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A Changed Man - Seth Feder - 12-24-2019
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Journal Entry Date: December 18, 2019
Seth, there will be days you will want to forget about what took place but you must never forget the life transformation that happened. Don't let the outside circumstances change the inward you. You are ready to make amends with your father and to correct any wrong you've done in the past. Do not forget what has taken place over the last two weeks of silent camp. You are ready. You are great. You are a better person. They need you, whether they realize it or not. Your dad needs you. You got this.
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A HANDFUL OF YEARS had passed by since Seth Feder entered the XWF to bring honor to his family name. First, Seth's known last name as presented is Feder which brought out questions concerning two other Feder's, Sid and "Pappa". Both Sid and Pappa Feder were known to have been loose cannons and enjoyed stirring up trouble. It was entertaining and just part of the Feder way. Pappa and Sid both vanished, and then Seth showed up.
Seth claimed he was the lost brother of Sid, and tried to mimic the Feder way by causing problems. Once he appeared and began talking, everyone was questioning the validity of the claim. Most often, you would hear someone say, "There's no way Seth is related to Sid. Seth can't talk trash, which is unique to the Feder clan. He just wants to fit in, whoever he is." Nobody bought into the fact that Seth's last name is truly Feder.
Seth tried his best to prove he was indeed a Feder and promised the world that his brother would be returning to join him. It never happened. The rumors continued about him being a con artist and just wanted the name for publicity. It appeared that nothing Seth could say or do would prove it, so he decided to go down a bad path.
People became aware of his gambling and drug addictions, which in turn answered some of the questions they were asking.
"It all makes sense. He needs money so he used a well-known name to try to make a quick buck."
As his life began to spiral out of control, he decided to reveal there was another layer to his story. Not only was he truly a Feder, but he was also Vinnie Lane's son. Nobody bought it. He just needed more money or help to get out of a situation, so why not attach yourself to the new owner of the XWF. Vinnie didn't believe nor accept this truth, but Seth pushed that he had evidence. And just like he promised Sid's return and resulted in nothing; Seth's proof of being Lane's son was never shown nor explained.
During an XWF show several months ago where Seth was trying to talk to Vinnie...
"I need to talk to my dad! Get the fuck out of my way!"
"Sir, we can't let back here. You have a ticket to the show, but it doesn't get you backstage. Please go back to your seat."
"Listen. You both should remember who I am. Just tell dad... Vinnie Lane... that his son is here."
"Sir, Mr. Lane is very busy tonight. Surely you have his number if he is your dad. You can probably call him or text him. That's the only way you're going to get to talk to him."
A scuffle broke between Seth and the two security guards which resulted in the law enforcement being called. Seth was arrested and thrown in jail for 30 days for causing a scene, attacking law enforcement, and resisting an arrest. Once he was released, nobody in the XWF heard from him again...
Almost a year later...
"Come in, Seth."
A gentleman is sitting behind a desk that's fairly neat and organized. He is wearing a blue and white flannel shirt. The demeanor on his face is that of a calm person, but happy to be doing what he's doing. He positions his eyeglasses to the tip of the nose as the door opens. A grin comes across his face once Seth enters the room. The two embrace with a strong hug.
They walk a few feet to an open area where there are two nice black leather chairs with a table between them. The man picks up his iPad Pro and Apple Pencil, and the two have a seat to begin talking.
"Seth, Seth, Seth. You came here a broken man."
![[Image: giphy.gif]](https://media.giphy.com/media/kesHbCAH6ODY3AzOHk/giphy.gif)
"Now look at ya. You're calm. You're at peace. You're a changed man."
"Thanks. I couldn't have done it without you. The reason I wanted to schedule a meeting with you outside our normal time is..."
"Because you want to fix other people's problems. I know, Seth. I was just like you. I'd look over at a woman thinking, 'how far can I get my dick to go down her throat?'... to now... 'I'd like to kiss the back of her hand and hold the door open for her.' I'd see guys that used to be like me try to hit on her to fix their bulges in their pants. I wanted to fix them by cutting off their dick and beating them over the head with it. We all want to fix the broken people once we've become enlightened, Seth. But we have to keep ourselves in focus or else we'll fall."
"You think I need to deal with my past, and fix my relationship with my dad, don't you?"
"I think you need to deal with your past and fix your relationship with your dad. Yes. Yes, I do."
"I've been here for so long, it's going to be difficult to be out there by myself. You think I can do it?"
"Who the fuck said you were going to do this alone? I'm going to help you every step of the way. As a matter of fact, I have an idea that's going to prepare you for the next step. First, I want you to contact the XWF and get a chance to face your dad. Get the shock over with and let him see you. Get your foot in the door of the company so you'll be around him more, but also so you'll already on the inside of the virus. Once that's taken care of, then I'm going to take you on a retreat that's going to further your enlightenment."
"Alright. I think I can do that."
A few days go by and Seth makes his presence known to the XWF and his father. The scheduled meeting took place and Seth returned to meet with his guru at an unknown location to continue his enlightenment.
"Two weeks. 14 Days. You're going to be absolutely silent. Everyone here is all about exploring the inner self and your surroundings. Nobody is allowed to communicate with one another. You can't talk. You can't sigh. You can't whimper if you stub your toe. Hell, if you need to sneeze or let out a fart, they better be where nobody can hear or I swear to God. Silence. Got it? I want you to be free. Free from having schedules or appointments. Free from needing to get shit done. Free from having to say one fucking word. Admire your surroundings and keep your thoughts to yourself."
Day 15 arrives.
"You made it. I'll be honest, I had my doubts but you showed up to conquer."
"Thank you."
"So you have your first fight in the XWF coming up. You feel ready?"
"Yes."
"Ready to ... lose?"
"What?"
"Look, Seth, someone has to be the one getting fucked. Wins. Losses. They don't mean shit. What was your brother's win/loss record? You don't know. Nobody really does. Sure, someone may have kept a count within the closed circle of the XWF. Are the battles he fought in the XWF the only ones he's come across since birth? Fuck no. Nobody knows the real win/loss record, which tells me they don't mean shit."
"Man, I think you've been smoking a bit too much."
"Do you know why people want to win? They want to brag. They want to carry this big ole belt and claim to be this supreme-above-all. Horseshit. You work hard, but fuck the win/loss hot air BS."
"So I just go in there and lose?"
"Well, you fight but don't cry if you're not considered the best out there. Who's all in the match?"
"The Engineer, Mastermind, Atara Themis, and Jessalyn Hart."
"I think you need to go prepare your mind and soul. Let the heart speak when it's time."