X-treme Wrestling Federation
Kris B. bacon - Printable Version

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Kris B. bacon - Jim "the Jim" Jimson - 10-29-2019

The camera turns on with Jim Jimson sitting in a chair with a crappy, swinging light-bulb being the only lighting
No funny business, no wacky dolphin shit this time. It's gonna be me talking to a camera, I don't even have camera-man steve here. It's just me talking to this 13xbux camera. At Wednesday night warfare, I will be facing Kris the Hammer Von Bonn, but it doesn't feel like it This a battle between Jim Jimson vs. the Misfits. Anthony, you pulled these people together. You put Melanie in front of me, Melanie got lucky that random was secretly a dolphin in disguise. But that doesn't matter now, right now its' time to prove that Kris and the Misfits are a complete group of buffoons and that I deserve to be Hart Champion.

I've lost 3 matches. One at relentless, one at Bahamas and one at Savage. If you look at those mathces you notice something. I've been CHEATED out of every single match. In my first match, I had to be eliminated by 2 people, and in my other 2 matches, I was never pinned. That's why I'm not in some tag team match, and why I'm in a no. 1 contentership match because management knows even though I've lost every match, I've climbed higher up the ladder then the people who have actually won their matches. Hi, Melanie how does it feel that I'm higher on the Halloween card then you. And now let's look at you Kris, you lost your match fair and square being pinned and eliminated. Kris, I gotta ask you, how does it feel that the only person you outlasted in the elimination match, was dredzin's fucking girlfriend. You got pinned. I haven't been pinned. THAT is what makes ME better than YOU. Your only in this match because management wants to give them an easy road to the match they really want to see. Me challenging for the Hart Championship.

Anthony, can I tell you something. I. Don't. Like. You. You. Annoying. Piece. Of. Shit.

In fact. I hate all of you "Misfits" you're a fucking sham
You claim to be different, but you are all a bunch of fucking cliche
Anthony, you're a rich arsehole, Oh Wow never heard of that before
Melanie, You're a crazy woman, Another crazy woman just showed up a few days ago
Kris, Your a tall, silent guy, that has anger issues, your type is so bloody common that if you go through the member's list, you find at least 5 other tall guys that have anger issues. Hell, there are two no-nonsense German people. People like you are the common cold of the XWF,

Now let's look at Jim Jimson. Have you seen a man, go bald at 12 years old, have you seen a man who has had a cocaine overdose and wrestle a match in tip-top shape the next day. Have you ever seen a man like me? Someone you would call a misfit in the world of wrestling Cause I've seen men like you, Kris. over, and over, and over, and over, and over again and next week I'm gonna beat you, and you're going to have to live with it. Your gonna be known as the guy who lost to Jim Jimson.


Jim stands up leaving his crotch as the only thing you see


Oh and while I'm still here might as well


Jim pulls his pants down and reaches into his arse


Hold up, It's really ramped up their ever since that ghost shoved it further up


after 5 minutes of reaching into his arse, he pulls out a very brown pinecone from his arse


You see this, this is, el pincone el tercer, and he was shoved into Big D's arse. He then ripped it out and shoved it into my mouth. Me being the genius I am, I shoved it back into my arse for safekeeping. Now we are here and just you wait Kris, hell Vita and Socio should be worried about el pincone. If you ever have a pinecone shoved down your throat just remember that it's covered in my shit.

Oh and before I go, I know that you going to say the generic stuff, "your a joke. Your nothing. This is going to be an easy win" Well I'm just going to remind you of a movie that came out a couple weeks ago. 'joker' In the movie it was about a man, made to be fool, made to be a joke until he decided to make an example out of people who try to make him a joke. Well let's just say that I'm going to give you exactly what you deserve


Jim turns the camera off