First Course; Appetizer - Printable Version

Do you hear them singing Cadryn?

Do you hear them cry out for our freedom?

You see, we will no longer be slaves to defeat.

We will no longer be slaves to ridicule.

We will no longer be slaves to anyone, or anything…

Not The Monster Htaed, not Thomas Nixon, not Robert Main, not Chris Chaos, not Caedus….

And of course, not The Kings who run this circus, or you who dance for them.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with your dancing… For them.

We all have a part to play, a stance to take in this life.

You took yours when you were forced to do it.

You made a judgement call when you had to.

You had no other choice, really.

"You see, Cadryn. We’re a lot alike. HAH. Doesn’t that shit just sound cliché? But we are, really. We both love this, don’t we? We love the attention, hell, we crave it. We love playing the game, we love savoring the victories but we don’t shirk away from the defeats either. In a time gone by, we might have curled up in a ball of self-despair and hopelessness… But those days are past us, aren’t they? We’re… Free in our bondage. That phrase might not make sense to most, but you… I trust you understand that more than any other. You are chained to your duty, your lot in life, and we… We’re chained to this…. Most would say Insanity. I like to think of it as mental hiccup. Hic.

But we’re both chained to these… Lots by some form of choice, aren’t we? Because they give us drive. They give us strength, and why would we cut off an appendage that is so useful?

Would an Olympic sprinter chop off his right leg?

Would a singer snippity snip off his tongue?

Would a pianist lob off his fingers?

Lord no.

Because they are vital to their trade, The Kings have empowered this once broken man. We have given Danny an unquenchable thirst that has helped him soar… Heheh, quite literally in one case. It’s quite riveting, isn’t it?! We hope you agree with us, that you see this twinkle in our eye right now… And feel… No, experience a sense recognition.

But just in case you didn’t, why don’t we share a little tale with you. A tale of our past. Come now, dive deep into our past with us. It’ll be a…. Thrilling ride."

The year is 199X

Danny eight years old, his family is still whole. He’s dipped in luxury, dressed from head to toe in the finest money can buy. A real Richie Rich, if there ever was one you know? If Richie wasn’t a white boy and had the complexion of a beach bum. Danny is wandering about the hallways of his Manhattan brownstone, a race car in hand. The race car zoomed over the walls, down on the red carpeted floors, over side tables and inside of golden ashtrays.

“Vrrrrrrrrooooooom Kshhh Vrooooom!”

His little childlike giggle gargled through his throat as he mimicked the sounds of the F1 cars he always saw on Daddy’s TV screen. An angelic giggle, even more beautiful than his, rose high from behind him. A redheaded girl, pale in the light wobbled behind him, a look of pure glee on her face. The two were headed towards Daddy’s work room, they weren’t allowed in of course, but they’d play outside till Daddy was ready to come out and join them. It was just that time of the day!

As they arrived outside the large oak doors of Daddy’s study, the realized that the fire inside the study must’ve been lit. It cast flickering shadows under the door, as the two got on their hands and knees to try and catch a glimpse of what mystery work Daddy was doing today. It was their little game, everyday promptly five, they’d play guess. Then once they’d decided, or in most cases… Not, they’d ask Daddy and see if they were right. Somedays it was slaying dragons, others buying orphanages to save kids, some days it was fighting off the boogeyman, others it was designing hospitals for the sick and needy… But every day, Daddy was a hero, that’s just the kind of man he was.

“Go ahead bitch, go ahead. Get on that damn phone of yours and call whoever the fuck you call, and whine about how our marriage is in shreds. GO THE FUCK AHEAD. That’s all you really know how to do, isn’t it? Whine, bitch and air our laundry to the world. Like you’re some damn Saint.”

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Danny’s eyes widen, and he looks nervously at Rhiannon, who obliviously is giggling and playing with a doll in her hand. Covering her ears with two hands, much to her disapproval, Danny gets to his feet. He uncups one ear, and whispers something to her ear, “Let’s go grab some candy?”.

“Damn it Jeffrey. Your monotonous, brain-numbing voice is going to drift to the kids and then you’ll have more than one crying little thing to take care of, won’t you?”

As if her smile could get any bigger, Rhiannon bared her teeth and ran off down the hallway. Danny followed suit, his face betraying his confusion at the conversation going down behind the door.

”Boo hoo huh? Yeah, Danny had it real bad. I mean, as bad as every other kid in the USA, except his pretty little toes were covered by two thousand-dollar fluffy slippers. “So, what?” You might be asking yourselves. Perhaps you’re wondering if we expect you to feel sorry for us? HAH. No no no no, nothing so damn contrived. No, you see… That day was the first day we popped our heads. Did you notice how Danny’s first thought whilst his cunt parents were laying the bricks to rip a family apart, was to distract little Rhiannon? Yes. That, there was our origin story. Of course, it’s not like he suddenly adopted the ability to speak with the mouth of a once-beautiful crackwhore from the broken up shack down the road, but that’s when we came about.

We’ve realized that people think this is some kind of gimmick. That we felt stale and so watched a few vignettes from some of the other crazies here and are…. Pretending. Well, our dear friends, we aren’t. Danny’s always had this other voice whisper him little sweet nothings. The little voice that slowly gets louder when he and those around him need protecting. That’s us. The little voice that takes over when he’s lost and aimless, that’s us.

So, no. We aren’t like the rest of the cuckoos that walk through the door here. We just got louder. You see, no matter Danny has ever had to go through, we’ve never seen him fuck up as badly as he has here. We are a necessity, in this dear boys life. And funnily enough, the rest of you would probably be better off with a little voice in your heads too…

Especially you Cadryn.

We know you’re a sharp one Caddy. We know you’re… Intelligent.

And let’s be honest, would you have picked dear old Danny to go up against if you could help it? How long have you been Hart Champion, sweetheart? A week, two? Three maybe? Leap Of Faith, wasn’t it? We don’t believe we ever congratulated you on prying that belt out of those pudgy Gilly fingers.

Congratulations, Jester. Might we be so bold to say that you deserve it?

Well, licking the right boots really does help, doesn’t it?

We don’t mean you weaseled your way to the tippy top, no, no.

We mean, there are two ways to have greatness rub off on you, aren’t there?

Fight against the best, force the greatness to seep into you through grit and blood.

Or rub shoulders with the top and hope it passes on to you.

You fought, for sure. We don’t doubt that, but let’s be honest… Which bit really helped?

We don’t judge though, whatever gets you on top, we’re down with that.

We just don’t fuck with anybody. You see, we want to drink the greatness from people.

We even gave you an opening to throw some comment about how we like to drink cum, go pull a Caedus, say it.

No, you see, if you haven’t noticed, we’ve come back to with a taste for blood.

Grab em’ in our hands, rip their flesh off their bones, and drink in their greatness.. In their weakness. Poetic, isn’t it? You… Just happen to be next. Was communism last week, tasted like poverty to be honest, but we’re sure you must taste like royalty, and lord it’s been awhile since we had something of class.

Would anyone consider Chaos, Caedus or Kropotkin anything other than trailer pack, needle-hogging trash?

You though, the first bite of you must taste like the medium-rare filet mignon you’ve been chummying up with. Everything under the surface is probably… Unfortunately, the same old Cadryn, but that first bite will wet my palate for when we go for The Kings. You’re a fitting first course before the entre.”

Licking his lips and purring deep within his throat, Danny turns away from the camera. Right before he vanished however, he turns his head to face the camera once more and gives it a wink.

”We can’t wait, Jester. But we're sure you can.”

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