicion that Vinnie Lane hadn't sealed donned this letter with his lips. It certainly wasn't Roxy, there wasn't any remenants of cold sores.

He decided to not think about it for the time being. He decided to let things come to him as they came. He knew was about to experience pain like he hadn't felt in quite some time and was about to push his body to the ultimate limit......

.....but for some reason he welcomed this pain.

His phone vibrated in the cup holder, breaking his daydream.

"Yes?"

"Babe.....stop at Wal-Mart quick on your way. Get some wrapping paper and bows, nameplate stickers. You know, the usual."

He grumbled an okay and put his blinker on.

Getting out of the truck, he heard it immediately....

That fucking bell.

A voice came through his head.

"Here is your winner..........and NEEEWWWW XWF HART CHAMPION..........CHRIS CHAOS."

He made his way towards the store, and just before he walked in through the sliding double doors he turned towards the man holding the pot. With a smile, he pulled some cash out of his pocket, putting it in for the first time in his life.

"Merry Christmas!" the bearded (Santa Beard) man said.

Chris nodded with a smile before walking into the store.




The workout room in his condo had one hell of a view. It overlooked the inter coastal, with palm trees and other tropical plants lining the pathway down to the water and a plethora of bird life adding color to the seemingly endless sea of green.

Chris checked his watch. He had been running on the treadmill now for almost an hour. Getting his conditioning back was something that was important to him. Being quick inside that ring was something he built his legacy on.

And oh what a legacy it was.

His match this week was going to feel just like the old days. He hadn't been this determined to kick someone's ass in quite some time. Centurion had it coming, too, the pretentious trouser stain. Chris was going to teach him a little respect in that ring.

He continued to push himself, and he thought about the events coming in the near future. The arena, the same one in Arizona, PWR (his first ever federation), home state. His thoughts drifted to Centurion's words.........

It's remarkable to me the amount of people from the Era who will tell old folks like me to "stop clinging to the past" and "quit talking about old accomplishments", while simultaneously talking about titles and wins they had four years ago.

He closed his eyes, an he could see the last time he stepped foot in an XWF ring before his retirement in his mind..........the flashback began. The good times, the bad. It was all crystal clear but the one image that came to his mind, burning into it like a hot flame cauterizing an old wound......

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The pain that racked his body. The constant urge to push forward, even when taking a single step was the sharpest pain he had ever felt. He was pretty sure his spleen was split. He was pretty sure that his kidney's had popped like balloon's at a child's birthday party and his intestine's had been rearranged.....every bone in his body shifted and chipped........

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But nothing could top the feeling of finally achieving what you set out to achieve. Nothing could stop the feeling of satisfaction running through the body when the final buzzer rang or that bell sounded, and everything you always dreamed of was staring you dead in the face. The most brutal and grueling time of your life......and the most jubilant.

Rock bottom has crowned far more champions than privilege ever had.

He had hit rock bottom, and now it was his turn to get back up again. Why not him, why not now?

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The past beat inside him like a second heart. He couldn't help it. It wasn't the Universal Title that drove him to push longer and harder on the machine, oh no. It was the thrill of the ride. It was the place that gave a burn out from South Florida that chance to shine. It was the place he called home.

He tried to remember the bad times. He tried to remember laying flat on his back, looking at those lights as Gabe Reno stood above him with his belt.

He tried to remember Robert Main, Jim Caedus, Apex, he tried to remember Michael Graves and Cadryn Tiberius. He tried to remember the bad times, he tried to remember the good. But the image that burned into his mind was still that chamber, the same chamber he stepped into the very next day. The same chamber that made him fall in love with this business all over again.

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. Living in the past is good because without the past we may never know the present is possible.

“Study the past if you would define the future.”
― Confucius


The timer went off on the machine.....it stopped with a whir. He stood, panting, looking out at the water and the peaceful, serine landscape surrounding him.

The past was everything he failed to be.

The future is now.

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Centurion, it is clear you and me are the only two worthy opponents in this match, so let me address you first.......

It makes me more of a man to admit I lost then to take the excuse route. You'd know this if you were a halfway reputable human being. I left the XWF because my time had come. There was nothing left for me to do. I made it to Top 50--and no, fucktard, I was somewhere in the 20's overall (I only slipped because I have been gone, you've stayed in the same slot for years)--and I held every title this company has to offer. They were changing around this place, ushering in a new era, and management and I didn't see eye-to-eye. They were sick of seeing Chris Chaos in the Main Event picture. They were sick of seeing Chris Chaos taking the spot of the young guys at the big shows and burying the talent they had coming in, usually in a violent way. They were sick of Chaos dominating. Once Shane left, they became the NXT of the wrestling world, put all of their poker chips behind their Universal Champion Robert Main, and offered me a severance package I couldn't refuse. I left because I wanted to be remembered? No. I left so that I COULD be. I left because they wanted me to be the mentor, fighting guys like Azrael, NAZI, John Holliday and Tommy Wish, night in and night out to get them over, while sheltering Main like an overprotective parent.

To me, you're just another notch on the belt. You probably see me as another notch on yours, and that is how the history books will see it and how I am sure the wrestling media will spin it. How can you sleep at night knowing that you're coming into this match as the champion AND the underdog? I bet not well.

I couldn't beat Jim Caedus, and quite frankly, nobody here can. I was winless in my career versus him, and he was the only one I could ever say that about. However, I made sure before I left that I kicked his beard off his face. I wanted that last signature win. Centurion, I went out there and I beat Jim Caedus to prove a point--the kid still had it. I was given a Universal Title shot and SCREWED out of the victory because a title win would have meant a new contract. It was my final match here and they had already out my stuff outside, my desk cleared out. I had Robert Main beat, dead to rights, and they took it from me.

But a loss is a loss.....at the end of the day, deck stacked or not, I didn't get the job done. I kept my word and I walked out of this company on the highest note I had left. I could have stayed and beat up on the Mezian's every night, never amounting to anything else and retired with question marks about what could have been........NO, I went out swinging, the only way I would have wanted.

You come in here with a resume as long as the SAT test and nothing to show for it other than hearsay. You may have been great where you were, but the past only matters if you care enough to indulge in it. Why do you think teams win Superbowl's then finish in last the next season? Things change, Centurion, nothing is constant, and THAT'S chaos. The only ONE true constant in this twisted, shitty mess is me. The best in the world at what I do.

Now, I am going to put you on blast for your mistake and you have to sit here and take it like the sorority slut on graduation night.

I have you eating out of the palm of my hand, Cent. I am the contradicting one? I had you running in circles like a three legged dog chasing its tail. How about this "list" that you don't care about? The list you said literally does not matter in your second promo.


The Most Overrated Hart Champion Ever Said:You cling to that "Top 50" list like it's gospel. Let me tell you - there are some names not on that list that would whoop your ass. It's a neat list. Something nice for the fans to look at and debate. But it means nothing in terms of actual accomplishments.

You literally spent three paragraphs trying to explain the list, why you are where you are on it....it sure seemed to matter that you WERE higher before, no? It sure seemed to matter to you that you needed to justify that you aren't totally washed up. Who cares what number you were on a list a decade ago? Apparently, you do.

"But it means nothing in terms of actual accomplishments."

I'm the cock of the walk? You're literally just a cock. You spend all this time trying to downplay a list that you have a pedestrian number on, but try to up-sell a list from when flip-phones were still the norm and try to make it seem like it mattered to anyone?

Cent, you just scream split-condom.


The Most Overrated Hart Champion Ever Said:Chris, I wasn’t actually suggesting Lux or Sarah Lacklan should be legends. I don’t think they’ve put in enough time. That was my point.

Ummmm.....Jen, hey, Jen, come here for a sec.......

"Yes babe?"

You watched the first promo of Centurion's, right?

"Yes?"

"So, tell me, am off base here?"

"With?"

"Roll the footage...."

This Is Literally From Your First Promo You Waterhead Said:Lux isn’t a legend? Why? Because she’s “too new”? Sarah Lacklan, who has one of the best win-loss records in the XWF, isn’t a legend? Is it because these folks didn’t fight in the Shane era?

"He was implying that Lacklan and Lux are, in fact, legends, right?"

"Sounds like it to me."

"Thanks. Now go back to what you were doing."

"Yoga?"

"Whatever it was."

*clears throat*

"You are such a fucking hypocrite. No wonder you never won a Universal Title. Face it Cent, you just weren't good enough. But don't you dare sit here and say that accomplishments don't matter when you have been throwing them in my face all week. Maybe they don't matter to YOU because you have put all of this work in for so many years and never sat on top of the mountain. This person sucks, that person sucks........why, because they have had something you haven't? Yes, Universal Titles, the reason we get into this game. You can't be top tier and have never once tasted the sweet honey.....you are a faux legend, Cent, although I am not sure based on your recent rambling if you even know what a legend is anymore.

And Robert Main coming back at the same time, throwing me off my game? Newsflash jack-off, Robert Main came back BECAUSE of me. Robert Main sat back in the shadow's of obscurity and waited for the right moment to show his scruffy face on XWF television again now that he is no longer the XWF's security blanket. He needed me. He has nothing left. No belt, no backup, no notoriety. He needed to come back because he feels like the one thing he has left to cling to like a desperation life raft is that fact that he beat me...............

Robert Main's existence is only valid here now because of me.

But I am sure you will take credit for that, too, won't ya? You're such a cock monger. You tried to play it cool, be Mr. Suave......little man, all you did was make this personal.


You see, this isn't about just beating you, oh no. This isn't about your title, your halfway decent win-loss record here, your vain sense of self-entitlement....oh no, this is about pride. This is about proving I've still got it. This is about stepping into the ring and doing what I do best, being the best in the world. You are so quick to jump to conclusions, claiming in stone what I am going to do and what I am going to say. You couldn't be further from the truth. You aren't a nobody, and that 20 pound piece of metal over your shoulder proves that. Sure, I lost to Main before I left after after weeks of hype and mind games, after forcing my way in to a match that maybe I didn't deserve, go ahead and rub it in. You aren't bringing me down, Centurion, oh no, you are awaking the sleeping giant.

You humor me. You really do. You must have been the funny guy at all the parties. I bet the ladies loved you! I can't say that with a straight expression. The only thing worse than stepping on a Lego with bare feet is looking at your fucking face....so, it must have been the confidence. I bet you told all the girls you could down the entire keg in one keg stand huh? I bet you told them all you could play Stairway to Heaven on the guitar without missing a key and could take an entire 8 ball to the face without flinching. I bet you told them any shit they wanted to hear to make yourself sound better, then dipped out of the party early without having to prove it and pointed fingers at them the next day when they called you, telling them it was their fault and they sucked.

No, little man, you suck.

You've always sucked. You are the brown stain on the tighty-whitey's of the industry. You talk and talk, and now you've got a little gold to add to the equation. You think it makes you immortal. I am going to break you down to the molecular level tomorrow night, and we will see who can hack it when the chips are down.

You were given YET ANOTHER favor by management when they made this a chamber match. It is hard to see through that chain-link. Now the audience doesn't get to see your shortcomings in clear, 1080p. They get to watch you get dissected inside that ring with only half the clarity.

You should probably send Vinnie Lane a card. At least buy him dinner.

For real, though, I've gotta know.......is your face always that messed up or is it only the weekends?

All joking aside.....I am back and I am ready for blood. I smell it in the water, I can taste it on my tongue. I am feeling like my old self again, my old dominant self. I am feeling like the Chris Chaos of old. I am feeling like this is the good old days. I am feeling like I am about to dish out a good old ass kicking.

At the end of this match, Cent, the only thing you're going to feel is old.

Because you are.

With nothing to show for it other than a loss to a "old hat" and title with an expiration date.....Christmas Night, 2019.


Robbie Bourbon.......

A poem, Robbie? A poem about me is the best your "creative" brain could come up with? Hey, it was festive, and holiday themed, sure, but it really failed to hit the mark.

Just like your career Robbie, it was a mish-mash puddle of potential with a strong mixture of mailing it in. I get the idea, but the execution needed work. You have been in big matches, held big titles, had the spotlight on you many times before but Robbie, lets face it, this is just not your night. The story here is Centurian vs. Chaos.....the rest of you are filler. Fluff. Names for the sake of naming. Except Barney Green, he isn't even worth naming.

You get my point.

You and I have done the tango several times, and your attack never changes. Whenever you are backed into a corner, and know you're beaten like a Senator's Wife, you always revert back to Jenny. "You couldn't even bag Jenny." Yeah, like i am going to air us having sex. CHILDREN WATCH THIS PROGRAM! What ever happened to being a role model, Robbie? Truth is you probably just needed something to jerk off too. Hell, I've seen your woman. She looks like she spent her entire childhood sitting in the corner and fed with a Sling Shot. You've always been jealous of Jenny....always been jealous I have made her squeal more Tekashi 69 and had her arms waving like air traffic control. You've never had that, Robbie, because you have to lift the flap to put it in and still can't find it. Robbie, I am not even going to lie and say you aren't a factor here. Just because I think your idiot doesn't mean I don't think you're dangerous. You just aren't as dangerous as I am. Not me, not now. You have made a career making fun of my shortcomings, you have really gotten your rocks off. Your promotional pieces against me have been some of your best and they have helped to propell you to the fame you have right now. I scratched, I clawed, and I fought through every ounce of it. Robbie one thing you CAN'T say about me is that I haven't earned whatever respect I do have. I have been plotted against, schemed against, and had the deck stacked against me from day one. I am not the champion they want but they are too blind to see that I am the champion they need.

I HAVE BEEN GIVEN NOTHING.

I got everything I have from being the absolute best every time I step into that ring and in a moment of admitted weakness, I lost that. I lost who I was. I lost the Chris Chaos that kicked ass and took names and began to become the Chris Chaos who got his ass kicked and still took names. I became everything I hated.

Now you step into the ring with a fresh and motivated Chris Chaos. You step into the chamber with a man who has literally nothing to lose. I have been to rock bottom, Robbie, and I am not afraid to go back. I cannot go lower than I have gone, and the only place for me to go now is up. I will step into the chamber a man you won't recognize. Same Chris Chaos name, new Chris Chaos attitude. I hope you are ready, Robbie, I hope you are prepared because if you take me lightly you will be, like many others before you..........

Equalized.

That is why this chamber match is my swan song. That is why this chamber match is my moment to show the world that Chris Chaos can in fact win the big one, and remind the world that the top guy on this roster for the last two years (sans 8 months) is here to stay and never EVER going away. Good luck, bitches.





The tree had an iridescent glow on the off-white painted walls within 1003. There was a faint hum of Alexa playing Christmas music in the background and tape ripping along serrated edges. Jenny sat Indian style under the tree, wrapping up gifts in snowman paper. Chris was bringing his suitcase out into the main room, and making sure he had everything for his trip.

"It has been so nice having you around" she said, her back still to him, the pink highlights in his ponytail lit up in the glow of the tree.

"Yes. But it hasn't been good for me. I need this. You have been traveling all over the country, the world even, winning and defending titles....I have been sitting here collecting dust."

She taped the last piece of paper, and slid the package under the tree.

"You have a lot of gifts this year......you didn't need to get me that much!"

He smirked, but she didn't see it.

Spinning around and getting up she smiled at him. "The family is coming over tomorrow. They are flying in from Vegas around the same time you fly out. I haven't seen them in years. They will never believe I live here........"

"Humble beginnings" he said, zipping up his back and rolling it by the door.

He walked over and grabbed her around the hips, pulling her into a hug.

"All I want for Christmas is the old Chris back, the Chris I met in XWF in 2016.....go to the UK and bring him back for me......and a shiny piece of metal wouldn't be too bad either."

He fumbled with the Zales box in his pocket. He decided he would save it for another time....perhaps after he took home what was rightfully his.

".......would match yours" he said, kissing her forehead. He was, of course, referencing her RLF True Championship. "Both even have a white strap."

"Two peas in a pod." She smiled and they kissed again.

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