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+---- Thread: I really hope you guys don't get the wrong idea about me, but...there's this thing. (/showthread.php?tid=3023)
I really hope you guys don't get the wrong idea about me, but...there's this thing. - Dean Moxley McGovern - 05-25-2013
High Stakes and Hot Bites
Time: Around lunchtime
Date: Unconfirmed
Location: Somewhere outside in a heavily populated metro area
The sun shines bright in the eyes of onlookers as Dean Moxley McGovern walks down the boulevard, stark raving naked of course.
(like it!)
“Coming through! Hot package coming through! Don't say I didn't warn you!”Dean covers his privates with an issue of XWF magazine-{if there even is such a thing? If not then his junk's just hanging out}
“Hey boo you like what you see? I see you starin' proper at mah cherry popper.”(love that!)
He says this to a very young looking girl, probably in the age range of 'holy shit this pedophile should be in jail' to 'well she might be legal in some countries' but Dean doesn't really care either way. The girl has makeup on. !BLAM! Done deal right there she's fair game as far as Dean is concerned and he's not shy about making it known.
(confidence is key in this business!)
A man who appears to be the girl's father takes exception to Dean's rambunctious comments and gestures toward the girl. The man steps between Dean and the girl and shoves Dean back, (rude!) so hard in fact that Dean falls back flat on his naked ass in the middle of the street. A Honda Civic is coming down the street fast and the driver slams those breaks but to no avail! The Civic skids about 10 feet......
Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech
! CrRrRrAaAaAaAsSsSsSsH !
The front of the car rams right into Dean and sends him flying straight into a hospital bed.
(dislike this :( !)
“Excuse me for asking, nurse, but can you pump me with some morphine for the pain? I wanna get fucked up.”
“You've already been given the maximum amount, Mr. McGovern. You won't be able to receive anymore until Dr. Wily has a look at you. He'll be in shortly.”“Dr. Wily? What the fuck?”Sure enough Dr. Wily himself floats into the room and greets Dean.
“So you're Dr. Wily? Can I ask you a question and get right to the nitty gritty? Can I get more morphine? I was just telling the nurse here how bad my leg and hip and back and arm and neck and foot all hurt. Hook it up, doc!”
“Silence! You're going to help me build eight robots. These eight robots will help me accomplish two things.”Dean's just got this horrified look on his face. You could say his entire face is just dripping in what the fuck.
“Number one! These eight robots will help me finally destroy that blasted arch nemesis of mine, Mega Man.”Dean looks left and right but there's nobody else around. The nurse is long gone and it would appear Dean is at the mercy of this Dr. Wily fellow.
“Number two! These eight robots will help me finally take over the world. Don't worry, Mr. McGovern, I'll give you a nice place by my side once I am supreme ruler.”Dean looks around and starts to feel like he's floating. He just goes with his instincts here.
“Well that's all fine and dandy Mr. uh, Dr. Wily and I can understand you wanting to select me for this mission because I am straight up da bomb, but what would you do if I told you I have no clue what the fuck you're talking about? And can I get some morphine? My head's just killin' me, doc.”
“But az I have said before, zhere's no doctor with ze name Dr. Vily on record that's ever vorked at zat hospital, Mr. McGovern. 'Tink harder and tell me - could zis have been another hallucination?”(it's Dr. Drake Mallard/Dean's psychiatrist!)
“It wasn't Dr. Vily; the guy's name was Dr. Wily.”“Zat's vhat I said - Dr. Vily. No doctor on record by zat name.”“Then how do you explain Mega Man busting into my room and blasting Dr. Wily with that arm cannon thing he has? He shot up the doc so bad that his floating chair exploded into white dots.”“Interezting...and vhat happened to ze doctor avter zat?”“He popped up into the air and then landed on the ground begging Mega Man for mercy. That's the last thing I remember before seeing a bunch of Japanese names for some weird reason.”“Hmmmmmmmm...could it pozzibly be zat you've been playing a video game?”Dean springs up from Dr. Mallard's couch and looks him in the eye.
“You mean to tell me Zayne Vyper is a video game character?”Dr. Mallard gets a cockeyed look and puff puffs on his pipe a few times.
“I zink you're zinking of your opponent zis week at ze High Ztakes extravaganza.”“Yeah exactly. This guy has been going around and running his mouth about me and it's about to land his ass in a bed.”(love it!)
“I presume you mean a hospital bed, Mr. McGovern?”“Well I certainly don't mean my bed; would you look at that man's ugly hair and misshapen face?”(true dat!)
“Ok, now tell me about vhat else you remember from your stay at ze hospital. Tell me about ze young girl - Shannon.”“Mmmmm, mmm, mmm Shannon. I'll tell you a thing or two about Shannon.”“Remember ve're talking about ze 14 year old girl you are being accuzed of attempting to molezt and have zex vith. Please be honest but careful in your chosen vording.”“Well it was the daughter of that man who pushed me into the street before. She felt bad about what happened so she looked me up and found out which hospital I was staying at and everything. This chick knows how to do her research on a muh'fucker. She came to see me and brought me flowers and candy. We talked for a few minutes and decided to start sharing some of the candy she brought. I asked if she wanted to sit on the bed with me.”“And at zis point you vere in ze hospital bed, laying back?”“Well I had the back propped up you know how they adjust, but yeah doc I was all comfy and feelin' good in the bed after all that morphine I was given. I asked Shannon if she wanted to sit on the bed and she said sure. We shared candy and watched the TV for a while and then I guess I just got the wrong idea somewhere along the way. I could swear that she fell asleep with her head on my arm and that I dozed off too. I thought that later she woke me up to ask me to lick her in dirty places but my memory is so fuzzy. All I know is I am innocent of any wrongdoing and she was the one with weird thoughts on the brain.”(sounds legit!)
“Except you vere blatantly hitting on her and making zexually explicit comments to zat very same girl earlier vhen her father pushed you into ze street, yes?”“I can explain that.”“Pleaze don't, Mr. McGovern. Ve only have a few minutes left together today. Vhy don't you tell me a little about how your experience vith ze XWF is going so far, please.”“Good idea, Doc. Help get my mind off these false accusations n' shit. I think my XWF experience is a great one so far. I managed to pick up a big win on the Shove It Saturday show and now I'm heading to pick up another big win at their May pay per view. I'm pretty sure I'm the opening act but hey, you've got to start somewhere. I've got this egotistical prick Zayne Vyper talking about how I wouldn't even be on the pay per view if it weren't for him or some whackass malarkey. I guess his ego is so fat that it pushed his memory right out of his brain because otherwise he'd remember that it was MY hot_damn_thankyou_ma'am idea to have our match at High Stakes! You should have seen his weak, corny ass throwing out an open challenge to the entire XWF and everybody just ignoring his stank ass. I walked past him about 10 times while he waited for somebody to answer and I kept telling myself not to do it. I am always a sucker for a guy in need so I finally gave in and I talked some light smack to him so he wouldn't know he was just a charity case. I felt bad for ol' boy. I really did. If I hadn't finally come along and answered his little challenge he would still be all alone barking into the wind and putting up his dukes to fight his own shadow, and I'd probably be facing somebody a little more prominent at High Stakes.”“Do you zink it's very vize to azzume you vill defeat him?”“Ha ha ha I'm sorry doc but what in the blue blazes did you just say?”“I mean do you believe it iz a good idea to azzume zat you vill vin?”“Well if I don't win there's a big fuckin' problem, doc! This guy is nothing but a sleaze ball and a shit talker who has a bloated ego. He's the type of guy you WANT to see get beat at a big event like this. I'm the good guy in this; fuck I'm the good guy in most situations when it comes to the XWF and that's really hard to believe but it's true. The fans are going to be backing me just like they were on Shove It and I really don't see anything standing in my way that's going to pop my bubble. I'm about to float right up past the likes of Zayne Vyper and up the ranks like nobody's business. These muh'fuhs are going to soon realize that the Moxley Virus is spreading and this shit is too legit to quit so I'm gonna make it fit.”“Can you tell me vhat zat means more specifically? Zhat lazt comment particularly?”“You'll just have to wait and see like everybody else, Doc. I'm about to pop some bottoms at the crib to get myself primed for Mr. Vyper. I'm counting on that snake having one hell of a hot bite if you know what I mean.”(Ow!)
Dean bites the air fiercely.