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Feedback please? - Game Girl - 02-15-2019
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=32629
Been a long, long time since I wrote as Game Girl so any and all feedback would be highly helpful. I'm happyish with this rp but thought I rambled quite a bit.
I'm not a pussy so constructive or even negative criticism is welcome too, just like to know how I'm doing.
Thanks.
re:Feedback please? - Corey Smith - 02-15-2019
I will give it a good read through when I feel up to it, but goddamn if that isn't the prettiest promo I've ever seen. How do you get that background thingie on there?
Feedback please? - Game Girl - 02-15-2019
Shhh, it's a secret.
Feedback please? - Corey Smith - 02-16-2019
Ok, so I actualy had time to read it now. But first I wanted to reiterate how pretty your RP was. The coding, the graphics, all a very nice touch. Personally, I'm kind of a purist in that I feel that the only thing that should get an RP a win is the writing alone (I'm not really sure what the policy is here), but I have to give you kudos for the neat presentation.
But now, on to the writing. I don't have a whole lot of constructive criticism because the writing itself is really quite solid. The playfulness of it is cute and I liked it, the way you used video game tropes throughout was really very clever. The way you reestablished why Game Girl was back was also very inventive. I suppose the only two criticisms I have would be that it was fairly light on match related content (you did mention your opponent, but it didn't feel like there was a whole lot of oompf there), and while your work was light hearted and fun, it wasn't terribly "meaty" to me. Maybe that's what you meant when when you said you thought you rambled. It certainly read like you were having fun as you wrote, and as a reintroduction to your character it was great, but I kind of felt afterwards like I just watched a cute cartoon and that was it. Only other thing I can think of is I'm not sure how Game Girl makes the jump from the game to the real world for matches. Maybe this is something you previously established the last time you were here, but I was left really unclear on that.
re:Feedback please? - Darius Xavier - 02-16-2019
(02-16-2019, 11:26 AM)Lux Said: Personally, I'm kind of a purist in that I feel that the only thing that should get an RP a win is the writing alone (I'm not really sure what the policy is here),
Since you brought it up, and for the benefit of others, while things like pictures and graphics and music are all allowed and can make a roleplay more presentable and look pretty those things do not factor into how we judge the roleplays at all. It's all about the words.
re:Feedback please? - Corey Smith - 02-17-2019
(02-16-2019, 12:34 PM)Darius Xavier Said:(02-16-2019, 11:26 AM)Lux Said: Personally, I'm kind of a purist in that I feel that the only thing that should get an RP a win is the writing alone (I'm not really sure what the policy is here),
Since you brought it up, and for the benefit of others, while things like pictures and graphics and music are all allowed and can make a roleplay more presentable and look pretty those things do not factor into how we judge the roleplays at all. It's all about the words.
Good to know.
Feedback please? - Game Girl - 02-17-2019
Thank you so much for the feedback Lux, happy you found I brought Game Girl back in an inventive way, that was the biggest hurdle for me personally.
I agree with your criticisms too, could have done more match related content. The idea was to do a second rp focusing more on that aspect, but work and life is a pain.
Also yeah, glad the extra touches to my RPs don't count. They are simply meant to be nice to look at and nothing more.