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+---- Thread: Ezra Adventures - The Interview (featuring Ivan Vaust) (/showthread.php?tid=33381)
Ezra Adventures - The Interview (featuring Ivan Vaust) - The Brothers Blackwater - 04-19-2019
Ezra Blackwater lay back on his bed, cell phone in hand and camera pointed directly down at himself. A slight smile adorning his face.
"Greetings Xwf, it is I - Ezra Blackwater!"
Suddenly, the phone is pulled to the side, momentarily revealing a man with green eyes and black, tousled hair.
"And I'm Ivan Vaust!"
The phone is quickly yanked back as Ezra tilted his head, placing his focus on Ivan. Who existed slightly off camera.
"I thought you weren't going to say anything when I recorded this video."
"What the fuck? Not say anything? What, was I supposed to lie here quietly and do nothing, while you did your thing?"
"Don't forget to think of England."
Instant laughter. That's swiftly interrupted by Ezra, exclaiming loudly, through a mixture of intermediate snickers.
"Ow! Did you just bite me!?!? Don't bite me! There's no biting in the bedroom!"
"That's not what you said last night."
This statement caused Ezra to close his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand, still chuckling.
"From what I recall, you said to do it harder and then you..."
Ezra's hand shot over and covered Ivan's mouth.
"Hush."
The eye roll to end all eye rolls from Ivan. Ezra removed his hand.
"Don't tell me you're in the closet."
"No. I'm open about my sexuality. People don't need to know the intricate goings on of what happens behind the closed door of my bedroom though."
"What about when you don't make it that far? Is it okay if I talk about those instances?"
"Oh my god. Seriously?"
"Is that a yes?"
Low growl in frustration.
"What am I going to do with you?"
"I have a few ideas but you'd have to shut off the camera."
"Stahp!"
"Fine. Do your thing and record your promo. Far be it for me to stop you, from sending a video out to the masses. I mean, it's not like there's a button that stops your phone from recording or anything. I'll simply wait till you're finished, on bated breath, like I'm a Stepford Wife. Like my name is Lux and I'm waiting for a suitable husband to arrive at my doorstep. While I clip coupons and count the minutes of the day."
"Oh and I'm the thirsty one, that can't wait. Uh-huh. Look who's talking. You're practically begging to become my cock holster. Speaking of events that transpired last night."
"Shhhh! You're revealing confidential information! You told the world that you're the pitcher in this relationship. Now they know Ezra... now, they all know. Oh crap. What if they have TiVo? They could Columbo the information together and figure out that we had sex. In your room. With a closed door involved."
Dissolved into laughter, Ivan launched himself up from the floor and took off. With Ezra following right after Ivan, there's a scuffle and then, the footage is abruptly ended.
Only to start, in a completely different setting. Standing on the balcony of his apartment, lit cigarette resting at the left corner of his mouth, Ezra sat on the railing with the phone's camera pointed at himself, once again.
"Sorry about that folks. Technical difficulties."
"Don't check the time stamps and see how long those technical difficulties lasted, cause you will see a substantial difference."
Sighing, Ezra glanced off camera and shook his head.
"What? It's not like you have to be Sherlock Holmes or a member of the Criminal Minds investigative team, to figure out what went down. There are very visible clues. For instance, it was day when you initially started recording and now, it's night. If anything, the folks at home, viewing this right now, should applaud your stamina. I know I sure do."
With a smirk, Ivan popped onto camera as he joined Ezra on the railing. Promptly stealing his cigarette, Ivan took a drag and slipped it back into Ezra's mouth.
"You need to get this video done, I get it. I'll even help. Just think of me as Steven Sayors."
"Ew. Gross. No ways."
"Okaaay... well then, think of me as the reporter, the XWF should have hired ages ago, so that hideous, twitchy, freak isn't stuck being the only interviewer that's employed with the company. Not that I'd ever take up the position for real. I'd leap from this balcony before I did that but for you, I'm making an exception and donning the role of reporter."
"Lucky me."
"Damn skippy, lucky you. Steve Sayors could be sitting here, sweating and nervously fidgeting. Instead, you get me. A vast improvement to that pathetic, trainwreck. Now lets get this road on the show, shall we?"
A puff of smoke.
"Don't you mean...."
"I said what I meant."
"Really? Cause I think it's supposed to be... get the show on the road."
"You're lucky you're pretty."
Pause. Ivan snatched the cell phone away and placed its sights, solely on Ezra.
"This Saturday, you're set to face, Reeve Gordon aka Rain. However, you won't be alone. Neither of you will be, actually. Raphael is destined to be in your corner, while Snow is scheduled to take her place on Rain's side. Tell me, what do you think of your opponent and do you anticipate that Snow, will involve herself in the fight?"
"I think Rain is ridiculous. If he was the result of some type of experiment, it would definitely be a botched one. One that got the scientist, not only shunned and laughed out of the entire scientific community but also revoked from the planet. The man would have to set up shop on an asteroid somewhere, just outside of Earth and hope... nay, pray that they kept sending him oxygen and food, and didn't forget about him. Figuring good riddance."
Over exaggerated shock. All of the gasps, all of them.
"It would be creation gone wrong. Like the freak of nature, genetically modified cattle and chickens, that are born with eighteen limbs, an enlarged torso and three heads. Merely created for the purpose of consumption in an over-populated society, fated to become a disgusting attempt at fast food, cooked in the back of a greasy, bacteria infested restaurant, after being born with all types of diseases infused within it body. It doesn't move, the thing merely lies there in a lump, secreting a puss like fluid. From where? No one can rightly tell. It is safer to assume that it's coming from everywhere. When the hideous monstrosity utters even a single sound, it sounds like someone wailing in agony, beckoning another in a desperate plea to... kill it. So when someone actually views the grotesque thing, they're forced to their knees as they scream 'Oh the humanity' while questioning the very existence of god."
"That is Rain, in the terms of science."
"In the terms of a human, being born."
"His parents definitely had to be mentally challenged and related to each other. Severely
, relatives that came from a long line of inbreeding. Centuries of it. Maybe even longer.""Don't forget hardcore drunks, addicted to crack."
"It's sad when the mentally inept get led astray and find themselves corrupted by addiction."
"Yeah, they wind up with children born with full on, fetal alcohol syndrome. On top of also being crack babies. Making them all fucked up and distorted looking. Much like Rain appears."
"Clearly the results speak for themselves. Any and all proof, can and will be bestowed upon anyone, that witness Rain. As well as his sister. Who will most assuredly, interfere in the fight. In spite of that being the worst decision that she could ever make."
"I don't know. There's a list of those. Would it really be... the worst decision? I think following in her parents footsteps and taking her brother as a lover, ranks higher than that."
"Right. There's also the random and frequent acts of bestiality. Performed with whatever stray animal that she can find in the streets. Usually ones that are stricken with the mange. You know, when she can't locate Rain cause he's having some 'alone time' with a vacuum or moldy piece of old carpeting, that he fished out of the gutter."
"Drinking turpentine."
"Eating paint chips. Primarily derived from lead."
"Douching with raw sewage."
"Sleeping in a landfill, having medical waste fights and collecting old, nasty, crusty condoms for later use. Cause it's better than using Reeve's holey, shit stained socks. They're shit stained because his ass leaks, he can't maintain proper control of his bowels, due to the massive objects that he shoves up there and it drips down to his socks. Someone shouldn't be able to fist an asshole and think aloud... gee, there's so much extra room up here, maybe I oughta try a foot. I got sent that video as a malicious prank. Puked for a week straight. It was like a shitty abyss. That man does not cleanse his asshole, even remotely in the capacity that one should. Especially considering that it's huge! No joke. There was an echo. When I seen it I thought I was staring into a cave. Then I realized the darkness was shit."
""Switching topics back to Snow as I silently, shudder in fear."
Wide eyed, Ezra nodded.
"That's for the best."
"Refusing to properly go through with the process of euthanasia."
"Ooooh... nice one, although Reeve is guilty of that too."
"Truth."
"Alright, with all that in mind, jumping in the ring with a desperate desire to meddle in the affairs of my match, isn't the worst thing... it's one of the worst things, that Snow could do. Her and Rain are vapid, attention seeking, sideshow attractions. People take exception to me because of my abilities and intelligence. They notice Rain and Snow, like someone pays mind to a person that was born with a gimpy, fetus attached to their neck and never got it removed, so it's forever hanging there."
"Fuckin' sick! Haha! Is it dead or alive?"
"No one quite knows. Every once and awhile you can hear a gurgling noise come from it though."
"Nice."
"They're like the human equivalence to a major accident, involving multiple cars. Jaws of life type stuff. People bursting through their windshields and cut in half. You're instantly repulsed and yet, you can't look away, nor can you unsee what you saw. It's burned into your retinas. A plague upon your mind and a blight that dooms society as a whole. Sort of in the fashion that the tape in The Ring was a curse, with the exception that you don't receive the sweet release of death. You're destined to suffer and endure because they never go away. They're always there. Looming like a monster in a scary movie, only really fucking annoying and needy. When you think they're dead and you're finally safe, they come back. It is the epitome of the never-ending nightmare, only much worse because you're awake and can't escape."
"Damn."
"Damn is right."
"So how do you think the events in your match will transpire?"
"The bell will sound. I'll catch Rain with some well executed maneuvers, that he'll fail to thwart. Then I'll electrocute him. Hit him with an intense surge of energy that blasts him clear out of the ring and leaves his body, literally smoking on the mat outside. I'll laugh and point. Enter Snow, she'll get the bright idea to try and attempt something, besides stumble around and look like an idiot. As I continue to laugh. Until the precise moment, when she gets right up close to me and then I'll transform into electricity. By that point, Raphael should be in the ring and he'll deck her. A nice battering ram style punch. While I tend to tossing Rain back into the ring. Electricity knocked him out, another good burst should uplift him, back to the interior of the squared circle. Assuming that it's a strong enough current. Which it will be. From there, I'll zap back into the ring, myself. Where it'll turn into a non-stop, beat down. Seeing Rain and Snow, getting utterly dismantled in the center of the ring. Fucking destroyed. Till they can't muster the energy to 'try' any further. Rain takes the pin and earns, yet another loss. Raphael and I make our exit and then, a guy comes along with a push broom, to sweep the ring clean of the useless debris that is... Snow and Rain."
"You made me feel like I was there."
"You're going to be there, aren't you?"
"Oh yeah, absolutely. I only meant that I could envision everything that you said."
"You better come."
"Yes sir. Except I'll have to shut this camera off first. I might have to hit a bowl too, in order to erase all that stuff about Rain's asshole from my mind. You kinda traumatized me there, Ezra."
"Imagine how I felt! Someone sent that to me. Anyway, I'm serious. I want you there."
"Damn, okay. I'll be there. You better be careful or I might have a talk with Vincent and see about reinstating my contract."
"You used to wrestle for the XWF?"
"Um.... noooo, that wasn't a thing that occurred. Oh look at that, we're out of film."
"But you're using a cell pho..."