Not enough Necrophilia? - Printable Version

Not enough Necrophilia? - Printable Version

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Not enough Necrophilia? - Unknown Soldier - 09-21-2019

....666 moments later Peter Gilmour is walking around the grounds of the arena after Anarchy came off the air. He really has no reason to be at some meaningless show full of lesbians and losers like John Black; so therefore, he must have had some type of psychic bub connection that brought him here tonight. Sort of like a spidey-sense, but naturally a lot more evil and demonic as something you would expect from Peter. You know, more like a superpower given to him from SATAN! himself. But we digress, as he's seen strolling around outside the arena when two girls walk past him. He winks sadistically at them, as he's so well known to do to random hot chics walking up and down the street and charm them.

The seductive power of the sadistic wink of the Xtreme Icon that is known beyond all the lands and among all the women in the universe as the most sought after thing ever in history from deep down in the furnace of their loins. These two star-struck super fans are gazing at his tremendous six-pack of abs chiseled by the gods themselves. The sweat glistening off his massive muscles all over his body shines like a raindrop falling on top of a crystal diamond.

The two are immediately completely distracted and can do nothing but focus on his ruggedly handsome good looks and his perfectly shaped chin that's more accurately portrayed to the statue of mother fucking David. The King of Xtreme then swings his hips around and turns to face the two of them and reveal a LARGE bulge in his pants. It's twice the size of Vinnie Lane's bulge that was just a few moments previously seen protruding out his pants in the previous promo, and the sad part is Peter probably isn't even hard right now.

He's as flaccid as a wet noodle being held up by a fork! That SUPER DICK is in slumber mode and it' still makes Vinnie Lane's look minuscule in comparison when he is hard. The girls immediately reach for towels nearby on a moving janitor stand as they bear witness to the massive stick of man meat that was in Peter's pants. The two cover their crotches with the dry towels and faint instantaneously as their eyes caught the slightest glimpse of Peter's glorious gonads. Cracking their skulls on the solid sidewalk floors as they fell in a complete dead limp. Blood begins to puddle beneath their heads and begins oozing on the sidewalk and trickling into the sewer grates at the end of the sidewalk down the street.

Peter laughs maniacally and wickedly at the same exact time out of both sides of his mouth as if sneezing and hiccuping at the same time. He turns to make his way towards Vinnie Lane's trailer which he begins to see rocking back and forth violently. Both curious and concerned, he rushes to the side of the trailer and puts his ears up to the side of it in hopes of discovering the cause of the savage way the trailer rocks back and forth. A large muscular man approaches him and his muscles may be larger in size, but they are not as sexy and shaped to the perfect and pristine figure that is Peter Gilmour. This man may make up for in might the level of sexiness that Peter has on him compared to their visual outwardly appearance and attractiveness. So, basically he looks strong and massive as fuck folks!

He motions for Peter to make his way away from the trailer and give that security guard type motion with his hand for Peter to disperse. Upon further review, it is evident that this is Shane

's new bodyguard, otherwise known as 'MonoAtomic Iridium' with his bald head and bulging biceps bursting through his plain white t-shirt. His in quizzical look towards the intruder brings him to lumber his giant feet one in front of the other and make his way towards Peter. The giant steroid super freak (not Peter he's all natural) speaks and lets the 'man with the perfect penis' (that would be Peter)know he must leave as far as possible away from Vinnie's trailer.

MonoAtomic Iridium: "Nothing to see here, move along sir!"

Peter Gilmour: "Do you know who I am? Listen here tough guy...."

Unknown Soldier: "Holy hell Petey! Is that you?!"

The voice of the Universal Champion; Unknown Soldier, emancipates from inside the trailer with a tired and sluggish tone to his voice as it sounds like he could possibly be in trouble. The missing door on the trailer is how his voice was able to carry so easily and be heard outside. The look on Peter's face is obvious that he is immediately concerned and ready to come to the aid of his friend by the spark in his step. He starts making his way towards the door frame to enter the trailer but is suddenly stopped by the grip of the hand of MonoAtmoic Iridium. Who latches on to Peter's left bicep halting his motion towards Vinnie's personal trailer to assist his friend in potential danger.

Peter Gilmour: "SUUUUUUUUUUCK MY DIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!"

With the roar of a thousand gods Peter screams to the heavens like a fucking banshee, and then grips the back of Shane's bodyguards head and delivers a vicious GILLY CUTTER! Iridium's head bounces like a basketball off Peter's shoulder and vibrates like a jackhammer as his body limps lifelessly to the ground. It may be the second most sick and destructive GILLY CUTTER he has ever delivered, seconded only to the one he gave James Raven just a month ago when he helped Soldier cash in his briefcase on Robert Main. I mean, THAT Gilly Cutter delivered to James Raven was more vile and nasty then anything Peter's done to the numerous plethora of girls parading in and out of his bedroom.

Peter Gilmour: "I'm coming Soldier!"

Unknown Soldier: "Hurry Peter! I want us to CUM together!"

Peter rushes to the open doorway and stops abruptly before making his way inside, by the look on his face he is obviously abhorred by what is taking place in front of him. He vomits off the side of the trailer and as the camera comes into witness the scene it's obvious as to why. The demon dicked defiler has the attractive dead woman whom neck he just snapped; Brainna Blair, bent over Vinnies desk inside the trailer. Violating her in whatever hole he can find as her lifeless body flaps all over the desk like a dead fish as he gyrates back and forth, rocking the trailer. Only it's a dead person and not a fish.

From underneath the desk comes a voice making moaning and screaming sounds as if mimicking and mocking some voice that was supposed to belong to Brianna Blair. The only difference is the voice is coming from what is most obviously a male and wasn't making any real attempt to hide that fact and actually sounds nothing like the high pitched whiny female voice of Brianna Blair.

????: "Oh Yes! Please give it to me! Harder! For the Love of SATAN! that feels sooooo gooooood!"

Unknown Soldier: "Come on Peter, get in here and lets Eiffel tower this slut and get off at the same time!"

Peter Gilmour: "Are you fucking kidding me! That girl is dead, Soldier! That's fucking sick in so many ways! You can't just go on raping, murdering, and performing these necrophiliac acts of disturbing behavior of these celebrities and porn stars without someone finding out! Speaking of sick....."

Peter steps outside and vomits once again outside the trailer.

Unknown Soldier: "Oh, come on bub! You didn't have any problem bangin' this chic last week. I know I've seen her stroll out of your bedroom cabin on the pirate ship a time or two before."

Peter Gilmour: "Yes, but that was when she was ALIVE! I don't fuck dead girls like you, dude! What in the hell have I let you get me into now, Soldier this is despicable!"

Unknown Soldier: "Dude, she ain't dead, can't you hear her moans of sweet pleasure and her praise be to SATAN! This is the same sounds I hear the girls making in your room late at night, Pete! So I think I'm doing just as good as job as you at this whole sexy time thing with this slut!"

Peter Gilmour: "I don't know who the fuck is making those sick noises under there, but they're most likely more sick and deranged as you are to encourage such fucking filth! Just wait until Vinnie finds out what the fuck you're doing inside his expensive personal trailer!"

Unknown Soldier: "Fuck Vinnie! How boring would the XWF be right now without me Peter!? That little pussy ass bitch needs me here and we need a little controversy and shot of adrenaline in this fucking place! Nobody has a hard-on for Robert Main or Apex anymore Peter. It's all about ME!"

Soldier stops penetrating the dead porn star Brianna Blair, and pulls his deformed demon dick from out of one of her lower orifices, your guess is as good as mine as his boner is dripping in slime and secretion with all different kinds of colors on it. Peter turns his head away quickly to avoid seeing it at all.

Peter Gilmour: "If I ever have to see THAT thing again I'm going to vomit 666 times!"

The dead porn star flops onto the floor and ironically falls into a position that looks as if she's staring right up at Peter Gilmour. A mysterious and unidentified hand comes from under the desk and manipulates the mouth of the dead girl, forcing it to look as if it were speaking to Peter directly.

????: "It's all about ME!"

Peter Gilmour: "Get that fucking thing away from me you sick perverted freak! What in the hell is going on here, and who the fuck is under that table! That's it! You know what, I don't even care anyway and I'm done! I'm fucking done, do you hear me! I've had enough of this sick disgusting shit with you Soldier, I'm out of here!"

Peter exits the trailer and begins walking away as Soldier pulls up his pants and tucks his junk back inside of them, trying drastically to catch up to Peter before he can leave and shout with one last hope for him to return. Tripping over his pants a few times as he struggles and makes his way to the door chasing Peter.

Unknown Soldier: "At least help me move her! I need her lawyer skills to prove to Theo that I can say

and

again without getting censored."

Peter Gilmour: "You're having sex with dead girls, Soldier! I think the last of the censors' concerns are a couple of demeaning swear words."

Unknown Soldier: "She's just tired Petey! All those girls you bone all the time have problems walking afterward too! She's still alive and screaming the sweet sounds of joy whilst I pound the organs right out of her!"

???: "Wagle Baga!"

A deep male voice proclaims from inside the trailer.

Unknown Soldier: "You see! Don't you hear her Peter!"

A light bulb goes off in Peter's head as he perhaps recognizes the voice coming from under Vinnie's desk.

Peter Gilmour: "Wait a minute? Wait for just a goddamn... No... You know what? I don't even care. Suck my dick, I'm going home!"

Peter literally starts running away from the trailer as fast as he can.

Unknown Soldier: "No, Peter, w-a-a-a-a-ait!"

Soldier runs over towards the lifeless porn star inside the trailer who is nothing but a bundle of dead weight. He attempts to move her himself and chase after Peter with her in tow but is unsuccessful after numerous attempts to move her. Tugging on her arm relentlessly, but she is still unable to budge an inch. It looks certainly impossible for a small anemic and thin-looking person with the stature of the Unknown Soldier to move her at all. He says a prayer to SATAN! right quick and then reaches into his pantaloons and pulls out his.... deformed demon dick?

Unknown Soldier: "Whoops, wrong pocket!"

He reaches in again and pulls out his pirate sword! He waves it around violently in the air as a drunk sea captain would, and then slices the porn stars head clean off as it rolls away towards the other side of the trailer. With his fingertip, he digs in deep and chalks another mark on the swords handle base, bringing the total be-headings to a mere two after Johnny Depp met the same fate? But we're just getting started my super little SATAN! sadomasochists!

Unknown Soldier: "I already ruined the rest of her anyway!"

The sadistic slaughterer grabs the severed head now dripping blood in a trail of red behind him as he cradles it like a bowling ball carrying it carefully out of the trailer, yet still in hot pursuit of Peter off in the distance.

After exactly another 666 moments pass, from out under the desk slithers out of the shadows the one and only Shane

. Revealed to be the producer of all those sick and demented sounds from under the desk that was being made as Soldier was sodomizing a dead woman. Accompanying him and rising from underneath the desk behind Shane is his sick little freak buddy known as Greggo.

The two scramble a bit to become a custom to the shading of the light to their eyes after being stuck under that desk for quite some time, and also become acstom to their surroundings as well. After they manage to pull this off after a brief moment of lost clarity, they quickly grab the headless torso of Brianna Blair and sling it over their shoulders. They too give chase to Soldier and Peter as the fun and filth are just about to begin!

"Cowards die many times before their deaths, and the valiant never taste of death but once."

--William Shakespeare in 'Julius Ceasar'

Soldier sits on a hill with his two severed heads sitting on each side of him overlooking the Hard Rock Stadium in Miami where he is to do battle with Robert Main and defend his Universal Championship. Johnny Depp's head quite a bit more rotted and decaying as it was decapitated from its torso almost a month ago, as opposed to Brianna' Blair's which just happened as we all saw. His feet dangle off the edge of a cliff as the heads nestle close to his side wrapped around tightly by his arms which appear to be cradling them. He sighs and sets both severed heads on his shoulders before he begins to speak. Bringing their faces all together as if gathering in a mini huddle and having a circle of conversation.

"Not many know me as a man of many monologues, but I thought it might be necessary to paint a picture of irony and hypocrisy for the entire XWF universe to see. You see, I'm here to cut the lame protagonist 'righteous' monologue promo that Robert Main has failed to show you yet. Rather, he sits at home at night and quivers and cries just thinking about me in his man cave with all his man slaves in Apex.

This is supposed to be the part where Robert Main steps up and proclaims that he's going to rectify the mistake he made when he lost focus and concentration that allowed me to come in like a thief in the night and steal his championship away from him less than a week before he would have been the longest reigning on recent record.

This is the part, where the protagonist stares out over his battlefield like a proud general and oversees the carnage about to unfold in front of him and re-do the errors he made in the past and overcome the evil that has endured! I give to you, the XWF universe, this missing promo from the most recent camp of Robert Main and his army of Apex Prophecy.

You see XWF folks of the past, present, and future. I AM the true definition of fear, as they all cower and cringe beneath my feet. Past, present, and future. I have silenced these 'so-called' legends as they sit and wait to watch and pray that Robert Main will dethrone me just as quickly as I did him when I snatched it from him. Hoping they can get a good sense of relief as they lurk here on their last waning moments of time before departing never to be seen or heard from again. Hoping that the dreaded Unknown Soldier will not prevail and his reign of deplorable acts and impending doom continue.

While Robert Main has spent his time playing frat house with his buddies, I've been out here cutting promos on former legends and stirring the pot as a real Universal Champion should be. I'm the main attraction now and the XWF universe saw me shovel these old sacks of shit out the door and introduce a new era of XWF!

Their gay little reunion show was nothing but a distraction for me to commit the most dastardly deed in front of the largest crowd of XWF wrestlers from years passed. I waited with my briefcase for the exact time when all of them would be watching and I could mock and humiliate them in front of you all as the Universal Champion that I am today!

Robert Main himself has become too caught up in rumors and innuendo as proof by his latest promo to even consider discussing his feelings on any of these matters. More concerned about addressing menial things with his previous number one contender in his latest promo then the demon hovering menacingly over his shoulders.

He's put off cutting this 'cliche' promo for so long it's almost completely apparent that fear of me is the deriving factor in all of this! In fact, if he's more concerned with Ned Kaye and his briefcase cash in and not me and the one I dropped on his fucking forehead, then I think it's probably necessary that we tie him up to a flagpole and let Ned and Noah compete to see who can retrieve a real pussy on a mother fuckin' pole!

This is supposed to be the place where he steps up to the plate and says 'I'm going to battle my inner demons or some bullshit and come riding out of the woods like a fucking knight in shining armor to save the XWF of a lifetime of sin from SATAN!' Come on Robert, where the fuck are you! No matter what you come out here and say later today, it still won't be able to save you now for the irony and hypocrisy that I've put here on display for everyone to see. Everyone else has addressed and sees the elephant in the room except for him! Even if you come out here later today and acknowledge any of this it will be even more verifiable proof of your recent pussy behavior!

You see, I have two people here..."

Soldier nods to each shoulder where the severed heads still sit.

"....Herewith me that are talking about this match as much as Robert Main is.

Sadly for that XWF universe staring out in the stars somewhere; out up above, praying for Robert, they will not be getting that fairy tale ending they so desperately cling to and hope for. For just as Robert Main has failed to come out here and cut the 'cliche' promo in time we all expected him to, he will also fail and fall victim beneath my feet and proclaim Hail SATAN! just like they all eventually do!"

Soldier kisses both heads on the lips and then smashes their faces together to simulate the two of the severed heads kissing each other as the scene fades out to a shot of Soldier in a three-way make-out session as a dark storm cloud quickly rolls in over the Hard Rock Stadium and the black rain begins to fall.