Apex gets raped at the fair! - Printable Version

Apex gets raped at the fair! - Printable Version

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Apex gets raped at the fair! - Unknown Soldier - 09-03-2019

The following takes place shortly after Savage Saturday Night and before XX.

Some Sluts (arn't they all): "OH.... OH.... OH.....PETER! OH...... YES PETERRRRRR! GIVE IT TO MEEEEE! GIVE ME THAT SUPER DICK! OH god.... YES PETERRRRR!"

Unknown Soldier: "Hey! Enough with the swearing-in there!"

Unknown Soldier smacks the side of the porthole with his wretched pirate cane constructed of an oar with Johnny Depp's putrid and decaying head fastened on the handle end of the oar by a very long piece of fishing reel line. Soldier's hands resting over his lifeless face as if it were some kind of sceptre in which the few remaining hairs attached to the edge of his rancid scalp were being stroked by the captain of the ship with his fingers gently pinching at each hairs end plucking them out individually. Flies can be seen swarming all around it and even further above in the clouds vultures conduct the same tantalizing circular dance around the ship. A conglomeration of dead fish keeps popping up from behind a black trail of ooze that permeates and expands behind the ship as it glides across the waves.

The porthole he smacks it against is at the hull of the pirate ship that Peter Gilmour and he commandeered. The demonic duo had done this by cutting off the head of Johnny Depp in a super SATNAN!c ritual that brought to their use the ghostly flying pirate ship from the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movies. Who the hell am I kidding, we certainly don't need an update on this little adventure; because, of course, you've all been watching Soldier and Peter raping and plundering all over the lands of the XWF like pirates. It's certainly way more fucking interesting than playing hopscotch at the circus or whatever the hell it was Apex was doing.

It makes my super dick super hard just thinking about how this next little adventure might go. Don't feel bad folks if your little wee willy winky starts to stand at attention outside your trousers as well. It happens to everyone when you're tuned into SATAN! vision and get a little excited. So, how can you blame Peter for becoming erect when he started pal-ing along with his old sidekick Unknown Soldier again. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that the majority of the XWF was fully aroused after Unknown Soldier cashed in to become the Universal Champion. Except for Robert Main that is :)

Alas, it is still fairly early in this story so it's definitely about the time that we start to digress. The Captain of Craziness bangs his pirate cane against the porthole again, demanding the erotic screams of numerous women from inside the cabin now wailing heresy in his ears to stop. Causing his ears to bleed a little from both the volume of the screams and perhaps the nature of the words and sounds that were being emancipated from inside that den of debauchery that was the pirate ship's cabin.

Some Sluts: "OH.... OH.... OH.....PETER! OH...... god PETERRRRRR! GIVE IT TO MEEEEE! JESUS CHRIST THAT FEEEEELS SOOOO GOOD! OH god.... YES PETERRRRR!"

Unknown Soldier: "Enough with these vile sea hags Peter! We must make haste on our journey to create my new super SATAN!c Universal Championship belt."

After banging on the door now with his cane and still receiving no response, but for the epic moaning of a multitude of female voices exhilarating tones of pure bliss. Soldier then comes up with a very sick and demented idea that he knows will gross Peter out and ruin his fun fun time. He sticks the severed head of Johnny Depp inside the cabin window and pushes it inside just ever so slightly. The cries of bliss turn to terror as the women all make immediate evacuation of the chamber.

The line of shame making their way out of the cabin consists of Kairi Sane, Io Shirai, Paige, and Asuka. All nude and scrambling around the boat desperately trying to find a means of escape. Sadly, they are on a boat and the only way they can escape would be to plummet into the black and oily waters that trail behind them. The four women take the slightest gander at Unknown Soldier who is standing there with his despicable pirate cane in one hand, a pirate sword that still has dried blood marks on it, and a menacingly looking eye patch strapped over his left eye.

They decide that the waters below are a better bet then make the fate of whatever this maniac had in store for them. They leap to their deaths and immediately when their bodies hit the water they begin to evaporate into nothing but a dead pile of mush in the matter of an instant. Melting as if being dipped into a volcano.

Peter Gilmour: "Why did you have to go and do that! My super dick was just about to fire a giant cannonball right over those four wenches faces!"

Unknown Soldier: "Peter, what's the deal man? Why have you been in there constantly pounding poon for the last few days? I think I've seen like 666 girls walk in and out of there just this morning!"

Peter Gilmour: "Well Soldier, I need to do it to prove a point!"

Unknown Soldier: "What ya mean Petes?"

Peter Gilmour: "Well, I think I may have gone and made another goof. Do you remember that time when I got drunk and we first faced off years ago and I said I dong worship the devil."

Unknown Soldier: "Yeah, how could I forget! It was the laughing stock for the next three years and still makes its way into jokes in the XWF to this day."

Peter Gilmour: "Well, I may have said something in my latest promo about being so excited that we were back together again and it made my super dick hard."

Unknown Soldier: "So, what's the big deal about that. Dicks get hard. Dicks get soft. Mine goes up and down exactly 666 times each day, kind of like it's constantly doing sit-ups."

Peter Gilmour: "Well I'm pretty sure people like Vinnie Lane, Centurion, and even my opponent BigD already mentioned it in his latest promo is going to use it to poke at me."

Unknown Soldier: "If Vinnie Lane wants to tell you that he's never popped a chubby when he's dancing around headbangin' in his pink spandex at some stupid and shitty White Riot! concert, then he's just being a damn hypocrite. I don't even have to mention BigD since he pretty much admits in his own name that the calls himself that he's obsessed with his penis, and as far as Centurion is concerned I don't think he's been able to get it up in years. So who the fuck cares what those faggets think anyway!!! Every single one of them has had a fucking boner around another male at some point in there lives, and probably from the looks of it, the Apex Prophecy is just rock hard constantly holding hands walking around the carnival together all day and night. Everyone gets a little excited at times Peter, don't let those scallywags get to you me first mate! If I told you that I got hard just thinking about you, would it make you feel better?"

Peter Gilmour: "NO!!!! Drop the subject!!!"

Unknown Soldier: "Well, you're not really proving a point by fucking chics that look like dudes like Asuka."

Peter Gilmour: "Fuck you! I just let her take pictures of Paige while I was plowing her and those other two tight little Asian pussies!"

Unknown Soldier: "Come on Peter, we all know about your little fetish that you like to fuck chicks that look like dudes, it's ok bro."

Peter Gilmour: "I only bang HOT!!!!!!111!!!! SEXY!!!!!!! WOMEN!!!!!!! You got that Soldier?"

Unknown Soldier: "I got it... I got it.... But what about that sexy woman Valerie of yours? What does she think about all this"

Peter Gilmour: "I can bang whatever women I want she doesn't care."

Unknown Soldier: "Oh, so it's kind of an open relationship thing where she has other boyfri..."

Peter gets a little worked up and red in the face.

Peter Gilmour: "If anyone else touches her I will kill them!"

Unknown Soldier: "Take it easy now, don't let the scurvy get all worked up in ya!"

Peter Gilmour: "Sorry, it's just that people like BigD, and Centurion, and Vinnie Lane with his sexy hot girlfriend Roxy Cotton start to get to you."

Unknown Soldier: "You know what, actually Peter. I was talking to Theo just the other day, and I have to agree with him. Taking a longer look at Roxy Cotton has made me realize that her chin is slightly misshapen. Her left ear lobe is three-quarters of an inch longer than her right one and if you look really closely...."

Soldier pulls from out of his pocket a dried, wet, and crinkled up photograph of Roxy Cotton's face blown up a million times in zoom mode on Microsoft paint.

Unknown Soldier: "You can see her forehead sticks out almost 2 millimeters from her chin..."

Peter Gilmour takes a long hard look at the picture of Roxy Cotton studying it carefully for a while until it is obvious he starts to feel sick. He leans over to his left side and begins puking violently. This triggers Unknown Soldier to do the exact same as the two puke in unison all over the picture of Roxy Cotton. Suddenly the boat comes to an abrupt stop? Who was driving it and how was it able to cast an anchor?

Unknown Soldier: "Here we are! The True Value store! Let's go get some supplies to design my new EPIC, BADASS, MANIACAL, DEMONIC, WICKED, SADISTIC Universal Championship title belt! The one that will be the symbol of fear for all forever!"

The two depart over the wall of the interior of the ship by leaping over it like a pair of ninjas. Pirate ninjas!

SPITTING SCAT!

"For too long have I sat back in my mixed up mind full of methamphetamine and ignored the treachery and embarrassment that the XWF had become. Had we really fallen to the level of allowing some shitty wrestler that should have just stayed in some shitty fed come in and take this place over? Not on my fucking watch my super special little SATAN!sts! Do you think I was going to allow this little three-ring circus to continue? The inevitable ending to this little three-part series. This great big epic match at Relentless where Robert Main and some shitty wrestler butt fuck one another enough until finally, Robert Main decides he wants to be the receiver instead of the giver?

Did you all really think, that I would let a muppet looking mother fucker Robert Main walk around here as an actual sheep posing in wolfs clothing any longer? Or that I was going to let forget from all my foes from the past, present, and future; the fact that I'm still the greatest and the time has come for me to remind you. MY TIME IS NOW and the fact of the matter is, neither of these two in this little conundrum has the capability of taking what I stole from the XWF back from ME! That's right! I stole it! The actual --TITLE-- of being known to the world as the Universal champion. Do you think I care to win things fairly in a Bob Backlund vs. Dean Malenko sort of fashion?

I worship SATAN! for fucks sake. The father of lies and deceit. So when I do things, I summon flying ghost pirate ships in the sky by performing a SATAN!c ritual and then smash them through your arena and then steal the Universal Championship. Fuck the Fair! and no, I don't mean the place where Apex goes to play goose tag with one another's gonads!

I'm not actually here today to talk or speak upon the likes of those two long and already forgotten losers. I mean, let's face it fuckers. After what I did on Savage Saturday Night I'm the whole talk of the town and whatever nonsense the two of you were doing before I arrived is pretty much null and void. The entire world will have already predicted the inevitable conclusion when I step in the ring and make mincemeat out of these two motherfuckers! Who, in reality, are not even fit to fart in the same room as me! So then, what could possibly be next?

Well..... I'm here to send a little message to all those XX folks before you make your foot out the door. I'm the one that used your little reunion event to distract the XWF world long enough so that I could sneak in and plunder your precious Universal Championship from under everyone's noses. You see, I knew I was going to be able to steal the show the instant I challenged each and every single one of you to come and get some anytime you wanted and still could since I'm currently still the Xtreme Champion. But you didn't and you won't...

You all flopped faster than a fat chic's surgical reduction titties while she's getting jackhammered by a black guy named Jamal. In the meantime, I sat and listened to you spew these 'respectful' tones towards one another and mustering up every bit of energy I could in my stomach to not just let the fucking puke flow down the front of my shirt in a steady string of non-stop filth. Now, which one of you can stop me from humiliating and desecrating this entire wrestling federation at my whim whenever I please!

I shit on your Universal title, and I shit on all of you, and I'll continue to shit all over this place since none of YOU can even get it up anymore. At least Peter can say that for himself despite this whole place going into a stampede of gay jokes. Take a look at these legends and the sad state of affairs it really comes to be for them. Steve Jason? Big Shank? James Raven? Owner or not, are you all going to allow my little shit-scapade to continue? Will finally one of you step up and try to vanquish the dastardly villain from destroying and decimating the championship you all loved and treasured so much? Are you all just going to leave and try and let Centurion try and clean up all this mess that I'm about to make of this place? Or are you going to leave that task up to Robert Main... HA!! Sorry, I almost laughed so hard I shit myself.

See you all in another ten years when this place will have become my own personal little dumpster dive. When I smear my feces all over your legendary and historic Universal Championship and turn this place into a pit of complete despair. It's about time this place started to hate a little, and who better to hate than me! I do want to thank you all one last time before you all go. Thank you for paving the way for people like me to make my own personal little PIGPEN PALACE out of your precious little place, and just like that kid on Charlie Brown I'm going to make it extra dirty!"

Soldier pulls down his pants and then wipes his ass with the Universal Championship belt that Peter and he created. A symbol of true fear for all forever! He then sticks it up to the camera and wipes a long smear down the front of the lens. He continues rattling and shaking the new Universal Title, that looks as if it were constructed in a third-grade art class, in front of the camera as if taunting all those watching.

Unknown Soldier: "Yeah, that's it Steve Jason, get a good long whiff of that! Smell what I think of your....."

Peter Gilmour: "Soldier, I don't think they can smell it through the TV."

Soldier kind of calms down a bit as he was shaking and thrusting violently in the air and not just from the meth this time. Now, with his patched together with cheap leather and worn metal $10 spent at True Value title belt, he speaks more calmly.

Unknown Soldier: "Sorry matey, I got a little shiver in me timbers if you know what I mean."