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+---- Thread: BUY ME! (/showthread.php?tid=34749)
BUY ME! - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 09-12-2019
"Okay, so a while back I was told that the XWF marketing department had been put to task to create my very first T-SHIRT! So I was totally excited to see what kind of awesome design they would come up with for me! I imagined something cool, cute, and pink.... VERY VERY PINK!"
"What I ended up with was nothing less than a COLOSSAL DISAPPOINTMENT!"
"Well VV fans around the WORLD can REJOICE! Because --> I <-- have ONCE AGAIN done what I do every time that I'm served up a GIANT TURD and asked to make something DECENT of it..."
"HI BOBBI!"
"So as you may have guess. I've taken it upon myself to sit down and PERSONALLY design the very first piece of merchandise to be presented to the VV-NATION!"
"Now, before we get to the unveiling, we need to take a moment to remember that there are a FEW people in this world who are BONEHEADS and DON'T watch ALL of MY promotional videos! So for those IDIOTS, here is the original CRAP-ASS design that Vinnie had his "team" come up with..."
![[Image: WKTH4eZ.png]](https://i.imgur.com/WKTH4eZ.png)
"BARRRRRF!!!"
I"I mean COME ON! That has got to be the ABSOLUTE WORST T-shirt design in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD! What are we even looking at? Nothing about THAT shirt even feels REMOTELY like it represents ME!"
"FIRST OFF! That's the most GENERIC drawing I've EVER SEEN! Seriously! Look at it, it looks like Lane shoved a pencil up his ass and traced out of some "How to draw manga for beginners" books!" Next, THAT costume? That's NOT what I wear, not even close, unless you count basic understanding of colors as close. Those hearts in the background... Or are those supposed to be two V's? Either way, THEY SUCK, it ALL SUCKS!"
"But not anymore! Because I have managed to capture the true essence of myself, Vita Valenteen! To do that, I just thought to myself, what are the three characteristics that would BEST describe me? Well, I'm cute, yet ferocious, and I ALWAYS play fair!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the ONLY must buy T-Shirt in the XWF today..."
"The Vita Valenteen FAIR PLAY T-shirt!!!"
![[Image: LyycpQX.png]](https://i.imgur.com/LyycpQX.png)
"Order yours TODAY for only 2000 xbux!"
re:BUY ME! - Madison Dyson - 09-12-2019
If they're inlaid with Lux's tears I'll buy a whole fucking pallet!
BUY ME! - Peter Fn Gilmour - 09-12-2019
My super dick shirt sells more 😉😉
re:BUY ME! - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 09-12-2019
(09-12-2019, 06:07 PM)Madison Dyson Said: If they're inlaid with Lux's tears I'll buy a whole fucking pallet!
"The last I heard from him he was STILL crying over us. I can probably make this happen!"
(09-12-2019, 06:30 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: My super dick shirt sells more 😉😉
"Of course it does! You're probably the most UNDERRATED wrestler of our generation! Fan's LOVE an UNDERDOG, trust me!"
"Also mine literally JUST went on sale TODAY!"
"Also Also... Super dick... Ew..."
re:BUY ME! - John_Black - 09-12-2019
Nothing about Glimour is underrated, expect for his undeniable desire for his xtreme title reigns, and having people suck his dick. Also, he hadn't been an underdog since like 2013 before you even trained to wrestle Vita.
But anyways, keep on hustling those shirts of yours, i hear that you can make a fortune on Ebay for them. The fans are too sheep to care about the pricetag.
re:BUY ME! - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 09-12-2019
(09-12-2019, 06:54 PM)John_Black Said: Nothing about Glimour is underrated, expect for his undeniable desire for his xtreme title reigns, and having people suck his dick. Also, he hadn't been an underdog since like 2013 before you even trained to wrestle Vita.
But anyways, keep on hustling those shirts of yours, i hear that you can make a fortune on Ebay for them. The fans are too sheep to care about the pricetag.
"OOOR LANE COULD GO AHEAD AND ADD MY DESIGN TO THE XWF SHOP!"
"Sure, I'm hocking them myself out in the parking lot, but a shirt THIS GOOD for a wrestler THIS GREAT deserves a GLOBAL audience!"
"I'm sure it's just some hold up with the marketing team. They probably can't be bothered to make make a thumbnail for the shop or something! It's cool, I can do ALL OF THE WORK!!!"
![[Image: 8bmXAho.png]](https://i.imgur.com/8bmXAho.png)
BUY ME! - Peter Fn Gilmour - 09-12-2019
Im not overrated
re:BUY ME! - Centurion - 09-13-2019
(09-12-2019, 07:43 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: Im not overratedYou're right. Almost everyone knows you suck.
re:BUY ME! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 09-13-2019
(09-13-2019, 02:42 AM)Centurion Said:(09-12-2019, 07:43 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: Im not overratedYou're right. Almost everyone knows you suck.
I don't know it. I know he rules! Now SUCK THE MAN'S DICK!
re:BUY ME! - Madison Dyson - 09-13-2019
(09-12-2019, 06:30 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: My super dick shirt sells more 😉😉
Then make a shirt with your actual dick and balls on it or sod off. Don't talk 'bout it, be 'bout it Gilly!
re:BUY ME! - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 09-13-2019
"ALL DAY! That's how long I've been trying to get in touch with Lane to find out why my new shirt STILL isn't listed on the official XWF merchandise shop! This is ridiculous!!! We sell stupid vapes and cookbooks, but Lane can't be bothered to take my call and get what will surly be the hottest selling product in XWF history up for sale already!?!"
"Listen Lane, I dont care how many "important" meetings you have today, I'm the fastest rising star in the XWF and the greatest PURE TECHNICAL WRESTLER on the roster. I've already beaten your precious Anarchy champion, and I'm about to do it again, only this time for the title! Considering that I'm poised to become the new face of Anarchy, maybe you should start giving me the respect that I deserve and get this damn shirt up already!"
"Thanks!!!
re:BUY ME! - Peter Fn Gilmour - 09-13-2019
(09-13-2019, 03:24 AM)Madison Dyson Said:(09-12-2019, 06:30 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: My super dick shirt sells more 😉😉
Then make a shirt with your actual dick and balls on it or sod off. Don't talk 'bout it, be 'bout it Gilly!
Then come over and take a pic of it
re:BUY ME! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 09-14-2019
Yeah! Do what Peter said and go to his house, pull out his cock and nuts, and take some snaps of it. Use the dog ear filter so it looks happy!
re:BUY ME! - Madison Dyson - 09-14-2019
(09-14-2019, 08:57 AM)"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Said: Yeah! Do what Peter said and go to his house, pull out his cock and nuts, and take some snaps of it. Use the dog ear filter so it looks happy!
Nah, just magnify.
re:BUY ME! - "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane - 09-14-2019
Here you go, Vita!
http://xwf99.com/newpoints.php?action=shop&shop_action=view&iid=26
re:BUY ME! - drezdin5788 - 09-14-2019
(09-12-2019, 07:43 PM)Peter Fn Gilmour Said: Im not overrated
Im pretty sure the entire roster will say yes you are
re:BUY ME! - Vita Frickin Valenteen - 09-14-2019
"After recieving 1000's of angry emails from the VV-Nation, Vinnie managed to pull his head out of his ass and FINALLY get these shirts up for sale!"
"Now you can all rock the newest piece of merch from THE GREATEST PURE WRESTLER ON THE ROSTER!"
"Order yours HERE!!!