So this is a story all about how my life went to shit and I became the sad clown.

What? Did you think that little diddy was going to go differently?

Yeah you did. It's ok. I understand, I'm sure if I was a doofus like you I'd probably think so but I'm not a doofus. You're the doofus.

My name is Surprise or Surprise for short. Time was before all the makeup and death I was a High School Guidance Counselor. I loved the kiddies. And they loved me. Maybe a little too much and that's why on a rainy Friday afternoon in October I was fired. Basically dragged out of my office with a box full of stuff that wasn't even mine and tossed into the dumpster like an aborted fetus.

That was the day Reginald Jay Russo died and Surprise was born.

While I laid in that dumpster, my world having been rocked to it's very core I thought about how I could get back to doing what I loved, making children feel good and that's when the idea of becoming a clown hit me like a sack of sweaty hairy balls to the chin.

As a kid I loved going to parties and watching clowns blow up balloon animals and do some magic tricks. I loved when they made a coin appear out of your air or when they squeeze their nose and water came out of a little flower attached to their breast pocket. I loved the big hair and the bigger shoes. Their little clown car that could fit maybe one fat American or a four person Asian family.

So as I wiped the days lunch leftovers off my face, grabbed my box of someone else's belongs I plotted my revenge.

But that's a story for another day.

Fuck you Random. Seriously, fuck you with a giant clown nose strap on.

Surprise motherfuckers! I'm here!