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Shoot 3: Hotel Room Rant - Printable Version

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Shoot 3: Hotel Room Rant - Chris Chaos - 03-26-2019

Sitting on the edge of the bed in his hotel room, Chris adjusted the camera for another shoot promo. He had become rather fond of these.

......Mandii Rider.

What did I mean by that? Oh Robert, there is just so much you don't know. Your head is so far up your ass that you are blind to everything else around you. Mandii and I, though rivals, actually shared some conversations. You two teamed together, sure, but there was something there too. There was a spark, an electricity, the clap. You two were planning something massive until she had another episode and left the XWF because she couldn't get her way......

That sounds familiar doesn't it?

You two were disgustingly fit for each other. She's padded room crazy and you're the sort of person who listens to nickleback. Just terrible, both of you. She didn’t want to establish something with you because you’re boyfriend material, Robert, she wanted to because you’re the next best thing to suicide.

Trust me, I've asked her.

You have tried to hide behind everyone your entire career but have the audacity to call me out?


That is unless those said particulars are in your favor. In your eyes, everyone on this fucking ROSTER IS A NOBODY. You could go and locking horns against a girl scout trying to sell thin mints and after she kicked your teeth down your throat making you buy a case of cookies, you’d tell the world she was the next coming of Jesus Christ himself.

Robert.....

If you were anymore inbred you would be a sandwich. You think you know me, and that is your problem. You think you know everything. You are the one who thinks the you're the second coming, I just think you're nothing more than a underwhelming second cumming. You see.....this roster IS shit. It has been shit for your entire reign. Sure, "you" take credit for all of these so called "legends" coming back into the fold and slap an APEX sticker on them, but they are only here because they realize that there is a chance they might be facing me for that title. You tried to take the biggest names we have--which is like listing the most expensive items on the discount rack at Family Dollar--and try to brand them under your umbrella so you can do what you've always done.....hide behind false friendships so you can come out of the shit-storm smelling like roses. Robert Main is taking credit for the resurgence of a roster that declined chemo treatments and was ready to die before I came back.

Because you know you cannot do it on your own. Where’s EMPIRE? Where’s Peter Gilmour, Erik Black, Jenny Myst and N.A.I.Z.? Anytime you touch anything it turns to shit. The fractures immediately forum because you cannot be trusted. You talk about how you have screwed you over. Yet, Chris, there is not one person on this roster your web of lies hasn’t ensnared. EMPIRE fell apart because of you

You cumgargling fuckwad of a human being. Are you really this dense? You make Jehovah’s Witnesses look good. I was successful long before EMPIRE. Empire was formed because I was BORED. The roster was dying then, not quite dead, but on its way.

I was successful ON MY OWN. I was successful BEFORE Jenny was an active roster member. I was successful well before I used Peter Gilmour like an errand donkey to pull the Tag Titles.

BEFORE Erik Black even considered leaving MMA for wrestling.

BEFORE NAZI returned.

BEFORE I became the star of a group you were a founding member of, AX3.

BEFORE APEX was a thing.

Robert, I was successful on my own for a long damn time. You try to make it seem like I buried my head in the sand and let other people fight my battles for me. Truth is, I was public enemy number one on this roster, on my OWN, way before you even knew what the color gold looked like.

The difference is that, if you want to talk 'specifics'.

You're successful BECAUSE of AX3

BECAUSE of APEX.

BECAUSE of JIM CAEDUS

BECAUSE of DREW ARCHYLE

BECAUSE of Chris Chaos.

I have been famous, successful, and Top 50 All-Time before you ever considered taking on a singles match. Robert, your entire career has been based around relying on other people to make you look better and you throw EMPIRE in my face? Who doesn't pay attention now? JENNY FORMED EMPIRE! It was her creation, her idea, I was just along for the ride. Who needs to clean their ears out now? Everything you say makes you look more and more like a joke. I can't believe it. You look like somebody melted Play-Do over a flagpole, and apparently between the ears is the same rotting puddy.

You make a good effort, and I see your mother has been so kind as to spell check it before letting you post it (for real, check that shit out for god sakes, she may be as dumb as you are), a rare occurrence in this festering hellhole. Now you claim not to be a waste of space but surely you know that masturbating 7-8 times a day and arguing whether or not sub or dub is better doesn’t actually count as a benefit to society right? But I’m sure you’ll be right out of your parents basement the second your YouTube channel takes off eh?

You're fake news, Robert, and your entire career has been lived inside a tabloid.

Your mother makes a shockingly average fruit salad, though, so I'll give her that.

You went as far as to name LUX a valued member of this roster, and that is where I stopped listening.

Robert you can say what you want until you're blue in your unshaved face. It won't change a thing. I am who I am. We both have had our ups and downs, but at least mine are true. You are the "longest reigning" in something, but you've ALWAYS had help. I've never had help, if anything I helped THEM be relevant, and if anyone here is the 'gold standard' of endurance it is me. If life was a movie, you'd be the sound engineer who fucks up the audio and ruins it for everyone then claims that its "not your fault." That is how you are, Robert. You surround yourself with fall guys and when the gettin' is good, its all you. When its bad, its because someone else dropped the ball.

You don't get under my skin, I find you amusing. You’re a walking, breathing middle-finger to Darwinism and I find that to be entertaining. The more you say, the more I laugh. You say it with such conviction!

Hey, if you believe it, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise big guy!


Just then Chris turned his head towards the television. Damnit, he must have been sitting on the remote and it turned the station. Damn hotel porn! This better not go on his bill.

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"Nobody wants to watch that..........but it is an interesting coincidence..........

He turned the station, to static before looking at the camera with an evil grin.

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